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Advertising [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 13 July 1917
r °. f . r . -' . T '%.KS OF, TiE £ t h C 'n I So ill his frlends scareey knew hiri and he went to the *'f?eIlsrnea Hospital. A friend recommendad Clements Tonic, and tihat aved him This letter has beea receadod beauss, of ite ugrat enestees. sad she way the writer. Mr. HoK;idy. *xpreses his sufferinog and recovery. It shows what Clements Tonic caw do. Mr. Hollidey writes frcm his b?saie3 addres,. 113 Madeline Street (13kwm Patent Peel Factory). Carlto,. Melbourne. 19!5/ 11. CLE[:tENTS TONIC LTD., " I am glad to tell you what Clemrnts Tonic did for me. A yoe aro I was so ill from had liver and narevasoess. I blamed overwork, and a rush of orders. To keep customers stppiied I worked day and night, with the result I get so ill i conld take no pert in the bhsiness except supervite. To give an idea how ill and changed I was, people who had not seee me for moanth would pass and not know me. I was for five months like this, gradually getting worse. Good advice and medCia dsilme no grod. ....
Mutual Improvement. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 13 July 1917
Mutual Improvement. Lust Saturday night, in the local Presbyterian Church. a very enjoy able evening was held by the boys of the Mutual Improvement Society. The subject on the syllabus was a competition for the best prepared speech on the subject " The Defence of Australia." The trophy, which was a gold medal with the figure of Aus tralia inset, was the gift of Mr Armour. Mr Ronald Gordon, assisted by Mr Birss, acted as judges, and there was very keen competition for the prize. The boys are to be greatly con gratulated on the way in which they prepared their subject and on their ability in the art of public speaking. Mr Gordon, after summing up the arguments brought forward, and giving valuable criticism, awarded first prize to Fred. Thewlis. The other boys all spoke well and it was very diffi cult to separate them. Willie Chat field received great praise for his attempt, but his speech was rather on the short side. Other competitors were. A. Johnston (2nd), R Bell and R. Ritchie. M...
Long Naps. Woman Sleeps for Thirty Years. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 13 July 1917
Long Naps. Woman Sleeps for Thirty Years. Recently a young French soldier who was wounded at the beginning of the war woke up after a nap of over two years. During the whole of that period food was artificially adminis tered. and to-day he is just as strong in body and mind as he was before his unique experience. This calls to mind a number of similar instances. Some time ago a woman in Brussels was aroused by church bells ringing in consequence of a fire. She had been asleep for nearly seventeen years. When she awoke she was in perfect health, and re membered in detail events tnat had taken place seventeen years ago, be fore she fell off into her long nap. There have been several instances of sleeps lasting twenty years. Here is the remarkable case of the "Dor mouse of Menelles." In 1883 Margaret Bangerel, a pretty girl of twenty-one years of age, be came unconscious as the result of a practical joke played upon her. The trance lasted for twenty years, and she became the most-talke...
VIOLINS WITH SOULS. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 13 July 1917
VIOLINS WITH SOULS. Enormous pains and care go to the making of a good violin, says on authority. Indeed. it has been rald that the great violin makers all li:ed within the compass of a hundred and fifty- years. They expended extra ordinary care in finding just the right beam. They learned to tell the density of the wood by touching It. The house of Stradivarins was as an oven. In this great heat the nils thinned anti simmered slowly, andr penetrated far into the wood, until the varnishes became a part of the 'rood itself. So vibrant and resonant is the wood of good old violins that they murmur and sing in answer to any sound. where a number of th. m hang together on a wall. It was doubtless owing to this fact that superstitious individuals. carried away by Paganini's wonderful play ing. declared that he had a human soul imprisoned in his violin; for the instrument sang and whispered even when all the strings were otf.
TRANSVAAL TERMINATIONS. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 13 July 1917
TRANSVAAL TERMINATIONS. In perusing the names of South African towns in the daily news papers, many must hare noted the word "fontein," which appears so of ten. This word is the English "foun tain," and towns with this termina tion have been named after Dutch farrims, which are always built beside fountains of spring water. Thus, Bloemfontein means "flowery fountain"; Modderfontein, "muddy fountain"; Kleinfontein, "small foun tain": and EIandsfontein, "doer foun tain." Another town termintion which readers must have noticed is that of "langte." which is pronounced "langhty." It means "shelter for animals," and hence, when we talk of the Battle of Elandslaagte, we may know that it was fought on a spot fre quented by deer.
A Bad Judge. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 13 July 1917
A Bad Judge. An Irishman taking home a goose for his Sunday dinner, went Into an inn for slight refreshment. Laying down the goose, he was proceeding to satisfy his thirst when a seedy-look ing individual, seizing the goose, nade off. He at once started after him, and ere running far, had his man by the neck. "What did yez take the bird for?" queried the irate Irishman. "Sure," said the seedy-looking min. "I took it for a lark." One .may be in touch with the toothache without actually beIng In sympathy with it!
A Waggish Non-Com. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 13 July 1917
A Waggish Non-Com.. I recently told a story on this page concerning a recruit named Monta gue, whose name was pronounced by a sergeant Montaig. Now there comes to me a letter from a soldier reader who was actu ally present at the incident referred to, which indeed happened to his chum. He also sends me the following good story, for the truth of which he vouches. Some men were billeted (he writes) in a barn that was infested by rats. One man complained to his company officer, who sent him to the Quarter master's stores with a note which ran, "Please give bearer rat-poison." The Quartermaster-Sergeant read the note, and being a bit of a wag, gave the man a rope. Mr. Talcott had failed in business and sold out, and having a couple of little bills gave them to his lawyer for collection. The amount collected was about £14. "I am sorry you've been so unfor tunate," said the lawyer, "for I take a great Interest In you, Talcott I shu'n't charge you as much as I should if I didn't feel such ...
A Criminal Nation. PRUSSIAN DUPLICITY. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 13 July 1917
A Criminal Nation. PRUSSIAN DUPLICITY. Admittedly Prussian militarism is responsible for the war. At the out set it was apparent to the world that Germany, dominated by the Prussian military class had determined that no thing should stand in her way. She had made up her mind that the world should bow to her wilL Germany is not recognising civilisation and law, honor and justice. Thousands of mur ders of the most callous kind have been committed by German soldiers in Belgium and in France. The atroci ties on women and children in France and Belgium are an oft-repeated tale. It was to obtain security from Ger many's militarism that the Allies op= posed her. Duplicity has ruled Ger many before the war and since the war. The Prussian military staff, with the evident intention of deceiv ing the Allies, has been recently trans mitting per medium of neutral coun tries messages to the world indicat ing that Germany and her Allies are weakening. These messages are evi dently calculated to le...
The Wrong Inference. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 13 July 1917
The Wrong inference. As is well known, Dr. T. J. Mac namara, Financial Secretary to the Admiralty, spent his early manhood as a teacher in the Bos"lI Schools, and as a result be is possessed of a budget of humorous storz:s anent the difficultles that are met with when endeavoring to develop youthful minds. One relates to a young and en thusiastic teacher who was trying his utmost to convey his idea of pity to his class. Said tae teacher: "Now, supposing a man was work ing on a river and suddenly fell into the water. His wife, hearing L's screams, and knowing full well his peril, rushed immediately to the bank. Why did she rush to the bankl There was a dramatic pause. Then a small voice piped out: "Please, sir, to draw his insurance moneyl"
Cicely Vibart's Love. (Published by Special Arrangement.) (Copyright.) CHAPTER XXVI. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 13 July 1917
Cicely Vibart's Love.a By ANNIE HAYNiES Author of "Lady Carew's Secret," "Footprints of Fate,' Etc., Etc. (Published by Special Arrangement., (Copyright.) CHAPTER YXVI. "May I come in?" Stephen asked humbly. He was standing on th. threshold of his wife's boudoir. Cicely raised herself from among the cushions on the couch and looket. at him, a lovely rose-red flush spread ing over her white face, mounting to the roots of her hair. For two days and nights Tony had lain in extreme danger. Both parent, had watched over him with tenderest care, but Stephen had seen how hih wife had avoided meeting his eye. how she had drawn herself away frow the least chance of touching him. li, had noticed that she never spoke t, him unless actually compelled, and then in monosyllables. Early this morning Tony had be,! pronounced out of danger, and Ciccl. having laid him back on the bed hat: celebrated the occasion by quietly fainting away. Since then she had been in the care of aMrs. Bowman and her mai...
Mrs Gabbing's Grievances Narrated to Arnold Golsworthy. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 13 July 1917
Mrs (labbing's Grievances Narrated to Arnold Golsworthy. We've got a 'bus that runs through our village to the market town every two hours, and the conductor used to be a nice young man, who was al ways very civil. You could have knocked me down with a feather when, as I stopped the 'bus the other day, I found my nice conductor was gone and his place taken by a young woman who looked as much as anything like a picture I once saw of a circus girl who was the champion rifle-shot of the street, or something of that kind. I got one foot on the step, and was just trying to lift the other after it when she rings the bell. "Here, hold on!" I says. "I want to get to the other end all in one piece if I can!" She didn't stop the 'bus all at once, and so there was I holdin' on, and calling to her and hoppin' along be hind that 'bus, and not bein' able to catch up to it with me other foot nohow. I reckon I must have hop ped the best part of quarter of a mile before the 'bus stopped. "In a bit o...
A Broad Hint. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 13 July 1917
A Broad Hint. I was talking to a friend the other day whose small son possesses a very sweet tooth. He had been told by his mother early in February that during Lent he must give up, and not expect, sweet cakes. He agreed, and a few days later he was invited to tea at the Vicarage. Toast was the chief delicacy on ' the Vicarage table, and when his hostess asked Jackie to have a second piece he looked up with puzzled eyes. "Is it Lent?" he asked seriously. "No, dear," replIed the Vicar's wife. "Lent doesn't start until the twenty first But why do you ask?" "Because I don't see any cake on the table," said Jackle in a pained voice. The body is the shell of the soul; apparel is the husk of that shell; the hunk often tells you what the kernel is.
AN INDICATION OF LONG LIFE. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 13 July 1917
AN INDICATION OF LONG LIFE. Women are supposed to be longer lived than men. An authority says that every woman can tell from her own features if her life is to be a short or a long one. The woman who will live long must have eyes round and wide rather than long and narrow, and if they are brown or hazel life will be longer than If they are black or blue. The brow must be ample and slope slightly from an absolute perpendicular. The head must be wide behind and over the ears. The mouth must be full and well set, and the chin square and firm. The nose must he wide and full through its whole length, and have open, easily dilating nostrils. This indicates a good. heart and good lungs. If the orifice of the ear is low, denoting a deeply eeated brain, there is a better chance of long life for its possessor.
NOT WHAT THEY SEEM. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 13 July 1917
NOT WHAT THEY SEEM. Every day we use words which. if they were taken literally, would mean utter nonsense. Here are a few of them: There is no cream in cold cream, cream of tartar, or chocolate cream. Nor is there any milk in milk of magnesia, milk trees, or milk weed. Grape fruit contains no grapes nor bread-fruit bread. Pine-apples have nothing to do with either pines or apples. There is no butter in butter-milk, butterflies or butter-cups. Sponges are not made into sponge cake. Cowslips have nothing to do with cows. C?ickens have no more con nection with' chicken-pox than a "cock-tall" has with the farmyard A horse chestnut, clothes-horse, horse-radish, all have no resemblance to a horse. Boot-trees and family trees do not grow in a forest, and neither are there any fish in a mackerel sky, geese in gooseberries or crabs in crab-apples.
Sam the Sprucer. The Spring Gets Into His Blood and He Fails in Love. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 13 July 1917
Sam the Sprucer. The Spring Gets Into His Blood and He Falls In Love. By F. WV. Thomas. "Why this gloomy countenance?" I asked Sam. "\Vhy do you sit there with a face as long as a flute and mlake melancholy aolses as if you'd got a pain where you couldn't get at it?" "Ahl!" said Sam. sadly. "It's love; it's love that makes the world go round. Beer will do it. of course,. but beer's a shilling a pint, so in my case I know it's either love or indiges tion. "In the spring, you know, a young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of thin vests and brimstone and trea cle. and spring onions and spring mat tresses, and spring chickens and spring greens. lie sees the crocuses a-crocussing,. he sees the bulru shiug and the cowsllppiug, he hears the blithe bullock a-warbling in the trees. and his tholughts naturally turat to wards the girl that cleans the steps across the road. "Consequently the tender pa sion has entered into my heart, and I'm all of a tremble. Sometimes I feel sort of anyhow...
LONG—AND NARROW. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 13 July 1917
LONG-AND NARROW. The "Amurrican" wasn't exactly a prevaricator, but he loved to tell tall stories. He -was staying with a clergyman in England, and asked his host to pull him up if he went. 'too far.' One night, during a dinner party, the Yankee started to describe a pe?" greenhouse he was having built. Warming to his subject, he said : "I guess it'll be some greenhouse, too. It's got to accommodate giant tropical plants, so I'm having it made a thousand feet long, a hun dredfeet high"-here he caught his host's eye-"and-and, an inch wide!" he finished hastily.
KILL THE WORM! [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 13 July 1917
KILL THE WORM! "Is it too much to hope that this black and bitter frost of war may reach and kill this worm that works havoc in the heart of Old England?" asks a writer in the "Morning Post." "It is an occasion when men's minds are highly stirred and when they are no longer content with abuses be cause they are old and familiar. And they must also see, as a point of sheer necessity, that there must be reform if the nation is to face the difficult and dangerous times that are ahead. It rorst be reform not mere ly in system but in spirit. There must be an uprising of the nation against these evils, and all that is best in the life of thie country must come to gether to think out something bet ter." Mr.. inkworthy had become greatly pufled up over the fact that his wife was telling the neighbors that she had a model husband. He bored his col leagues in the office about it until one of them called him to one side and suggested that he should look up the definition of the word "model." M...
THOSE THREE COLOURS. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 13 July 1917
THOSE THREE COLOURS. The black sheep of the family had run away to sea. The first night "'out" he was on the look-out, and suddenly spied three lights-red, green, and white-the port, starboard and masthead of an approaching ves sel. Every seaman knows that when these three lights are to be seen at the same time it means danger, but the black sheep wasn't $ seaman. "Ahoy there!" yelled the officer on deck. "What's that ahead of us ?" "Don't know," answered the black sheep calmly. "I think it's a chem ist's shop !"
Mrs. Gabbing's Grievances. Narrated to Arnold Goldsworthy. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 13 July 1917
Mrs. Gabbing's irievances. Narrated to Arnold Goldsworthy. Yot see, my fowls came on to lay all at once at the beginning of the month, and me havin' more eggs than what I could do with I naturally thought of turnin' what I didn't want to a bit o' money. - I mentioned it to Mrs. Dennis when I met her in the High-street, and she says: "You'd better go down to the Vicar age," she says. 'They're askin' for eggs there. I know." So I puts a dozen eggs in a basket and sets out for the Vicarage. oein' war-time the vicar has turned all his ground into a kitchen garden. As I walked through towards the house I saw there was only just a patch of grass life, where a billy-goat was tethered. I don't care for crea tures of that sort myself, but I'm not afraid of them when they're tied up. All at once I hears a noise behind me. I turned around and found the nasty thing had broke loose from its tether, and was coming after me, jumping sideways as if it didn't know exactly where it would like to bite...