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Making a Swing. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 25 April 1885
MIaking a Swing. One day last «eek Toplift procured a rope and a beard, and .et out to rig up a swing in the woolshed for little Freddy to amuse himself with. Seeing no better way to fasten the rope, he bored a couple of holes in the roof, ran the ends through and shouted to Biddy, the servant girl, who hap pened to' be 'overhe'ad hanging out. the clothes, to tie theri together. Then he notched the ends of the' board, placed it in the bight of the rope and inquired of Biddy. if all was ready. Receiving a prompt and somewhat impatient "All right, sorr," from the girl-for, with the piroverbial obtuseness of 'a Celt, Biddy had mistaken her instruc tions, and, instead of tying the ends together, had remained all the time in a sitting pos turehdldiig them in'her hands and waiting for further orders-Toplift got in to.test the swing. He swayed to and fro gently at first, gradually, increasing his momentum until, ultimately, his head and toes were touching the ceiling .at every sweep. Meanw...
Facetiae [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 25 April 1885
To what geological formation does rock the cradle belong? A coroner's advice"'' Nerve1lf1 a tg gun in the muzzle." : A trying situation- P1utting oh.7 air of new shoes that are too tiglitr ` Writing ipoetry;` is,,like putting up machinery. .Everybodyfknows how1until they try. The only, iman!wh l calscientifically carve .a.chicke.. is: a ship's ica . mts-Whg you ?cairvei'two or tlhree chickens every day for 240. out of the year, possibly you may learn hov to do it,, "jie tried to kiss me, and I just told him to behave," said an irate young lady after a buggy ride down the road the other day. " Well, did he kiss you ?" asked her friend, " No, the idiot, he behaved." ::.. i S'Eulalia (s~ntimentally)-~ " Oh no ?lI have no desire, for great wealth, iI ,should be happy as the?ife of a noble bread .winner." ,George, (pmactically)-'-AndA I; should be :happy, very happy, as the husband ofa good bread maker." She concluded to learn. ,A lady, on a visit to Melbourne racL course, was 'terribly ...
People I have Known. IV.—"CHAWLES." [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 25 April 1885
People I have Known. IV.-C" CHAWLES.'.' Take a pole, dress it in plush and buttons, and you have an aristocratic footman in an aristocratic family. Take a chemical comrn pound composed of - conceit, a pinch of Ssense, j bad English and mangled grammar, and mix well, and designate it " brains;" and you have him intellectually. A family.in the upper` ten of fashion had a footman answering the name of Charles Le Grandchand.. A.' luxuriant golden :beard' arid moustache, Roman nose, combined ~vith a habit of spealking in a s'ubdued tone,. t and fingers glistening with rinigs;' to give him the appearance of a reduced Duke compelled to. assume that, menial position, and.:a con siiohsness of'the immense benefit he was con iferring 'on 'mankind by so. doing. .,He was highly'cultured,'spoke with a; gigantic drawl, and passedctofbr learned,' insomuch that he .quoted,i jiltb., .passages from ancient history. and a?in orations which no ody under sto6d ,a`n would' not have perceived appli :cAble'...
The Position of Turkey. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 25 April 1885
The Position of Turkey. An able leader appears in one of'our leadinig journals, enquiring what is thei positioii bf Turkey;.This Turkey business is getting very monotonous,-so we pick aibone with it. The position of Turkey, as we saw it on EalTr Monday, was that of a skeleton lying on its back, minus its legs wings and wish-bone, with here and there, some ,light and dark neat .hanging on the fragments. There was just enough left for our lunch the next day, but the younger 'members of our family struck the plant beforewe did, andthei was ndthing left but the dish.
A Tragedy Prevented. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 2 May 1885
A Tragedy Prey?inted. An unlooked ,for termination to an in tended tragedycoecurred a few years ago at Portsmoitth.f Captains Anderson was con tantlynfpinplainilig that his subaltern did not ';reat him with sufficient respect, but the nore he pointed out the necessity .for his 5being'accostedt? ith the deference due tol$is age and superior rank,:theiiore waggishly *fmilar~e uld Ridley's 8lnagageand manner Adamson for a considerableportion of his life had held aue. post at anifsolated corner of one of th'e West India Islanils, and being ,the,'heqad bhkra"' while therneacquir?'Rn rdea of " hi~ own impoertance,,with which on his re-visiting Britain he was reluctant to tih?.pairttV He 'ias' in the main, however, a kindly :dispoied person, but very illiterate, and not overblest witli- atural sagacity, yet, des ite-the copstat fifreedoms of Ridley, the cep ai?wa n?ever so happy as when ii his ompiany. One day, nevertheleses the superior opined that ,his;Jieutenlant;had~iarried ,the joke t...
Advertising [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 2 May 1885
Any description of General-Pnting e l - s- Sty P a y Quick Despatghandr'I eateciE :at heIe o ,, %71e Aclw Deg ' d.rL Qo ow w a A ''* '"''"w l i rpnAd agw.ý Depari*tment every effort,, s, aadei toffsatisfy, Fstonm ppecia Inducemedits rf691%Wfe"A f ents and o ot n o al . x' `cforian ýýara.Compy;:Limited. I CAPITAl- ;ooo0,OO. S 1(Tosta? with). :,. Incorporated under-a ~aleg statute-for thy opoaýsig9 oly1 b which each8harpholder ?,, stand it.) The ComipnyywillA suh as manty s`ares as osible,,at what thdy will ftch in theemar-L :et ; ,payable asfollopws "-=.Nothing on, ap ,llcalon; don't care a lbu ton on. alotoment, tie'balanre to e"ma?l eiii by side.iripu detief;ea'idigbeletill I'iffiieincy;y'flr , o n tI Directors. ., The Hon.,` . B, DALLEY Ohairman (By per. ar'sit the ý. lureq, men ! A ;',%i ,r.; .. :r.1 ý ..;.. , -' Gomr}il9dYe o b -Izls: (late ;of ther-pilot I service). !.," , , ,DAVID LYMiE -ES. , the Dail' Trirnner. 1 I1t$fiwe dti R, o"exact contr'ct, ifid S subtract, in any way ...
Light and Healthsome [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 2 May 1885
A1 ,laughingstock-a-collectionof good %jokesi~ , ?; ; P, "ýTh atmosperc around n hdi1 b4 is aV waystmuggy. M"'* A long^fr~mp ne~hest nusi2 feet in his-stUckihgsA?.(.J.-'---- "W-i . .id, Principal labor question: Isn't-it about time to knockoff?-, ' L, ' Jones calls tie pchapter in. new nore over vhicli his wife wept profusely, a waer ing-place. "It is a wise child that knows its own 'ftier,''saia~'thYctiicKea3'airst-sfpped'ottof the incubator. "A flesh-' pot' of Egypt," as the.soldier ,said-whenabew'fiid atr- and wounded7-o. 9t.-: theMTahdi's men. ' The most beheficialf~imjeCfoi a cholera. scare is aboitd twelv montliAV before the[ cholera arriv'es. ' .Hymn to be sungttl4 seqes of a gehtleman who didn't know it, was. loadedL:_ 2_.A chargeito'keepp.have." ; .- 0 ' i ' ,1 ,-By a'railroad accident-the arm of Mile. / 'Grace de la'Fo'Btaine?w.asvbroken; and'slie5 :aio sufferedpLa disclosure of her real nqme,, M aggieM, cCormio .,i );; . ; :: " ;: " u-:,;> ,_ .,'i .. ; :A little girl.o...
ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 2 May 1885
ANSWERS?T0CORMRSP0NDENTS? OLD MAAID.-Don't 'giv' up.*Naomi, the daughlter.ucfFnoch did not marry until she was 580 years old; ' Tilere is hope for vou yet . ,. RHYMER.-WVe sitrongly suspect that you " cribbed"'t'e follonwing staza a:-- ".'" ' " Tikle tinklle, litte star,' ; i B w'e wonder what you are; Wauderiqg trackless space aloit, '' Doeslyyurno?ther knowyour'route.?" -':.' Anyhow, it wbn't do for us. ) t BATHER a8.9j5 hy'ie' ilway feels thirity after cominig .puf ofi~the wate.Why, probably hccause he rubs himself dry. HU RT.---lf? theophronologist,«eaid-yeou.had: large bumps of qiiarrelsoiieness, you did quite right to challengel him to'j .taid-ip fglit. Tliht': was the way to show the shallowness of his so called science. - --...-- .... PhACHY.--Yes, black eyes denote passion; but if ydur young! man sports& anuornameit-'of, that sort, you needn't fear his temper. . It was some other,fellow who was the passionate one. 8usi BiYduo'h,=iii 'Whffis a'lfi'h ?" 'wi'i not fit ...
The Kangaroo's Mission. PART II. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 2 May 1885
The Kangaroo's Mission. PART II. 1The voyage was long and the r eather.wasstormsy: EHbostiffered a little from se?a- ickiesstioe.-'" jBut hilanded at last none?ibo we'nSfor his' Slod ked ery inlic?a oreal grandKan= With hihop, 'skip,l and 'jiump, he sped over .- .broad England • l, i, - In earch oftlhe far-seeing (?).povers that be, He''3iund my Lo dlShifty. sd snug at'Haiwarden Admiring the G.O.M. felling 'a tree. But Derby the shifty dropped down in a panic; The G.O.M. let his axe fall with a yell. As leaping between them with paws wide ex The Kangaroo came and cried"angrily. " Well ! You are a nice pair, quite well matured too, I must say. ,Such-blund'ering.muddles?lnevertid see * TheTe, geital??ng, do, wtmiyour tree-melling. non. ' ' sense, .isk .84 ',t And leave the transaction of business.to me." " We will," cried the sorely scared c?ctple in Do go D way Tplease;lyou have frightened us so. i}ve thought 'twas the?Ivl one coming in person; Tt wasn't;-it seems; butinmercy'pray go...
What is Persia? [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 2 May 1885
W? hat is Persia ? : eria has. been allowed o drift *aipywarhd RRussia, And iwhats e eesei to b tv lot uight of is that ldw*oenitry is the finest recruitiag greasnd ,Asia. English owsers o the prcitical type have frequen-tf aserted that mterial for making some of the smartest so8 diery in. the world is to be found in Persia. The Persian soidjer is ;Irave, actve, tand hardy. Hisi pihsiqoh i magnificent, and fhist pbwJ'ld.ieur .anceis. great. Upon dry bread}.with in occasional.' bit of cheese or a.basi n of curds, the Persian willthik riothing of. marching his 30 miles a day for days i. succession. And the Persian soldier, ii not, perhaps as, tall as. our wdinary linesman, is as heavy and as strongly built. Only feed him and pay hiin,...and, the Persian sepoy, essentially a mercen ary, will be as faithful to his colors as any soldier in Asia. So much for the infantry.' As for the cavalry, as irregn lars they are probably the finest in the -world. No rocky pass is too steep,. nor marbh...
Broken Loose. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 2 May 1885
,Broken joose . , It is` stated that; the: g`eat majorityjof the ,volunteers in theNew. South Wales continri ,gent for, service ?in the Soudan are.,married men. Ha.!just so., Tlhis is hw the Prmcess Nekayah put? the maltter =o'Rasselai `'?l' s, knowv not :whether: Barriagelbe !nore-thhir; one, of the jnnumerablet Miodes 0of human; misery. When I see and reckon the various foirm of .connubiaidfelieiy; the unexpected causes Hof lastig"di cord,'the diversities of !temper, `tie djppositions-ofopminion,;the irude. cbllisiois: ofcoritrary desire,ithe.obtuse;:coi testsfof disagreeable, virtues; I., am some-. times persuaded oi iink, wlith severer cas uioss of 'astftions,-that marriage is rather periitted ithan' apljpoei~i . SYes,; ??nin l Quite; right,; miot nobldePrincess.u And::you ;might have, gone;on adding up, o.thercalami ties inseparable from or ;ontingent. upon the marriage statemothlers-in-law, twins; poor, -relationsl bonnets,tand tlie rr itatiiiggobliga.' Itions :;hich; rests in...
What is a Piggery? [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 2 May 1885
SWhat is a Piggery ? -rThe above question has often been discusfsed-at the Queenseliff Boroeah Council table, and the fllewing win ! prove of interest to our readers. It is a decision given at the Geelong Police Court recentry before Mr Heron, P.M., and Mr Gibson, J.P. The Newtown and COhilwell Loeal Board of Health (which is represented by the borough council) prosecuted Mr John Ince, mayor of Geelong West, for neglecting to register his piggery at Balliang farm, situated near the Barwon river and within the borough boundary. Mr T. N. Whyte, instrncted by Mr Harwood, appeared on behalf of the board, and Mr M'Cormick appeared for the defendant. Sergeant Moore, the health inspector, stated that he had visited Mr Ince's farm on the 8th December, 1884. He then fonnd 14 grown up pigs and six small ones; in his opinion, the place was a piggery. On the 24th March, 1885, he again visited the farm, and found one large one and seven small ones. Kenneth Sutherland, town eter e the borough, pr...
My Sister-in-Law. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 2 May 1885
. My-.Sistermin- LawY i Who was it when her age was three-.: 'My wife might then some twentyble- ' wused to kiss upbo my knee" ,'"' S " . ' y'sister-in law. W1.O when some twenty years had rlle- '2Myawife at that time lobked quiiie oli-ý Still! took my kiss nor thought it bold i?' My Jsister-in-law. Who stood the sufferer's death-bed nigh My wife just then was going'to die~l "And'weeping, urgedmeanot to-cry? ... My sister-in-law. Whopoured cobogneiiuponfmy brow ' ." IMy.ancient wifeldeceasedwas now-- :, And to my:bales her lifeadidvYow?. i);?,l;,: ly wife'had been si monthsi'alrest-i-l, Alif-tiinbe's1ove-:foin dfconfessed'? ! : 1ii9'* ta .e:i'dMy sister in law d She still is-yoing, but :am: gray,- ; .i ,;. And reptthe fatal-day , ... That left, when my wife passed away..,,. 2;- My sisterilaw 12'~ ;.'v
FOOTBALL. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 2 May 1885
The- season will be cnmmenced cn m a Thormday next when the fi st't~i?tiit?ill rmeet the next 23. Play to ýi$it :3 Them followingai , fron wltiu thje ht twienty i91 be selected, ae requtreated to naisen' Mbe on the ground not rter f,bie3 2.45iu; Akins, Cottier, Farreli, P~*Iims, +-an-;. • by, Jrding (2), Henley, .M cks:, Tsie, Janpieson, 'Jordan, Longg Moriioi,: ,tephen:(2), E. Todd, (?ie-c"apt ) Wells:. Wellar,. Wvilimis, (capt.). ThDe nio-s will be selecte'Tfionr stlie . ?ollaiwh:--W. Owens, Morgan i:(3);,:: i -T. ,edi , Zanone, Currow (3).? . Gane. (cape.)r McMillen. Cuzei?e, Burn' t.I 2),4 Wellard, Todd, O'Niell, Arkius. A:. C~iens, Priddle,. Farrell (2) Sephei" i(3);i: E. Iottee. Members ,md intetmlibg meimlers ,re:'.' request to aseimlne on the Sports ground. ?h?~rfternoon .t 2.30; for practise Teanis' to be chosen by captain and vice-captain. .
Special War Mems. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 2 May 1885
: ppecia1 Wag' VLemsy : i :. With our usu?aLproniptitude we despatched' a.special correspondent to the scene; o1the enf-t gaglhneit~ibet'een the Afghasans?nRsshinu., .We do "not kno~' whether o?ir 'electioni f'a war correspondent haistben sia happy one, 6o whether the Ruissian Raki ' (i4.,; bad;wliisky) has been too much for:himn.; but allow his message to speak for itself :-- . A' Pendjehi April 16th. " Arrived at Khush, aiid made a p'us, too lateto be in time for"'ili'r?slihbetween the Afghans and the Rush." (idi'tbr= This is hmush.) "By an unfortunate: fliak miove ment, I was attacked in the rear;.and carried prisoner into the Russian i'i i.es This, you will' admit, was very bird ;lihes.d ?:cl hid to -march with the crush, through: te- slush, without any lush" (Ed.-MA ore gi?.h)L"for several miles, andlwas taken before General IKomoroff, a sallow, or rather tallow -looking indivildual, with moustachlithicolor a'il ap iearance of an American'I'oi?irmli '? ekindly allowed me to sen...
The Miner's Partner. IN FOUR CHAPERS.—CHAPTER II.—(continued.) [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 2 May 1885
The Miners Patnr , IN FOUB OHAPiSr.s-O A FCTE 1 nti4 . Taking with him the two volises to which Absaloi had madeo4,9 startling a referefice, Ben strode acros4 toP - hut,: mean-lookiig enough, but whichwas -sonmewviat larger than common, and which w,,rs dignified,. by the words "Bank, Post-office,.Mail-Dep6tt being inscribed on boarditls~ ge as thefront and sides of the buildinibld 'coiveniehtly hold. Having deposited his luggage with the clerk; he was about to returnmto his own:tent;?vhn he muttered: "I will hvy ia last dlok;it ,the old place;" then turA igt d n'6nie' it'one of the numerous ravines which ran close up to the town, he was speedily at the foot of the low hills; and a few score yards, easily threaded by him, amid the inticacieoLtrenches,-mounds, and pools, brought'hin to thle sbeiii-of his"last speculations. The moon was rising. It is hardly possible to say so much without.dding'thab-ib-had'risen as the full-moon, of aa'size andi splendour not seen in northern climnates...
Babydom. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 2 May 1885
,The Conferencen of;,School.iBoysin France has had ' ian: il efect in ourlown land .Though iis not as yet generally knwn, yet in short time .will':ebli61d l - ;iQoinference of: Babies, and thr6iighakchannel which we:are -in honor bound nnbtto.divulge.we have been made acquainted.winth.madny matters which it is ilntetidecl saha co?mi snder discus ion at the meeting;? I:tI oit of ireaid for ?the numerdus parents whoi.. these matters will, affect that We feel-ourselves bound to make. them public. The vote ,of the ýiference & w ill ie taken' as to wheth&-'b?h6t' it'lis'deogatory'to the houor ??f any-two babjies ;ott~ke their airing ,in the same, peranibdilator, or whether, every; baby should not)iave his ownprivate vehicle. A discdssion l take plae on the best" form of feeding hottle; `' S7:It is intended to pss a 'resolution condemn-: iug the administration of, powders in a spoon: as a r(h)ubbarbarousandcruel practice,.and 'to aitate for thie suistitutionit of cliocolat...
Some Brave Soldiers. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 2 May 1885
'" At Balaklavan thejmagnificent-.mad ide iimoiifortalised byfthi PoFLilitLaurete, a-iilci Sdeiit b curredwvhiol .shows how:l e f?ieo?orbn comrade can be in "theo?lfeice `f anothker. Ti~bioer Samuel Parkes;-of the-Light Dra gbbioons had, his horse shot under him, and stodia oilianrd byh s'' gooa' W sted!as,, itbl`'y wr9ithingi in thi?deti, agonyfin that famousiii alley:.i iTruml5et-Major ?rawford dashed byJ tif horse stumbled, aid in.an mnstant he:was dismounted,; hi sabre ;-bdi ' isent whirling oitt of iis gynspy 'l;thb iok' `iA'' ipdir iof Cos~acks saw theii· opprtuifity anhd spiirred iuponi the.?idefenc lss .ohdn-coommissioned 5ffieir, u buntParkes bravely confronted themnr .nid'kept them at bay, until the retreat be gai?lwhen the heres wer ?followed by six, 'Russian?,)Parkes; 'iith inBsinole isword; hold tlheli atarm'silength:.fighting apd defendingd - the' tr umpet-major ,until deprived of - his weaponbya shot. , r A."'At the, famious e ,ig T''roop' Sergeant-' M Iijor John Berr...