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WIT AND HUMOUR. [Newspaper Article] — Berwick Shire News and Pakenham and Cranbourne Gazette — 25 March 1914
WIT AND HUMOUR. Why is an avaricious man like one aith a short memory? Because he is always for getting. Why is it that a fishmonger is never generous? Because his business n~akes him sell-fi~sh. Eddie: "Aren't you sorry that you are an only child?" Frdldie "Oh, no; I don't min, >ut it's rough on pal" Eddie: "[owr so?" Freddio: " Well, you see, I'm getting 'oo big for him to have to take me to he clrcus, and there aren't any bonger ones in the family for him to rall back oni" The following is a translation of a public announcement which appeared recently in the principal paper of a reanl town in Alsaced:--" The Commune ,f Hirsinger -rquires a capable man 'to wind and look" after the village elock. No salary to begin with, but h 9 will seen be doubled if services srzt?fnutory." Mrs Staynthome: 'I told my cook :he other evening to go out and get things mixed for the cake I was going :o make. Mrs Gadabnoutsky: 'Did he do it' Mrs Stayathome: 'Yes, she had 'ome things mixed all Yight....
"Man Engine" Used in Cornish Mine. [Newspaper Article] — Berwick Shire News and Pakenham and Cranbourne Gazette — 25 March 1914
"Man En"gine" Used in Cornish Mine. ----+----- in t ,e of the tljine of Clornw?lnl, F.nglan;ll . a .curiotlts dlvice, ikonost S: ai "*lntn etgine." isl in use for conveyij~. the itlliers to oIIttI frout the deel, wuor kings. Net;r the llotlth of thile shalft is a ?arge walk itng-htean teit gie'. T"o the rin otf thel Ilyc hetl of this el?gile (5. tsll iso ttCllt.cd, alnd Ily lcanttll of it pivol-I oet'tlllttiotl, thre tlotion of thef "lelel is tru'tomittlll to a 'r tical liflilng r'od il the liil .?haft, as shown- i i the illtistl ation. The liftint g rodll haLs iat erticI iloc tetnt utf 12ft. At intervals *J 12ft. finletforiits are su1rported tbotht olt the lif to rodl Itld ott the site of the sh it-t, otitI the sets of It-lut fortitt tnrt- so alrtrt-tigt0, tis t to te aitt tthe ? lel at Lilt"e oit1 ati low oItionI o the rodI. Iin ni' ln.l,' th..t mii stcl).i 'iI the soo il, Ilhttforlll hlnn it is at il· suli Of the ipf?stronl, a?I is carrive . onli Jlft. Hit thenr .Stepn:iff iT n w...
No Crowding. [Newspaper Article] — Berwick Shire News and Pakenham and Cranbourne Gazette — 25 March 1914
No Crowding. 4-+-- A tirlling shammolln had a Ipar) rot, whlirh wal.s acclstoalell to illi talte his voice andl words sshcn he was addre.ssing thle crowld abouit hb? tent., aInlI alwnu ra rr±ated t1ouch amli?elllll lt bly doing so. 1n the colrse of tIllln's wanlllerinlgs th1'y 0.?tame to a fainting region, anid iere otne djlay the parryt escape;ll andi took to tlih, felds. Tll~, show tanI torganiseil a ptoses itt ten anlito lboyS, ; ttl.n wentl in llUrsuit of the figitive. .After a good dcnl of vtlill sailTrch, they hearIi a gfrvit laiour iln a tall tree o the ot i? 0edg it a wo . (t:rc?p injg uip to the plact,, they fotrill thait the pooir pilrrot wiias up in the tree, strilppedl of iilt of his lun thers, and surrollulltled hy a flock of seretininig rooks, hso were jictking at hit lit'ercilesly.' Ilo the iiidlst of it 1al the parrot was calling out, at the top of Iso, 'oice : "On at - tirlte, :.getiltlernllte I )on'ti:',rushi .-n :' peaspe T:: ;ake y?eurctine I,' There's plenty otr...
CRICKET. ASSOCIATION FINAL. KALORA PARK PREMIERS. [Newspaper Article] — Berwick Shire News and Pakenham and Cranbourne Gazette — 25 March 1914
CRICKET. ASSOCIATION FINAL, KALURA PARK PiREMIERS, The final match was con:inued and conmp:eted last Saturday after noon. Kalora Park, with 24r, con tinned to bat, and succeeded in adding z6 runs to their previous score, mt sing a total of 257. Hall, 72 not out, playe: a correct and tau.tless innings. With a leeway of 47, Clyde comnanced their stecoad innings and, bitting three m -n short (Duff, Stick and Jones) oompiled 95 runs, Harold Hunter lopping the score with 53, well IniLde rans, inclhling a neautiful isx. This letc Kalora Park 49 runs to make to win ountrighc They lost six wickets in doing so, getting 52 runs, thus winning the match'and premiership by 3 runs and 4 wickets K. Winter, r5 not out, Wauchope "Inl U Nobelius, rt etch, w-re the o.ly plavers who made double figure scores. C'yde fought out the finish with pluck and the presence of their three absentees would have probably made a great difference to the game.1 Appendel are the scores , KALORA PARK. IFirst Innings ......
KNEW A LITTLE. [Newspaper Article] — Berwick Shire News and Pakenham and Cranbourne Gazette — 25 March 1914
,KEW Vl.I.LE,. .k g.'ntle?mn' trnvclling sntme tnime lgo nskeil a llone*nr al menlclllic?alt by whom' he wns a-costel how, he lost his erm," "*It was like -.this, s.ir. The uIn.t time I went'l io 1est ~E' IraiS caugllt in n tiSlho?kl.r* , .'i?e .."orn.h-'e 5hi,, 'tent over o her bead edrl, s?, thile cdjtnl 'e ordl.rs mle anll Toln tit go out on tie yilrdTiro, to keellnul tihe bo'sprit anrd ter splie the jib. b urnrl t, tIhe miiilIlIaSl . I w1IS it hIlning ln on ti the top-gallant rat mlin., whe:n o .*.,ldellly let go hii ' 1ura. r~ml I 'mS it tl|n?i -(1 fcl9t in lhe "l' ." .11 -i ",h I. I , , 1> h,. " li ··. 1· ·1I'" ·. V l ih,.,I lh, -:· , ),'r "Ir~i'! '? ,1 Iiii''. ;wh,) their i:s ".
CORRESPONDENCE. BERWICK WATER SUPPLY. To the Editor. [Newspaper Article] — Berwick Shire News and Pakenham and Cranbourne Gazette — 25 March 1914
CORRESPONDENCE. BERWICK WA.TER SUPPLY. To the Edi cr Sr, - I have read with interest your report of the remarks of the members for the Berwick riding e a water scheme for Berwick township, which they estimate would cost about L1000, but I think that by the time they had it completed it would cost considerably more and it would be a heavy burden on the householders, there being so few and then it is only for about three months in the year that it is n, eded. If the council would supply water for the stock and general slopping the house holders would be able to manage. When there is no water avail able for stock householders have to p: ovide for them from their tanks and it is this drain upon Sthe domnestic supply that causes a shortage. As the council make a charge for grazing stock on the streets I think they should pro vise them with water. I would' suggest a scheme which I think if carried out would meet all re quirements for the. present, at a cost of a little over L100 On the cr...
THE FARM. AVAILABILITY OF FERTILISERS. [Newspaper Article] — Berwick Shire News and Pakenham and Cranbourne Gazette — 25 March 1914
THE FARM. ,\V.AII,ABILITY (OI" FI.ItRTELISERS.S The value tof a fertiliser for crops dtoes not depenlc on its tot.ll pei cntage of anltnttio ia, 1.hoslhtate of lime and I:otat.h, but tulont the per centagc of those constituents that the growing crop can utilise. This is the point tlhat a fa riner has to look at w'hen cttsitleritg the.illl cacey ofatl artificial ,annure. There are a; goodl ul.lny substances that contain a high percentage of one or the other fertilisiug rotnstitcuent but the constittlents are itn uclh an inert: forn that t?h'y afforil lIttle or no nolrishr menlt to tile crop. They "'aunulyse well," hIt are bhal fertilisers. A"glaring instance of this class of soubstance (the "Mark Lane Exprm-ss" points out) is groltnti leather. It containls a very large percentage of annutonia, Iuit ldec?lt poses so slowly that it has no right to the title "fertiliser." The plaitl asks for food and is given not ex actly a stone, hut somethling neaur ly as hard. With the preslent sys t...
No Title [Newspaper Article] — Berwick Shire News and Pakenham and Cranbourne Gazette — 25 March 1914
The return tennis match be tween the Berwick and Upper Beaconsfield teams took place on the Berwick court on Saturday last and resulted in a very easy win for the visitors, who played good tennis throughout, by 38 games. The winners were well represented by the Misses N. McLean, U. Wilson, Stoddart and Knapton, and Messrs Hur ditch, F. a'Beckett, Stoddart and Day. Berwick was represented by the Misses Vieusseux, Haines, E. Wilson and M. Whiteside, Rev. A. J. Cole, Messrs Brockle- bank, Poynter and Haines. There was a large attendance of spectators and the play was watched with much interest. Afternoon tea was provided by the ladies, and all present spent a most enjoyable time. Messrs Geo. W. Martin and Co. will hold their usual monthly market at Beaconsfield on Satur day next when they will offer stock, produce, etc. In future the market will be held on the last Saturday in each month. The proposal made at the last meeting of the council that a public meeting should be held at Beaco...
CLYDE. [Newspaper Article] — Berwick Shire News and Pakenham and Cranbourne Gazette — 25 March 1914
CLYDE. First Innings ...... 21o Second Innings. Twyford, b Nobelius ... ... xr Hunter, c Sherriff, bConquest.L. 53 Landale, c Hall, b A Winter ... 9 Lecky. c Sherriff, b A. Winter... 5 Hiardy, run out ... ... ... o licKay, c Sherriff, b Wauchpe 3 Churchill, c Nobelius, b Con quest - ... ... ... 4 Escot, not out ... ... ... o Sundries ... ....... . ... To 95 B3owling-Hal o for 23, Nobehlus r for 28. A. Winter 2 for c8, Con quest 2 for 9, .Nauchope r for o.
SHE WRITES UPSIDE-DOWN. [Newspaper Article] — Berwick Shire News and Pakenham and Cranbourne Gazette — 1 April 1914
-11? WIITES UPSID :-DOWN. After reorent ditslost;res f s.tart lingly inusual 'hildren who write 1 11'1 thin. , l s?Ie tloon, tow . trll?s he story of twelrve-year old fl irtniringhivl girl who h;as l ~htd tin unclttontrollahi imnpla_ to ",lo rhid c*- I arksrd.." I lcr *tla:lninl hIatt mola, littl* pro grets twitng to this s?irante icr ecrseness, whlich has somrtitells Inl pelled her it tritet front right to Ieft. Tlhe iolrctors colj-cturodl thlt thlrre was a tome Iphy:ioltgila I ihnrntlial iLts', and the X-rays h*l.e tlrw tiis tldserd thie swret . f the 'hitllr.is C centricitlics. Whcttl the revs 'reillp plied it, was follrllI that the heart was on the right side of the ioody. anll Ithat, other organs. incllding the bIrai, wcre Iisplai.?ll.
To the Grave by Motor-car [Newspaper Article] — Berwick Shire News and Pakenham and Cranbourne Gazette — 1 April 1914
To the Grave by Motor-car MJlotor e~.dtingls ;are io ovelttv. Iiu tie othr d|iv .. ,lltrl fuIniral I+l.iillI |+l? +?+I mlt l. c'l ti ll+ +l n? fiat hasilr Iligh I rOnll +Ll ,l at a lev! twl~le nmil,. l }hour. .ilnt wts the c'iortregI. save for on of tto? .ilduei?l touts. of tho horn. 1 I irlt mie t nh, brare,*, wlhilh wa.s ilnm rio i e frotm. a roirrei and glante,! pf.tassin.tr brt'e, i. thet in-1 trijr io ithicl ihi. ..iLk nitiin shu|ow ,it dtiyl. Behind rale ani pen cair filltd iith wrenths t ,nof 'hiti flowers ltd vio.lets. hollo:t-ing ,ere tihe .lark-te i miotior. tS i tt te zri' sin I dead-uttd gonlrn mtntorist wnts hrrie.-bi tis ianit,'ary wish. no odouht-at ': -j ics, at least conminrahble with that ditmandhe in life,.
Back to the Land. [Newspaper Article] — Berwick Shire News and Pakenham and Cranbourne Gazette — 1 April 1914
Back to the Land. -- n- -' her1o are too many dreamerrs and t hinklers. .\n°l not enough titler. of the .oil; T'here are too unnns oterr annd drinkers - hr, urse up the prductl* of toil; T'tere are too tnant boosters and t....tot?rtar. W'ith manners too easy and. hblandt : 1t?1- edrsed" with too innu " eon Holmers. We rought to go back to the lanli. There are too many getters and takers. ~And ntt, enough men who produce: Tlhere are too many broad rolling acre - , ('ntouched and untilled-out of utre: We stick where the grimte unt the grit is, And the streets with the poor arei a-swarm; We're crowded too tmuch in the citiea, We ought to go back to the farm. We've got to be workers and iploughers, Who snweat in the fields like true hmen : We've got to make use of our powers To make the land blossom again. WhaLt, me ? On a farm ? And to stay there? Well, not for a bundlle of pelf : I was trtinle to show you the ay" there. Il;tt Ifl: stick to the city myself.
THE WATCH'S WORK. [Newspaper Article] — Berwick Shire News and Pakenham and Cranbourne Gazette — 1 April 1914
S;-TIE:. WA.TC'S Wo(h.K. T"'he "work a w'atch will do in ten years is surlirisinfg. In that tlmre,. which inclldel two leap year', adcl conseqruentl' a total.' of :~*.±2 dty, the hour hand has cnde 7,:10t ilnl the 'ininute hand 87,G18l revolutions. 'The, end; of-an. avearge, minute bal d tra?vel.n over ?0,20 yards-over six mlees. 'hle rec:r ou l had:tllhlts alaile L5.2 ~3' 80a :ev'lutil el nll its ex tremgit. heas travernel on the tlial' dlstance of -:ulpwnrdls uof 12:1 ~lies.. 'lhe escalpev whel lihas slletle .-l, 18,130 raevolutions, nel, asi. it b s . fteen teeth, thas . roan.e,71883_l:-2 0,)0 timees in contact with eech idL hlet. 'ille lbailace has madle 1,777 il-,I00)') vibrition.e, and any hiecint eon the ,mt.sde ,f thee rij, ihs .ee - ere) e eh ,)I'aeece, cef le)iut) ,ld 10 ~iles, .Jnd that i.s can the teic th,' firil'l is~tel rl'lr', ,,f the? eartr h, I:t o s e I t "l:, ?,,h t,, bI·l vr~, |,. rn II... rh' '., t,: " h. +,,. 0 ta Isl' rr, ,, h,,r,+ '+it~h th *. is' , ",,hil, I...
Why We Write L. S. D. ORIGINS OF EVERYDAY SIGNS. [Newspaper Article] — Berwick Shire News and Pakenham and Cranbourne Gazette — 1 April 1914
Why We Write L. S. D. + Oftl(I:li.. nF- l;\'ElV.\AY SI(;NS. Shere aire all sorts andnl kinds of famlniliar signs which a;re often see?l in hooks and net w c spapers, sand which are fre; leuntly ulsel in writing, the i.,eanings "f shi-h ire well-knlos n, tut ..s t, how they callrlne tI be ilts.' fI.w psople are lhle to say. For instncne, money signs for ipo:nl?s, shillingss, andl pence are nl snys indiCat,.d by three letters+- . . i.-which l.riginate froml tihe i.nt tn wards libra., solidi. aid ,le narii anI w?lich man poundls, shill ing&lt;. and penIe., thel iitial letters heinlgl tak.. in eitsh -case to give tIL, sig.-n r ot ftenoseil. The ltt ters ilh. for ol undst. of weig.ht, is aite ip otIf the tirsit -.nd third let tors of the Latin wort litrue. nl the short -,-t. foir hmndred wciglht. *aod l wht. -for pe.tatywe'ight. ttte It is an alhreviatiioi of 5%eigtht tho first .ial ihst lettirs taingth ncP t elld rnh--nd th1ier is th,. l.attinu non ralt fior hui itr... trl. idl ...
PAKENHAM SHOW. [Newspaper Article] — Berwick Shire News and Pakenham and Cranbourne Gazette — 1 April 1914
PAKENHAM SHOW. The annual show of the Pak .enham and District Fruit and Hor~iciltural Society was held on Saturday last and at.racted a fairly large attendance. Despite the dryness of the season, the show was a good one, the display of fruit being very fine. In the flower section' there was also a very nice show, although not up to tha of last! year Garden and farm produce was well represented and there was competition in most of the sactions in the Domestic, Mis-I -cellaneous and Poultry classes. The show was held on the recreation reserve, where a fine large building ha; been erected! in which to display the exhibits. During the day an interesting! programme of sports was car ried through. The show was officially opened by Mr W. S. Keast, M.L.A., who complimented the society on their fine show and then went on to speak of the progress of the fruit growing industry in the district. He said it was one of the finest districts in Victoria for growing apples and he was pleased to know ...
THE GATEWAY OF THE EAST. [Newspaper Article] — Berwick Shire News and Pakenham and Cranbourne Gazette — 1 April 1914
THE GATEWAY OF THE EAST. •Twelv sfts at sen froni Birken head on the ocean highwny to, Botr ihay will see you passing th, ttounis statue of De .-s..*pe , t:icIh looks over and panat the e.m:nshac:.le huildt higs of Port Said to the entrance of the famous Suez C.'ana!, if ~Which he was, as everyone knws, the eni-. near To a Western eve, as >et tinLa- I miliar with the fascinating and" in-` congruoas East, 'Port Said offers the flr.t glimpse of Erst,ra life,. anti the condition.'s nnder wrhlch exist- cnce is maintainet tinile' hot .Usn. Ilitherto you have bcen IncCustomnt to ehimne3.s--hrce are none 'This. rierhaps. is the first thiig thait is noulted as the liner draws up to her inoorings? opposite, tih laIndirvg p'lies : the next is a habel otf voi1c4' aIlongside. sl nultnerlrs?- bIoats rush iuroas the shnort distance front the shore carringarll the otdllunettts .o humanitty who iluake a livring from the pockets of Eastern traellers. Iere they rconae : "' Aratlhs in ling blue rob...
FARM PRODUCE. [Newspaper Article] — Berwick Shire News and Pakenham and Cranbourne Gazette — 1 April 1914
FARM PRODUCE. Oats-J. R. I-Henry r, WV. John 2Cn 2 Wbite peas-J. Eilett r Dun peas--W. Saunders I Pumpkin- G, Stephenson i Catrots-G. Stephenson i Oaten hay- G. Stephenson I, T. Eves 2 Fodder, any variety - X. H. Bfoard , \V. Johnson 2 Fodder, any new variety-T. H. Eves r, I, Millace 2 Maize-S. Warren s Butter-Mrs W. Short I, Miss Mulcahy 2 Hen Lggs, white - J. Stevens i, Mrs Holdensen 2 Hen eggs, brown - Mrs E, A. Stephenson Duck eggs-T. Hone I Swedes-J. Ellet t Ham-Miss Millane a Chaft-W, Fink z, H. Worihip 2 5I: · -` Potatoes, white skin - E Mac vean x, W. Reid 2 Potatoes, red skin-W, Reid r, J. Savage 2 Potatoes. any variety-W, Reid z, H. Goween 2 Export potatoes -W, Mills r, A, fHarris 2 Onions-A L Hi:lman i, E Hill man 2 English barley-W Wadsley I
A WIFE'S DIARY OF HER HUSBAND'S TEMPER. [Newspaper Article] — Berwick Shire News and Pakenham and Cranbourne Gazette — 1 April 1914
.\ WIFE'S D[ARY OF I-ER EUS .BAND'S T3W.MPER. 3ionday.-A 'hli.! fog: no e?inr h r~zl~ih it. Tle.dlat.--Uliomyn and rery chilly ,xiieasonable. Wednsdaly.--Frasty: at timpes sharp Thiur.lnv.--Bitter cold in morning rd uoshline writh flvingl c!nrloo. Frird:lv.-Stormn in the nmorning wit: peaks of thunder: air clearer alter .i~nrrls. Saturz]ay.--enPams rof slnshineP .,t. pnrtlnl thaw: frost :iain at niiht. Sun al.? .-A light ao.th l-oo' fr it the morni ng: Otl! anl n!,-:n nt . linut,+r-_ir,: - ,,-r.e;, .?i ., + ,