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What a Shoeblack Overheard. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 18 April 1885
What a Shoebldek Overieard.. One of the railway kings of America, who is said to be worth several million dollars,t owes his enormous wealth to a poor: shoe black. About fourteen years ago, Commo dore Vanderbilt was in a shoeblack's' place in Wall street, New Yoik. While his boots' were being polished, hli was conversing with. his son,'W. H. Vanderbilt. The little'fel-' low happened to know who his customer. was and listened' to every.' word that fell from Vanderbilt's lips. It .happened that there was enormous speculation in all khills of railway shares at the time, a?id fortunes were changing hands daily. One remark thiat 'Vanderbilt ma'le under, his breath caught the attention of the lisi tening boy. and he resolved to profit?by it. As most of the customers were stockbrokers and speculators, he' kn'ew' hle: could! sell his information at a 'good price. The next gen-. tleman who happened.to engage the boy was a rising young stockbroker. The spectacle of a shoeblack 'speaking famil...
Inquisitive. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 18 April 1885
Inquisitive. "?Ma I" queried her little six-year old son, " what's a hush 1" "A hush, dear ? What do you want to know for?" asked his puzzled:mother. " Why, when: sister Laura was speaking to 3Mr. M.ashurcus, I asked her what made her dress stick out so much behind ? She said, ' Hush !' and gave me such a pinch," said the youngster,
Strange if True. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 18 April 1885
Strange if True. We have read many curious advertisements,' lit the following announcement,xculled from' the columns of the Age, totally-eclipses all others: "At; Mrs. --'s agency, 50 good, experi enced Generals." Can it be true that at the preseit moient ous' period Victoria has at her command fifty experienced generals ? Who are they ?' Where have they served ?--are questions that naturally arise, but which remain" enigmas. We advise 'the defence department to, stir themselves up for the nonce, and hold an in quiry into the matter, and if possible obtain the services of these unknown warriors: They may not turn out such" soft goods as those that hold military sway at present. If en gaged immediately, they may .have an op portunity of distinguishing theinselves at the forthcoming review.
Old Times on the Mississippi. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 18 April 1885
Old Times on the Mississippi. I heard an old Missourian, not long ago' describing a boat-race on the Mississippi, in the good days when the cotton was king, be fore the war. " On most lines it war agin the rules to do. any racin', but the Cap'ns wouldrace all the same jes' as lively, and bilers would continue to bust and folk git killed, jes' as though it was `nat'ral cour'se of events. " When the folks would start on the trip they'd go up, one by one, to the Cap'n, an' they'd say : "' Now, Cap'n, you ain't goin' to race, air you?' "An' the Cap'n would swear that all hell should go slow 'fore he'd try; to beat so much as a flat-boat; and then the wimmen would sidle up, an' they'd say.: "'Now, Cap'n, don't race--lease don't, will you?' .. " An' the Cap'n he'd swear by the hull of Kentucky he'd never dreamed of sech a thing. '~But bimeby some'old puffer'd come along behind, an' then all the folks'd get- out :on deck and laugh at her shape. But pretty soon the other boat would sorter c...
An Office Screw. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 18 April 1885
An Offiee Screw. That the the circumlocution office and its. salaried staff of official-do-nothings is an in stitution amongst us is a well-known fact to those who have any business to do at our public offices, and the recent disclosures at some of our boards of inquiry show clearlyv that the way not to do it is still practiced as much at the present time by some, of our colonial Tite Barnacles as in the days `when Charles Dickens described so truthfully and humourously the office alluded to. Red tapeism and obstructiveness are still to hbe met with in some of our Government depart ments, and the following story, though, per haps, slightly exaggerated, may be read as an amusing instanceof colonialcircumlocution. I have only changed the names and towns, and made such slight alterations as were needed in order to prevent the discovery of the officials who have betrayed the secrets of the prison hours. Scene.-Room in the office of the rabbit busting and native bear-exterminating de-; p...
Aphorisms. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 18 April 1885
Aphorisms. The three L's are labor, leisure and luxury. O?dr imodern cooks cook the ancient out of thyme. .The man who never waits to make himself at home--Aburglar. Most horses are literary. ,When they find" any; corn amongst their chaff, they generally make an oat of it. Phosphorus is grand brain food, but it is not a good plan to suck the top of a whole match box for a first dose. In every age great minds have set them selves to solve the greatest problems which beset us in life. Where the flea hides during the day times and what becomes of the street musicians during the wet weather, has never yet been discovered.
A Mean Contributor. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 18 April 1885
A Mean Contributor. The postman recently brought a letter directed to us, but on which there was not any stamp. We reluctantly gave the post man the postage due, thinking it might con tain a subscription fee, or possibly a note from the tailor saying he had cancelled our name off his books. "It does not contain stamps," we mused, as we fumbled the letter about. At last we opened it. Ah I just as we thought, a lot of idiotic advice relative to the conducting of our paper, telling us that at least a page should be given to religious matters. And when we came to the postscript of that letter. Oh I for the pen of Carlyle to'relate our indignation. This was the P.S.--" I'm very sorry, but did not think of putting on a stamp till the letter had been posted." There's meanness with a vengeance. Take our word for it that we will adopt a different method next'time we receive an unstamped letter. Good gracious I They were standing to gether in Toorak, where the thickly cluster ing vines that c...
Latest. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 18 April 1885
Latest1 From the Secretary of State for the Horse ~lMarines to colonial Colonel in the Army. Sir,-Replying to your note, asking for active employment, I shall have much plea sure in placing you on the staff of the Com mander of the Forces in Egypt. There are already two or three thousand colonels and, generals on this particular staff, and I' do hope that when the war is over you will use your best'endeavors to dissuade your brother officers from asking for promotion, as, unless. a few hundreds of you get killed by the climate, I shall be at.my wit's end to know what to do. "Under these circumstances you will comprehend the difficulties of my posi-; tion, and I trust you will conform to my wishes, by:keeping well in front, so as to give. the Arab gunners a chance as well as-Yoir obedient servant, MUDDLER;
Sports Club. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 18 April 1885
Sports Club. The ordinary monthly meeting of the above clut was held at the council chambers on Thursday. There was a large attendance, the youthful portion ol :Queenscliff being especially Nell represented. Some accounts were passed fbr payment. In connection with £50 due to Conway and Evans, the secretary was instructed to inform them that complaints were made by players owing to defects in erection of tennis courts. The resignation of Mr Kerr as treasurer was read, and accepted with regret. The balance-sheet, as advertised, was read. The President mentioned that great credit was due to Mr Jordan for the way in which he had worked to get the £200 from the Go. vernment. Mr Jordan, in replying, congratulated the club on their present position, and said that what little he had done to further the interests of the club had been rendered willingly, and he found his reward in their position the club now occupied. The secretary read the following report The committee have much pleasure i...
A Philosopher. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 18 April 1885
A Philosopher. -" Write a social article for next week," said the managing editor to the young man who had graduated from acollege of journal ism. " Make it plain and straightforward, so that every. one can understand it. This is your first day on the paper, and as your father and I used to chop wood together I have an interest in you and hope that you will give satisfaction." This is what he wrote ; "The correction of a wrong, in the opinion of Herbert Speiicer, r i equivalent to the acihevement of a good. The human mind, divided' perhaps into -a thousand diminutive comr apartments -for indeed -the brain is, divided and subdivided, is of ideal construction not constructed after an idealic form as anything physical might be, but ideal in that its form-and indeed its precise -form is -not .known-is - imaginative or, more properly speaking, fanciful. :The mind of man begins to develop at an early age, and. indeed he is not a mai ?but only a boy when it .begins "to;develop, for look, a...
Multum in Nuce. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 18 April 1885
Miiltum in Nuice. "Brothers-in-arms," as the baby said to the "regular." A Forced March-The policeman's beat. A Feast of Lanterns-Candle-mass. Evening Dress-A night-gown. The reason so many Scotch soldiers were sent to the rescue of Gordon was because plain Sandies are the best fitted for sandy plains. "The Marines, being the only bearded men in the English army, ought to have been sent on first to beard the foe." (One of the comps. remarked whilst setting this up, that we might tell that to the marines.) "A drop in the ocean," as the fisherman said when he Ipicked up a half-empty gin bottle.
Collecting a Debt. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 18 April 1885
Collecting a Debt. Mr. 'Spiggs, of Summer street, oiws Mr. Shrimp, the grocer and. provision dealer, a bill which the latter gentleman was anxious to collect, but which, for some trivial reason, Mr. Spiggs declared he would" settle when he' was ready, and not a minute before. This saudy..independence on the part of Spiggs irritated the grocer's nature to such an extent that finally he made the bold statement to his bookkeeper that if, he di not _ mortify-Spiggs into paying that bill within thirty days he would sell out his business to him for five shillings. The next afternoon Spiggs was passing the shop on the opposite side of the street,i when Shrimp ran to the door and yelled,• "Codme in here and pay that bill of yours, and don't go sneaking down the street with your head hung down like a sheep I" Spiggs took no ,notice of this demand, which seemed only tb heighten the creditor's indignatioh. 'The followifig: dayi he saw Spiggs down town in company with a friend, when he approach...
Squibs [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 18 April 1885
Here's a 'dreadful suicide. A father, tired of chidihg, For faults his only, son at length Promised him a " hidiig." The lad, being straightway seized with dread, Rushed to his room;' and-hung his head. The dead body of a man has been found in Queensland. This is by no means extraordi nary, as people die in Queensland as well as in other places. Only this particular man, before his death, labelled himself--" Bitten by a snake." Were this system made general, it would save a:lot' of'rtroiuble in the matter of po'st m6?" ms,'inquets, &c. A whisky firmn is" advertising that their liquid is spdecially siup?liedl to the British House of Comimons. The quality of this whisky should be `tested,' as thereby might possibly bef6iiih'd sobie excuse for the recent blundes of. the British 'Cabinet. I, am not a judgeof poetry. I say this ,because a.,youthone 'day last week waylaid me and sked, ymyopinion ; on some'" lines." My, answer.o to the poet was-" Yes, my friend,. your .lines .posse...
Venice. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 18 April 1885
Venice.' . Bill Nye, in the Nero York Mercury, thus gives expression to his feeling with regard to. the Queen of the Adriatic..: . We arrived in: Venice last, evening, lati tude 45 deg. 25 min. N., longitude 12 deg. 19 min. E. Venice is the home of.the' Venetian, and also where the gondola has its nest and rears its young. It is also the headquarters for the paint known as Venetian red. They use it in painting the town on.festive occasions. This is the town where the Merchant of Venice used to do' business; and the home of Shylock, a broker; who sheared the Venetian, lamb at 'the corner -of the'Rialtdo a~d the Grand canal. He is now no more. I couldn't even find an old neighbour.near the Rialto who remembered- Shylock. - From what I cin learn of him, however; I am ledi to believe- that he "was :pretty ,close in his deals, and liked to catch a man in a tight: place and then make him squirm. Shylock; during the great panic in Venice many years ago is i said, had a chattel mortgage on ...
HOW IT IS DONE (A FACT). [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 18 April 1885
HO How IT 'Is·)1DON" 4E A :FACT).-State -Seh'odP Teaclier :' l"W istyour name ?" Young Colonial: .'! John Smith." S.S.T.: " WVhere :db youLlive 1 '?" ',.C.: "Here fOr a bit. We're going to shift." S.S.T.: ";What is your father's occupation ?" Y.C. : "What's that ?" S.S.T.: " What work does he do?" Y.C.: "He don't 1do any." S.S.T. : '' How, does he liveth?ii " Y.C.: " He eats." S.S.T.:: " Hbw does! ege?thi mbhey?; . Y.. C ' He ain't got any." S.S.T.: "But you can't get things without,?jay~g. What do you db when you can't get credit ?" Y.C.:' "We move,'"
The Sentinel. SATURDAY, APRIL 18, 1885 [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 18 April 1885
f ,ifo 0 10 ,t ...in.. .. J I ti. . ?Id"!:1 T Ii:o .ti rnh , ri v ;i.flllno'r |oi'tiw us'll 1 U ini ,I " rt i :;I'H "' ;;L. i Jonid out'o J"'! icari:ied.to at succe'ssful:issnue'a prog a'th e of ?thlti~f pot, sa.'tll ibhi lifs 'tlide a s ;o rpi iol .;ah ,o splend &lt;l '4l s noe to the public of Qnieensehliff :iidstrr?unb ili dýit?tit Ite is -tl'' iteliti??of t e ! Qourt to again ceali ate. their. aiani versa n>:assimilarlmarntiri'on i ronday;~: o i t ktr (the; pm tpose,.nd ufibsriptimonlis haive, hepn opehel mid all t'at is eiiteu now a thei assistance of tw .publich fi ,who s:elnjoymentth ?se ports:: are,:het . Iti is. to°. hopedt "that the ?ineceisaTry ,an plnt, ,w ich.! is. sno t.: a l aro e 0110 e, -sf £30, willbe lforthcoming so as ti??en able th' 'niiittce to ';rjpti1 e' i po p'rg:rammei of ,eents hiti: fa" iptizes,. t be conimpeted for on the da :e inelitiore 'he Th l uirdiy, half,.li. : dhaTyi'odemeaut iur tnigthe inter moluthsvill he initiated b .nti nuber ofi g...
Advertising [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 18 April 1885
1 T . 2: the i d.) , i fa iii'i' i) i th' diit i1 0 p:.i d ht'" ? .1 . : ?ul o'.it' ~L , , hIta' *, J~flI Af? , i, ." W6i'k ,ill i"t;' ___ .'- p ac.H er ' t - , t i .yi',e e' o ': i ie 'f ' "iti titj ies i '*R ife.s s I ATf i O \i 'Sa in .on ncoh o r. h 'o t h )elt i T toe de r "'X.:an i ed nt Her ,MA] t yi'sri dItlilSc e r 'wl'.i r b iii e us i bt lJ- ir ll:e C 0i?ies to dte o ef es in l ab e sest. t . , " L Y d , . I he " U fioanit ?i?c the : riiE'i hol'%it _. o ,S u r ea, ,,:he :in ;fa adch bis .b i , ." tlit· m at a ~ t b 6ti,.Ii , pie:!u 1y ta e .ll du ?..d ? , ly se r1 0. . o mI I .. r ,Dr;p s ,. ,r o rope Ce ,teer t .... u . 1 yehir e.n : ch , ,.s 1 1 , * `-o,: ,,;, I,;c 'h.? ;T1 a nds.au1d i r "'1i3 ?i6; 6 j,"o run t, a isri ; u 1 01 0s By" ::et. . :1'11°an a1: 4.. .. ' Curator... Tennis Curt ; "(?s .?. 0 0 a e g , U P 1iil aion 2 or e o , ill 0 B A. Pi ceras , professt' nalt ci cUc iF.e ,, . of. 5-h w 8how12 6O and b e',:e, £l6 1 Mrs 1iig pl;,rs.o ". i . Ne + . . tt ddress-...
The Miner's Partner. IN FOUR CHAPTERS.—CHAPTER I. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 18 April 1885
The,-Miner's .Partner. IN FOU R a O mHAPTEBS.-OAFTRa I.. - There was a good deal of excitement in the -mining camps at and near Flume city, which, as every mining reader knows, was prominent among the gold-diggings, and gold-washings also, of Colorado twenty years ago. A meet ing of miners was being held at the largest building in the city-a wooden shed, which called itself a restainrant, at Which there were assembled some forty or fifty men, rough-look ing, roughly-clad, and armed with revolver and knife, although no intention existed of using such weapons at this gathering. The assembly, itideed, had been called together with an object calculated to promote union and com radeship-to assist in maintaining individual rights and to support the law generally. There was a president, of course, and his dis course, if not polished, was much to the point. "I reckon," he said, after the meeting had lasted perhaps an hour, and several speeches had been made; with a good deal of shouting in ...
Police. (Before Dr Williams and Mr C. C. Simpson, J's.P.) Tuesday, 14th April. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 18 April 1885
""A w*it u L, i fKinisapllGe.PT.i?) Id! at, Str 0 1 i0 §..i pt ,u.i e yini l-v'ih ?l-1 ' ..prseqiP l .n t- Iimnjl eL' T: ,I rJ,;om the ievidence it appen iel that in the j morl ingoft the .6tli April ; tlie d(fi dlrlant wa Sfoiid in one of the holes On'the f:ce ;df the t, 31lifft. Jme nwas !' noticed ther e -by:i!ni of th!. 1J JMihers on dify· The fowd' wer.6e -af tgil f I,~s" street stated th-it siti re'l poullTr' . for ale. rAbout a qunrter of an hour befiore i Ith~efii g?un , on the, Molay she heard a ;;i ombnQ'tin.:m;ongst the fowln. and she hear, .,: fits!. Nep. t Ie t.d?V :mis;aeik the fowls,. m Jalued at, £2- 13;andl i found, some fowls deai .: 'o ni'an ,adj icdn nnb ?iet'i'ith'io t ený Saw the fowls iHi the posses?iop fof tli:llii e'and - a diasentitifi.tlkd ? t finit'if&6er ' tPermis i ,bi %dJ, I dEk . iiis. "One of j fr sale &o u nq up tha theowrlut e eote .,te.p nirn oe iowl. nCOp4 'iheivd Shne.:i:tn If.to S9l;i. ; ict.iarn case the fowls s j~l ! .t?i~she....