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By the Sea. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 19 February 1887
By the Sea. They sat upon the beach, By the sea He and she And.the'waves within their reach Laughed "Tee I hee 1" In their glee, And he thought she was enraptured With his swellish'frail beautee, That her maiden heart he'd captured, We shall see 1 Her hair was just as red As a rose, a When it grows; And the beauty him had led, I suppose, Was her nose I For 'twas very elevated, And as cute as it could be, As they sat (he agitated) By the sea. His shoes were plain in sight, Toothpick-tape (aorrid ape 1) And he saw her with delight View their shape- .'Size and shape ; And he thought that she admired Them-the pride of cobbler's art Which was what he most desired In his heart I With: pretended modestee, (Juist to call Attention all To his. lovely feet), said. he, With his dr 1- , "I will weallv have to covah: " Both my-feet-ah-with my hat, If you look them-aw.-all ovab, Aw-like that I" Then the maiden's nose rose slow, Tossed her head, As she said " Do you think your feet could go 'Neath...
The Stuff Brought Them. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 19 February 1887
The Stuff Brought Them. Phil. Janrey, traveller for a great whisky firm, had just returned from a trip to Northern Queensland. Whenasked concern ing his experience and success, ·he "saii : "Nothing worthy of the name of adventure occured until the other day. I was driving along a mountain road, secure in the belief . that all was well, and doubtless would have remained in that condition had not a violent rain storm come hp. .I was not very well r.cquainted with the country and was -foolish enough to drive down into a stream. Almost instantly my -horses were swept off .their feet. They were .washed around and lodged against a clump of willow trees, where we found .just enough brace to keep the entire affair from sinking. I. began to shout for help. I shouted' until I was hoarse, and then, drawing up my legs, I waited for my wagon and team to be swept to destruction. The water grew swifter, and I saw that.to get out of the wagon would be certain death. Finally imy loud cries, I was de...
For the Ladies [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 19 February 1887
A novelty has appeared in bridal bouquets, unfortunately likely to supersede the pretty ones now in vogue. The new style is to place a high, upstanding one in afive-cornered holder. Muffs of natural green mnoss are also worn by bridesmaids. Some of the out-door Parisian mantles are in very good taste; the pelisse-carriege ones' are seen in seal-brown velvet; trimmed with fur of the skunk, with velvet-broche in large flowers of an exquisite purple; two handsome passe mentrie ornaments are placed at the back, and the lining is of pink satm. In London the various costumiers appear to have amplified the hints they have brought back with them from the gay French capital, as in the newest long mantles, the design of flowers, whether in velvet or frieze, is so ar ranged.as to merely cover the exact portion for which it has been shaped. "Mantles in grey faille will have between each seam a graduated .embroidered bouquet fitting the needed space. Dresses have sometimes carried out on every f...
Kimberley Items. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 19 February 1887
Kimberley items. The following clippings are from the Kimberley Hooter : " There are cuts of social interest oni our inside this week." " The parties who threw the old, rotton, bad-.melling turnip at us while we were re turning to our home at a late hour last night might have been in better business. We give notice to the sickly and weak minded boy who makes a drivelling attempt to run the disgusting opposition sheet, the Kimberley Howler, that we have' been very: busy with job work this week. Our business men know where to get good work. Bow do you like it, sonny ? We again want to place on record a prediction that the weak and wobbly career of the Howler is almost ended. Numerous inquiries were made concerning us last Saturday, and much speculation in dulged in as to why we were not at our office or seen in the street. The cause was this: While at Jim Houck's popular Tent hotel, we learned from friends of a fiendish plat to blow up our office with dynamite. We instantly communicat...
At the Dentist's. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 19 February 1887
At the Dentist's. When the dentist stuck his head into the door and told me it was my turn, I asked him how he had disposed of the remains of my predecessor so easily. He smiled sweetly and motioned me into the operating chair. By its side was a silver-mounted spittoon, for use in case a vital organ is punctured. I told him I wanted the tooth drawn out front view, cabinet size. He replied, that if I didn't like the proof I could sit as many times as I liked. HEe had me there. I threw back my head and opened my mouth. The dentist involuntarily grispAd the side of his chair and said he believed he wouldn't come in because his feet were muddy. Then he ran his arm into my face and began to feel around somewhere inside. I seized his arm, dragged it out of my per. son, ?and explained:tbat my tooth was still in- my niouth, that I had not ~wMllowed it: He said yes, he knew it. I suppose he hadl personally investigated., I never experi enced such an instance of fellow-feeling in my life. "I'...
Art and Artists. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 19 February 1887
Paul Bsudry, the? reatFresnch painter, was sent as a boy by the muinicipality 6f his native town to,Paris't6o be educated in his gift. An international exhibition of arms, ar mor, and uniforms will be held from the 1st of July to the 30th November, 1887, at the Palais d'Industrie, in Paris,. under the patronage of the Ministers of War and' the Marine. Alma-Tr dema received an order from an American picture-dealer for a figure piece at the price of £200. The painting when finished did not please the artist. 1H. took a print brush and wiped it out. The dealer has not heard from him since. The statue which was lately erected in Naples as a memorial to Bellini stands oppo site the COnservatorio, in the Via Constaun tinopoli. It is of white Carrara marble, and represents the composer looking heaven ward for inspiration.: There are niches on each of the four faces of the pedestal, con taining female figures, illustrative of his? principal works. In one is a'small statued representing Norm...
Thirty-nine Girls in Ten Years. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 19 February 1887
Thirty-nine Girls in Ten Years. Thirty-nine girls. In 10 years 15 will have married. In 10 years s-ven of the 15 will be widows dependent upon their own exertions for bread and meat. In 10 years 15 of the remaining 21 will be sleeping beneath the sod. And how far apart will they be sleeping? OJe in Qaeensland, one in New South Wales, one in South Austra lia, one in England, another perhaps in a missionary's grave in China, another-but only time will tell where they will sleep. In 10 years the nine not yet mentioned will begin to lose their sweetness and develop something of the sourness supposed to be in separable from women that are destined to be old maids. In 10 years not one of the 39 but that will have tasted of the bitterness that comes in time to all human beings. Hope will be blighted, loved ones be claimed by that same skeleton you beheld just now, sorrow in a hundred forms will be experienced-indeed, to every one a surfeit of Dead Sea fruit will be offered.
A Cannibal on His Travels. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 19 February 1887
A Cannibal on His Travels. When the Redfern train arrived at George Street the other day, an old woman, with nine assorted bundles and a baby, got on. A young man from B:athurst occupied the seat directly in front of the one taken by the new arrival, and he kindly assisted her to place in. the hat-rack such articles as that receptacle would hold. This' little, attention evidently made the woman think she had a claim on the young man, for she soon leaned forward and asked : " Goin' far?" "To the railway," replied the young man, craning his neck so as to face his inter locutor. "I'm goin' there, too. I'm. from New castle. Where might you be from ?", " Bathurst." . "Ah I I used to know some folks there. " No, where's your folks livin' " "In Timbuctoo." There was a look on the.young man's face that conviced me he was not telling the truth, but the old lady did not suspect it, and pursued her inquiries: " Is that in New south Wales ?"' " No, madam, it is in Africa." "Africa 1! Where the ...
Mothers and Maidens. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 19 February 1887
Mothers and Maidens. The least observant amongst us must have noticed, that, in every town in the colonies, there is a growing tendency on the parts of youths of either sex to make, the principal street a favorite promen ade at evening time. With ihe young men We have no hing to- at resent, butin makmg reterence to t e freedom and fami liarity displayed by the middle'class girls, we do so with a view to their advancement. It is a deplorable fact that, for at least two hours every evening, girls between the ages of fifteen and twenty-one, the most dangerous period of maiden life, make a regular prac tice of " going down the street." In pairs, or triplets, or quartetts, they stroll and loit along the pavement, chatting with their male friends, and, in their own pecu liar way, enjoying themselves. But what an enjoyment 1 To think that the sole ambi tion of the youthful female is to lounge about the public thoroughfare after night fall, doing a " mash," is sufficient to make the thought...
Young Man, Pause! [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 19 February 1887
Young IMaen, wPause ! Mr Nouveau Riche (who has recently ex changed the retail provision trade for private life) gave a party the other evening, to which all the intellect, fashion, and beauty were invited. Of course, all mention of "trade" was strictly tabooed; and after about an hour's chatter of local scandal, the conversation languished. After three minutes' silence, a gentle youth, who set up for the wit of the neighborhood, glanced humorously eat the host, and observed, " Awfulpause !" "Look here, young man," exclaimed the gentleman, as he sought in stinctively to conceal his manual appendages beneath the apron, which, alas i was not there, "if you don't know better than to make fun of my 'ands, though I don't admit as they is paws, why you'd better get out." [IThe ,aluth left, and a constraihed eflitng pereaded the cOmtpaIqy for the rest of the evening.]
Androclus and the Lion. A REVISED VERSION. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 19 February 1887
Aned in thius and the Lion. Ecvzros7 A REVISED VERSIOT. I eAndroclus as a slave, he was owned by a te obe of siplanter who resided near the star city of B Cahimself)rthage, Africa. I have unfortul ately, li neglected to remember the name of the th oenteman whofter hammering the ppiness of I hessig such a remauntil they werle piece of bric-a- a braJ as Andreclus turned out to be. I of regret this omission of mine very much, but W as I have not time to write to the mayor of Carthage for a copy of the city Directory, tu in, which the name and address of the pro ,p rietor of oar hero could undoubtedly be eli found, I shall take the liberty of referring "I buto that gentleman, when I held he occasion to y refer to him at all, as Mr. Jonesut for home, and let Mr. Jones was very severe with his nig- A ugers, and especially so with Androclue, or "Andy, as he was usually called. Andy puTheup with a powerfound lot of abuse from his master for quite a number of years, and in ass this timhetyra...
Miss. or Mrs. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 19 February 1887
Miss. or Mrs. "I trust you will not think me rude, But I desire to know what bliss is ; And when to write I'm in the mood, Shall I address you Miss or Mrs. ? "You understand now what I mean; I'd like to send you ' love and kisses; But then, of me, it would look green, . If you instead of Miss are Mrs." SIf to answer lam forced " (But what ah awkward question this is,) " Er-I am only just divorced, , sndsinmnkneither l\Jiss nor Mrs."__
THE SOLEMN HALF-HOUR. SNAKES AND THE PRESS. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 19 February 1887
THE SOLEMN HALF-HOUR. BY SILAS SNELL. SNAKES AN-D THE PRESS. A while back we conceived an idea. It was not 'much of an idea for a mental Colossus like uni: eve; just the faint;, glimmering dawn oif' ? suspicion that the'plain, unvar nished truth was not being told about snakes by the up-country papers of this joyous con tinent. We read in the Lindsay Back-block Re corder that the snakes of that district were beguiling the settlers' hens away into a natural fastness in the trackless forest, where they retained them all through the egg sea son, so as to have fresh-laid eggs to suck while the summerlasted, and we thought it a wily thing for those snakes to do-nothing more. Then an instructive little yarn went the round of the provincial press about the vipers of Sarsfield, Dargo. It went on to observe that they were in the habit of raid ing the township at early dawn, shortly after the local milkman had gone his rounds, and emptying every blessed jug thathad been left out to take in th...
Cute. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 19 February 1887
" - C te; ' '. - ":: ':?: Prisoner-" I never intentionally annoyed a woman in my life, your honor." Magistrate-" Then why did you stare at her so persistently ?" - Prisoner-" Because she. is pretty and I could'nt help it.". Young woman-" Let him go, .sir.' "' A new glove has been invented in which buttons are entirely dispensed with," says a soeiety paper. No doubt the honor of this invention falls upon a man; no woman would be so hopelessly insane as to introduce a fashion which sweeps aside lose contact with the opposite sex. Woman never glories so much as when, having fumbled with a glove button, sighed a little, looked a deal, she succeeds in beguiling a luckless maninto offer ing to fasten it. He thinks he is all right till he begins; he takes the wrist in one hand, the glove he seizes in the other, then the thought strikes him that his own hands are immense, and appear to grow each time that the fool of a button dodges the hole. Just as his hair is getting moist, and his breat...
One or Two Jokes. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 19 February 1887
One or Two Jokes. What sort of Ascent is a Descent ?-A trip up, for it brings you down. If a bricklayer were called a brick, he need not feel mortar-fled. What is the easiest way for a bad rider to show hiniself off?-To get on a spirited horse. A Mess Joker..-:-What officer should' pos sess the most conversational powers ?-The may-jaw. Time, in the long run, is too many for any leader,' however great ;. but, for a long while some leaders beat time. A City gentleman, the other day, .put- his head on one side when in a thoughtful mood, and has not since been able` to lay his hand on it. :If a dull joke happened to be the cause of a quarrel, could it not neverthpless, be alled
Advertising [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 26 February 1887
preat Annual Clearing Sale - - revious to Stock Takipng at;. 56 . "O' A t A Y'e,9 A It S S 56 Moorab i ool atreet; Gc.eelo..-:., Wien mAic of. tle innit? M.ar' ilit. - rlt++ainr ii"f'D~fa ,-r , ever .offere.( t .the : . opl' . of V, itrt'ibi. will h,, ublsid,,tiiU.f!;t l ,h^ Q+uneniflt .M1nr'cuN I ill Drysle, . irtriidaiih~+,+ Hd,!. (iW. l,,nii: Publlic. I : ''ting full nwarI. (fi? e itliUniher of cheap : .e' fi "e? it t ',il~; i th 4. i? - i &lt;er ii , l)uii tiat ni6 ,i( ait * fIr ,of c i liju. ', l il, ,' , - vbi liV reallY r into iit - n,,,, ,eip ; -ire lie ln olffitPed til "liei P' lie. M. 0. (. E decideed IiI . '('HiiRwipFr U^s Hi* Es li]iE STOCK. t'(tine Pnilic, andni t pritnyc , whichii h ave -Ir',~e ibn apprich ed iii the D-irapcry i?4; 'It:' ie- ' lic are reqiteil t l are .fi iy roid thlirc!lrh the folloiwiml lisrt, Ias M '. ) 'G pl..i', liri.' reprtiatioi t, : 1iplk , evepry a?tiloe einumerated i ihtle h;' .vnFli-.i ? r',qranornmle- a ,laniie i"h tie n--iii, l lis...
THE SOLEMN HALF-HOUR. THE COTTAGE GARDEN. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 26 February 1887
THE SOLEMN HALF-HOUR. By SILAs S?x=~. THE COTTAGE GARDEN. - This is not intended to be an erudite treatise of Botany or vegetable physiology, though'we may give the general reader the advantage of our observations and research in the domain of cabbage and flour culture, and jerk in by the way a few valuable truths that the amateur gardener would do well to lay up for future use. It is written merely' to show that, for a trifling outlay of hard cash andperspiration, the city man may turn his little back-yard into a verdant Eden, where the ripe potato will nod before the evening zephyrs, and the great, hard -cabbage bloom and blush all the summer day, not to mention broad beans, and other tropical fruits; and where the neighbor's cow with the crumpled horn will. come to gambol with the stray horse and the foraging hens when his back is turned. We will endeavor to do it in homely language. We had been reading about an English laborer who, by difit of.workiiig fai into the nightioontriv...
The Perpetual Bore. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 26 February 1887
The Perpetual Bore. c.j? rly every chemist has'discovered some c ?e'ii;}ound that.will cure every disease. This di??overy, stopping at respectable advertise ment'ofr its merits, is well enough, but the inventive chemist stops not at advertising, .in f ect rarely goes that far, but. adopts a moreiimportunate method of selling his com i'uunds. A mxan-who has read much of the .merits of Dr. Bullrigg's Balm, and who be lieves that it will cure him, enters a chemist's shop and asks : 'Have you any of'Bullrigg's Balm?" " Yes, sir, we have it. Suffering, with a cough,?" . "Y es." X VelI,we've got plenty'of the'Balm, buit we also have soinething much better. Now here's, somethingig (taking down ia. bottle) which :e ::inak :ourselves. It's much SI wint Bullrigg's Balm." :" Yes,'I. kno?, -but- this preparation, 'as ,ever.y sensible man:ia .this town will agree, willrknock. a cough higher than a. kite. This Sbottle will.only.eost'you-" *'* I want.Bull-" ": Yes, 'I 'understand.: This mediciie i...