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A NOD'S AS GOOD AS A WINK, &c. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 21 March 1885
A NOD'S AS GOOD AS A WINK, &c. It is reported that some. time? ago .Mr. St. John went into a Kansas drug store and called for a glass of sodawater, ; His left eye accidentally twiched' nas the c~lerk gazed at him inquiringly. Thee mist'k?fn clerli, not knowing the gentleman, gave him a liberal allowance of the usual flavour demanded on such occasions, anid the glass was drained to the dregs. "' My goodness,; gracious me;" said the candidate, smacking ?his lips, ",I don't see-how men canndrinkli'iuor when they can get sodawater like that."-American paper.
CRICKET. QUEENSCLIFF V DRYSDALE. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 21 March 1885
CRICKET. QUEENSCLIFF V 1)RYSDALE. The representatives of the above clubs met on the Recreation Reserve on Saturday last for the second time this season. The local team was captained as usual by A. Williams, iv ilst the visitors who were strengthenedlby the inclusion of three of the Portarlingtron eric kieers. were led lhv Cadldy.. The fd~;mer wov'i the toms and electe;d .to iit. The grounid was in splendid condition for cricket owingto the reecnr rains. The Clitfites were ill disposed of for 33. The Drvs:aile then to the wickets. Th!e h1bow.lin;g was ?omiucnced by Stephen aild in'annie., alas 1.? th wcere il excellent form the vi.i itirg to:n was disposed of For 28. In the lIa:t iv)r wlich was bowled by Ftliiinr; four men were grot rid of co nsecutively. Wells Ois i' uishcd l I ioislf bhindthei ticks `Sul'b .joinedl a;re the scores:- ' ui QuEiC ' s5c1.F i -t st Innings. Fanning, c Dolie i iildy ... 0 F. Stephon, h G rir ... ... 6 W. Stephen, h Grigg ... .. : 5 William s, Cddly ... ....
A Savage in a Ball-room. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 21 March 1885
A Savage .in .a :BaU irorni A cruelhoax. v was.played.off a short time ,back p uioi a Germ'in' painter who is' well` knowniboth'ijnParis aiid Berli??. This clever :man affects to be blase :and at a New-Year's gatherini of journalists, artists; and actors in a very popular house- on the Unted t ie e Linden," refused a very pressing invitation to the so-called. "Elite balls" before Lent, on tih ground =that hie iceased . to care:about dancing. ..When he had left, -a motion for.his piiislimenh was prroposefiabd crried, and the miiis rti?un?of'the ve~igeande of;the comiqny was committed to a witty, and ingenious coin edian:. -"He-"called the-next' day upon the artisti,'complimented'.him upon' his refusal to ,take part iii the slow and conventional dances of the ordinary-waorld, and; aftfir a 'pause, invited him to attend a "divinely-amus ing entertainment," as he phrased it, got up by an artistic coterie called the " Ulk Club, " and consisting of a Carnival, at which every guest was obl...
Screams. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 21 March 1885
Soreams, There is rather a large demand in screams just now. Not that there is any falling off it sighs, hut the latter are stationary, while the former are "]ooking up." We are re ferring, of course, not to the scream of private life, hut to that of the fiction writer. Not that a heroine ever screams at anything so vulgar as a mouse, or a hero at anything at all, even if he is being flayed alive with red-hot pincers; bnt there are other situations in novel life where a scream is imperative. There is the prolonged scream of agony, which is all that Florence can utter when she receives the fatal, convincing proof that Harold is faith less. There is the flute-like, inexpressibly soft and tender scream with which Kitty throws herself into the arms of Adolphus, her long lost Adolphus, who left her in a tweed suit and with one half-crown, but has come back, as she (and we) always know he would, covered with war medals, and positively in undated with "the needful." There is the passionate...
The last Match. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 21 March 1885
The last Match. Few incidents of the famous Greely ex pedition to the nothern seas make so vivid an impression upon the mind as one recorded by Sergeant George B. Rice, who did not live to return to his home and friends. A sledge party was detailed to visit and examine Hall's Rest on the coast of Green land. In the course of this expedition the stock of matches that the men had brought was reduced to one. It was a miserably cold evening, when the shivering group of men gathered in their damp tent to watch the attempt to ignite, by this single match, the spirit lamp upon which their lives depended. The lamp once lighted, there was warmth and warm food at their command; the lamp unlighted, there was not vital force left in the party to resist the fatal chill of the Arc tic night. With what breathless interest the experiment was watched we can scarcely imagine. " The match," wrote Sergeant Rice in his' diary, "snapped, cackled, and showed a little flame, which by dexterous management w...
Anecdote of the House of Commons. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 21 March 1885
Anecdote of the House of Commons. Mr. Martin had been speaking of the bad feeling, frequently ending in duels, which was often engendered in the minds of hori ourable members in consequence of a mis conception, not merely of what was meant but often of what was said by other honour able gentlemen. "And, Mr. Spaker," said..Mr. ,Martin,. with his rich Irish brogue, "with your permission, I will give yourself and the House a case in point. That case, Mr. Spaker, occurred to meself. YouL kno? , sir, and the House knows, that I was opposed at the last election for Galway by Dennis O'Sweeny. Now, Mr. Spaker, I said.some thing on the hustings about Deinnis ,and by my faith Dennis said something" aboutme.? Well, sir, after the election was over, we met in a hotel, and Dennis comes up to rie; and says, 'says he, 'Dick Martini(roars of la?gh~ter), youwas after saying somiething in your spaach on the hustins aboutmne which was inconsistent with the character of a gintlemin.' "' Faith, and it's...
Write Plainly. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 21 March 1885
Write Plainly. Persons who send manuscript of any kind to the newspapers should always write plainly. The rejection' of the manuscript of an un familiar author is perhaps oftener on account of illegible handwriting than lack of merit. There is no greater torture for an editor than to have to attempt to decipher a bad manuscript, and the sense, especsially of a poem, is frequently entirely lost in the tang. led mass of wretched penmanship. Sir Francis Jeffrey knew so well the difficulty of forming a correct judgment of an article by reading in manuscript, that when he seat in his first article after he had r-tired from the Edinburgh Reviewr, he had an understanding with Napier, his successor, that it should not be read until it appeared in the proof. A few years ago the editor of the Saturday Review generally had each article -which appeared as if it might be worthy of accept ance put into type before decidng uponit, for, as Charles Lamb says, there is no such raw and unsatisfactory ...
Advertising [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 21 March 1885
Uo7 READY. *ice Sizpoeco, By Post Eichtponco. A NEW WORK ON i:EPRODUCTIE ORCABNS R. J. 1OULTON. The above work i a pornlar treatise on The REPRODUCTIVE OG.ANS, showing;' their Construction, Fuin;tionl, and the i:-.,;;"rDerangoments to which they are linile. This little book is on3 whieh may be *; :iperused with advantage by all who are S: desirous of obtaining information on a subject which ougI;t to form a portio:t of ' : . the Education of the Male cox. 'A k )w .' ledge of this subject is undoubtedly of incaloulable value, as by it many of the ills which afflict after life may be avoi led or remedied. Copies will be forwarde;'under strict c . over to any address on receipt ol posfs e stamps issued by any of the colonies. R. J. POULTON, ,,H 186 BOURKE STREET EAST, MELBOURNE. 0A 0 onsult :I .,The, .PHysICANS of the .AUSTRALIAN. " MEDICAL .and. SURGICAL INFIRMARY. .,: ;DEFOBMITIES, SPECIFIC. EBMALE and- NEIt , 'voubsD:iscaises.a. SPECIALITY.' Send for (fr'e) MT .. TISE on'rYITALITY, ...
Facetiae. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 21 March 1885
Somebody wants to know why newspapers will persist in abbreviating a Son of Temper-. ance and make an S. 0. T. of him, A woman at Clifton Hill swallowed a' pint' of kerosene with intent to commit suicide. She still lives. She forgot to swallow a lighted match. This notice was posted on the doors' of ' loan bank after the sudden disappearance of the cashier:. "Another poineer of civiliza tion has set out for New Guinea." It is the confession of a Bootle widower who has been thrice married that the first wife' cures a' man's romance; thei second teaches him humility, and the third makes him a philosopher. "I've written a new poem," said an essthetic young man, addressing a lady noted for her wit and beauty. " Indeed I and what is its title 1" she asked. "Before the dawn," said he. " Keep it dark," was her crushing rejoinder. A friend of ours recently wrote us out .a prescription for a pick-me-up. Take three grains of introthobromotoleune.para.sulpho nic, and also tribromotoluene-para-...
Quite Easy. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 21 March 1885
Quiite Easy. It is quite as easy to get rich at a raffle as it is at mining speculation. We-know a man who went in for a raffle for a sucking pig, at 2s 6rdper'member ;" he won and 1ao to spend 2s 6d foi the crowd,- thenf he treated his luck, which cost him three or four shillings more., Finally somebody stole the pig.
Be Aisy. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 21 March 1885
Be Aisy: It is generally supposed th~re ii only one B in buses; but 'it is not sb. Our reporter states, on his oath, =that he has seen Bags, Boxes, Bundles, Babies, :Bow-wo ys, Big fat people, and B--; well, not to be-getting our. selves confused; 'wei drop the subject, after having, we hope, dispelled a popular delusion concerning busses,. :
Ye Prank of ye Prynter's Devil. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 21 March 1885
Ye Prank of ye Prynter's Devil. The devil, one eve, to the office did stray Of our leading Conservative journal, And to the composing room soon found his way, To play one of his pranks most infernal. He picked up a proof of a speech by Munro, SBut 'twas dull'thro' constant recurrence, So he christeneddit, tho' it required no head, A "melancholy occurrence." He next 'on' a joke by the "Vagabond'" Sdropped, ....: . .Biut he found it too witty a brevity To origimai be, so he called it' a case Of " extraordinary, longevity." But fearing that some folks might cavil' at this, And inclined.be to kick up a bobbery, He scratched out that heading and wrote in its place " A singular daring robbery." Still the devil was ;puzzled, and scratching his head, Said he, " Surely that joke was not meant." So he rubbed out that heading,- and in its place wrote "A serious accident." Next an article found he by spiritual Smith, But said. he-" I can't go any, further; Still, as this has been cribbed from b...
A Slight Exaggeration. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 21 March 1885
A Slight Exaggeration. Jones has the richest farm in Victoria. I went over last summr, with two friends, and he took us on a foar-acre lot he had just prepared for planting. We all went to the very centre of the lot, and Jones there made a single hill and show'ed us a cucumber seed. "Now, boys," said he, "when I put this seed in the ground, you must run for the fence and get out of the paddock as quick as you can." No sooner had Jones dropped the seed than he and the others started off, as if a big bulldog was after them. I was so astonished at the stampede that I forgot the warning, until I saw the vine pushing up from the ground and making towards me. I then ran as if for dear life; but before I got to the fence, the vine caught me and began twining around me like the coils of a snake. I was terribly alarmed, but thought of my knife in my pocket, with which I could cut myself loose; but, to my. horror, I couldn't get my hand in, for there was a big cucumber, and growing like blaze...