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Good Thoughts. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 28 March 1885
It idestroys the: thread of life if'wild oats are sowed with it. . ' The silence of the wise is golden," but the utterance of the fool is brass. The' plant of happiness caninot thrive with out the air of cheerfulhess. One little trouble, like an only son, will;i soon rulethe man who nurses it. It is along road, paved with hope, between what you expect 'and what you get. Be wise with speed;' 1A fool at forty is a fool indeed. The cup of life is filled with punch. Youth furnishes the spirits, middle, age thesugari and old age the acid.' Ice is furnished by' 'the men who ehdorse notes.' Pleasure is a ;silkin cord "composed of ex quisite cobwebs, and. floods of rich sunshine give it a beautiful hue. 1)utyis agolden. rope, which, once thrown over our necks, leads' us° unwillinigly where pleasure is obliged to follow. A vain man'simotto is : " Win gold and, wear it ;': ,agenerous .man's :'' W\Vi gold and share it;" a uiiser's : " Win gold and spare it;" ' pr6fligate's " Win gold and spend...
A Poor(k) Speculation. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 28 March 1885
A Poor(k) Speculation. : Pigjobber " wants to kinow " whether the proprietors of :the' herd of swine that committed suicide by drowning-(mentioned in the N. T.) ever received any compensation from the proper quarter for tee loss of their stock! SThere is "no official record of any re-im bursemennt for the severe loss sustained; but if you had: read your 'PaleStiie Pulveriser' regularly, you would have leaned that ithie sequel to the celebrated pig yarn was as fol lows :-Mr. Legion-after he had recovered his spirits-n-ot the same kind as those he had recently., been relieved of-thought he saw money in the catastrophe,' and forth with hied' him away to a Hebraic pork butche--Judas Anauias Lazarus by name doing business in :a small way at No. XIV, High street,' Gadaa;,' Co. Decapolis, Pal.; ahd that same night-having procured the necessary apparatus-includiug a loan 'of the Humane.Society's drags-succeeded in ret 'covering the greater portion of the'carcases- carted them home, and cure...
He had Seen it Often. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 28 March 1885
H e had Seen it Often. '. Don't you want to see the elephant in the cipus tliat hgs so much intelligence Al said a gentleman'to an intelligeriflittlebioy' "He cari draw the cork out of a bottle, put the ueck of it in.his 6nouth, and empty it down his-throat " 0;[? 'If Ithat'' all lie can do, I don't care to see hinm M'y pa candb that. I've,seen him-do it moreithan "a dozen times wmi' iid 't"out fishing" .. , It may be remarked incidentally that the room was full of company, and the father himself was present, and listened to the childish prattle of ;ik little boy. 1. 1.
A Payneful Incident. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 28 March 1885
A-, Payneful Incident.:' Mr.IW., V. Payne was' for inianyyears a worthy and excellent:teacheroffmusic in the ,suburbs. Whenquite a young man ihewas Yteleiii a singing class. One member, of the; class was a lovely' young lady, of ,about .twenty: years,'" b-y'; the ,!iaie' of Patience ;Adams. ,, M.lrPayne was very much attracted 'by the young lady, and in, d~uetime, as ;the attraction was mutual, they became engaged. SoO?d after the time when his, attention to Miss Adams began to be observed, and ain en. gagement strongly suspected, it happened on a: singing night, when a full.number was in attendance, thati Mr. Payne, ;,withoii% any thio'ight of words, named' for ?theopening exer'ise' page'73 bf'" Cirmi'ina Sacra. ' As both-Miss'Adamn a'nd'ir. Payne were pinme favorites r with all :present lit will'bb hiider stood .with what .good will they all sang , ., See gentoe ' gtiance,sinileiohipain;!; :l e See d3?ing hopes revive again"', ,The grayity,, of theiyqunpgladies and gentle men coul...
SORRENTO. Banquet to Councillor Anderson, J.P. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 28 March 1885
SORRENTO. Banquet to Councillor Ander son, J.P. Tlie above was held at the Mechanics' Institute, Sorrento. on Saturday last. About GO gentlemen sat down,. The ibaiqlet i;s:i ihid, -in a st?le whichu reflected lgreat credit on the purveyor, Mr :Ciriniclutiel,.and the room, which ihaid ,een .tastefully decorated by llr Craig, looked very attractive. -. Mr Coppin occupied the chiarn and amonirst .the guests were the Prenmir andll the Attorney-General. After tle nsual loyal toasts hadil been disposed. of. M1r. Service in.responding on :behalf of the Minstty said that althntigh lie had attended as a private idtlividiual to do honour to an old residelit .n(d councillor for the district lie eo'.nll not refrain from expressitng the p'leasure he} felt in acknowledging the to ist that had been so enthusiastically received. In referring, to the action of the' Minstry he night say they Ihad shown and carried aont imore practical legislation than the thiree.'previous.Parliaments, and in con nect...
Advertising [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 28 March 1885
NOW B3AZT. rloe Sizpo? oe, 0 y Post zighftpoae. S.AN. W WOR K ON REPRODUCTIVE ORCANS' S:BY - R. J. POULTON. The above work is a po ular treatise on The REPRODUCTIVE ORGANS, showing -their Construction, Funotions, and the 'Derangements to which they are lin'le. This lttleo book is one wiiich may be perused with advantago by all who are esirous of obtaining information on a Subject which ought to form a portion of the Education of the Male .ox. A ku 1w ledge of this subject is undoubtedly of . noaloulablo value, as by it many of the Sill which afflict after life may be avoi oed or remedied. !:* Copies will bo forwardo' under strict cover to any address on receipt ot postge stamps issued by any of the colonies. R. J. POULTON, S186 BOURKE STREET EAT,' MELBOURNE. , Consult . The YPHTSlCIANS: of the AUSTRALIAN 'MED[CAL and SURGICAL INFIRMARY. DEFORMITIES, SPECIFIC, CEMALE and NER vous Diseases a SPECIALITY: Send foi(free) S TREATISE on VITALITY, NERVOUS DEBILITY S.(Diagnosis and : Treatme...
Why He Did It. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 28 March 1885
o: ,WhySRHeJDid It. .. "Why did'the boystandi1pn .t?e burning deck??P asked ~ht teacher of'hercl'ass. ," Cause 'he didn't want the euciiit deck to bu:n," said the boy. 1 : "I am not talking about thb'cards.', I'am talking about the deck of a ship.- Next boy; *hy did the boy stand on the burning deck ?" "'Cause he had a boil and couldn't sit down."
Fine Gold. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 28 March 1885
i A.French' authority states'that carrots give horses new blood, whielit seim?''too restore them, and they mayb;;e justly claimed as the regenerator of,,worn-out,horseq,,i WVe know a hiorsethat dosen't wnt 'any regenerating; if he did he ~i6ld'paniout .twenty-four carats :fide-his famle:isj ommioitin' 111
Facetiae. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 28 March 1885
.? - "I ?+"'' ,Wha sJit"the seer'ad what, by the way, was it made the see sor'c ? Husband.-" O.ne of 'ithese days I shall .?se 5 i my temper. with: you.l",'' Wife.-" Pray, Heavens,'youl l'd6" it s'ooi, nd not find it again ! s. 1" You'll excuser m," said our manager to th e'iilkm'it, wi`th hom lie had been having a long; discussioi , "but your arguments are very unlike,.rour-milk-+ ý;,How's that ?" A toper followed his wife's remains to the Ballarat Cemetery. Kind, friends tried to comfort him. "Poooriwoman," he -said be it ethissos 6? ',;°",it's the'first time We've, been-togethr without'quarrelling." Ohdear," ywaed'ourittle boy, after he had r etiirned from church; "I don't wonder the world is so full of wickedness." " Why' sol?".asked the a:stbnished mother. "'Cause God;.pickedi out such' a tedious.day for Sun day.". "How do you feel regarding the Christian religion 11i asked an interviewer of our rich but, very, cautious proprieto.u "Well--er," he1,hesitated,, not knowing' hht m...
An Aristocratic Railway Guard. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 28 March 1885
AnAristoeratie Railiay Guard.ý It is not generally known that ,the- late Lord Lauderdale, before he sicceede4d o the title, was, a 'rilwiy gard'oit the L don and a North-iecstcr`nlii'ea'ltlitrui he wsiv not the only gentleman guard in the company's employ, yet he was well known. to the directorýand,managers.foi a certfin grace of carriage and easy nianner in h;ndig ladies. in and out of thietraiii )olifely. ''Aiemade a great point of always wearinggloves 'and ,of. paying generally considerable attention to, his sartorial embellishments. .jwe: are sorry to add that he was more than once brought before the notice-of-the managers for a grave, breach of regulations -that of starting his tiain before receivin 'eitheri the station master's word or the signal that the line was clearz-for which 'mnisdemeaiiour hlie mana gers, like true: citizens, making'it as nothing that hli was "related to a peer," severely reprimanded him. But lie is not the only one of our present nobility who has had t...
Cremated. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 28 March 1885
'Tis said a number of farmers h?ae antely been victimised bye, a fiin carrying on bus[ ness in the milk trade. Full. details can be found in-the oIcal Churn-als.a T':i aTair has created so much. constcrnatiobp asi:tb pretty welT'turiithe milk paill. The victims ,are in a regular quan-dairy, aild dre oriyLto be soothed by a promise that the swindlers shall becrean .ated.'J .2.
Aesthetic. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 28 March 1885
A fpoetical ' yoingH ) d y obtained the 1other . lay the ;desire of he h'da??'Citshe met our Poet iLaureate, at dinner, -and the sympathetic hostess) even arranged that she should be placed.next to him. One remark, and onealone, did, the .poet, addred to the gushing maiden, at his. sidej and it was this: " I' like ,my iton wedges."'
The War. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 28 March 1885
T.he. Wa r. : The signal's hoisted; The cannons roar; The Gatliigs raitle; And sweep-the shore. The shells are lursting. r . With faintreply The foe down tumble;, Thie niggers die. Such fire, such fury I , Such'smoke'giidflaine How shall we take it, With prideor shame? Whly 'did theydare us ? S Why make us fight ? Why brave the terrors Of Britain's might? . Why did they dare'us? . Row should:thei fear Have we not yielded Till all might jeer ? , rWa't not o uir meekness' Thit led theni oni ?f Did not the' worlm think Orii spirit gone ? In the days byg;one A word.had done Whlat-we have compassed With ship and gun. We've tested our sailors Our soldiers tried ; But in our slow glory Who feels much pride?
OIL YOUR AXLES. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 28 March 1885
OIL YOUR AXLES; A' well:nirde :waggon wheel will endure constant wear fromten.to tiventy-five years,. if; care' is take't to 'u6 the right kind and proper amount of grease, but if this matter is not attended to it will be&dsed up in five or six years. Lard should never be used on aowagon, for it will- penetrate the hub and work its' way ardund the tenons of the spokes and wheel.' Tallow is the best lubricator for; wooden-.axle.trees and castor oil for. iron: hubs, but, many of the present axlegreases; are also excellent, and have the, merit of l?eiig: cheaper and easier to handle. Just: grease': enough-"should be, applied to, the spindle of a wagon' to give it a slight coating. Thisis better thani more, for the surplus put: on will work out at,the ends and be forced, by' the shoulder bands and: nut-washer, into the-hub'aroatdhthe outside of.the boxes. To 'oili an iron' axle-tree, first 'wpe the spindle clean, with a pIece of cloth wet with,spirits of turpentine, and then app...
Prince Bismarck as a Poet. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 28 March 1885
Prince Bismarok as a Poet.: Per favor of a friend in the" polony "'line, We have' received the three. following verses from Prince Bismruck: Few who have. watched the career of the Man of Blood and; .Iron could imagine.that a vein of trfe' poetry p'ulsed befieath that granite exterior. ;But these verses will prove that the vein is there. 'Tlihy are in. Euglish,..with a, slight German flavor, as will be seen in the confsison of genders:-.. Vorwarts ! TheGermafi marches on! , Where'er-let all men know ! The German sausage She has gone,- . The German arms hill`.o. ;: J The Australischen lofe me not, S: a~:ioneerr fat and wise, If It comes hcre.It gets--Ach Gott !- Free lager,till It dies. The good &td. Gladsfone It may plod, Von6h Derby 'It may prte; I play my game aud ,trust in Got, Potztjusend Teufels, wait I " 4..y-n?.
It's the Same. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 28 March 1885
It's the Same. The father of a young amateur horse doctor who was a clergyman in an up-country town had been made a present of. a,horse by his parishioners. The parson was greatly de lighted..:'Thc -peoplc; had paid a good pride for the horse, and the old gentleman was anxious t' have tlie judgment of his son:on. the animal. Taking him into the stable, he asked the youth to look him over, which he did carefully, shaking his head at every e-. amination. At last he said- "Father, this horse doesn't amount-. tb: much." " Why, my son, the horse is quite as good ah: animal as! the one onihich" our Mas~ei rode when on earth." As lihe'said this the young man had just finished examining the horse's mouth to de termine the age. The "old~fiianpeated his sentence- " Just as good a horse as the'one our Master. rode into Jerusalem." .. " Fther," said thle youth, '' it's the same_ one I
Emotional Insanity. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 28 March 1885
S. Emotional Tisanity. A man had met;a girl in;a ldnely place and forcibly kissed her. She was :terribly ihdic n?hit and had 'iim arrested. She gave an; account in the witniess-box of how he gazed .atlier intently, and 'theu 'suddeni ythrowin his arms arpuud.,her limprinted' a' kiss ipon hier lipg. The prisoner made.no defence; and t'he jury was expected , to promptly convict` him ef'htsahult. They returned to the court room? : "The jury vwould like 'to 'ask the young lady, two questions," theforemanii aid. The judge consented and_ she went in the box. "Did you wearthe..dress that you've; got on now?" " Yes, sir," wasi the demure reply. " And ::was your iiir ::banged like. that V" .' Yes, sir." " Then; ,your.: honor, wve acquit the prisoner on the ,ground of emotional insanity.' ,
Modern Fables. (NOT AFTER ESOP.) THE ARTISAN AND THE MASHER. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 28 March 1885
Modern Fables. (NOT AFTER BiEOP.) THE ARTISAvN AND THE MASHER. -Matilda was beloved both by William the poor artisan, and, by. Fitz W*illiam the msliher. Fitz William used to jeer Matilda about' William,?and iMatilda used rather to enjoy the chaff. Fitz William wore a bell-topper, three inches of. collar, an eyeglass and tight trousers. Of course he wore the other clothes peculiar to the male species, otherwise he 'might have been accused of indecency. William was less gaudy in his attire, and notwithstanding several snubbings' ad mihistered by the fair Matilda, continued his.. suit,' frequenting sixpenny restaurants arid cheap lodging houses, for the purpose of saving money. SWilliam was b goody-goody young man, cand: was once complimented .by the city Bench for informing agaihst .,' beggar; who asked him for a trifle. ".These beggars must be put down," reinarked the worshipful ;ehairman. Matilda wis .very' fond' of"Fitz William,, and, considered William i sneak., ne 6yday., illiam...