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From the Front. (Communicated by a Full Private.) [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 11 April 1885
From the Front. (Communicated by a Full Private.) • To-day has been fine, with, as ifr.?1 llji puts it, occasionul:°st'swiýeiirob lýI tio be re gretted that theif weather is occasionally wet, as it plays the deuce with the uniform of our trioops Ai,'the morning parade one of our pickets reported having, with the aid of a strong glass, seen the enemy eating breakfast without any knives and forks. The idea was sdouted, but this incident may appear at first blush to.liave no significance-; I only men tion it td show which way the wind blows. The sun'rosiein the East as usual, and it was sad to ,think, as the fresh breezes of the monrin ing blew ~gainst lone's face, that, no matteri how fine the weather, it would" not affecto' hinder the carnage ithat Lmust necessarily ensue. The strength of the enemy is _vari ousl~, comp~ted, Iwhilst it is generally b. lieved in camp.,th~ it doesn't number"more than a few score. ;:AAprisoner-takenifrom?the enemy asserts it is as many as.500, anda Souda...
Torpedoes [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 11 April 1885
Torpedoes "Un Ansien Offlien de Marine" has Ot forth his views in the "Nouvelle Revne," that the armor-clad ship is as e?"? t!etdly obsolete as the old three dt.i:er, and in any future war no ironclad s,. .hip shosld iventureto. iqt to sea until ,ili her opponent's torpedo boats had been destroyed.' The best type of loat, he says, is one almost invisible,.and quicker than the largest sea-going :vessels. France possesses several that have proved tliehn selves very saccessasul. (tbheorotigaºy, e presume), but should.have at.least .0. Those existiig ate registered at 46 tons, and carry coals for 1000 miles at mediunm speed. In case of need they conld steam 22 knots per hour, are armed with four torpedoes, anl cost £7000, each. Ten' res~el somewhat larger. are now being constructed.. The best type of seagoing torpedo'boat should be about 1 31ftyrless, .and about 12ft wide. She abodild be manned-by fifteen to eighteen men, should carry provisions for twelve to fifteen days, and coal for ...
The Grocer's Wooing. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 11 April 1885
The Grocer's Wooing:' The following "poem,'",byH.~ CH . :Dodge; in the Norristown ; Herald, U.S.,: ought to, secure him six months in gaol. Judging by his name and the horrible nature of the puns, he must have , suffered -from. an :,:overloaded stomach. The Herald should have offered a premium to the first one who sentin a correct solution, accompanied with Isufficient: money to pay postage and packing. ":i y dear Miss Sally Ratus," sighed:: ' The grocer on his knee; : "I canned-corn-ceive no butter,bride . ' Than youi would beef for ne. ' " ,You are a silly nran," replied The maid, "as once mace see--' "If vermicilli inan," he cried, S" I mustard-mire thee. " Fog Miss, the love you're kindling.wood Soon make me smart; oil-through , It's cinnamon to bean. no good- . , ?. Oh I do nutmeg me go.", Then with a coffee rose' sand said, "Before rice starch you might . Give me this soap-" She sugar head And, blushing, dimmed the light. ",Will I Lime afraid, of kerosene,. Of caress seen," sa...
Portarlington Races. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 11 April 1885
Portarirington. Races, . - A meeting of thefl te?ýarlds aiid committee of the Por trliln?t4l?P P??ing Club was hell at Ahe ForNsters :h;all receutly.. It. 'was r: solvdl that the annual racesshould be held on 'Thursday, 28th May, '"ad a ldst of the events is to bli drai?.up.' Oiie re; son:"int f tvor of the tiii6-of yerfor the rcesr, is. that the conrse whK i ih ipamly oa e will be improved by the heavy rains. _
A Skilful Surgical Operation [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 11 April 1885
An Amgncan inAiba dP at'Yiesnma; Mr Kasson, has.lately, foitsrded to his Govean ment, an interesting account of a remarkable surgical operation, lately performed by Pro. fessor Billroth, of Vienna, which, wonderful to tell, consisted in the removal of a portion of the human stomach, involving nearly on third~of the organ-and, strange to any, the patient recovered-the only successful ope ration of the kind ever performed. The disease for which this operation was per. formed was- cancer bf the stomach, attended with the following symptoms-The a tihatte is quite poor, There is a peculiar indescrib able distress in the stomach, a feelinig that baa been 'descrihed as a faint :" all gone" sensation; a sticky slime collects about the, teth, especially in the morning, ?ecominpe nied ly an unpleasant taste. Food fails to satisfy. this' peculiar faint sensation; but, on the'Contrary, it appears toaggiavate thed Siling The ey esalfe sunkeon, tinied with yellow; the 'hands aid feet becomes cold...
Honest Criticism. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 11 April 1885
Honest Criticism. A lady singer at the. Grand Opera in Paris, who is very beautiful, but sings very badly and thus'iaffords grester. delight to the eyes than to "the: ears of the audience, re. ceivid one morning a splendid bouquet from a constant:yisitor at the opera,, wlh osat in one of the ~front' boxes 'and had frequently shown unmistakeable 'signs 'of displeasure at her performances.. To. thie,:bouquet ,was attached a note, which ran. as.follows: "M Mademnoiselle,--At length! I am in.a posi tion to offer yon my; cordial -tribute- of un qualified approbatioi. I have become to tally deaf !.lP; r;
Curious Story of a Pearl. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 11 April 1885
Curious Story of a Pearl. Here is one of tlhose most 'curious cases, unique of its kind, that happened recently in Paris, and which the civil tribunal oftth, Seine is called :ipoi 'to decide.., I don't're member any precedent for it. "inltheýbooks." On the 8th inst., a traveller, before taking the train at the Gare Saint Lazare, went to dine in one of the numeFouhs restauraiti? in the Rue d'Amsterdam. The traveller's home is at Petit Quevilly, near. Rdouen, arid' his name is Arsene Vidal. -He fell to on his dozen of oysters and in the fourth ..one..he found a pearl of 'pretty considerableh'dimen sions. He said nothing, carefully separated the gem from .the shell, andinstead of.taking the train took a: cab to go and show his find to a friend who lives at 62, Avenue Wag-, ram, and deals -in pearls. The latter' esti mated the pearl' at.1,200f., and offered that sum for it. Vidal accepted the -ffer, and po-keted 'the' mnoney" withl a' celerity that will be easily 'understood iby all who...
A Word to Barbers. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 11 April 1885
A Word; to Barbers . After you have thoroughly soaped your customer's face, seize him by the nose and begin operations. Thi~ eableshim to breathe through his ears. In your conversation ask, as many questions as possible that require an immediate answer. Swallowing soap .don't injure a person seri ously. It is considered very unprofessional for'a barber to brush his .customer's coat. If the boy happens to be absent,' let the customer brush his own cobat. Never fail to remind a man that his head is full of dandruff.: The. tonsorial artist .who neglects this plain duty doesnt know any more about his business than a barber., ,:; , Do not think of selling your "'Egyptian Lustral " for more than five shillingi.a bottle. Affairs in Egypt arer somnewhat unsettled, and, besides, glass costs moniiy=a littler' -. If you have beien eatingionions and drink ing gin, be frank vith your customer and tell him so. Othlie?wis he may think it is a sewe'r, and bother some daily newspaper writing letters...
Dictionary and Moral Code for Daily Use. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 11 April 1885
Dictionary and Moral Code L for Daily Use. Lie-A falsehood. A very wicked thing for other folks to tell. When I do:itnmy self it is just a little fib. Can't help it some times, 'you know. Thief--One who steals things. People who steal are sent to prison. :But ifirich people take things belonging to other fdlk, we call them " kleptomaniacs,"'and feel very sorry for tliem, poor dears I '. Drunkard-An intoxicated person; like Peter the bricklayer, or Anne the washer woman. But all those stylish gentlemen at the club who can't stand upright have only been' spending a merry evening; and when -Mrs.eTiptop took a bottle oft-whisky into'her room, and took more than she thought she was taking, the doctor called it nerves. ,..Improper Conduct-Sarah Jane,atthe area, gate, flirting with her young man-; but if young Mr. Moneybags does stay a long while and gets his arm around Evelina Amelia s waist, and even kisses her,' what's the use of seeing it through the parlour door ? It's a good match, i...
People I have Known. THE PROFESSOR. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 11 April 1885
People I have Known. THE PROFESSOR. , Stories of absent-minded people are so numerous, diversified and exaggerated that doubts are entertained of the existence of an absent-minded person, and, yet they are numerous. Generals, managers, statesmen, past and present, are all notably absent minded. So it follows Ithat men of great learning, through the, presence of knowledge, have an absence of mind. The gentleman who rocked the coals on his knee, and put his baby on the fire, can have had but little regard for the. penalties of infanticide; and, again, the absence of mind which prompted a certain man to brush his hair with the looking glasst an 6look into the back of the brush, must have been: owing to the undue use of a spirituous compound. Now to my sketch. ...... We never knew him by any other name than the "Professor." What he professed to know, or, rather not to know, is a matter of mystery. He was generally habited in a :thread-bare long frock.coat,,with.just enough bdutt6ns abse...
A Pleasat Situation. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 11 April 1885
A Pleaiat Situation. Our young friend Parker 'went round the other evening .to .isithe the two Miss Smiths.; After conveising:iith'th'em fora-while, Miss Susan excused, herself for.a few moments and went up stairs. ,Presently Parker thought he heard her .coming, and'sippng :behind the door, he suiggested ??ttthe other Mi??is' .Smith sliotild tell Miss Sdsan that heohad gone. .It :was't 1M4iss Susan-it was, old Mr. Smith in his slippers. As he' entered ;he looked round, and paid t: his daughiter, ",Ah, h'i?! So Parker's gone, h'as he'? Good riddance - I was just?' comin' idown to keep my eye on him.. I hope he hasn't been proposin'to .you, Mary Jane., I don't want any such red.: headed idiot as that foolini round here.? He: hasn't got the senise of a turnipi, 'or money enough to buy soap; Hei gets none of niy daughters. I'll shake the life'out of him if I catch him here again, mind me.' Just as he concluded, 'Susan cahe' down, and~notoperceiving Parker: shes`aid " Thank goodness, he ...
Parqtiac [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 11 April 1885
Fifty tons of preserved rabbits have been shipped from Westland, New Zealand, for England. These poor animals ivill forget their rabbit-ual reticence and cry aloud, " 0 preserve us I" S.A German paper says ," Bismarck is. danc ing on a volcano." Our Irish contributor thinks he'll lava narrow escape from being blown up if he fools too 'much with the "crater.", Generally, when a man fools with the "crater,"' the " blowing' up" dosen't take place until he reaches home, we've been told. Some editors have a very happy way of expressing themselves. A Colorado editor, referring to a recent lynching,says, " There was no regular 'trial in the case of John Flanders yesterday. He had an interview in 'the woods with a few friends, and it is perfectly safe that Johni will not burgle any more." Mrs. )De Max, on returning to herhouse from a walk, went into the kitchen and said to the cook: " Matilda, I hear from the neighbors that you have been having visitors here while I was away. That: must not...
A Talk with El Mahdi. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 11 April 1885
A Talk with El I?ahdi. El Mahdi is a man of plans, as the English forces in Egypt have long ,ago learned, and every bit of news from Soudain concerning the False Prophet is of interest. The followiing comes from an Arab source, and is in the form of an interview in an Egyptian paper, published in Paris for several years, and bearing the strange name of Abou Naddara, or The Man with 8'Spec tacles. A merchant of Khartoum reports his interview with Mohammed Ahmed, El Mahdi. It will be noticed that in order to quiet the jealousies raised against him by those of the Mussulmans who feared that his assumed religious mission and title of Mahdi .or... Prophet? might .injure, the clerical authority of the Sultan, Mohammed Ahmed declares that he is only a patriot fighting for his country's independence, surrendered to the British by Tewfik, the present Khedive or Viceroy of Egypt. The Khartoum mer chant writes as follows: Having been summoned by the hero of heroes, the lioneof the valley, the ...
An Inside Lubricator. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 11 April 1885
An Inside Lubricator. Just before the New Zealand chief Ta wahio left England, an agent for a new pomade left a bottle of the compound, no doubt thinking that when the chief had used it he would, no doubt, push it on-perhaps take an agency in New Zealand. Tawahio evidently had no idea of its being sent to him as a special lubricator. He unscrewed the lid of the bottle and smelt it; the scent evidently delighted 'him, as he literally howled with pleasure. He then called for the Maori equivalent for a spoon, but a slight. delay occurring, he scooped out the pomade with the handle of a tooth brush and ate the whole of it with avidity; When: it was ex plained to him that it was not intended as a tonic, but for the hair, he appeared surprised and. rubbed his stomach to signify that. it was good,
The New Cock Robin. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 11 April 1885
The New Oock) Robin: Who fought the Mahdi ? aI,"isaid John-Bull; ";mypuurse was'so full; ;1 fought the labhdi. -: Who made him fight ? " I," said the Turk; "''twas'my hiiandiwrk; I liiade him fight." Who vexed the Turk ? " I;" said the Greek; "his land I did seek; I vexed the Turk." Who was to'blame ? ' I," said Will G.; "that" ulprit ws me ; I "played.the:Greek's game." Who'll be a peer ? '~Oi,'" said Sir Garnet; ":me jaynius did arnm it ; Oi'l be a peer." ' Who waited to see ? . "`We," said the Powers ; "what's John Bull's, is ours; we waited to see. : . Who ought topay for it ? "' ,' said the 'daily;' "my fibs sold so gaily; I ought to pay for it,"
Don't Touch It. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 11 April 1885
Don't Touoh It. An, Arab political journal, published in the vernacular, has been issued in Paris. :The Morning Star is the title under which it has star-ted:; and i1t is said to evince Aral-id tone of politics, Anyhow, helvho touches the. Morning's Tar niust expect to be "defiled The paper is ~ire to pitch into some 0ig,
EASTER ENCAMPMENT. With Our Own at Swan Island. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 11 April 1885
TEASTER«° ENCAMP With Our, Own at.S,wan . .... Island. Oii tlhe arrival of, the train; hbout 11 p.m.in on ThIirsday, 3id Apri, tih QueeIscliff i,'ynd nle cotineut fell iii uni Mijoir Hall and clCaptain Tra than, ,and,, proceeded : to :the.': camp at Swvani Islandin hleaiy michrbling order. The eamp Tas rieachell about 12.15, and first grdi mnounted at ? 10. The tents had .ibeen .,hurriedly. pitched', shortly before the' arrival of the rmeti, an'd after the 'fist nihit 'they had to be ireerected. GUARD, TURN OUT! The meny were in good spirits, and niand rhings lhvf ly dun 'the night, .which passed away withoit any incident of a wairlilkeidtuire occuringfi with the exception of the guird having to tlrn out to, #rcapture 'a barbed ,steed an aniuial ,ofIthe: Clydesdale breedl, wilich had.strayed. :.?is was gallantly done. . ITHE REVEILLE" Tlihe iiovely f the situation, and the joy ful expg??Gtion of eingg engaged with the deadly foe and seeking .the bubble repu tation in in the 'iminine...
Advertising [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 11 April 1885
P'ie dinzeoce Fos m ltponco: ANE W 'W0 ,K T ?O?N, REPRODUCTIVE ORCANS BY J, The above work is' a'popular treati e on The REPRODUCTIVE ORGANS, showing their Coistiruction, Functions, and I the 14. rangements,.to which they are litble? This little book is ono which may be p .rused with advantage by all who( -re dI'L.irous of obtaining information on a '•'ijcct which ought to form a portion of ,it. Education of the MITale sex. A k w I-.?: ge of this subject is undoubted'.of Sin.alculable value, as by it many, oj the' 1i,which afflict after life may be avol ed o' remedied. I; opies will be forwarde:l under strict Scver to any address on receipt of post ge stamps issued by any of the colonies. ,i-, : R. J. POULTON, 86 BOURKE STREET EAST, MELBOURNE. Ti. 'PHYSICIANS " of the , AUSTRALIAN i h 'Df0Alalil d SURGICAL INFIRMA RY. ' il) 1rouMITIES; 'SPECIFIC, :F MALE ?m iE ,i.'ý:;TtDise,?.es'a SPo;CALId .Y Seii?'f6i? (f'cc) 'I FiJ"T:isE on VXTALarTT'NmuvUus DELI IiTY (lti:ilisis ?a-nd !Trditment...
Family Notices [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 11 April 1885
MARRIAGE. &nbsp; &nbsp; CLARK—HUTCHINS.—On 10th March at &nbsp; St. George's Church, Queenscliff, by the Rev. H. J. Wilkinson, James Maxwell, eld- est son of James Clark, pilot, Belfast, Vic- toria, to Evelina, seventh eldest daughter of James Hutchins, farmer, Point Lonsdale. &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;