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THE BOY AND THE BEER. [Newspaper Article] — Maldon News — 18 July 1916
THE BOY AND THE BEER. "My Bon," said the father, "take that jug and fetch me some beer." "Give me the money, then, father." "My son, to get beer with money, anybody can do that, but to get beer without money, that's clever." So the boy takes the jug, and out he goes. Shortly he returns, and places the jug before his father. "Drink," said the son. "How can I drink," says the fa -ther, "when there is no beer in ths jug ?" "To drink.beer out of a jug," gays the boy, "where there iB beer, any body can do -th^t ; but to drink beer out of a jug where there is no beer, that's clever."
BETTER OFF. [Newspaper Article] — Maldon News — 18 July 1916
BETTER OFF. j A political office in a small United States town was vacant The office paid 250 dollars* a year, and there was keen competition (or it. The Democratic candidate, Ezekicl Binks. was a shrewd old fellow, find a sub stantial campaign fund was got to gether for him. To the astonishment - i of all, howover, he was defeated. "I* can't account for it," said one I of the Democratic leaders, gloomily j "With that money wo should have j won. How did you lay it out, Ezc I kiel ?" j "Well," said Ezekiel, slowly, scrat ching his head, "yer see, that offlc® only pays 250 dollars a year salary, an' I didn't see no sense in payin nine hundred dollars out to get the office, so I just bought mo a little farm instead." "Do you keep many servants, Haw kins ?" "Well, last year we had eighteen.' "Eighteen ?" echoed Wigglethorpe. j "How can you manage that number ; on your incotno ?" j "Oh, seventeen of 'em were cooiw who stayed on an average of ^ days apiece," said Hawking. "Th« rest was ou...
NEW MEMBER'S IMPRESSIONS. [Newspaper Article] — Maldon News — 18 July 1916
NEW MEMBER'S IMPRESSIONS. He had been elected member for his native county, and had come up to the Metropolis to take his seat, ia the House. He was a modest, retiring individ ual, and felt quite overawed as lie stood diffidently In the Lobby amon* a throng of the ordinary members. "Well, Mr. G ," said one ot tho legislators near him, "and what are : your impressions of the House ?" "To tell the truth," replied the : new member, in" some confusion, "j wonder how I got here." 1 A week afterwards he made a speech which astonished them, and I the. same member buttonholed him again after the debate. "What are your impressions of ths House now ?" was the question. "Getting to know us, eh ?" "Yes," quietly replied Mr. G—. "And now I wonder how you all got here !" He was not asked about his im pressions after that.
MEMORABLE DINNER. [Newspaper Article] — Maldon News — 18 July 1916
MEMORABLE DINNER. "Talking about good dinners," gaia the Yankee traveller, slowly, '"I re member one I had in Chicago. I went into a slap-up restaurant with some churns and ordered the finest thing in dinners. Then, -when the lull came round, wo couldn't decide who was to pay. They all wanted to, and so did I." j "Very awkward for you all," agro j ed one of his listeners, sceptically. I "Waal, yes," continued the man j from the States ; "as we couldn't j settle the matter, -I~ proposed that I we should blindfold the waiter, and ■ then whichever one' of us he caught • was to be allowed to foot the bill." "A very good idea,"" said another listener, stifling a yawn. "Whom did he catch?" "I dunno," replied the Yankee, briefly ; "but he -•ain't caught m» yet." *; (
BROUGHT IT DOWN. [Newspaper Article] — Maldon News — 21 July 1916
BROUGHT IT DOWM. At a football match the other day it began to rain heavily, and a fv»ll-. blown masher. ,.who seated on the grand stand, put up his umbrolia It.had not been long up when some people At the back began to com plain at not being- able to se« the game. The masher. overhearing: the talk, turned round, and, lookjng through his eyeglass, exclnimed : " I—ah—T beg your pardon : but can't you see over my umbrella ? The complatners. however, mailo no reply, whofinip.o.n a wag, shouted from the back seat : •• Mo Hertie, we can't see over it, but we can see through it ! " The umbrella went down suddenly, amid roars of laughter. The .Jordan, during its course falls l,200it.. and is unnavigaljle, except for very short stretchcs. 4,—— The largest wrought-iron pillar is fit Delhi., in India. It is sixty feet high-and weighs seventeen tons. A striking salutation of the Sou'Ji Sea Islands is to /ling a tar oX water over the head of a friend. of. fn some of the South Sen islands native...
HORSELESS EXCAVATING. [Newspaper Article] — Maldon News — 21 July 1916
j .JiPRSELESS EXCAVATINC. , o ; ;A : 'ycry novel form of horseless "carriage, or rather waggon is - i?&- J irig used _ to remove the dirt "and : stone from a great cellar, now. being dug in the city, of Sew York. The cont.ratprs in. cliarge of the excava tion have discarded• the use of hor ses entirely, except for^ drawmg wag gons.to and from the work .The heavy carts are picked up by a jgiantfcrari'e," lifted from the excava ' tion and swung, round, and then de posited i»i the road directly behind : -the particular, team of horses that is waiting. '-During working hours a cart is handled in this way. on an average -overy five minutes. ■ :'A . Kccitation.—To. the Terrestrial, Globe : Roll on, thou ball, roll on, Through the seas of inky air Roll oh ! It's true I've got- no shirts to wear; It's true my bu teller's "bill , is; due. It's true' Tiny-prospects. all look blue, But" " don',t; let " that"; unsettle you ! Never you mind, Itoll on !—W. • S. Gilbert.
Maldon Hospital [Newspaper Article] — Maldon News — 21 July 1916
j MaltfOH Hospital ■ The annaal report and balance sheet, to be presented to the annual meeting of subscribers to be held at' the Masonic Hall on Thursday next for the year ending 30th Jane, has just been issued. The financial position shows a marked improvement, the debit balance of £46 2s lOd having been converted into a credit balance of £62 ] Is 10d. The receipts from all sources totalled £8-34 17s 3d, the actual expenditure being ,£726 3s lid. The most noticeable increase in revenue was from private contri butions (£200 14s 7) as against £92 12s Id last year. This item this year ..includes £100 from, estates, which formerly have been credited to bequests. Patients5 fees amount to £69 9s, as compared with £187 12s 3d last year, The Govt subsidy amonots to £350 and municipal grants to 17 guineas, which is about the lowest in the state. A donation of £50 wss r^?iv§4 fjgm&g estate late Mr Ji H; Rule, and in coiiaidera'ion thereof Mrs Strachan and MissRuls were appointed lif...
NEW ROOTS FOR OLD PLANTS. [Newspaper Article] — Maldon News — 21 July 1916
HEW ROOTS FOR u PLAHTS, The propagation of PlnnU tines is so well know,, ev«M y e,It" amateur florists that a,,vo " a limited experience would , ipf the idea oi instruction ;n it in which all ran hv expert l,!""1* nii.iute^' training. Ueraaiu," r ,fl> beiias, ;iik1 colons root %" that to procure a new pu'?'5^ only necessary to cut off u U is plant the end in the earth - hl plenty of moisture till il have started, and ,n a w„ * short time a health,, vigorous ^ will reward this trilling \n\mr '■ Many plants, indeed the sr portion root from cuttings J*'" as easily as those mentioned indeed it is the means chier;v' ^ upon by floi ists for the of their stock. Of the lh01j^rt'"1 roses and carnations sold i,r fl . °' nearly every one came from .-TT? ting", a branch of last, year'* n^'f for the greater part of' lhp ft ™;' stock-in-trade is renewed pvm- v» ' The florist, however, in r' ing his stock, gc-es to P'"'>pa^a t. in a scientific manner. In some pan, , his house, usually H port...
RED CROSS AND HOSPITAL SOCIAL. [Newspaper Article] — Maldon News — 21 July 1916
RED CROSS AND HOSPITAL SOCIAL. The first of the series of social dances, to be run this season by a local committee, comprising Mrs Graynor president, Mr S. Walker treasurer, Mr 0. Jenkins secretary, Mesdames West, Gibson, Walker, A. Webster, Misses Seymour, E; Penrose Messrs West Gr, Pullan and H. Seedsman members jf committee took place in the Temperance Hall on Wednesday evening, and was in every way an unqualified success, and the management are to be con gratulafced on the result of their initial effort. Despite the Inclement weather which prevailed, the attendance was yery satisfactory, about 80 couples being present. The hall presented a,pretty appearance, be ing decorated with flowers, ever greens, patriotic and Red Gross Blags, Mr Somer presided, gnd in a few words, in which he congratu'ated all interested for thefr efforts on behalf of' such deserving causes, opened the proceedings, The s age was set apart for the euchre tournament, the prizes being won by Mrs J. Baxter (j...
A SHEEP'S THIGH BONE AS A HUMAN ARM. [Newspaper Article] — Maldon News — 21 July 1916
A SHEEP'S THICH BOHE AS A HUMAN ARM. L ' A most, remarkable surgical opera tion was performed a short time ago which, if successful, and it gives every promise of being so, will mark a new epoch in the treatment of fractured bones. The crushed hum or us. or bone of the upper arm, was removed from a patient and its place supplied by the femur or thigh bone of a sheep. A labourw at the shipyards was hurt by a heavy weight, which fell on him. The bone in his left arm was so completely j shattered that, the doctors at the I hospital to which he was taken de cided that amputation was necessary The patient objected energetically to the loss of his arm and wanted to know if there was not any way in which the shattered part of his arm could be removed and replaced by something else. This gave the sur geon an idea which was to substi tute a bone from a sheep's leg for the fractured bone in the injured arm.-- * ; As it was necessary to procure a perfectly- healthy ' sheep a careful selectipn ...
THE Maldon News PUBLISHED TWICE-A-WEEK "FIDEM SERVO" FRIDAY EVENING, JULY 21 [Newspaper Article] — Maldon News — 21 July 1916
t a s* zs PUBLISHED >y,T _ ' ' - —^ Ratepayers of the Shite oife are notified that a KevisioG 3 will be held at the Shire r?41 Thursday next, at 10,SO 5^ the purpose of revising the" lists for the Muldoa, BatiaeW^' Wglmer Ridings. Tbe 7? municipal elections win -g^ nest month, but so far noonJ? has been spoken of against th= ^ retiring councillors, who areV,w to be returned uuopposeti jj43 seek re-election. When sickness or sorrow 0£ nerve-racking worry. Have faith in the help which avail Take courage and vanquish In storm and stress, eo.ch par.;; ^j]] less. If with calmness.yout fate you'llt-. W"hen cough or cold of yo;tr 1'^-".' hoia, Take Woods' Great PeiveKiint ■ The anniversary ia cosset with the English Bap'ist School will take place on Scpfe^ 24th, and will be followed by., entertainment on Sept. 27th, Owlug to the enormous hi^, in the. price of drugs fife societies have to pay higher $3 per member to uiest the cheniy dues. The Avoca branch c: ^ AN.A, lias decided chat aa ...
CHAPTER XXXVI. 'YOU NEED NOT BE AFRAID,' SAID SYBIL. [Newspaper Article] — Maldon News — 21 July 1916
CIIAI'TEtt XXXVI. •Yon Xkkd N&lt;?r hk Avium,' Said •• '_!• Sriin,. H E was still holding her* closely to'h'iiii, and she ,did riot alfctwnpt 'dfsettgagp' $ensel3|- 4$ndfLhis ' arrii. She would not liare had 1dm know that, what hq had soid-fhad 'offended ot1hurt|^lier^rliiayJcQhlidera tiou in the world. He^stoopcd and,kissed her, not once, ;but:jnany jtimefe. ./'Audi believe you iwpukt-not, S)*ljil..?!Tiie man who does many you will be an uncommonly lucky >aii& happy fellow! TVJ[ know that,' ., A pause. Her head was- resting against his shoulder. It was' •with difficulty she suppressed a; sigh. Per haps something in her subdued .manner gave him a little encouragement. Any-' -way he - stooped and kissed liev lovely face again. t - ' I wonder, I wonder, my darliug, if things had only been different,. whether you would have . married me ?■' lie whispered in a voice which trembled with emotion. , Sybil's heart stood still. . For , a moment the ' room swung Iwind.'' an...
(ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.) ONLY A FLIRT. PART FOURTEEN. CHAPTER XXXV. 'NO ONE ADMIRES YOU SO MUCH AS I DO.' [Newspaper Article] — Maldon News — 21 July 1916
- (ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.) | ONLYlFLiRT. . v BY MRS. JOCELYN. Author of "Drawn Blank," "A Regu lar Fraud," "Pamela's Honeymoon." .PART FOURTEEN. CHAPTER XXXY. ' "" ' 2s o O.vk Admihes You so Much as I Do.' v i She did not venture to look up. Her '' heart was beating in a very iucon- i venient manner, and she wanted a few- i moments in which it could become more ] calm. ■ - Slie disengaged her-haiuVj doing it,i ? quietly, in an unconcerned. way\_ Then i ' she sat down oiva .chair;..near;at:..hand,'.-1 . and looked up., at him with an amused ' little smile. - . . - i ' Do you know that you are very un reasonable.?', she _said.. ■ 'I.promised not j •. to go out this afternoon unless .1. lot- you know; and-you see I have stayed in, and am nowhere.;:As to you,^calling ..: mo ,,httlft,;..that is ridiculous., • I- ani": afraidi,I.rtnt far-move like aAwlkihg sign- - post. I am. too tall.' - . vV ' Not an inch,' was 'tbe£quick reply, r • tJhit ,as to your^bcingji 'sigh-poet^wpll; v&agr...
Advertising [Newspaper Article] — Maldon News — 21 July 1916
SHIRE OF MALDON. 'RENDERS will be received at the 1 JL Shiro Hall, tfaldon, up to 12 noon cm Wednesday, .Tum 26th, 1916, for ihe following vorks■ j Repairs to Bridges o?er Loddoa at | Forbo*' Cro«ing. r Carting 200 cubic yards of Road 'Metal from ir'hilllpB* to Moolort Road,near Broadfoote, Oontraot S0.8/J6—300 feet of Forming and Gravelling and providing a Metal Croaiing north of Walmer Churcb, I Tenders mutt be accompanied bj da posit, 5 per cent cash or approved cheque Full particulars cai> be obtained at the abire Hall, Maldon,«/ at the office of R. L, NANK17ELL, Shire Engineer, Maldon. • ; H. DICKSON, i I Shire Secretary -j fc'hire Hall, Maldon, July 20th, 1916. '
Advertising [Newspaper Article] — Maldon News — 21 July 1916
Miss Wilson, Fruiterer, Confectioner High Street, Maldon Freeh Drnit always in stock. None bafc best Confectionery kept HOT PiilS, Tea and Gofiieo at ... ail hoars. Under 2Jew Management, THE POfULAR Kangaroo Hotel Thos. O'GRADY £Late of Fairfield) 'Wisues-to anuouuce to the public of Mnidon aud surrounding districts ibai he has taken over the above well known and long-asiabiished Hotel., and &lt;rusis by civility, com. jbined with cleanliness and strict attention to buainese, to merit a Share cf patronage; Nothing but the best brands of spirits wines and liquors kept iu stook, Splendid accommodation and meals for travellers and visitors Free htabliag ■ Phone No., 5 A, A. ED HOUSE Fruiterer and Confectioner, Corner Reef and Templeton-sts, . A NSTOUNOES that he has a good -iTjL Collection, of Fmit,. Confectionery and Summer Drinks of all kinds at wholesale Rates. Agent for Bandigo Ice, Agent for JohnBrunaings famous Fruit Trees. Every tree guaranteed true to name . He also wi...
Advertising [Newspaper Article] — Maldon News — 21 July 1916
' '-1 -Breakfast -TOP idea.L PORRIDGE MEAL i® th® fiS^t rood for .** youth. It i. .o SSL- ~*~ hoaith anc; streps"*- L j;\ ?astd.ligh? is ouickly prepared, further fthfert ^3' otlier aicJ. It Is th®. sreaft bens and muscle foixUgi®-* . ; : V •'THE MEALi' iTHAT, MEL i S,.. IK THE M~bl3TK." S^^SSSSSSS^ ' '"/•set. Color? ir.ast not be. mixed. A In SSs; & &lt;Ib. Net Weight ?a=keU '::"'V ALL GROCERS. . Fodder Seeds. Sixiit'li5s Sseds are sold on honor tby them Write for qcioiaUoaa fojee^ delircreiao yo-K nearest iiailway Station, bolow. jltlUaiue jrioos ._ .■ •... _ .... ; ■ t ! ) "nvs-nrf 'Rsacx Rape, ill!titer River and other leading varieties of Beat Imported Dv>arf - the wonderful new folder Plunt.Silver Iiaet, nn'l Ohnmplou a»»g.l. St,to ■.pp.ox.m.tel,. quantities reqmred.^^ free_ Melbourne Address—BoxlGS G.P.G. GEO. SMITH, Seed-and Plant Merchant, Ballarat. Est. 1868 KOW SHOVvl'NG Ihe Leading Drapers •In all Departments.' Goods' Imported Direct,/ Inspection inyit...
Advertising [Newspaper Article] — Maldon News — 21 July 1916
I NFBVOMS 1 I* i1L § & fe tl «jJ %e l| t RPPAtf flawy i BliLMiiily pil i i14 jtjj E£^J5E^3&!Z^JSmi^&£3SSSE&l, ;:| A REMARKABLE GORE I | I jjji What Clements Tonic can do in * ji;:! restoring the nerves to healthy power | Jlj; and making the weakened system strong, >J ijfj A letter in point which is worth reading. ;a No, 6 Post Office Place, South Melb., 2/7/11. I CLEMENTS TONIC LTD., |i 9 " Your Ionic is one of the quickest !'] nerve and brain cures known. I tried |'| all kinds of doctors' medic.ir.cs, and got 5:j no relief as I have from your tonic, jw I could not stand anyone talking to I ; me, or the noise of the town traffic. | : I lost appetite and weight. I was that weak at times a child could push mc fij over. I had to give up work. I lay !•;! hour after hour awake, now I can go to bed and almost sleep at once. My case was one of the worst I ever Ij heard of. I thought I would never ;i get ^yell. I can hardly believe the relief I have gut fr...
COMMONWEALTH WAR LOAN'S AND LARGE INVESTORS. Extended Instalment Terms: [Newspaper Article] — Maldon News — 21 July 1916
COMMONWEALTH WAR LOAN'S AND LARGE INVESTORS. Extended Instalment Terms: As a matter of general informa tion it is desired to point out, that any person, firm or company, may apply for any amount in the Com monwealth War Iyoan on the Ex tended Instalment Basis, as it is recognised that it may suit many large investors to spread their instalments over the longer period. In terms of the extended instal ment prospectus, instalments are payable over a period of ten months at the rate of 10 per cent of the amount applied for each month. Under the original prospectus, instalments are payable in four amounts, over a period of four months, and it is open to appli cants to select the method of pay ment of instalments which best suits their finances; The subscription list will close on 1st August next, and in veiw of the facilities that have been offered to all classes of investors, It is anticipated there will be a handsome response to the Government's ap peal for funds with which to finance ...