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FUEL IN HAPPYLAND [Newspaper Article] — The Mirror — 8 September 1917
FUEL IN HAPPYLAND Owing tD the submarines, fuel is scarce in Happyland. Consequently, Nugget is anxious to prevent any ifrewood thieves from pinching pieces off the old poppy tree. So he fills the trunk with water. Six hours after sunset a saucy thief arrives ?with a saw, and proceeds to purloin enough firewood to cook his breakfast bacon. Soon the branch is sawn through — And the thief gets a severe shock, for a stream of wetness shoots 'out and catches him full in the features, making him decide to do with cold breakfast until some more coal comes to the Happyland coal wharf. iLHtle Boy : 'That Iiuly who talked to me in tlie park gave me sonic sweets,' Mother : 'I hope you were polite.' Little Boy : 'Yes, inn, I wns.' Mother : 'What did you fmy ?' little Boy : 'I said I wished pa had met her before lie got acquainted with you.'
THE AUSTRALIAN ALPHABET. AS THE SOLDIERS SAY IT. [Newspaper Article] — The Mirror — 8 September 1917
THE AUSTRALIAN ALPHABET. AS Till'. SOMillSUK SAY IT. An Australian gunner on leave in London, after many months in France, scuds the .Soldiers' Alphabet from tint War Chest; Chili in Ixmdon:— A is for Australia, where you ongld. to be. H is for llelgiuin, that you ought to see. -) is for Canadians, who answered the call, I) is for Devil, the Kaiser's downfall. IK is for Karfh, he is trying to get; I1' is for France,, which is holding' him yet, (- is for (Joodnesc, which he diiesu'l poec.-s; II is for Hughes, Sir Hilly, now, 1 guess. ? I is for Ireland, who is helping along; ,T is for Jack, whom the (,'erinans find si long. K is for hulttir, tlie luuscr prodaimcii; Ii is for London, where children are slain, M is for ?Miirdering, they like to commit; N is for Xavy, which has made quite a h!t. 0 is for Orders, we have to obey, 1' is for l'aris, thai is quite safe. O.K. (i is for Queen Elizabeth, who is blocking the way; It is for Hansom, the Germans must pay; 8 is for Shirkers, so ple...
NUTS AND CHESTNUTS [Newspaper Article] — The Mirror — 8 September 1917
NUTS AND CHESTNUTS The reading lesson was tlie story of a poor prisoner shut up in a narrow cell, and the teacher was trying (o see if the children really understood what they were reading, and through the small window cume a bar of sunlight, striking ug-ninst (he grim wall, as if it wl-hod to brighten .the captive's dreary life. lie reached up, Irving to get a glimpse of the outer world. 'Now, why wua he so anxious to look out?' said the teacher, 'To see who threw the so.ip. answered Hie clam, in one voice. ♦ « ? Sandy nnd John were .sitting in a 'bus when a pretty Kill got in and smiled at the former. lie raised his '''Do yon know her?' asked the Knglishnian. 'Oh, yes, very well,' the Scot replied. 'Well, shall we go and sit over boide her, ami, then von can introduce nie?' asked his companion. 'Wait a bit,' returned the canine Scot. 'She hasn't paid her fare yet.' * ? ♦ Maud: 'That is Miss -ltyno, the heiress. She- was born you know, with a silver spoon in her mouth.' Mabel (insp...
MIND YOUR FACE [Newspaper Article] — The Mirror — 8 September 1917
MIND YOUR FACE! ,BY JOHN IIARGRAVE (IN THE SCOUT) ' ' . i' ? Queer things, f$ces,~ aren't they? .. ? 'Poor chap, he can't help U!' one So often hears. Of' course there arc some' things a fellow cannot help, but there is a good deal he can help it^p only knows how, and has enough determination to do it; For instance, that vacant, mouthleftopen by-mistake sort of expression. You know what I mean. It. looks brainless and silly. Vacant. Natural. The boy with that expression only needs t» realise what an ass he appears, and he can quite easily make up his mind to alter it. Then, again, there's that hang-dog, miser able, slouching expression (of course, Scouts never have it!); but if by any chance you should happen to let your 'physog' drop into this bad habit, have a look in the mirror and laugh at it. It'll change. I can guarantee a change if you only laugh at your own dismal face in the glass. There is another expression which you should avoid, and that is the high-and-mighty. top-dog,...
TIPS FOR CYCLISTS. [Newspaper Article] — The Mirror — 8 September 1917
TIPS FOR CYCLISTS. When your machine is not in u.-e, never allow tlie. lyres to VJ quite Hal, bill pump in enough air to just till ihcm out. * «' e ?\Vhen buying a new Kiddle, see. lhal the spring* aro right for your weight. A springy saddle lessens Ilia shocks muted li.v it bumpy roail. ? * » AVhen cycling in an 'overcoat, the coat, tails are liable to catch in ihe back wheel and throw the rider oil1. To prevent this, poke them into thu pockets ot tho overcoat. Should some oil net on to the tyre, it. will rot It if r.ot quickly removed, To do this use plenty of l-'rencli chalk. li' that i.s not available sand or road dust, wi.ll do Ihe trick. Don't, however, i:se a duster, as that will vub the v.l in. ?
MASTER RUSSIA. [Newspaper Article] — The Mirror — 8 September 1917
MASTER RUSSIA. Master Russia is seated on a rocking-horse. Liberty. But it is apt to rock. He should be careful.— (Washington Herald.) .' . Ouniui R S Stone, gdsscd, no.v dt , 'Bath Hospital, England. .. ? 'Hello, nephew.' ? 'W^elcme, uncle. You are late, but you can have a front seat,'— , ..(From a Barcelona paper.) ,' , mm iujfiTmnrimff*'*''''''1' ' ? ' ? ' Mrs. T. H. Kelly, who took part in the Actors' Association matinee on Tuesday, with her son.
LADY LIFE SAVER. [Newspaper Article] — The Mirror — 8 September 1917
LADY LIFE SAVER. in view 01 tue coming Summer season, this : picture of a lady life-guard on; the Chicago beaches will be of interest. — (Underwood.) Russian and German troops-on (he East.: rro'nt Have been Jra'Ctrnisirigrbatf tne'dancfc of lib'erty may prove 'a dance of death. '? '? t - -? Gordon Colcnun a fine boy of. 2 ?,, ? ?years dnjj 9 ifionths,Awho'-e Ja.ther ^ is a corponl in Jioncc, alidJwhose ' mother ii. a nurse at 'Muswc'lbrook. '_ ' . . The account in Daniel of the writ ing on the wall of the King's pal ace brought up to date. — Reynolds'. ' Miss Ruth Budd. the wonderful acrobat, singer, and dancer, who will shortly commence her season .'t the Sydney Tivcli.
WAITING FOR THEIR TURN [Newspaper Article] — The Mirror — 8 September 1917
WAITING FOR THEIR TURN Anzacs having a ?welcome meal prior to being reviewed by the King.— (Underwood.) ' . Officer (as recruit fails'to salute) : 'Don't you- know 'who lam?' ? - ? ? Short-sighted - Recruit (cordially) : 'Well, I know your face ! Met before, of courss. How are you, old chap ?' — (From London Opinion.)
Through the Eyes of a Woman :: :: THE WEEK'S GOSSIP Wilful Woman. [Newspaper Article] — The Mirror — 8 September 1917
Through the Eyes of a Woman :: :: THE WEEK'S GOSSIP Wilful Woman. Mdlle. Soubciran. who has been closely con nected with the French Australian League since its inception, walled for Paris during the week, her object being to assist in the distribu tion of France's Day Fund. Mdlle.. I hear, insisted on bearing all. the expenses attached to her trip, thus calling forth the term 'wilful woman' from Mr. Neville Mayman. on behalf of the League. Not in America. Mdlle Soubeiran was presented with a travel ling case with ivory fittings at a farewell gathering at the depot, Macdonell House, on Monday afternoon. Mrs. Arthur Jewett, in a charming little speech, made the presentation on behalf of the French-Australians. Mdlle., in reply, said that when she got to France she would try and make her people understand that N.S.W. was not in America, as so many of them have that impression. A Lost Bridal Veil. Miss Irene Guthrie Harris, of West Mait 'land, was unlucky enough to lose her bridal veil,...
Advertising [Newspaper Article] — The Mirror — 8 September 1917
IJOESTiriWSWEfiEO MEDICAL '.'.Wills fCiiiidno: No, ItKMtKIt (Ni'wmrtU'), 11.11 lUunvouil), IMI.lt. (l)jr- lliiKhuntO, WUItlllU) Ufi'Miiiiu', H.)t lioplle- Imti' ill'KII puill'll. i:M(llllliU (Di'pKord, vie. i; The following uihluic wa« riMutiiineudi'd In he laUen wild water tltrlco dully, fur i lie pain anlelatcd tvith iicinliU:- Acelyl-rulleylle ???III ;, iniim, citrate or pulUNh In giulua, uroiuitlc niilril of ammonia in minima, m nip of uriiuue 1-ilruclim, Hilurufuriji wilier to Jor. U.V, (Kogamh): N'o certain method cmi be ¥UgecKted for Indenting the height of an adult, hUIiourIi you might piu'cliaae a Paud'tw developer, with ln»tnullon» lor uw. and pmcll«e regularly. Ueiwcen the «gf« of 1H md .'XI yrar» u (utir-u -if phyaleal i allure him much in iu f»v--r MAItlON (Ka'l-Mieelj! The favorable i'aw?a for ordinary uuii-iiperallvi' treatment me tliote of clniple goMic or enlarged thyroid, a condition which fi not infre quently met with in young pertuiu about tin1 ugi* of maturity. ...
Advertising [Newspaper Article] — The Mirror — 8 September 1917
WITHOUT DOUIIT EVERYONE MUST CUT OUT KXTKAVAGANCI5 BY MAKING SURE OK GETTING FULL VALUE FOH THEIR MONEY. AS REGARDS THE MOST IMPOR TANT ARTICLE OF ATTIRE. 'THE CORSET,' THIS IS CERTAIN BY PURCHASING British-Made NAUTILUS CORSETS The Latest Economic Pro duction of the Best Brains of British Art in Corsetry. For Beauty, Strength, Shape, Light ness, and Style, they are as perfect as science can make them. All difficulties of distinctive dress effect are smoothed away by wearing British-made NAUTILUS CORSETS They mould the figure on right lines, are economic in price, attractive in style, are absolutely dependable in wear, and give the fullest satisfaction and comfort. Obtainable all Drapers v. - I A FAIR EXCHANGE' is no robbery. Good, lasting, skilfully executed dental work is almost the same as putting money in the bank. A perfectly-filled tooth, which lasts for years. A comfortable plate, which looks well, masticates with ease, and performs the functions required of it, is never dear...
MISCELLANEOUS [Newspaper Article] — The Mirror — 8 September 1917
MISCELLANEOUS KINO'S NASIK (I'M'.. 1'yrnionl.j: It was Wet tin before lie changed it to Windsor. LKAHNI.NU .IAPAXKSK (to .lap. U'iclihardl): Applv to Hie HegMnir, S.vdnev l/nlvciiiiry. 1KHMSI (to U..I.1... Stirry Hills): llotidlnl save un i« hlhltiuu in it hipJiiiie thing jn.icliluc. N.WAI. IIKSKIIVH In (K.A.I... Waverley): Apply lo C'a|it. Jtrownhnv, Kiiylicuileix Jlav, PLANS I'Olt 1101 SIC (to -juiirry, Itullli: Vnu will prob ii'ily Imvv In submit plans. Write mill a»k the shire clerk. WINSTON CIU'KCIULI. (Id A'.Y.Z.. Ninth Sydney): Yes, he Kilt, as Conservative, ini'iuber lor OUIhain from 1WW In IWW. priu.!iiASE or hooks and pajmciis (to Husine.**, uiy Meld): Apply to (,'ordon unit (ioU-h, I'lil-MrvK, Sydney. They will probalilv lie able In stipplv vou. I'KIJKIt.U, INCOMK TAX (to Stakeholder, Stauniore): Xn ; Slate employees arc exempt from the Federal in come tax. &IX Ki:ill.(»N(iH (10 Uecord. AniKiiidule): The world1* record i-i Imiu 7J»ec.«, put up hy .Master Willie, a...
THROUGH AUSTRALIAN WILDS XI.—Some Exciting Sport [Newspaper Article] — The Mirror — 8 September 1917
THROUGH AUSTRALIAN WILDS ~ XI. -Some Exciting Spoil (Hliedttlly written for (lie .Mirror by FKANCI8 mit'liiUH.) ComiiiH ti|» t tied the lop of my action of net to » |»ol«, Wttli a Ion*. switchy olkLt, which 1 n«ittly imthttl along under the hui- face, 1 touched a iilttuer on the shin*, lie l«t out an osvful 'Yak til.' Mis «yc» and teeth gleamed with fright, »o I was. not (lie only on« who had visions Up with a swirl came a big Hopping fin and went straight at Clive and myself. Clive and brother, how. ever, were not there, (lie finny denixen struck the net violently, slewed and disappeared. We two were swimming very slowly, it seemed. for the shoie. Clivc swears that he thought he was swimming backwards. Jimmy Dow Dow sang out f Shark,' and lit our haste to Kct out. we both slipped back into the water. Spears whixzed over our heads, one planted itself firmly into something moving powerfully under the water, out of sight. It bumped against the net and bought), made an explo sive turn,...