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Not Meant for Either. [Newspaper Article] — Preston Leader — 11 April 1914
Not Meant for Either. .Many years ago, at a din(er party in Glasgow, there was present a law yer of very sharp practice fond of giving toasts or senttiments. After the cloth was removed and the bottle had gone around once or twice, the ladies withdrew to the draiwlng*room-all but one very plainl old maid, She remained behind, and as the conversation began to get a little fmas culine our friend of the "long robe" was anxious to get rid of the "old maid," and for this purpose rather 'prematurely asked the prlivilego of giving a toast. This being granlted, he rose and gave tile old toast of "Hon cst men and bonnie lasses," The toast was drunk with honor, when the dame, who was sitting next the lawyer, rose froml he' seat, gave end of her bony finger, and, having said, "That toast ineither applies to you nor me," left the room. Telegramls were invenlted by llthe father of lies, undoubtedly. After all, anything will do for truth-writ. ten on pink paper in somebody else's penlcil scribble...
The Precise Man. [Newspaper Article] — Preston Leader — 11 April 1914
The Precise Man, "It looks like rain." "I beg your pardon," "I say it looks like rain." "What does?" The weather." "The weather, my dear sir, is a condition. Rain is water In the act of falling from the clouds. It la imn possible that they should look alike," "What I meant was that the. sky looked like rain." "Equally impossible. The sky is the blue vault above us-the seeming arch or dome that we call the hea. vens. It does not resemble falling water in the least." "Well, then, if you are so thunder ingly particular, it looks as if it would rain." "As If what would rain?" "The weather, of course." "The weather, as before stated, be. Ing a condition, cannot rain." "The clouds then, confound you! I may not know ats muntlh abdit it as you do, but I've got enough sense to get in out of it, and you haven't," said the man, as he raised his um bt'ella and walked away in a h11tf.
WHEN IS A COW OLD? [Newspaper Article] — Preston Leader — 11 April 1914
S WHEN IS A COW OLD? Provided that a cow has been an exceptional milker in her prime, she may be worth keeping long after her best days on the chance that she may breed heifers like herself. Although there Is no guarantee that a good cow will yield good milk ing heifers, it is certain that a bad cow will not, so the good ones should be kept as long as possible. The ulti mate loss of an old animal is nothing to the possible milk gain from a strain of good heifer calves, In an ordinary way a cow should be sold at her ninth or tenth year. She is then passing her top yield In milk, and is still worth a payable price for beef it in good condition; but there are many exceptions to this rule, and Iii health may knock off an animal at any age. There is no reason to be. lieve that the calves produced late in life will be inferior, and there is no conclusive evidence that the miti of an old cow is any poorer than that of a younger one; while if a young bull is used the balance will be kept. T...
WASTE. [Newspaper Article] — Preston Leader — 11 April 1914
WASTE. By Win. North. A great manufacturer of table mus tard once said that he would not mind making the public a present of all the mustard they could eat so long as he was paid double for all they wasted. Sellers of garden seeds say much the same, and one could go on multiplying examples of the same sort of thing. Too good an example might be found in many a bird room, while the owner of a solitary cage bird is almnost invariably wasteful. Seome waste is inevitable, so far as the birds are concerned, though ac. tonal and total waste may be saved by giving all the sweeplngs from the cage or aviary to the poultry, assumn Ing ally are kept. Apart from that, however, a great deal may be done to keep down the seed bill, and the surprising thing is that so few fanl. clers give the matter a thought. Seed mixtures are the most fruit ful cause of waste and, save in a large aviary, their use Is not to be re commended. Every bird has its likes and dislikes, and given a dish of seed, it will ...
HOW TO TALK. [Newspaper Article] — Preston Leader — 11 April 1914
HOW TO TALK. Keep clear of personalities in conversation. Talk of things, ob. jecta, thoughts. The smallest minds occupy themselves with persons. D)o not needlessly report ill of others. As far as possible, dwell on the good side of human beings ... There Is evil enough in man, G(lod knows. But it is not the mission of every young man and woman to de tall and report it all. Keep the at mos)here as pure as possible, and fragrant with gentleness and char. ity.
LITTLE BRAIN WAVES. [Newspaper Article] — Preston Leader — 11 April 1914
LITTLE BRAIN WAVES, To err Is masculine; to forgive fe. nvinine, Marriage is never a fallure-.but the contracting parties frequently are, All men are borne free and equal, buL most of them spoil it by getting married. if it is anything hlie has paid to hear the average man believes it is true. A woman never has much use for a lman vwho she can't teach to be jeal cue. \Widow's weeds" rarely inter' fero with the growth of a future crop of orange 'blossoms. If a man can't persuade some wo man to lead him into temptation lie gets in of his own accord, I 's surprising how many friends you have when you don't need them. There is no crime on earth a woman wont' forgive a man if lie tells her that her beauty drove hint to it. Sometimes our paths are strewn with red rose leaves, sometimes with clue summnnonses. \Women want everything that muan Sas, except moustaches and bald heads. Every dimple in a pretty girl's face registers a dent in a man's heart. Diplomacy is, in the main, the art of b...
A BRAW COUNTRY. Boy's Alleged Essay on Scotland. [Newspaper Article] — Preston Leader — 11 April 1914
A BRAW COUNTRY, Boy's Alleged Essay on Scotland, The following, stated to be by a 3Bunbury schoolboy, is reprinted from the "Southern Times," Blunbury, West Australia: "Scotland is a braw wee land on the north of England, It has water nearly all round it, and whisky over a large part of it, "The population is about four and a-half millions, including Mr. Andrew Carnegie. It has a peculiar language of its own, and If one can pronounce it coherently it is an infallible test of sobriety. It possesses consider. able mineral weattu, but very little of it finds its way out of the country, "Gold has at times been discovered in certain districts, as well as in the pockets of certain natives, but in both cases it has been found difficult to work. The best-known exports of Scotland are Mtarry Lauder anti Scotch whisky, though sufflicient of the latter Is retained in the country to satisfy the needs of home consumption, "The national dress of Scotland is the kilt, which is a kind of short pet....
WHEN WOMEN "POP THE QUESTION." How the Fair Sex Helps Backward Wooers. [Newspaper Article] — Preston Leader — 11 April 1914
WHEN WOMEN "POP THE QUESTION." How the Fair Sex Helps Backward Wooers, Mere man Is often a peculiarly "blate" mortal when It comes to such a crucial test of courage as "popping the question," So much, indeed, is this the case that numbers of the fair sex have had to propose to back. ward suitors, and they didn't wait for Leap Year either. Few of them popped the question in so many words for that would have been unmaldenly, but they managed subtly and surely to lead the bashful swain into the toils almost before he was aware of it. Thus one dilfldent wooer who hesi tated to ask the fateful query was assisted, "Frank," said his loved one, "auntie says if she likes my lover she will give us a house." There, was a short pause, and then she wenUon, slyly, "I think my aunt likes you, Frank." Then, happily, Frank saw the drift of the remark, and, seizing the opportunity, won a wife and a house. Similarly situated was another dam sel who, having been assiduously wooed for some years by one ...
THE REVENGE AGENT. [Newspaper Article] — Preston Leader — 11 April 1914
THE RIVENGE AGENT. By C, D, Coppinger in "London Opinion." Kenneth Seaforth was sitting lde. spondently in anll armchair when his man entered the well-appointed room. "A gentleman to see you, sir," he said. "Didn't I toll you I was not at home to anyone?" asked Kenneth irritably. "\Vho is it?" "I amnl not aware," said tIe servaat, "o' 'is hidentity, 'E declined to hac quaint tue with 'is name, rentar?king that 'o preferred to deal ilirect with 3ou, sir, 'I1 concluded by helaphasis ing that 'is business was himuportant, 'i precise words bein' that it was of vital consetquence." "Oh, toll hinm to go to the deuce," said Kenneth. "Very good, sir," said the man, mov ing to the door, "No, wait," said Kenneth, changing his mind; "show him in, Curtis, I may as well see what he 'wants." Curtis went out, and returned in ' few moments followed by a little sharp-featured man with quick brown eyes, immaculately dressed and sport ihg a large buttonhole. "Mr. Kenneth Seaforth?" ihe inquir' ed. "Ye...
BUYING NEW IMPLEMENTS. [Newspaper Article] — Preston Leader — 11 April 1914
BUYING NEW IMPLEMENTS. In buying new intplements or ma. chines, every man will be guided by his own experience or fancy. We find one man swearing by ita certain make of machine, and the next neighbor by another make, both claiming that their machine is best, and maybe it is, ac. cording to conditions and usage. In considering the various points in fa vor of any machine, one should always take into account the accessibility of each part. One has often spent an hour or more in trying to get at some part needing repair while the actual job has only taken 10 minutes to do, A Scottish farmer recently paid a visit to a South of England cattle show, and while walking around got talking with ai native farmer. Neither could well understand what the other said. The Scotsman got a little net tied at this, and put it down to the Englislhmnan's stupidity. "Man," hlie said at last, "yetr cows moo a' right, and yer' cocks craw quite plain, but I'nt hanged if I can mak' you oot." lie was trying to ...
THE WHOLE TRUTH. [Newspaper Article] — Preston Leader — 11 April 1914
THE WHOLE TRUTH. By Vernon Ralston. William Arnott came out of the offi cos of Sollenberg, Steinthal and Com-n. pany in despair. He had had recom mendations from half-a-dozen people when he came from Cajada to London. lHe had expected that the keen London business men would have jimped at the chance he put before them. 'Three of the six firms had declined to see him at all. The great Jacob Roth stein, the famous promoter, had heard him for five minutes and then had i? marked: 'IThis is wild-cattery, Iaein youig friend. That sort of h lsiness we do not touch." Arnott had told him wrathfully that he was so used to floating shady com panies that he did not know a sound business proposition when he saw it. And now Sollenberg, Steinthal and Company had frankly laughed at him. Sollenberg himself had got up in the midst of his explanations to telephone to a friend to meet him to supper at the Ritz the next evening, and then had turned to Mr. Arnott. "Nothing doing. We've twenty mines offer...
WIVES WORTH WINNING. Well-Known Novelists on Ideal Womanhood. [Newspaper Article] — Preston Leader — 11 April 1914
WIVES WORTH WINNING. Well-Known Novelists on Ideal Womanhood. Tastes, of course, d:ffer, but men appear to want a wife who never ex. slated except In romantic dreams. She must be a model of all virtues and possess no failings. Shite must be "so pretty that we are always proud, and so good that we are sever uneasy; a woman who wears well and looks her best in two-year-old gowns; who ap plies the adjective 'important' in re lation to our work, our food, and our desire for unfettered holidays; who laughs at our small jokes and pre serves a marble face when we are scored off by others; with whom we have the massively comforting sensa tion that she will never recognise the plain, staring fact that we are not brave, not wise, not clever. The words quoted are those of that popular novelist, Mr. W. B. Maxwell, and "the astounding, incredible thing," he concludes, in his comments on the sort of woman a man likes, "is that, wanting all that, we sorietimes get it."' A truer note, perhaps, is s...
MAKING FARMING PAY. [Newspaper Article] — Preston Leader — 11 April 1914
MAKING FARMING PAY. We are all trying to make things pay, but we refuse to Invest enough brains in the study of things so that we can make them pay. Farming everywhere, and in everything, is a deep question, one o fthe profound east. It requires a lot of thought, study and good judgment to make It pay, Some *mbst have an immediate profit, and so they skin the land. Oth. ers try to save expense in labor, and harvest, no crop; others try to savb ex pense in labor, and harvest no crop; others try to save expense in secur ing good breeding stock, and so pro duo cows theat do not giv the most profitable result, Others refuse to feeod a good cow sufficiently to enable her to produce to her fullest capacity. All about us is this ever-present ques tion of naking things pay, and saving useless, not useful, expense. Surely there is neded a lot of wit and wisdom on the farm. When a man and at girl whisper to gether they are almost certainly say ing nice things. When two womeno whisper together...
HOW TO USE FERTILISERS. [Newspaper Article] — Preston Leader — 11 April 1914
HOW TO USE FERTILISERS. The guiding principle in the app)i cation of manures is to use them as Eupplementary to the natural soil re. sources, and not as a main source of fertility. Most good agricultural soils contain vast stores of dormant plant food, and the aim should be to develop as much as possible of this plant food latent in the soll by thorough cultiva tion, supplementing any deficienclis with fertilisers. W\hat those deficinu dies are can best be found out by ac rmal experiment, and, having deter miled them, the problem for each farmer and orchardist is to ascertain the most profitable and economic way of supplying the soil's needs, In all districts, with a light rainfall, super. phosphate Is likely to continue the most profitable of all phosphatic man ures. In the wetter areas, however, especially on soils deficlient in lime, basic slag, or Thomas' phosphiate is n valuable adjunct to the production of good crops,
THE VALUE OF LEMON JUICE. [Newspaper Article] — Preston Leader — 11 April 1914
THE VALUE OF LEMON JUICE, A teaspl)OOnful of Juice In a small up of black coffee may relieve ai bill. ou1 headache,. The juice of half a lemon in ait cup of hot water taken on awakening in the morning is all excellent liver cotr. rectlve. A lotion of loinon-Julee land roe. water will removeo tall (ul wihiten the lkin. Lotmon-julce with olive oil is far superior to vineogar for a salad dress ilng--equal parts used for blendling. Lenion-juico on loaf sugar is good for hoarseness. If when boilling sago or rice a tea lpoonful of lemon jutlee is added, the grahis will be whiter, tand a dolleto flavor will be Imparted. We all know the value (of as:ilt aul lemon-juice for removing stains fromt white goods. After the juice Is ex. Iracted, the rind dipped in salt clean. sea brass beautifully and convenleot 1y. It also removes unsightly stains from the hands. Tough meat can le nuide tLinder by adding a teaspoonful of lemon-juice to the water in which it is boiled,
THE "SACRED CAUSE" OF AGRICULTURE. A High and Noble Calling. [Newspaper Article] — Preston Leader — 11 April 1914
THE "SACRED CAUSE" OF AGRICULTURE, A High and Noble Calling. Agriculture Is the only life's Job to which the Creator ever directly set a man. Htie put Adam in the garden of IEden "to dress and keep it." Coase= quently, the Mayor of the E nglish ,awn of Windsor was not far wrong certainly he was not guilty of affecta tion-when, ili the course of his open ing remarks at the Royal Counties Show the other day, he spoke of "the sacred cause of agriculture." We are not to confine the word !'sa cored" to matters that touch upon man's future state merely. Anything that intimately concerns man's pres. u.nt happiness and well-being may be so called. Anything that is high and noble; anything that can be exalted in the conception and the doing; any thing that conduces to the best Il man and the best in his surroundings may be called sacored. All this may truly be said of the cultivation of the soil and husbandry at its best, It is not cacy for it farmer alwvays to rernre.ber this. One is not al...
FEEDING FOR LARGE EGGS. [Newspaper Article] — Preston Leader — 11 April 1914
FEEDING FOR LARGE EGGS, Experiments have been carried out by the French Academy of Sciences, to test the effect of feeding on the quality and size of eggs to find out how to produce the biggest eggs, Three lots of ducks were fed on flesh, fish and vegetables. Those fed on the fish diet laid the greatest num ber of eggs, but they were of the poorest quality. The heaviest eggs were laid by those fed on the flesh diet, whilst those fed olt pure grain diet also beat the l?ish-fed birds both for quality and weight of egg. The American poultry raisers are agreed that the best quality and heaviest eggs are got fromt fowls fed on grain wiith a small percentage of lcsh food, Strange to say, they hold that the foraging of insect and such like life has a deteriorating effect on tihe quality of the egg, and they are also unanimous in the finlding thatt too ani ll rgreen food hitas a sitriiart effect on tihe quality and weight of all egg. It is on thie account that they agree that tihe Asiatic b...
SIGNALS FROM MARS. [Newspaper Article] — Preston Leader — 11 April 1914
SIGNALS FROM MARS, It hlas manlly times been sulggested( during the past few years that the occasional peculliarlties upon hie face of the planet .Mars notlced by obser* vers might really be due to powerful light signals, by means of which the Martlans were endeavoring to get in. to colnlulllnication with our OWn planet. Now 31., Ie ('oultre, the disltinguish. ed Swiss astronolelr(lT who is at the head of the (teneva Observatory, in the researches he has (made public concerning Mlars, whicih lie has been stuldying for tile last live years, al though his language is very reserved, undoubtedly suggoests that thlie .\lar tians have been signalling to the earth. During his long observatiolls-70 nights were thuls spenlt in 1900-M. le Couhre observed a series of "'i ininous applaritolns'" of a ,bluIsh white color resembling the lighlt of powerful elecirlc are lamps or searchlights. At first these lightsl appeared for ?eneonds and then disappeared, but in the followillg weeks the illnteirv...
A NEW ELIXIR OF LIFE. [Newspaper Article] — Preston Leader — 11 April 1914
A NEW ELIXIR OF LIFE. 'T'a alchemists of old passed their lives in a vain search for the elixir of lifo-a fluid of reputedly inmarvellous virtues. If once this olusive draught. were compounded in the proper pro portions, all that would then remain to be done was to drink and be mitrcy, fr life would be an indefinite succes. sionus of yesterdays and to-morrows with youth perennial following on periodical doses of the elixir "as re quired." In the course of their resear ches they made experiments without number, compounding most fearsome preparations, surrounded often by awesome ceremonial, but all their do coctions failed to carry even one of their investigators or philosophers bo yond the limits set by ossification of the man-building cells. Despite all chemical formuhle and mixtures, bone still continued to become lime-charged, dry, and brittle, muscles lost their elasticity, the eye its brightness, the brain its capacity for thought-in other words man continued to ripen and rot, d...