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WATCHMAKING EXTRAORDINARY. [Newspaper Article] — Foster Mirror and South Gippsland Shire Advocate — 26 November 1914
.WATCHMAKING EXTRAORDINARY. The rapidity with which watches aro nowadays manufactured has been made possible by the ingenious ma chinery designed within recent years for the making of nil parts of a watch. The speed with -which these various parts are turned out is little short of marvellous. Great sheets of brass and steel are cut and roiled in to ribbons and punched out Into wheels at the rate of 10,000 a day from each punching machine. Work ers drill the thirty-one holes in tho roof of the watch as fast as they can count. Brass wire glides into a ma chine that measures off the length of a part, turns it, puts a screw-thread on each end, and actually screws it in at the rate of 2000 a day. The screws are of such tiny size that fifty gross of thein may 'be put in a wo man's thimble, while of others there are a thousand gross to the pound. Balances are cut from the solid steel, ground down, worked up and drilled with their twenty-five screw holes apiece at the rate of 100 wheels a d...
Food For Reflection. [Newspaper Article] — Foster Mirror and South Gippsland Shire Advocate — 26 November 1914
Food For Reflection. "We arc united in this movement," said ;i physiologist, apropos of a fight against the drug habit. "Yes, a single tnought possesses us, and in that re spect we're like Mr. and Mrs. Smith. At :s a.m. of a bitter cold morning Mrs. Smith in her thin nightgown was pacing the floor with her colic tormented babe in her arms. The babe's squawks of pain were terrible, yet they were easily drowned by the (ar-splitting roars of young Smith, junior, who tossed about his crib with a toothache. Mr. Smith, shivering in Ins pyjamas, 'bent over the "wash stand, trying to prepare a cotton fill 'ns for his sou and a mustard plaster lor hi; haho. when his wife's voice, sr:im»!.v audible above the uproar, ri .irhod him. " '.John.' riii' said, 'if, seven years ago, i could have looked forward and boii'-'ui this scene, do you know what I'd have done'.'' ■ 'Ye:', love,' Smith answered. 'You'd have done just what I wish I'd done.' "
What Was In It? [Newspaper Article] — Foster Mirror and South Gippsland Shire Advocate — 26 November 1914
What Was In It? . "So you attend Sunday-school regu larly, do you?" inquired tlie new min ister, who was calling on little Nellie's mother. "Then you must know a great deal about the Bible. Can you tell me something, that's in the Bible here?" "Yes, sir," said Nellie. "Sister has some dried leaves in it, a piece of Aunt Jane's wedding dress, a piece of my dress when I was a baby, and a picture of sister's sweetheart."
Shut Up! [Newspaper Article] — Foster Mirror and South Gippsland Shire Advocate — 26 November 1914
Shut Up! Uoward-Parnell lias been recall some stories of his more famous brother, Charles Stewart Varnell. i!i' tells an extraordinary story of their mother. One day when she vvus nursing the future Irish leader some visitors called. For .some reason or oilier she did not want to lie seen v.-iiii tiie baby. and, having no cradle h i:nly in which to lay him, she pop ped him into a drawer and, in her fiiu-ry, anseni-mindedly, pushed it iu "ml hurried to the drawing-room. When the visitors had gone the was missed. .Mrs. Parnell knew .-he had laid it down somewhere, but. for some time she was utterly unable to remember where. After a frantic search; muffled howls from the drawer located tho missing infant, and lie was! released none the worse for the adventure. A cook who had burned up a piece of vjal weighing four pounds threw it away ntul reported to her mistress that the cat had eaten the meat. The lady placed the cat upon the scales and found it weighed exactly four pounds. "There, ...
Old Iron (With Apologies). [Newspaper Article] — Foster Mirror and South Gippsland Shire Advocate — 26 November 1914
Old Iron- (With Apologies). "I saw him," said the witness, "steel a hammer from the hardware store, and bolt for the door, upon which I noticed he had riveted his attention from the first." "Yos," said the Judge kindly. "Well, I tried to hold him, but Ue ga,ve me a wrench, and got a weigh, and then I called a policeman, who nailed him." "You employed grate tack," said the magistrate. "Tin months."
JOHNSTON'S JOKE. [Newspaper Article] — Foster Mirror and South Gippsland Shire Advocate — 26 November 1914
JOHNSTON'S JOKE. By Mrs. Hcwkes-Cornock. Lingard was scarcely a populur per son in the big City office; he was con sidered dull, reserved, and too much wrapped up in his owii concerns. Old Stlck-in-tlie-Mud was wl\at the juniors irreverently called the head, clork, who for so many long grey years had jog ged on in a monotonous groove, giving perfect satisfaction to his . employers, receiving due recognition of the fact in the way of an. occasionally-raised salary, but otherwise leading a, thor oughly humdrum existence. Not for" him were half-days at race meetings or matinees at theatres; not for him. were the joyous amusements of youth; he had grown old before his time, for only thirty-three years had rolled oyer his head—but John Lingard belonged to the type of man who seems never to have been really young:. Responsi: bility had early in life cast its shadow upon Mm, lie had had to think of oth ers, to save for others, to work his fingers to the bone always for others.' And no piec...
Nearly Right. [Newspaper Article] — Foster Mirror and South Gippsland Shire Advocate — 26 November 1914
Nearly Right. The minister became interested in ! two 'boys Avho were holding animated I converse outside his church, and re-1 cognised in one the son of a well known parishioner. • "What is all this interesting talk about?" he asked. "Please, sir," said the little chap, doffing his cap respectfully, "Tommy Jones wanted to know whether Doc tor Blank was the preacher of this church." "And what did you tell liim?" "1 told him," responded the lad with dignity, "that you were the present encumbrance."
THE HAND OF PROVIDENCE [Newspaper Article] — Foster Mirror and South Gippsland Shire Advocate — 26 November 1914
THE HAND OF PROVIDENCE By George Allibone. Nestled in among the low-lying hills of Kent stands the quiet, old fasliioned, and picturesque village of Rosedale. The one little street of the village is lined with stately old elm trees, whose sliady branches meeting overhead form a! perfect arch way of entangled leaves and blossoms, and there niight 'you hear the night ingale in all its glory, and the merri est notes of the thrush and robin, too. • ; Somewhat back of the broad, shady lanes, on a gentle elevation of mea dow-land, stands, or rather stood, for the old house is no more, the Swarm of Bees. It was a sort of structure almost hidden in deep clustering vines and creeping plants. It was, indeed, such a place as we seldom meet with nowadays, save in piehire books or dreams. How the old inn came by its peculiar cognomen we are unaware. Nor could Peter Fair fax, the old grey-haired proprietor, inform you; indeed, there were few men living who could have known less concerning their o...
No Wonder. [Newspaper Article] — Foster Mirror and South Gippsland Shire Advocate — 26 November 1914
No Wonder. We had just drawn up at the dead end at Princes Bridge station, and had detached our engine from the train, when an old lady came up to me and asked, "Is this the train for Clifton Hill?" As I had not had time to look at the indicator, which is further along the platform, I replied, "I'm sure I cannot tell you." A look of surprise came into her face; then she retorted indignantly, "No wonder there are so many accidents on the railway when drivers and firemen go out with trains and don't know where they are going to."
Proved His Boast. [Newspaper Article] — Foster Mirror and South Gippsland Shire Advocate — 26 November 1914
Proved His Bonst. All Irish quack in a certain town atlver! ised io cure any ■!i: i• e in the world. He quickly got a lot. of pa tients, to the dismay of a qualified doctor in the same street, who. in order to linil out (lie quack's methods, disguised himself, and presented him self as a patient. Vie claimed to have three complaints: "lie couhln'i tell the truth." "lie had lost, his tast"." and "lie had lost his memory." faddy had .seen through the dis guise, so, going to the cupboard, le brought out a pill, ami ordered the pa - tient, to take it at once. Unsuspectingly, the medico popped it. in his mouth, to immediately eject it again, exclaiming: ' Soft S'oap." "Be .jabers, you're cured:'1 said fad dy. "You've spoken the truth, got your taste back, and you'll never for get your visit to inc."
A Dire Revenge. [Newspaper Article] — Foster Mirror and South Gippsland Shire Advocate — 26 November 1914
A Dire Revenge. The haughty, imperious beauty handed him back his rinp. "Now that, all is over between us." she said, "I suppose you will buy a revolver and put an end to your wretched existence?" "Worse than that!" he hissed, beins careful to introduce the necessary tone—"far wor-s-se! 1 shall steal a revolver, and I shall shoot vuur meas ly little poodle!" A wild shriek burst from her lips. She fell upon her knees, and But lie had gone.
A CASE OF ESPIONAGE [Newspaper Article] — Foster Mirror and South Gippsland Shire Advocate — 26 November 1914
A CASE OF ESPIONAGE By Ronald Oliver. "Well, this is awkward!" 'Awl'ul! Three miles from any where, ami the tide out. What are we going to do?" And the speaker gazed disconsolate ly over the sandy Hals between the yneht. to the land beyond. His com panion, a tall, sunburnt figure, smiled whimsically. "It's not so bad thai it mightn't be worse," he remarked. ' At least, we've had a splendid week's cruise in the little Ray. ffe mustn't mind a bit cit' discomfort at the end." I'm the oth"i\ a short, fussy-look ing man, was not to be so easily con soled. "It's all very well for you to laugh," he answered, "for you it only means the loss of a few hours out of a lazy life. Hut 1 have business to attend to. If 1 don't get. into (lorebridge by live o'clock I shall miss the train and lose a pot of money. Isn't there any way out of this iixV" "Xone that 1 can see, unless you mean to (ramp across the Hats. Th" boat could take us to ilieui; but it couldn't carry us over them. you know." flow Io...
METHOD AND MEALS. [Newspaper Article] — Foster Mirror and South Gippsland Shire Advocate — 26 November 1914
METHOD AND MEALS. TJie arrangement of meals should be made to suit one's occupation. A heavy dinner at mid-day, when a deal of brain-work or rushing about re mains to ibe done, is not commend able; iu that case an early evening meal is better than the one at noon. Plenty of-time should be allowed between meals, especially when these are hearty ones; only small eaters and invalids should take their food at short intervals during the day. At least three and a-half hours ought to elapse after a meal before another is eaten. : The Sunday dinner with a good 'many people is a heavier one than the week-day, for there is generally lei sure to indulge the appetite on the day of rest. But this hearty meal should be 'balanced 'by a light (break fast or light supper, so that the di gestive organs do not have more than their usual amount of work to per form. ; .Food should Ibe eateu slowly and, if possible, under pleasant conditions. If haste must be considered before everything, light foods sho...
Rough on the Yankee. [Newspaper Article] — Foster Mirror and South Gippsland Shire Advocate — 26 November 1914
Rough on the Yankee. An Knglislunan and an American unci.' h;nl a wager as to who could tel' tin.' biggest lie. Tiic American, win nins the toss, started off with: "Then' was once a gentleman ii Now York " "lloro you an.'." interrupted th; Englishman, handing over the money "I can't beat that." "What. sort of n fellow is Jones ti gel along with?" asked the fat one. "He's an Otherwise," .said thy ihii one, sourly. "What do yud mean, an Other wise?" "I'll tell you. When he's talking ti a Unionist lie's a Liberal. When he',1 talking to a Liberal he's a Unionist When he's talking to a capitalist, he': a Socialist. Anil when he's talkiii! to me he's jinst a silly idiot!"
Rude. [Newspaper Article] — Foster Mirror and South Gippsland Shire Advocate — 26 November 1914
Rude. Tit. f" war- i.ii'v learned lawyer .viin ii :'.v:i v.s hoasted i hat lit' looked twi-t'iy jcar.- >uunger than he was, att. Ii'- an awful blow one day v.'It'1'! ii" eross-examinins a very •iclr'-j" youug lady. i !•• v. ■! i i • ■ r to i • ■ 1 i him I lie age •.if s.>";; Vi'!;, sh'- kI;• ■. el' Hi least to :s -"i--s - at ». !>!!• h• - couldn't ;i'i a sa . i 'i-1 ■■ • i' \ an.-wer from her. •••'• y,.>i can nener.tiij form an aiia ;>[' from propVs lmiUs," he ;.iid cti;tvi!!u!v. ".Ww. ;„y,v old would yell say I a::iV "\\'"!1."' !•■!>: i • a tin' vomit; lady, "you liii;■ l:i !>.■ sixty 1 iv your looks, all. jf.tl-ii!,-; !iy tin- ,iii' si ions you ask I Mio'.iM say aiaoin sixteen!" A Scottish preactier. who fouml liis I'oiiyr-'uat ion yoiny to sleep one Sun day before lie l;a&lt;i scarcely started ids sermon. suddenly slopped and ex claimed : 'iSrothivii. '-'s l.a Mir. Wait till T uct alalia, and ilieii. it I'm na worth Hsletiill!; to, .ualii; lo sleep; h...