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NOTHING SERIOUS. NO MORE EGG TRICKS. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 3 August 1917
NOTHIRN SERIOUS. NO MORE EGG TRICKS. "The Great L'Eggo," who perfarms various egg tricks in vauaeville, re cently packed his trunks and "walk ed out of the bilF' at a Chicago show owing to the high price of eggs. The illusionist breaks eighteen eggs at -every performance. There was no problem so long as he was "doing two a day." When, however, he learned that he had to appear at sev en daily "turns" he made a calcula tion, and this is what he found: Eighteen eggs a performance, mul tiplied by seven performances, totals 126 eggs; seven days' total of 882 eggs, at the equivalent of 2s 2d a dozen, equals £7 19s 3d. "L'Eggo," reckoning his weekly salary at the equivalent of £8, less 10 per cent. booking fee, found that he would thus be 15s 3d out of pocket on the week !
HIS EMPLOYER'S INTERESTS. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 3 August 1917
HIS EMPLOYER'S INTERESTS. Grown old in the service of his master and mistress, Jarvis was a privileged retainer. He was waiting at table one day, when a guest asked for a fish-fork, but the request was ignored. The hostess noticed this, and re marked in a most peremptory man ner : "Jarvis, Mrs. Nobrass hasn't a fish fork. Get her one at once !" "Madam," came the emphatic re ply, "last time Mrs. Nobrass dined here we lost a fish-fork." Jarvis has now been relegated to the garden.
District News. Beaconsfield Upper. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 3 August 1917
District News.. Beaconsfield Upper. Up to the time of writing the pre sent winter has been an exceptionally wet one. We have had so much rain that the ground has become thoroughly soaked, and work in the orchards has been in some cases delayed as the ground could not be worked. Planting this year will be very small as the cost of getting the land ready is too high. With the approach of election day, matters are beginning to take shape. Mr P. C. R. Hurditch, who is oppos &nbsp; ing the retiring member (Cr Geo. W. Martin) is, I am informed, meeting with encouragement. It is so many years since Cr Martin has had opposi tion, that the position to him must be a novel one. However, as I am one of those who believe in opposition, I hope the ratepayers will take a keen interest in the contest, and may the best man win. Many of your readers will be sorry to learn that Mrs Shorthouse, sen., is seriously ill. At the time of writing she had improved a little. Last night Chaplain-Captain...
Advertising [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 3 August 1917
For War Purposes only. A fePOSIT OF 17 6 will purchase a Certificate for £1 £4 7 ,, £5 3 15s O , , £10 £ 3 15 0 ? 50 £37 t 0 ,, , £100 £875 0 ,, ,0 £1000 Payable 3 yoarr from. date of parchae. Ceriificates are tranefertale by delivery b*ig payable to hearer, ae exempt intr. the Wealth Levy, free from Commonwealth and State Stamp Duty. Interest free of Conmomwealth and State Income Tax. Every Man Can help Win the War h? partiipatin? in the War Every Woman Saving Certificates. Every Certificata purhased Every Chi!d helps to bring victory closer. Appli?etln? tors anu d anll ,tor.tinn at .11 R.ek.. StaiKtS ingr ESake arrrtl Mm.y nl.r 1t0. '?,I ea Oyaeand benoet youVcW. Buy Cetfcate anmd be.flt 0our tooreby. CooowaLeM th. 1- "is AireauA. =ta3"a, " -- General Storekeeper and Baker. $4 P. O'e ?Hlloran, MAIN ROAD, PAKlNHAM OLD. Standard Goods. Quality Always Tells. Prices Right. [ Flour. Chaff, Bran, Pollard, Wheat. Oats, Potatoes and all kinds of Produce. Crockery and Glassware of every De...
WASTED DAY. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 10 August 1917
WASTED DAY. A plumber was called in to execute some repairs to the kitchen of a deal and dumb establishment,, and after in structing the man as to the nature of the repairs, the superintendent left him to do the job. Without a mo ment's loss of time the craftsman set to work with a will, much regretting, of course, that the attractive femin ine stadf and everybody around him could not be.talked to. .As evening and the knocking-off hour came on, the repairs having been made, the workman, shouldering his box of tools, was turning to leave, when a bonny., * bright-eyed do mestic laughingly remarked : "Well, you're the quietest plumber., we've ever had here." "Good heavens !" gasped he, al" most dropping his tools ;-"why, I' thought you were all deaf and dumb.' And as the poor fellow dejectedly de-' parted, he was overheard to mourn fully murmur, "Oh, it's to* cruel-a whole day wasted i" "If I had my life to live over ag ain I'd be a schoolmaster. Just think of having three months' vaca...
THE LONG BOW! [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 10 August 1917
THE LONG BOW ! Nothing roused the wrath and dis dain of the eminent Labour member more than bragging about luxurious living and affluence. One day a very snobbish fellow-member of the House was chatting affably, if a little con descendingly, to him, and in the course of the conversation remarked: "I was obliged to discharge my aw-second footman last week. He was continually hanging round one of the under-housemaids !" "Really ?" said the Labour mem ber. "You have my sincere sympa thy. I have just had to discharge my third groom. He was always loafing in the servants' billiard room !" A certain young man who, accord ing to all the accepted notions, should be very happy at this time, was found by a friend, the other day, with n somewhat troubled look upon his face. "What's the matter, old man ? Haven't had a tiff, have you ?" the friend inquired, "N-no," was the reply, 'accom panied by a sigh. "Fact is,'" he con tinued ift a burst of confidence, "I've been thinking over a little remar...
TAKING PRECAUTIONS. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 10 August 1917
TAKING PRECAUTIONS. Mrs. Scatterbrain was constantly bemoaning her lot. Her husband, who was entitled to place half the letters of the alphabet after his name, had the most treacherous memory in the world. He could remember nothing his wife told him, in spite of bits of string round his finger and knots in his handkerchief. Only once did Mr. Scatterbrain' remember to do his wife's bidding. Said a friend to Mrs. Scatterbrain : "I think you are getting as bad as your hubby. I° got a note from you yesterday dated a whole week ahead."' "Heavens !" ,gasped Mrs. Scatter brain, trembling with the shock. "My husband must have posted it the very day I gave it to him !"
NOT MUCH TO ASK. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 10 August 1917
NOT MUCH TO ASK. The landlady bustled up to her new lodger as -he came down to breakfast, the first morning. "Good morning, air," she wheezed. "Good-morning !" said the lodger. "I hopes you've had a good night's rest," said the landlady. "No," said the mild-mannered little man. "Your cat kept me awake." "Oh," said the landlady, tossing her head, "I suppose you're going to ask me to have the poor thing kill ed." "N-no, not exactly," said the gen tle lodger. "But would you very much mind having it tuned ?"
WISE AND OTHERWISE. IT'S INTENTIONS THAT COUNT. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 10 August 1917
WISE AND OTHERWISE. IT'S INTENTIONS THAT COUNT. Mrs. Suburbia's cook was of as de vout turn of mind, and attended church with praiseworthy regularity. But one day she came home with a look of profound gloom, on her ru bicund countenance. Mrs. Suburbia inquired the cause. "'Well, yer see, mum, when the collection plate. came round this mornin', I decided to give a penny, but afterwaeds I discovered I'd given a 'arf-crown by mistake. A 'arf-crown mum !" "Well, of course, Martha, that's a great deal for you to give," said Mrs Suburbia. "But don't feel too sorry about it. Think how much good that money may do !" Martha shook her head. "It ain't that," she said. "You can't fool the Lord. He knows I only wanted to give a penny. • He won't write- down, 'Martha gave half-a-. crown.' He'll write, 'Martha., one penny/ That two shillin's and five pence is a dead loss !"
KITCHENER FLAG. To Help Incapacitated Men. £50,000 Wanted. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 10 August 1917
KITCHENER FLAG. To Help Incapacitated Men. £50,000 Wanted. By disposing of a silk Australian flag, the organisers of the Kitchener Flag Fund hope to raise at least £50,000 for the Australian soldiers who return to these shores inlapaci tated. The flag is to be disposed of through an art union. for which tic kets will be sold at two shillings each. The winner of the flag will be in the happy position of being as sured of at least two thous;and guineas; in return for the s'iuvenir. if cash i.; desired Instead of the flag itself. Two thousand guinea', iholevc, is not the maximum va!ue of the flag. In New York Mr. P. W. Tewksbury. wItho has generously presented the silken emblem, was offered £4000 for it, but if the winner does not desire to retain possession. Mr. Edward Solo man, of Melbourne, who gave his personal guarantee at the inaugural meeting of the fund in the Melbourne Town Hall. is willing to purchase the flag from the winner for two thou sand guineas. The value of the flag i...
MARKET REPORTS. DANDENONG MARKET. Tuesday, August 7. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 10 August 1917
- MARKET REPORTS. DANDENONG MARKET. Tuesday, August 7. Alex. Sc~tt and Co., Pty. Ltd., Jos. Clarke and Co., and Adamson, Strettle and Co Pty. Ltd., conjointly report: Dairy cattle--k fair supply of all de scriptions. Milkers and springers were firmer and the demand fairly steady. The following were the principal lots: -Milkers-Messrs G. Keys two to £22 10s, P. Einsiedel seven to £22 5s, W. Hardy one at £22.5s, R. Angus one at £20, G. Wells one at £18 15s, H. Gamble one at £18 10s, J. West one at £18 5s, W. Blair one at £18 5s, J. Mickle three at £1715s, F. Sanderson one at £17 10s, W. Neil two to £17 15s, E. Higgins two to £16 15s, B. Lyons one at £16, W. Hussey. one at £16. _ Springers Messrs N. Bowman one at £15 15s, M. Bourke five to £15 10s, averaging £14 15s, J. Mickle five to £15 2s 6d, H. Webb two to £14 7s 6d, Leh. Corrigan two to £14 10s, Lat. Corrigan three to £14 5s, Kennldy Bros. five to £14 7s 6d, J. Duncan two to £13 173 6d, T. Sable berg one at £13 15s. Chopping cows ...
HOUSEHOLD HINTS. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 10 August 1917
HOUSEHOLD HINTS. A tablespoonful of glycerine in a glass of hot milk is said to give in stant relief in severe paroxysms of coughing. For the benefit of our lady readers we give them one of the best recipes we know of for plum pudding. Take three-quarters of a pound of flour, two ounces of baking -powder, two ounces of breadcrumbs, one and a half pounds of suet, two pounds of raisins, one pound of currants, 10 ounces of sugar, two ounces of sd monds, one pound of mixed candied peel, salt and spice to taste. Mix the ingredients well together. and add six eggs, well beaten, and three-quar ters of a pint of milk: Divide in two, and boil eight. hours. Pu? a pail of fresh, cold water with a slice of lemon in it in your newly painted rooms. The water should be changed every few hours, and if this is done will 'quite take away the odour. Gilt frames 'may be revived by beating up the whites of eggs with an ounce of soda., and then, after clean ing well with a dust cloth,' rubbing them over ...
Advertising [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 10 August 1917
WORKERS' CO AMPNSATION F:cE ACOCiNT. Looats by Busha Tiros Sc by L Icn2.cg ht; rii gr cc by t~:L Cc=:?c7. AGENTS WANTED. DALGETY& Co. LTD. GOnrer! At'nty for The Phoenix insures CROPS Ara. STACKS a:anlnst datam..:, by FIRE and Crops ngain:; dame-.; by HA· t STONES. Doctor: This is a ;ery sad case, sir; very sad indeed. I much regret to tell you tilhat your wife's mind is gone-completely gone." Peck: I'm not one bit surprise;. She's been giving me a piece of it every day for the last tifteen years Shares Leases. Wheat Farms - N.S. W WITH PURCHASE OPTION. Farms to lease on Shares. Close to rail, stores, banks, flour mill, schools. Good land, 24-inch rainfall. Each farm fenced and provision for water. Areas ready for plough. Early district. Box 1075 G.P.O., Sydney. Time robs the rose of its freshness - and beauty. but hIas no ffet, on the thorn except to aktl, it shl:trpr. The Union Trustee Co. of Australia Limited 8aAD OFFICN: 333 COLLINS ?T.. MILBOURNU. 2AAo tn Sydney and Bri...
DANDENONG SALE. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 10 August 1917
DANDENONG SALE. The Gippsland- and Northern Co operative Selling and Insurance Co. report-On 7th instant we held our usual weekly market at Dandenong. Fair yarding milkers and springers. Demand above last week's rater. We sold one,' Lat Corrigan, at £19 12s 6d; springers, forward to £15; backward do. £13 10s; fat cows £12 10s; store cows £9' 5s. Pigs-Good yarding, de mand easier. Baconers £4; porkers £3 5s; slips, 18s to 27s; vealers in good demand.
COOKERY UNDER DIFFICULTIES [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 10 August 1917
COOKERY UNDER DIFFICULTIES One of the best ways of cooking po tatoes was accidentally discovered by the unpunctuality of a train. When the line to St. Germain from Paris was opened, the train carried an of ficial party, for whom luncheon was provided. The meal was fixed for noon, and shortly before that hour the pota toes were put on to fry. Then came a message that the train would be delayed an hour. The potatoes were taken off the fire, but left in the pan. Now came a second message, "Train just arriving !" and the pots.toes were hurriedly put back to fry again. They. were brought in with the steak, and each chip was found to be blown out like a crisp, golden balloon. The guests were in raptures ; so was the cook. He had, without intending it, produced pommes de terre soufflees. There have been many rough-and ready methods of cookery of late un der the spur of necessity, but even the most thorough-going patriot might be expected to kick if the Tar tar method of cooking meat was ad...
Advertising [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 10 August 1917
Home-made Hair Remedy That Prom-,tes Growth and Restores Natural Color. This Ihome-made hair restorer re moves dandrluff. leacver the scalp clean and healthy, promotes growth of the hair, and restores its natural color, even though the hair has le. rcme faded and grey. It is clean. wholesome. and may be used at any time with perfect safety.. Here's the r,.cip,:-l'rocure It,(cz. of Rejuveoni ('omplnd fronn tile cheml.st. to which add iz. of Bay Itnm. Shake well to;gether; then arrl enough water to make 10oz. (!G pint) In all. A lit tle rlubbed well into the rnotrr of tlh hair every nialit will -?nun cnrnptlht,.!y restore thle natural color of the hair and renew tile growth where thin ness is showingll. Almn;t t:,ry chemist has these simple itgredtolts in stock. or youl can easily get them forr you from the wholesalers. S. It. Itenshall, Chemist. 24, ('rl: r endon-street, South Melbourne. ('mun try orders a specialty. All tat.' t American. l'renchr and Londonl Toi:et P'reparations sto...
District News. Cockatoo. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 10 August 1917
District News. Cockatoo. The usual monthly meeting of the Progress Association was held last Saturday evening. The president (Mr Lamborn) occupied the chair, and there was a very full attendance of members, some of whom travelled a good distance over very bad roads, which had been made worse by the recent heavy rains. After the usual business of the Association had been disposed of, the president introduced Mr C. P. R. Hur ditch, who is contesting the seat for the Beaconsfield Riding, which is at present held by Cr Martin. Mr Hur ditch got a cordial reception and a good hearing. During the course of his remarks the candidate said that he felt very strongly that a member of a shire council should reside in the. riding which he represented. He not only did this, but all his interests were in the district, and having plenty of time at his disposal he could assure his hearers that if he were returned he would devote his time and energies to all shire matters. He went on to say that he h...
WHY NOT GROW NUTS? [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 10 August 1917
WHY NOT GROW NUTSI A great many gardens and allot ments are bordered or divided by hedges of privet or laurel. Why not a hedge of nuts ? Nuts are quite sim ple to grow. They will flourish in light, gravelly soil, but it should be thoroughly dug over, and some hall rotted manure and leaf mould added before planting takes place. Like all fruiting subjects, nut-bus hee require to be planted very firmly, and should be set at least six feet apart. After a frost they should be looked over and pressed down again. For the first two or three- years they need no attention except for the re moval of suckers and the cutting away of weakly shoots from the base. Some knowledge is required when br dering your plants. Buy from a re liable fruit grower, and choose the Kentish cob rather than the Kentish filbert. It is very prolific, although not quite so large as the filbert. Gos fords yield well, and also very freely produce the catkins which bear the pollen for fertilising ; while Frizzled Filbert...
Beaconsfield Upper. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 10 August 1917
Beaconsfield Upper. For some time past efforts have been made to form a golf club in the district but never met with any degree of suc ces owing to the fact that it was im possible to obtain a piece of land large enough to lay out a course. This difficulty seems now to have been over come. At a meeting held a fews days ago, Mr Pitman, who has taken a keen interest in the matter, reported that he had made arrangements with several landowners to get the use of their pro- - perty and he was able to announce that a very good nine-hole course could be made, and I believe that the committee have got to work, and that,the links will be ready for play at an early date. As the Belgian training ship " L'Avenir " is in Victorian waters again, the residents are preparing to entertain the cadets. I believe that they will be in this district on the 17th and 18th, and arrangements are being made to entertain them on the evenings of thosedates. A public meeting will be held this (Wednesday) evening...