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POOE ME . BUMBLE [Newspaper Article] — Farm, Field, and Fireside — 1 March 1884
POOR MR . BUMBLE! BY EBEN E . REXFORD . Mr . Bumble , —Timothy Bumble , bachelor , from Spadunk , —sat iu his room the very picture of despair . That morning he had arrived at the home of his brother , on his annual visit . He had felt a presentiment of evil for some days back ; something had impressed him with a vague sense of impending danger . He had not been able to satisfy himself as to the nature of the danger menacing him , but lie knew well enough that something was going to happen . He had told Hester so , before leaving home , and the old housekeeper had pleasantly suggested smallpox or a railroad collision as the most probable dangers . But now he knew what the danger he had foreboded consisted in . Worsen small-pox , groaned Mr . Bumble . Id ruther run the resk of bein braised an mangled in a smashup than to face that ¦ widder down stairs . Yes , sir ee , with a nod at the bedpost , as if he felt sure that portion of the bedstead s anatomy could understand iind sympathiz...
A SONNET . [Newspaper Article] — Farm, Field, and Fireside — 1 March 1884
A SONNET . W . S . K . The hungry winds are chasing long the sky , And pluck for aimless sport the dream wrapt leaf , And nil the day is filled with vainlcss grief , As writhing branches in the storm winds cry , For their robbed glory that goes quivering by . Misfortune comes , e er groping blind and deaf , Steals peace and joy be it soever brief , And to our wailing gives no answer why . We cry aloudf er love forever flown ; It like the wind swept leaf cannot return . But , hearken close , we hear the thousands moan , For peace and love that had too short sojourn . And think alas I too oft , our feeble urn Casts greater shade than if a thousand shone .
WHISTLEE'S MARE [Newspaper Article] — Farm, Field, and Fireside — 1 March 1884
WHISTLER'S MARE BY HELENA DIXON . Balky , do you say ? Well , she has balked in her life-time , and let me tell you , shed be of no more account with me than any other horse , if it wasnt for that very thing . You used to know Beckey Ash , perhaps ? If you did , you knew her to be the brightest and prettiest and best girl in the place . I courted Beckey for two years , and everybody thought wed bo married for sure . Well , just so I thought , though we hadnt said so to each other in so many words . I was young , so was she , and I thought it best to get something of a start in the world first . That was all well enough , you think , and so it would have been if Siin Durwent hadnt come our way with his bleached-out face and soft hands . Everybody said at once , hed cut me out , for Beckey was , by all odds , the best looking girl in tho place , and it pleased her to be noticed . So when he asked her to go with him to the picnic that wed been looking forward to so long , and she said ...
MY CHILDREN [Newspaper Article] — Farm, Field, and Fireside — 1 March 1884
MY CHILDREN BY C . . E . F . ur little tots , Bob , Bertie and May , And golden-haired Bessio , eat to-day i Neath the old apple s bough ., near my study door Planning and dreaming tho future o or ; Planning the things again and again , That they will do when theyre women and men Out spoke master Bobbie bold and free : Ill be a great sailor and sail the sea ; An admiral bold as a pirate king ; And my trumpets through all the land shall ring A s I march in state from my palace gate ; Make room , make room for Robert tho Great . And I shaU marry a prince , said May , And in satins and silks shall sit all day On a velvet couch , the envy oi all , Or shine in my diamonds at the ball . Quoth Bertie : When 1 am grown a man , I shall write great books like papa can ; Sweet songs Ill sing , great stories tell , And all the world shall love me well . -hen baby Bess , of the deep blue eyes , That rival the hue of tho summer skies , With cheeks like milk and roses and gold , With an angel-like...
THREE CHILDREN OF THE SANGAMON [Newspaper Article] — Farm, Field, and Fireside — 1 March 1884
THREE CHILDREN OF THE SANGAMON BY W . S . K . ( CONCLUDED . ) CHAPTER IV . FERN S STORY . One evening Pern coniuieneod to tell his story . Ill tell you a story I read in a book once , Toot , and Wayne , you must let Pickle alone and pay respect . Onceupon a time when the world was new , one day I saw a big blue elephant walkin down the railroad track . Didnt have railroad tracks a long time ago , interrupted Wayne , in a half disgusted manner . He could admit the color of the elephant , but such a good story teller and so consistent he deemed Fern , that he could not allow this inconsistency to go unrebuked . Fern gave a che che for punctuation , and not noticing Wayne , went on . It was an awful hot day . The thermometer was boiling , the chickens panted , and Tiger went in a swimmin . Wayne cast a surprised glance at Pickle and said , I guess that was Pickle s grandfather . Fern continued . The blue elephant flapped his ears to keep the flies off , and wabbled and wabbled as he wa...
JOHN'S ESSAY ON SWITCHES . [Newspaper Article] — Farm, Field, and Fireside — 1 March 1884
JOHNS ESSAY ON SWITCHES . A swich is a whip to lick a boy . It makes a boy holler . Girls dont get licked cos itd spoil their dresses , and dont do no good nohow . They are all sizes—the swiches is . Main alius takes a kern sprout , but dad aint particular and takes a board . Bill Flynn got licked with a hitchin strap . Bill said if he hadnj ; yelled like a hiena itd cut im in 2 . Bill s business . He can chaw and smoke , and bio it thru his noz all 2 wunst . Bill never washes . I wouldnt nuther fit wasnt for the swich hangia by the winder . The way mam whips is this : I kneel down , she chucks my nose dark tight iner lap , then I wate fer the litenin . I ve cotrnted 19 fore itd strike . In cases like that it comes hard . After the first round she stops , takes wind , and lites in fer the hoam stretch . Mams no slouch . It dont hurt much cos I got • 2 briches on and put some rags between . If I didnt Id have to stan up when I eat . The worst swich is a cow-hide . It s redhot , Bill ...
C 03 IPOKT . [Newspaper Article] — Farm, Field, and Fireside — 1 March 1884
COMFORT . We piled with oaro our nightly stack Of wood against the chimney back , — Tho oaken log , green , huge and thick . And on its top the stout back-stick ; The knotty fore-stick laid apart . And filled between with curious art The ragged brush ; then , hovering near , We watched the first red blaze appear , Heard the sharp crackle , caught the gleam On whitewashed wall and sagging beam , Until the old , rude-furnished room Burst flower-like into rosy bloom ; Shut in from all the world without , We sat tbe clean-winged hearth about Content to let the north wind roar , In baffled rage at pone and door , While the red logs before us boat The frost-line back with tropic heat . And ever , when a louder blast Shook beam and rafter as it passed , The merrier up its roaring draught The great throat of the chimney laughed The house-dog on his paws outspread Laid to the fire his drowsy head ; Tho cat s dark silhouotte on tho wall A couchant tiger s seemed to fall ; And , for the Winter...
ANSWERS TO PUZZLES IX JANUARY -fl . l _ BE _ . [Newspaper Article] — Farm, Field, and Fireside — 1 March 1884
ANSWERS TO PUZZLES IX JANUARY -fl . l _ BE _ . 1 . Honesty ( On fl , t ) . £ . War-ren . a . 8 C R A _ OUTDO LARGO ABYSS ., A i . V 1 . 4 . 1 . G-l-uvc . _ . T-w-ire . 3 . W-h-clni . •_ . C-r-UKO . 5 . S-t-ray . Ii . Money . Naught rules mankind with sterner sway Than money , more thanking ; Vet while we clasp it in our hand , lis bat a useless thing , C . D SIP SCARE D I A M O N D PROUD END D T . F _ iai , FIELD AND FIRESIDE . s . Night-in-gale . ! i . PAPER AGILE PIOUS ELUDE RESET 30 . 1 . Wi .-h-e 2 . Far-m . 3 . Tea-r . 1 . Fan-e . S . Tape-r . 11 . Chaucer ( Chaw , sir ) . 1 * . . SAMARA A P O D E S MORALS ADAGIO R E L I E R ASSORT 1 Ii . George-noble . 11 . Time ( or life ) ls flying .
NEW FUZZILES [Newspaper Article] — Farm, Field, and Fireside — 1 March 1884
NEW FUZZILES 1 . —LETTER ENIGMA . Five hundred begins it , Five hundred doth end it , And Ave in tke middle is seen ; The first of all letters , The first of all figures , Then take up their station between . . My whole , the name of a Scriptural king Jameftoicn , D . T . MYIITLK . 2 .-CHARADE . Tho waves beat slswly to and fro , As hungry Tom cast out his line ; I m bound to have a bite this throw , Or I will fail this night to dine . An alligator gar camo long And seized the tempting morsel , Made oil with hook and line straightway To parts unknown to mortal . Tom sadly murmured , All too lato Tp meet this first , I ve come so far . Ill be revenged as sure as f ate , On more than one infernal gar . To make the best of what was left , He seized the chance to second last . The wisest course for one bereft Is prudence in their days of fast . Entire he was until the shackle He strove to rend , and not in vain . Ill got , he mused , some othertackle , And bravely try my luck again . Me...
UNKNOWN [Newspaper Article] — Farm, Field, and Fireside — 1 March 1884
co _&lt; r __ * _ -c ___ x ) __•_ - ___ DO : _ T _ SJ Original contributions and solutions arc solicited from all readers of F . UIM , FIELD AND FIBESIDE . Items of interest pertaining to Puzzledoin will be gladly received . Obsolete words must not be used . Address all communications toHE ___ . _ BE . __ , 576 Market St ., Newark , N . J .
Page 9 Advertisements Column 1 [Newspaper Article] — Farm, Field, and Fireside — 1 March 1884
From Pole to Pole ATEB S SABSAFARILLA has demonstrated its power of cure for all diseases of the blood . The Harpooner s Story . New Bedford , June 1 , 1883 . Tra . 3 . C . A TER &amp; Co . —Twenty years ago I was a hnrpooner in the North Pacific , when live others of the crew and myself were laid up with scurvy . Our bodies were bloated , gums swollen and bleeding , teeth loose , purplo blotches all over us , and eur breath seemed rotten . Take it by and large wo were pretty badly off . Ail our lime-juice waa accidentally destroyed , but the captain bad a couple dozen bottles of ATER S SARSAP-RI-LA and gave us that . Wo rccov . ered on it quicker than I have ever seen men broughtabout by any other treatment for Scurvy , and 1 re seen a good deal of it . Seeing no men lion in your Almanac of your Bar . nparilra belng goodfor scurvy , I thought you ought to know of this , and no send you the facts . Respectfully yours , RALPH Y . WINOATB . The Trooper s Experience . * Va * xe...
Page 9 Advertisements Column 2 [Newspaper Article] — Farm, Field, and Fireside — 1 March 1884
LEARN TELEGRAPHY ^_^__ . » Biffi . chance ever offered . Ad . J . D . BBOw . v . JIgr ., Sedalia , Mo 9 flT _ Hoses , Colcum Geranium ., Fuelill— - III Oi Fine Block . Send for catalogue . LOOKOUT GREENHOUSES , CHATTANOOGA , TENN nCllCIAftIC Speedily procured , telayed r CndlUllW cases completed . Fee $ 10 , not in advance . 10 years experience . Write for circular . A . W . McCormick , Cincinnati , Obio . READING AND AMUSEMENT FOB THE MILLION . —Send for catalogue of my popular cheap , publication .: mailed free to any address on application to DEWITT , Publisher , 8 . Kose St ., New lork . Mention this paper . B -Wages sum- aam mer and win- - ^ Mmf ter . Samples ^ Mr free , r ...- mr ^^^ W TlO-yT I COPYINO W Ct-IPAKY . -A . _ . ) 0 T % t } ________ Mad Uon ^__| Street , Cbl- ~^ p cago , 111 . t - _ - _ - ¦¦_¦__ -. EA _ •*_ - _ All Sold and mm ^ MaWmm . OU . AJllJS , Silver , Motto , __^____ T _ ML VeraeT ^ ClUes . Hoses , Etc ., » r l | in If l . iia-w on , 10 cents ., or with tht...
UNKNOWN [Newspaper Article] — Farm, Field, and Fireside — 1 March 1884
THE patent right suit pending between the Farmers Friend Hay Press manufactured by George Ertel &amp; Co ., of Quiney , 111 ., and the Deidrich Press , was decided by the court January 31 st , in favor of Ertel &amp; Co . IF every person * tvho is a subscriber to the FARM , FIELD AND FIBESIDE would only secure another subscriber aiid send it to us we would reach the 200 , 000 very quickly . Let all try and see what they can do . THE magnitude of such an undertaking as the publication of the FABM , FIELD AND FIBESIDE may be well illustrated by stating that were we located in a small town there would be doubts as to whether the edition could be mailed in a single month . THE question of t _ . o tariff annually comes up for consideration , the result being simply the maneuvrea of partyleaders for favorable political positions . We fear this country is too large for u uniform tariff , but as long as tariff discussion serves their _ . _ rpose politicians are happy . WE ha...
DIRT-MONEY . [Newspaper Article] — Farm, Field, and Fireside — 1 March 1884
DIRT-MONEY . A great many of the dollars gained in trade at the present time , are soiled with smut and dirt . They are not clean , bright money , representing noble endeavor or honest toil . For instance , the bill-boards in fill our great cities , stare out at the pasSer-by with great illustrations of the can can or the half nude pictures of the giddy creatures of the Black Crook . The play is ignoble , and calls up the lowest passions ; it is obscene , because it suggests so much . The audience flght for standing room , and money rolls in . This is dirt-money . The Police Gazette and its kind , by vulgar pictures , excite lascivious thoughts and the columns are a hot-bed rank with odors of prize fights , dog fights , ; cock fights and horrible crimes— an atmosphere pulsing with wantonness . Its money is dirt-money—vile vapors mixed with gutter mud . Then there are the dailies whose personal columns teem with unblushing invitations that a cannibal , if he could read between the li...
OUR EXPERIMENTAL FARM . [Newspaper Article] — Farm, Field, and Fireside — 1 March 1884
OUR EXPERIMENTAL FARM . Now Xork , Illinois , Wisconsin , M _&lt;_ iigi i . i and other States have their experimental farms , and there seems to be room for them all , and work enough for every one engaged . As our object is to elevate this journal to the highest standard of efficiency and excellence , we have considered that no better help can be given its efforts than the practical demonstrations from experiments made for the purpose of benefiting our patrons and our paper . The farm experiments will not be limited or confined to any department . Stock , crop ... machinery , and fertilizes will all receive proper attention , the results of which will be published in each issue . The farm will not only be selected in a proper location , but will be placed under the management of those whom we have already selected for the purpose , and while intending to make the experimental farm equal to any , our labors will not end there , as our motto is onward .
THE MORMON PROBLEM . [Newspaper Article] — Farm, Field, and Fireside — 1 March 1884
THE MORMON PROBLEM . The Mormons are a people leading polygamous lives , backed by an immoval religion , whose social beliefs are abhorrent to virtue and piety , who violate our laws and who defy our power . They are hostile to our interests and all attempted solutions for the solving of the Mormon problem have proven wholly ineffective . The victims of the male Mormon s lust come from tie lowest , unthinking , unquestioning classes of Europe , their marriage improving their worldly prosperity . Believing themselves right the Mormons went out of the way of our wrath , went over alkali deserts and fruitless lands , ov . v : ito 1 : &gt; h . art of the Western mountains , so far that all the busy noise of the world was hushed in their ears . Here the wandering tribe built their temple and dreamed of peace and rest . The anger of the people cooled and forgot their weak enemies and to-day , in our morning dawn of prosperity , they return a mighty host beating at our very doors ....
FACTS ABOUT PORK [Newspaper Article] — Farm, Field, and Fireside — 1 March 1884
FACTS ABOUT PORK There were ou . arm s in 1880 hogs to thenumberof 47 , 081 , 700 . The net weight of hogs annually slaughtered is 2 , 625 , 000 tons , valued at $ 393 , 750 , 000 . During the 1 ist five years we have exported about 20 % of the pork production . The pork produced in the United States equals one-half of all the world . In 1860 the total exports of porkwere $ 9 , 951 , 912 ; in 1881 , $ 104 , 660 , 065 ; in 1883 , $ 70 , 966 , 268 . Our pork exports to Great Britain have fallen off nearly one-half in three years . In value of swine , in 1882 , Iowa ranks first , Illinois second , Ohio third , Mis souri fourth , Indiana fifth . The hogproduct in a number of States is not equal to the consumption . Pork can be shipped to New York from Chicago for _ cent per pound ; to Bremen , J cent . In 1880 53 % oi all exports from western and northwestern States was pork . Our pork exports to France in 1805 was valued at $ 20 , 481 ; in 1881 , $ 4 , 987 , 673 ; in 1883 , $ 40 , 100 ...
A LETTER FROM OREGON . [Newspaper Article] — Farm, Field, and Fireside — 1 March 1884
A LETTER FROM OREGON . ME . W . V . B . Powis , —Dear Sir : —I am in constant receipt of letters forwarded to me since I left Cove asking me if I got the one thousand dollar bond . As it would take a small fortune in stamps aud stationery ( as none of the letters with one or tw » exceptions contain a stamp ) to answer them all I wish to state through the columns of the FABM , FIELD AND FIBESIDE that preferring a check to a bond , I received the check , which was duly cashed at a bank in Portland , Oregon . Eespectfully yours , CLARA MERRILL. Jan . 27 , 1884 . Albina , Oreg .
PLEASANT HOURS . [Newspaper Article] — Farm, Field, and Fireside — 1 March 1884
PLEASANT HOURS . All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy , but amusement , that combines with it some instruction , often gives more genuine pleasure than any simply meaningless game could confer . Combinations formed from any certain word afford an excellent exercise of ingenuity , and will often interest a whole household . One evening , some time since , we joined a group of six or eight gathered about a center table , all engaged in this pastime , and while each enjoyed the fun , the grandmother and youngest child were equally anxious to discover the greatest amount of words possible , in a given time . The facility with which the small boy found a surprising number of little words in Constantinople , and his occasional lapses in spelling , as in ambitious attempt he essayed big ones , provoked our merry shouts of laughter . The student , aged by sixteen venerable years , gravely dug from the past obsolete words , which we were sure couldnt be right , until he triumphantly pr...