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No Reward for Pluck. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 25 April 1885
No Reward for Pluck. ; ere is the latest story of police efficiencyl A+ small; boy-happened to be on the Falls Bridge just as another small:boy fell in. Up came a' constable. "Can you :swim, little boy?" " You bet I" replied the lad, where upon he was promptly picked up and dropped over the railings.' The boy who was thrown in: ultimately saved the boy who fell in. But the policeman?--why, they have not even promoted him I
Squibs [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 25 April 1885
There's a proverb that says you must laugh to grow fat; So its meaning to follow endeavour. If you lean on our columns it's meet you should know That you're sure to grow fatter than ever. Up north the playful alligator makes things a little lively when the residents of that extremely-hot portion`of:the Australian. continent go, iin" for, aquatic gymnastics. Some Bowen boys had a swimming-hole up the river, but they were often driven out of the wiater by a;very ungent?dmanly alligator who.came to sample them. At last they hit on a little racket to get even with him. They constructed a buoy, the exact size and shape of an every day sort of boy, filled it pretty full of nitro-glycerine, and pushed it out in the river with a long pole. Mr. Alligator came down on his daily sampling expedition, with his mouth wide open, like an overgrown rat-trap, and, without asking any question, he shut down on him like a bulldog on a shin of beef., He didn't want to take a sample, but he took the whole...
A Mistake. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 25 April 1885
A Mistake. "H ere," shouited an irate sU?scriber, rush ing into the editor's den, " what's this in your beasty old paper about, my carrying a cow hide ?" "Did the paper say, that ?" inquired the editor, throwing up his arm and dodging be hind the crook of his elbow. S-"Yes it did, and I want you, sir, to take it back. I'll have you. know, sir, I'm a law abiding citizen, and- if I've got anything against anybody, I don't .go round with a con'cealed weapon,ibut I meet him face to face." "Am-am?m am I to understand you wish me to make a retraction?" "That's just what I want, sir." "And you don't carry any hides about you?" "No, sir, I don't.;'- .:: ; . ;"VWellwhit do youcall that on your feet?" The irate subscriier looked down at big No. 181 boots, looked at the editor, took a sniff, and forgetting all about his insult, paid his subscription for another year and went out smiling. . Mr. Jones lives at St;. Kilda, Neither he nor his wife are very' smart, as will be seen by the following ...
A Message from the Sea. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 25 April 1885
A Message from the Sea. One of our reporters,' whilst. out fishing in the Bay on. Sunday,; had. his attention attracted. by a flying-fish perching itself on the bow of his dingey. The animal appeared to be perfectly tame, and allowed itself to be caught, and, on being closely examined, a document, wrapped in an Age article to keep it dry, disclosed itself. We present the con tents of this strangely-received despatch, and our readers will no doubt peruse with in terest this message from the sea. We intended to have exhibited the finny-winged messenger at our office,.but the tired traveller was in cautiously put to sleep on a plate with some mullet that had been bought for our'morn ing's meal; the company was too; high for him, and by the morning the beautiful denizen of the trackless ocean had gone still higher. 'ON THE WAY TO THE SOUDAN. (BY "A TRAyELLING CORRESPONDENT.") o Having been brooding over affairs in the Soudan: for some: time, I determined to act independrcnt of New South...
How Binks Bested the Barber. A FACT. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 25 April 1885
How Binks Bested the Barber. A FACT. E?Everybody in Laverick Wells' Spa knew little?Mr. Bousfield the barber. It wasn't so -much in the matter of cutting of hair, cut ting of wigs, and so forth that Mr. Bousfield shone pre-eminently forth. For these pur poses the populace of Laverick Wells: be stowed their allegiance rather on Mr. Cost, .of the Grand Parade, a hair-dresser of the highest order, but "little Bousfield" looked beyond " easy shaving" for the means of his daily bread. In short, if any enterpris -lug water drinker wanted to take the odds to. a soverign about his fancy for some horse' race, Mr.. Bousfield was known to be the man:tb whom: it'would be exp)dient ito go in order to carry out the transaction. The "bookies'' that paid in Laverick -Wells, might have been counted on the fiigers. 'True, there was Mr. Pipkin, Mr. Moss, and another or two who " cold get it on' for you, but in reality there was no com petition, and-little. Bousfield's connection praactiaiallyhamounted...
No Title [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 25 April 1885
rhe chosen queen of the carnival. Look at- her form, it is full of grace Look at ,the lines of her fair young face Look at her tresses which darkly float In silken clouds o'er her snow-white throat; Richly jewelled and young and fair A CARD.--To ALL WHO ARE SUFFERING rom the errors and indiscretion of youth iervorus weakness, early decay. loss of man tood, &c.;I will send a recipe that ?will cure rou, FREE OF CHARGE. This greatrenedy vas discovered by a missionary in South i~ierica. Send aself-addressedenvelope and ixpenceto prepay postage to the Rev. Joseph ; InTman,'station D, New York City, U.S.A
All we know about it. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 25 April 1885
All we know about it. A correspondent has been continually plaguing us as to the prices of wild beasts. We insert all the information we have been able to obtain : Lions and tigers are worth about £80,. leopards £20, jaguars £40, spotted tigers £250, wolves £8, black bears £12, white bears £25. An African elephant costs £60, a rhinocerous varies from £400 to £800. After hunting up the above informa. tion we informed our fighting:editor that, in consequence-of the depression in the-:wild beast market, we ihad serious ,thoughts bf getting ridiof him. We explained that we thought it iwould b much cheaper for us to have a good sound £8 ,wolf on the premises, than an expensive luxury like .a fighting editor. The wortly man was very:imuch. cut up at the suggestion, and reminded us in pathetic tones of the many fierde and vic torious struggles he had had on our behalf. We were, however, deaf to his entreaties until he artfully mentioned that it was just possible an £8 wolf inight not be su...
Advertising [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 25 April 1885
A?ny description of General lPrinting executed in First-lass Styl with Quick Despatch, and for Moderate Price, at the Office of 9 JD prtfhis Newspaper. , .6 In the Avertising Department every effort is made to satisfy customers--Special Inducements for Large Advertisements, and Low quotations for aL n
A Skilful Surgical Operation [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 25 April 1885
; Skilful Surgical Operation An American Ambassador" at Vicnna, Mr Kasson, ha?ilately;forwiarded to his iove?irn ment, an interesting account of a remarkable surgical operation, lately performed by Pro fessor Billroth, of Vienna, which, wonderful to tell, consisted in the removal of a portion of thehuman-stomach, involving nearly on, third of the organ-and, strange to say, the patichit recovered-the only successful- ope ration of--the kind ever performed. '.The disease. for which this operation. was per formed was cancer of the stomach, attended with the following symptoms-The appetite is quite poor. There is apecuniar indescrib able idistress =inthe.stomach, a feeling that has been described l s a faint " all gone" sensation; a sticky slime collects about the, teth, especially in the mornilg, accompae nied by an unpleasant taste. Food fails to satisfy this peceiliar faint sensation; but, on the contrary, it appears toaggiavate thes feeling. The eyes are sunk en, tinged with yellow;...
She had Doubts. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 25 April 1885
ise hliad Doublts "Hubby, I've just been reading how a leading EnglisQi st?~tesmain iniproved his memory." " How was it, my dear?" " Well. you see, every night when he came home to tell his wife everything he had done during the day, whom he had met, what he had said, everything he could think of. By and by he got so that he could remember everything." " Well?" "Nothing, my dear, only I thought may he you would'like to improve.your memory that wry." " Darling, do youi suspect me ?"m
Light and Healthsome [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 25 April 1885
: Though the grass~may be cut downit, wil recoverin dew time:. . . Figures that don't lie-The standing dum mies in front of a clothing store. The Man in the Iron Mask is supposed to have beeni a commercial traveller. When ignorance is bliss it is folly to ask 1 the landlady what she puts in the hash. It..It has been remarked that some-men-give' according to their means, and some accord ing to their meanness. A Collingwood street girl's answerto the ciirent conundrum : "'Will the coming man work 1" is : " He will if I get him." S"This is the unkindest cut of all," sadly said the boarder, when the landlady put the neck of a centenarian chicken on his plate. An American inventor has discovered how to make a fine quality of whisky from wood. It is no new thing, however, for a dealer to draw beer from wood, and if beer, why. note whisky ?" - " She went according to the letter," said a horseman, speaking .,.of Uralla. "What letter ?" asked a very smait young man. "Let her go l" replied th...
Portarlington. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 25 April 1885
Portarlington. S o reat has been the developtuient of the Bellarine district luring, the q fply, years, caused prin'citllly by tlhe in reasedr "attention-' given to the ctitlih,,atin nof onionns, that the wharfage spaceatPort arlhnrton has- for a constiler able tiie pnist -beenifound totally inlnleqimte foirtlhe' re q'Iemtents9 of suippers of the staple in inatr y Aecordiii.l, after much a tation ten lers were. calle,1 ,for ýýxtnqin. ianid otlie iinrovenments9 t the $tty, thlie -contract -falling "to M:ir l Keizie, "a cntlentleman nell-known as carrynsg .ont idjfferent important rgoveiment `works iThe extensionicoi sistc(l of ilnfaddltiontA Tift v'feet to thelienýth of t' le ti . vhile the ?.iIltli fo: a distance of. 500 feet was ,increased by 10 feet. M :iidwav down the jetv, a hbreakwater, 100 feet .in lenthi running at riglhtt' aidles~s ith ti?e.pie'r i. sii·o,in course of con?rilcEtion. the con tract price for the whole iorks a6nionit iinh to £,2560. '; The pilesaite- of Echuca ...
She Never Knew It. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 25 April 1885
She Never Knew- It. An ite'm :aboi?t the oyster industry in Geelong'attracted IMrs. Pugmire's attention, and she said : " Well, 1 never knew before that oysters- were industrious, or that they ever worked at all, unless it was to make up their beds. How queer it would sound to say, instead of ant,.' Go to, the oyster, thou slugger consider her ways and hIe wise; When I was a girl the ant alid honey-bee was syndicates of industry." When you get the idea, .young man, that your personal importance fills a large space in the public eye, just cut the air with your hand, tlten look for the cut, and you will see the size of the space you occupy.
He Didn't Get It. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 25 April 1885
Hie Didn't" Get It. At the door: of a surburban hat shop hangs the' sign,. 'We. block, your hat, while you wait for a shilling;" " Therein. ° entered a ;couintrymn,a=and aiiswered 'ffirimatively to the question of hat blocking. The work-was performed, and he; was asked if :he would. have anythiig 'else in the hat line. .He re; plied in the negative; but continued to. ' liang abouat' as :thoii something ias un said. At last the hatterfasked-wh.ithe ryas ?waiting for. "Waiting for that shilling," he said., He didn't.get it.,,, The painiterrdhd misplaced the comma,
A Plucky Photographer. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 25 April 1885
A Plucky. Photographer. A certain frontier town in one of the United States has been pestered for some time by one of those swaggering bullies who delight in terrifying women .and children, and inoffensive citizens. This desperado boasted that he c:ould " clean out" the whole town of single-handed. He was ac customed to'enter the stores, demand what ever caught his fancy, and threaten to shoot the proprietor if the article was not forth coming at once, emphasising his threat by flourishing a horse-pistol. One day this " flower of the plains," as he.facetiously called' himseIfý-sa~iiit~eed into a photogra pher's studio. The artist, a young man from New York, had been in the town but a very short time. ` Well, young 'un," said the bully, as he dropped carelessly into a chair, " what do you charge for pictures ?" Beg your pardoi," answered the artist, quietly, .but. I did not understand your, first remarlk. ''No? I don't: repeat. remarks, young feller," replied his visitor, pulling out...
ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 25 April 1885
ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS. ASTRON.OMER.--NO. Ven-'s is not at, present in the' milky way.' 'Like a coward, she is mak ing away to the 'Twins.'. ACTIVE asks ".What can I do: in a hurry ?" Our advice is "Nothing; or try and catchfleay' HORTICULTURIST wants to know on what he can graft a " lapsus linguce or a slip 'of the tongue." Let him - wait till parliament reas sembles, when tlhere will be plenty of flowery (s)-talks from which he can choose. PoBT.-Not sufficient interest. What matters it to the general public whether your Mary Jane has a "tip-tilted" or a " hooked nose, or takes her teeth out to brush thein', ori sends her auburn locks to the barber every week. No. Try something humorous. • MATER writes us a very exhaustive epistle about down-trodden women, and winds up by asking '" What is a married :woman's sphere?" We have consulted nearly. all the married men in the' city,'and thev'hitiesitatingly pronounce it to be a ball of darning'cottoi?. INCUBATOR.-You are quite right. W...
Fire. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 25 April 1885
Fire. There is something in the souind of a fire bell that is more destructive'to 'the reasoning powers of man than a double-back-action toothache or an aggravated case of jim-jams. A man may be talking to you as calmly and composedly as if he knew there was no here after, and the moment the rude clangor salutes his sensitive ear-presto ! away he goes! He rushes away, frantically asking, " Where's the fire?" untilhe reaches the place where confusion is ", boss." There.he is in his element. Doors and windows.are no obstacles to his entranice in the.house,;foprhe.; kicks them in or helps some other excited individual to do the same. Then notice, if you please, the tender care with which he deposits a feather bed on the ground, and the graceful abandon he exhibits in tossing a lamp out of the window. See him take' a` shower-bath without a tremor, or. climb a ladder with monkey.like celerity..? Hehas a reckless disregard for his person; just so he puts thle fire out; and by the time it ...
SWINE FARMING. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 25 April 1885
iW11NkE FARHMING. We are more and more impressed with the value of hogs.on the farm. Many farmers make their cows the main feature; the buildings aro, constructed with reference to their management, and the rotation of crops is fixed to promote the same end. ,We also have farms devoted to horse. breeding, and whole sections of country where sheep-breeding is the leading inadstry.. To make these different branches of husbaiAi' a speciality is the right course to success. In the great corn disticts of the West,h4Iogs are raised in large numbers, but we are tf6red ,o say, from observation, that it is generall%, c.rn more than care which gives the business its degree of su-. cess. Often enough corn is wasted, if not f'd with care, to fatten the entire stock. The West rn hog does not fill the entire place for which lie wa- designed. He is simply a condens.d corn crib, with a great many rat hlles This business basis may possibly answer where corn is cheap and land requires no fertilizer, ...
Cricket. BATTING AVERAGES. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 25 April 1885
1Cricket. BATTING AVERAGES. Name Z c c a A. Williams 11 15 274 2 111 21 W.H.Stephen 12 15 134 - 31 8 W. Priddle.. 6 6 22 3 f 8 J. Fanning .. 12. 16 99 ,1 26 6 F. Stephen .. 11- 15 80 1 20 6 J. Wells .. 5 6 37 - 21 6 E. Wilkinson ,9 .12 64 .1 25 5 A; Priddle .. 5 5 , 5 14 2 9 4 D. Williams 4 6 17 2 9 4 EHaynes ..ý 8 9 - BOWLING AVERAGES : Name O ' .0 J Fanning . . 799 303 24 63 4 W. H. Stephen .. 638; 203 25 35 6' F. Stephen .. 48 18 - 2 9 A. Williams .. 132 69 3 5 13: