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Under the Lash MORE G.P.O. ABSURDITIES. Building a Labyrinth. [Newspaper Article] — The Sunday Mirror — 5 September 1920
Under *»!&?& Uasli MORE G.P.O. ABSURDITIES. Building a Labyrinth. Who_IS responsible for the new GP.6. muddle Some time ago we showed up the disgracefully callous decision that no -warming appliances were to be allowed, and we are glad to state that our exposure has been instrumental in getting me ui-£ ter taken up by the Commonwealth Service organisations with some prospect of a reversal of the absurd decision. * ? , - , We now learn that the whole plan of the building is most unsuitable Mot many of the purposes for .wmcn Jtt is intended. It is proposed to house in the new structure not only the Post Office, but also the Pen sions, Maternity Allowance, Com monwealth Railway. Weather Bur eau, and several other small l depart, 'ments, and also probably the Elec toral and Taxation Departments, it now transpires that the genius who drafted the plans has made most inadequate provision for passage ways, etc. Several prospective oc cupants of this labyrinth have re cently ...
SOLDIER MENDICANTS. "Mirror" Protest Endorsed. [Newspaper Article] — The Sunday Mirror — 5 September 1920
SOLDIER MENDICANTS. 'Mirror' Protest Endorsed. » We are glad. to note that the R.S.L. have taken action in connec tion with the discreditable exhibi tions of returned soldier mendi cancy that are making an appear ance in the city. This matter, readers will remember, was first ven tilated in The Mirror a week or two back. ., Mr. Knowles, State Secretary of the League, brought the matter be fore the Executive last Tuesday. After referring to the case particu larly mentioned in this paper, and to another of a one-stringed-fiddle expert, he went on to say that it was disgraceful to reflect that when such an organisation as the R.SJL. existed returned men should be beg. ging on the streets. If the men iw^u *f%A -mniilA nnt .TOnrlc. then the public and the league should ?be protected and the men pat off the streets. Mr. H.S. W. Parker jnoved that the league viewed with great disfav our any returned soldier making his ? living as a mendicant, and that po wer be given to the secretary to ta...
HOW THE CLUBS STAND. East Perth Manors Premiers. [Newspaper Article] — The Sunday Mirror — 5 September 1920
HOW THE CLUBS STAND. East Perth ffinors Premiers. The results of to-day's play gives East Perth the minor premiership East Perth, East Fremantle, Perth, and Subiaco to play off for the semi finals. The positions, are: — P. W. D. L. Pts. East Perth ? 15 9 — 6 36 E. Fremantle... 15 9 — 6 36 Perth ? 15 9 — 6 36 Subiaco ? 15 7 1 7 30 West Perth .. 15 7 1 7 30 S. Fremantle ..15 3 — 12 12 By virtue of holding the best pro portional average East Perth gain the distinction over 'the other two with equal wins. Subiaco, by a better average, get in front of West Perth.
PERTH v. SUBIACO. [Newspaper Article] — The Sunday Mirror — 5 September 1920
PERTH v: SUBIACO. This match was played on the Su biaco Oval, and both teams had to fight for inclusion in the semi finals. Colins bounced the ball in a shower of rain. Morgans got the first point for Suby. Jordan marked and scored the first goal for the Reds. Steele passed to Boyland, to Limb, who equalised the score with a sixer. A, little later BaheU and Steele were only able to scona singles. Morgans by good play gam9 another point, and Sexton followeiaH with still another. Hewson TnarkfjM and Walters saved, when the'quain ter ended:— il Subiaco, 1—5. |B Perth, 1—1. ' '*m Goal-kickers: Subiaco — Limb|l Perth — Jordan. V|M On the change of ends A. Watjgfl sent to Jordan, and Giese scored |8 point. Evans collared from Hewbjfl and put the Reds ahead with a goon goal. Outridge handballed well ill Bushell, but frees were too frequemfl for good play. The umpire madjfl several errors in trying to give-jlfl free first to one side and then tin other. Subica were playing tin best game, bu...
EAST PERTH v. WEST PERTH. Played at Perth OvaL [Newspaper Article] — The Sunday Mirror — 5 September 1920
EAST PERTH v. WEST PERTH. Played at Perth OvaL There was a fair crowd at Lotbn's Park to witness this match, despite the drizzling rain. When the down pour temporarily ceased' the play became more interesting, and it was not long before the local men had Tepisterp.fi a V»r«rv» /if nninfa: From a series of brilliant passes Craig scored a goal, and a minute later a mark by the same player and a pass to* W. Wimbridge produc-' ed the second mximum. These scores seemed to awaken Easts, for' they put on a brilliant spurt, and Harrold snapped the first score for East Perth— a goal. Quarter-time scores: — East Perth, 1—3. West. Perth, 2—0. The second term commenced in sunshine, and Easts pressed. Boyd relieved, but the Royal Blues were not to be denied, and Yepp notched another goal. A point was soon added by Morgans (a new man in League football) and East Perth was now leading. Yepp marked in front, but foolishly attempted to pass, and lost. Through Bowtell and and Duffey Gepp took posses ...
Pussyfoot Johnson A One-eyed Wowser "Pussyfoot's eye Will make Englvnr. "Pussyfoot's eye, Will make England dry." [Newspaper Article] — The Sunday Mirror — 5 September 1920
Pussyfoot Johnson A One-eyed Wowser. 'Pussyfoot's eye, Will make England dry.' So ran a slogan, conspicuously dis. played on a large banner, at a meet ing held in the United States of America to welcome the head serang of the water waggon brigade back to 'Gawd's Own Country.' ' It is some little time now since a blatant sinbuster, William E. Johnson, to wit, lobbed in England, posing as a regenerated Crusader, his object being to chase every par tide of John Barleycorn, from smells to morning afters, out of the United Kingdom. _ At one time, the Wowseristic Wil liam E. was a sooler. He was em ployed by the U.S. Government to nose around his 'little red brothers' on the Indian reservations, to see if the squaws had any bottles of moonshine concealed down their stockings. His methods of detect ing evaders of Untie Sam's Law'n* order, earned him the rather appro priate sobriquet of 'Pussyfoot,' which has stuck to- him ever since. At one of 'Pussyfoot's' meetings, held in London, his re...
STIRLING STREET STRUMPET. PLEADS REDUCED AD ABSURDEM Story Won't Wash—With victimised Ratepayers—Whose Protest will be REcorded—When Elections Comd Round—In Form of Solid Vote—For Clean, Keen and Evergreen Democrat— [Newspaper Article] — The Sunday Mirror — 5 September 1920
STIRLING STREET STRUMPET. PLEADS &EDUCTXO AD ABSURDEM. Story Won't Wash— With Victimised Ratepayers— Whose Protest Will Be Recorded— When Elections Come Round— in Form of Solid Vote— For Clean, Keen, and Evergreen .Democrat — Ex- Senator Needham. . ♦ Our fallen sister of Stirling-street,, in her efforts tb extricate herself and her political proteges from the unenviable entanglement that their little deal in second-hand machinery has involved, is driven to desperate measures. She represents herself as a much-maligned lady; her charac tex. she avers, is not spotted in nearly so many places as her detrac tors suggest, and this latest affair isn't nearly so bad as her accusers would haye. Indeed, reading her 'explanation' of last Sunday, we were forcibly reminded of Doll Tear sheets protestations when vulgar persons dared impugn her honour. ; 'I know I'm a thief, a vagrant, and an abandoned woman, . Mistress Quickly, but I defy you to say black's the white of my eye,' as that s...
A Touching Incident [Newspaper Article] — The Sunday Mirror — 5 September 1920
A Touching Incident Extract from Hansard, No. 32, 26th. August, 1920.— Departure of Prince of Wales: Accident to the Prime Minister: Mr. Riley: Has the Minister for the Navy had wireless communication from the Renown respecting the accident in Sydney Harbour- yesterday, when a launch on board of which was the Prime Minister, bumped that vessel? I wish to know if the Renown has been damaged. Sir Joseph' Cook: Any damage done to the Renown will be made good. Mr' Rtley: And if injury was caused to the Prime Minister and his- secretary, s. who, I understand, were thrown' on their backs? ils the Renown still seaworthy, notwithstanding the at tempt of the Prime Minister to pre vent her from going to sea? Mr. Laird Smith: I have no information about the matters regarding which the honourable member asks. (We understand the Renown goi away ?? safely after all.) ' '' -. '
Theodore of Queensland. THE WORLD'S YOUNGEST PREMIER AND A GREAT AUSTRALIAN. [Newspaper Article] — The Sunday Mirror — 5 September 1920
Theodore of Queensland. THE WORLD'S YOUNGEST PREMIER AND A GREAT AUSTRALIAN. Mr. E. C. Theodore, who is pass ing through this State on his way home to Queensland after a visit to England, is the youngest Premier in the world. He was born in Port Adelaide just 35 years ago. He was over in this State in his 'teens working on the Murchison fields, and from there . he travelled East, working in the mines of Tar» coola and' Broken Hill, and, so to Queensland in his very, early twen ties. In the State for which he has done so much Mr. Theodore toiled for some years in the Northern tin mines-rin 1909 he was elected to Parliament as Labour Member for Woothakata (which he still repre sents with the changed name of Chilligoe). He was appointed De puty Leader of the Party shortly after his election, and on Labour obtaining power in 1915 was elected Treasurer, and assumed the office of Premier in 1919. Mr.- Theodore was pestered by a' Mirror man in due course. But without a full knowledge of Qu...
THE 9,000 BULLETS INTENDED FOB AUSTRALIAN PATRIOTS. FULL REPORT OF DEBATE IN FEDERAL PARLIAMENT [Newspaper Article] — The Sunday Mirror — 5 September 1920
THE 9,000 BULLETS INTENDED FOR AUSTRALIAN PATRIOTS. FULL REPORT OF DEBATE IN FEDERAL PARLIAMENT. Following is extracted from 'Han- sard': — Mr. Ryan: I ask the Assistant Minister for Defence if it is a fact that Military Forces from Queens cliff and Swan Island were sent to Melbourne, with large quantities of ammunition, and under arms, in or der to be used, if necessary in con, nection with a meeting which it was proposed to hold in Melbourne on the 28th. July last Major-Gener.il Sir Granville Ryrie: Knowing what is in the honourable member's mind, I refuse to give him information on the subject. Mr. Ryan: In view of the very discourteous answer just given to me by his colleague, I ask for the opinion of the Acting Leader of the Government on the matter. I have been reliably informed that military forces stationed at Queens rliff anH Swan Island were sent to Melbourne by .boat, with 9,000 rounds of ball ammunition1, and under arms, in order to be used in connection with a meeting w...
THEY SAY [Newspaper Article] — The Sunday Mirror — 5 September 1920
THEY SAY— Annual sale now going on. Don't go elsewhere to be cheated— come in here. A lady wants to sell her piano, as she is going abroad in a strong iron frame. Wanted. — Experienced nurse for bottled baby. Furnished apartments suitable for gentleman with folding doors. Wanted. — A room for two gentle men about thirty feet long and twenty feet broad. A boy wanted who can open oys ters with a reference.
Pars—Ptingent and Polite [Newspaper Article] — The Sunday Mirror — 5 September 1920
Pars — Pungent and Polite Pro Bono Publico (we don't think) :— After some discussion, the City Council adopted a recommendation by the Electricity and Gas Commit tee that, from November 1 next, peyment of accounts for gas and electricity at the Town Hall should be discontinued, all the accounts to be paid at the department's offices in Murray-street. f Very easy, Messrs. Councillors, for you to adopt, but a d — d sight har der for busy men to comply with. A significant confession crept in to the Boss' cables last week, when it .was admitted that the military gang were responsible for Japan's isolation. Get this: — Tokio. Aug. 28. Professor Anaski, the famous in ternationalist, in an interview to day, stated: 'Japan is now isolated from the rest of the world, and the United States, China, Siberia, and Korea is making Japan's position .difficult. The Japanese militadists are responsible for this ill-feeling, which is also in evidence in- Britain and France. . Japan will be unable to i...
COMMENTS ON THE RUNNING AT CANNING. [Newspaper Article] — The Sunday Mirror — 5 September 1920
COMMENTS ON THE RUNNING AT CANNING. (Rv 'Cricklewood. Tun.') There was a fair attendance at Canning yesterday afternoon. A heavy shower of rain fell after the third race, but the remainder of the day was fine. Baribwerie and Captain Alcock de clined their engagement in the Mad dington Hurdles, for which there were six runners. Silent Tom was made a five to two favourite, with threes on offer about Yarrandale and Loch Sure. The winner, Miarnui starting at fives and Good Turn tens. Silent Tom made the pace a 'cracker' for a while, but before reaching the -turn for home Loch Sure cut him down, when Miarnui came on the scene, and won easily by half a length, Loch Sure beating Yarrandale by four lengths. Old Warambie was fourth. Seven was the main for the First Class Plate (Gold Coin and Kilmaine being scratched). Saint Humphrey, after the way he was handled by Whelan last Saturday, was looked upon as a good thing, and was sent out a warm facourite at 7 to 4. He was again ridden a bad ra...
Racing Comments' BOULDER. WIRE FROM "CRICKLEWOOD." BOULDER NEWMARKET. "Mirror" Special. [Newspaper Article] — The Sunday Mirror — 5 September 1920
Racing Comments' BOULDER. WIRE FROM 'CRICKLEWOOD.' BOULDER NEWMARKET. 'Mirror' Special. The majority of sportsmen gave vent ' to their feelings when they found out Bardus was scratched for the Boulder' Cup on Thursday, cor* sideline he was well backed both straight out and for. doubles. The weather was ideal, and the splendid attenance was in a free spending mood. In the Ivanhoe Handicap (Fourth Division) Kappa started favourite at fours, and never looked to hav2 a chance from barrier rise. Kiltar tan was next in demand ap sixes, and ran last for the greater part of the journey. Mingulite, with Leonard up, made the running to half distance, when Mystical Rose and Woolabar tackled the^rey. It was a great race to the winning post, Woolabar wining by half a head, with Mingulite and Mystical Rose dead heat second. Molly Ayrville was fourth. Green Tea and Mysti cal Rose were quoted at eights, with others from tens to 33/s. The last ?three to finish were Kiltartan, Car auna, and Eoma. . S...
How They Kiss [Newspaper Article] — The Sunday Mirror — 5 September 1920
How They Kiss The Perth girl bows her stately head, And fixes her slylish lips, In a firm, hard way, and lets them go In gurgling little sips. The Fremantle girl has never a fear, ' And seldom tarries to coo, But passes them on from ear to ear, As large as a wooden shoe. The Midland girl writes poems on Death, And languidly cries to the moon, When you ask for a kiss, to make it bliss, She falls in a deadly swoon. , The Cottesloe girl has a hunted look, Like the timid, hounded hare, She opens her mouth and arranges her lips, And generally gets her shart. The Goldfields girl gets a movs on lierself, As she quickly removes her hat, And she swoops on her prize in a frenzied way, Like a terrier seizing a rat. The Suby girl, so nice and sweet, Lets her lips meet the coming kiss, With rapturous warmth, while her youthful soul That echoes among the hills. The Gisnells girl comes at it slow, With her mouth all puckers and frills, But she lets it go with -a' bursting smack, Floats away on a s...
OUR POYS PIG PLUB. Answers to Correspondents. [Newspaper Article] — The Sunday Mirror — 5 September 1920
OUR POYS PIG PLUB. Answers to Correspondents. Geo. Hiscox: Your application 'forms are quite in order, and we have pleasure in enrolling your name on %ur list. Bill Gumbleton: The necessary papers have been sent you by post. John Wren, Melbourne: Your name is now. registered on our mem bership roll, and you will hear from us in due course. PADRIC LYNCHEM. The Finest Irishman we ever knew. Dr. Officer: We hope you receive the forms safely. T. Tracey advises us that his club sow has had a litter of 3 sows and 3 boars', -and that they are all doing well. Pickering Brook, M.L.A.: Thanks for the application form. We are writing you by this mail. * Jmmy Mitchell: Note that your sow had a litter of 5 sows and 1 boar, and hope they make satisfac tory progress. IE..' 2atomuH,Flgi!Tti:Siwi ?
PURSUED BY PERIS. The Adventures of a Barmaid. [Newspaper Article] — The Sunday Mirror — 5 September 1920
PURSUED BY PERIS. The Adventures of a Barmaid. Right in the heart of the city of Molijont stands the 'Three Nuns Hotel,' where, until recently, Miss Perlie Primrose acted as barmaid. But she loneed for free life and free air instead of free beer. So she left the hotel, at first* it was believed she had gone to study physical cul ture ; until it was discovered that the valliant Shimmy Lather had snatched her in a motor car as a brand from the burning. Last week at the Local Court Mr. Nich. Bung-Bang, licensee of the Three Tuns, sued Miss Primrose for breach of contract. The case was taken up savagely by the the United Kingdomoome Temperance Union, who insisted on Miss Primrose's right to get away from the cursed derink, particularly as the beer rotted her boots. It was alleged to be a shocking thing that a girl should not be allowed to leave when she liked, and showed the influence of Bolshevism in our midst. We understand1 that the young lady is living in a dug-out at Yan chep. ? ? ...
CURSE AND PURSE To a Rhyming Shyster. [Newspaper Article] — The Sunday Mirror — 5 September 1920
CURSE AND PURSE. To a Rhyming Shyster. JDry as dust done dreary,. Poet of a circle beery, Here's a hit at him: He's a dirty rotten liar, And his pen is let for hire — Its biz With him to sell his soul. For his weekly pinch-gut dole He splashes mud and dirt From the slimy little squirt Called HIS brain. He thinks it's just the thing To turn his tail and sting; He's a microbe in the air — That, I'll take an oath and swear. In some drain You'll find him snoozing now, Foul as a&y heathen chow. Well! Its ever just the way When a rhymer goes' astray And sells himself for pay He finds the entrails of his rhyme In the sewer and its slime. - ? Q.C. When ever you see 'squirt' jour nals whooping for Lenin's blood, spewing up 'gnashinal' piffle, and throwing verbal mud at everything and everybody of. the workers you can bet your last* thrum that Ger man money is the principal compo nent of the newspaper pimps' pois on gas. The Escape from Hell OUR ADMIRER'S GIFT.