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FARMER'S "IDEAL" COWSHED. [Newspaper Article] — Seymour Express and Goulburn Valley Avenel, Graytown, Nagambie, Tallarook and Yea Advertiser — 30 January 1914
FA??,ME.'B "IDEA?I" OOWSgD. An amusing practical joke has jest been played by one of the Portland (Dorset) farmers on the sanitary con mitteo on nowshcd regulations, many of whose requirements the farmers con sider unreasonable. The sanitary in spector had issued notices of an in tended inspection. The farmer made ssreparations for the visit by spreading inoleum over the floor of his cow house, displaying hearthrugs in con venient positions, hanging the walls with pictures, a mirror, and a motto: "Until we meet again,' and furnishing the interior with chairs and a har monium. When the committee called he gravely asked them to wipe their feet on the doormat, and explained that the harmonium was for the cow to play while the calf danced. The committee were so amused that after vainly trying to hide their laughter they had to retire. When they had gone the farmer informed his friends that they were so taken up with the decorations that they had forgotten to examine the drains or to ful...
FOOLS. [Newspaper Article] — Seymour Express and Goulburn Valley Avenel, Graytown, Nagambie, Tallarook and Yea Advertiser — 30 January 1914
FOOLS. 'isdium becomes iusufferauio at times and is a tiresome thing to live with. Foolishness and irresponsibility are moods always welcome and not' often found in -those who assume the airs of wisdom. Foolishness has no airs. Fools make up for their fool ishness by some redeeming qualities. They do not, for instance, try to out wit one. You feel superior in their company. They are soothing and kind and often" generous. They are apt to Ipologise for their existence. It is better by far to praise fools than to condemn them. Those who condemn them meroilessly, as Pope did, are apt to be pilloried themselves as fools. A study of the fool in literature would reveal much that was kind and attractive, and certainly much that is entertaining. Besides Pope's "Dun ciad," and as opposed to it, may be set Erasmus' "Praise of the Folly," a wise work by a heavy Teuton. But the maxims of our forefathers are now regarded by many as hocus-pocus.- We manufacture maxims in these days to suit our own...
A BRIEF TRIUMPH. [Newspaper Article] — Seymour Express and Goulburn Valley Avenel, Graytown, Nagambie, Tallarook and Yea Advertiser — 30 January 1914
A BRIEF TRIUMPH. It was his first brief, and he was de termined to defend his client with his last breath, if necessary. And now the critical stage of the case had come. One of his witnesses, was bking exam ined by counsel for the prosecution. "I understand you called on the plaintiff on the 15th. Is that so?" "That is so." "And what conversation passed be tween you?" Before the harassed witness oould re ply our friend jumped up and objected to the question being put, maintaining that the conversation could not be ad mitted in evidence. A heated discussion followed, and fin ally the court was adjourned in order that the magistrate might come to P decision When the court reassembled the mag. istrate upheld counsel for the prosecu tion, who. with a look of triumph, pro ceeded to put the question: "Now will you-be good enough to tell the court what conversation passed between you and the plaintiff when you called on him?" "Please, sir, the servant that opened the door told me.he wereou...
KHIRAJ-I-ALAM THE WORLD'S LARGEST RUBY. [Newspaper Article] — Seymour Express and Goulburn Valley Avenel, Graytown, Nagambie, Tallarook and Yea Advertiser — 30 January 1914
KHIRAJ-I-ALAM THE WORLD'S LARGEST RI UBY. The world's largest and most famous ruby is 'hat known as the Timur ruby, the Oriental name of which is Kiuiraj , Alam, "Tribute'of the World." liii is the largest spinel ruby known, weigh ing a bit over 352 carats uncut!but pol ished. It is thought to have come from one of the old ruby mines of Ilad ahshan.. This famous jewel has had a ";t and most romantic history. The earliest records concerning it indicate thait :t was seized, together with many other precious stones, by the Ameer i ?:r,. commonly called by European histor ians Tamerlane, when he plundered Delhi in 1398. At. his death the ruby descended to his son. Mir Shah Rukh, and in due time to his son and successor Mirza -Ulugh Beg. At this period, however. the Tartar Empire was on the verge ol .dissolution. - During one of- the wars between the Tartars and the Persians. the ruby fell into the hands of the Kings of Iran. Shah Abbas I., th greatest of the Safavi kings of Persia who a...
AN APPROPRIATE PRESENT. [Newspaper Article] — Seymour Express and Goulburn Valley Avenel, Graytown, Nagambie, Tallarook and Yea Advertiser — 30 January 1914
AN APPROPRIATE PRESENT. With the air of one who has not a moment to spare, she bustled into a bookshop. "I want a book for my husband, please," she began. "It's his birth day, and I want it for a present. He'll be twenty-five next week so show me quick what you have I want nothing expensive, nor yet cheap. Ho's a mind mannered man, and not.fond of sports; so don't show me anything .in. that line ; and for goodness sake don't offer me any of those trashy novels; and no matter how you may try to persuade me, I won't have anything in tlp line of his tory or biography. Come, I am in a burry. Can't you suggest something suitable.after 1 have told you what kind of a husband he is?" The assistant lifted down a small val ume from one of the shelves. "Yes ma'am," he answered; '"1 think I have the very thing. Here is a little book entitled 'How to Mannes a Talking Machine.' "
HOUSEHOLD HINTS. [Newspaper Article] — Seymour Express and Goulburn Valley Avenel, Graytown, Nagambie, Tallarook and Yea Advertiser — 30 January 1914
HOUSEHOLD HINTS; When cleaning windows, add two tablespoonfuls of vinegar to the water and the windows will remain clean and bright longer. Before applying blacklead to a greasy grate, remove all soot from the back of the grate with a pad of soft cloth. It can then be polished quickly and easily. To prevent children's cotton or mus lin clothes from catching fire, add one ounce of alum to the last water in which they are rinsed. This will make them quite non-inflammable. To prevent rusty grates, mix the blacklead with turpentine instead of. water. Give a good coat of this, pol ish well, and the grate will retain a beautiful brilliancy for an indefinite time. When curtain-pins have been in use for some time they are apt to become rusty. . To remedy this,'let them stand for a few minutes in a cup of water to which h little ammonia has been added. Then take out and rub well. Home-made Self-raising Flour. Self-raising flour can be made at home by mixing one ounce of cornfllour, half an o...
MULCHING. [Newspaper Article] — Seymour Express and Goulburn Valley Avenel, Graytown, Nagambie, Tallarook and Yea Advertiser — 30 January 1914
SMULCHING. The farmer zealously conserves mois ture in his land by means of fallowng, but the amatteur gardener is not so ready to profit from the lesson as he should be. Yet there is profit in the business for the better aeration of the soil, the tendency to promote deepes rooting of the plants, and the preven. tion to a large extent of evaporation increases yields, and gets the maximum amount of good from the minimum ol moisture. Cultivation first and last is indispensable; ned it is the cheapest. form of mulching. To novices in horticulture the term "mulching" is a technical expression that often proves puzzling. Yet as was recently pointed out on.the Lon don "Daily Telegraph" it is one oi the most indispensable of practices in connection with the cultivation of cer tain plants. To mulch is to cover the surface of the soil with some non-con ducting material in order to conseve the strength, heat, and moisture of the earth, and guard the roots of plants from injurious extremes of ...
PROVED HIS CONTENTION. [Newspaper Article] — Seymour Express and Goulburn Valley Avenel, Graytown, Nagambie, Tallarook and Yea Advertiser — 30 January 1914
PROVED HIS CONTENTION. The mother wes at the zoo with her little boy, and the boy said: "Mother, come and see the.dangeroos." The mother corrected him, saying, "Not dangeroos, dear-kangaroos." "No, mother dear," said the boy; "they are dangeroos. Come and I'll show you." . . - ie led his mother to where there was this notice on the cage of some animals. "These I 'imals are Dangerous,"
DURABILITY OF A HORSE. [Newspaper Article] — Seymour Express and Goulburn Valley Avenel, Graytown, Nagambie, Tallarook and Yea Advertiser — 30 January 1914
DURABILITY OF A HORSE. A horse will travel 400 yards in 4i minutes at a walk, 400 yards in two minutes at a trot, and 4iU yards in one minute at a gallop. . The usual work of a horse is taken at 22,500 lb. raised one foot per minue for eight hours per day. A horse will carry 250 lb. 25 miles per day- of ight hours. An average draught horse will draw 1600 lb. 23 milea -per day on a level road, weight of waggon inoluded. The average weight of a horse is 1000 lb; his strength is equal to that of five men. In a horse mill, moving at three feet per second, track 25 ft. diameter, he exerts with the machine the power of 4} horses. The greatest amount a horse can pull in a horizontal mone is 900 lb.; but he can only do this momentarily; in continued exertion probably half of this is the limit. He attains his growth in five years, will live 25, average 16 years. A horse will live 29 days on water without solid food, 17 days -without eating or drinking, but only five days on solid food withou...
NEEDLESS ALARM. [Newspaper Article] — Seymour Express and Goulburn Valley Avenel, Graytown, Nagambie, Tallarook and Yea Advertiser — 30 January 1914
NEEDLESS ALARM. Anr old German farmer entered tile olfice ut a whloles~lo druggist one morn nlg, and addressed the proprietor : "Alster Becker, I lave tier imanll pox--" "Mlhercaiul heavens, Mr. Jacobs " ca claimed necker, as tae ollice toure -irambled over each otner - in tiell uurry to get out, "doun' come any nearer." V oVu's der madder init you lellers, anyhow " quietly replied dacubs. ""i say I haf der schmall pox of butter ouat in mine waggon, vot lirs. Becker ul Lurcld las' week alreaty."
PART MOURNING. [Newspaper Article] — Seymour Express and Goulburn Valley Avenel, Graytown, Nagambie, Tallarook and Yea Advertiser — 30 January 1914
PART MOURNING. An Irishman walked .into a men's furnishng goods store the other uay and said: "'&h want to get somethin' ler mournin' wear, but 0 don't exactly know wnlt the coostom is. What uu they be wearn' now for mournm?" "it depends," exelaimed the sales man, 'on how near the relative is for whom you wish to show ihis mark uo respict. For a very near relative you shodid have an au black suit. For some one not so near you may have a broad band of black on the lest arm or a somewhat narrower one for some body more distant." "Uch I Is that it? Well, thin, giunme a shoestrmg. It's we wollu's mither.." Little Dot (aged five): * Mamma, huRk and I got married this morning." Mamma: ".You uid, did you? Who periormed the ceremony ?" 'I" don't kliow .wnac you're talkmlg about." "Well, how did you pretend that you were married?" "Uh, why, I got my dishes an' set the table, an' then we both sat down, an' he said there wasn't a thing lit to eat; an' I said he was a brute, an' he went...
MAKING THE BEST OF IT. [Newspaper Article] — Seymour Express and Goulburn Valley Avenel, Graytown, Nagambie, Tallarook and Yea Advertiser — 30 January 1914
MAKING THE BEST OF iT. A lady employed a very ignorant Irish servant, who would not rise 10 the morning at a sufficiently early hour, so an alarm olock was bought and presented to her with the follow lug words:--"You know, Bridget, that 1. require the. fire lighted every morn ing by seven o'clock, but I cannot get you to do it, so I have bought you this alarm clock." Bridget examined the timepiece carefully,. and alter a few minutes' silence said, " Thank you, mum, it's very pretty. But fancy a thing like that being able to light a fire, mum."
HOW SMUGGLERS DEFRAUD THE CUSTOMS. [Newspaper Article] — Seymour Express and Goulburn Valley Avenel, Graytown, Nagambie, Tallarook and Yea Advertiser — 30 January 1914
HOW SMUGGLERS DEFRAUD THE CUSTOMS. Probably in no other cause good. bad, or indifferent-is such in genuity on the part of the perpetra tor shown as in that of smuggling. A very smart dodge was that re sorted to by a charming young lady some years ago. On being asked by a Customs House officer whether she had anything to "declare" she laughingly renlied. "Well, my port. manteau there is crammed full of the most lovely black lace. which forms a safe nest for two dozen of old French brandv: my bonnet-box contains nothing but Havana cigars, Sand my dressing-case is a resting place for foreign perfumery. Other wise. I have nothing to declare." - The official was so much amused at what he considered a good joke that he sent the latv on shore with out troubling to examine her lug gage, which, he would have been surprised to find, contained exactly what the charming, though artful, voung lady had mentioned. Almost as wily was the military looking o? lcuitleman who arrived in England with wh...
GOOD FARM TOOLS ARE PROFITABLE. [Newspaper Article] — Seymour Express and Goulburn Valley Avenel, Graytown, Nagambie, Tallarook and Yea Advertiser — 30 January 1914
GOOD FARM TOOLS ARE PROF1TABLE. It is unnecessary to mention the value of machinery for the development of agriculture, for we are past: the stage when improved farm machines were looked-upon as doubtful investments. It is a known fact that the improved mnachine will give better results in pro ducts and in most cases show a profit upon the money invested in the ma chine. The type of farming carried on and the size of the farm determines Uhe amount one can invest in improved tools. There are too many farmers whc are afraid to invest in improved tools. Oftentimes a better plough would have paid for itself in one season, when la bor was scarce and the number of sea sonable days for ploughing few. De not be afraid to buy something and make it pay for itself, instead of try. ing to make enough to purohase it by half-way methods of farming. A da3 lost by breaking an old machine meant pounds lost in the busy season of the year. The number who buy more ma? ::hinery than their. farm warrants...
TEACHERS AND EDUCATION [Newspaper Article] — Seymour Express and Goulburn Valley Avenel, Graytown, Nagambie, Tallarook and Yea Advertiser — 30 January 1914
TEACHERS AND EDUCATION. The teachers in elementary schools should no longer form a class apart, specially trained and certificated for one object. The self-protecting spir it is apt to form a hedge through which generous and daring ideas hardly find a way. and there is little doubt .that the National Union of Tearchers. Which is practically con fined to elementary teachers, is large ly inspired by this self-protecting spirit. If such special treatment were abandoned. and all properly qualified teachers regarded as equal ly available for any school. the pro fession would take its fitting rank, and be sufficientl- wide to respond to the spirit of the time. The present division between elementary and so condary teachers and the compara tive isolation of the Universities great"ah limit the power of education, and the children in the elementary schools are the grea+~st sufferers. The surrender by Oxford -and Cam bridge of their position as leaders in national education is. I believe, one...
GERMANY'S LOUD LAUGH. HOAX ON A GREAT GARRISON. [Newspaper Article] — Seymour Express and Goulburn Valley Avenel, Graytown, Nagambie, Tallarook and Yea Advertiser — 30 January 1914
GERMANY'S LOUD LAUGH. 2 HOIAX ON A GREAT GARRISON. Not since the immortal raid on the ;own hall of Koeenick by the 'cob ,her "Captain"' Vogt has Germany a~Iuhe so loud or long as it has over .he "alarming" and full-dress parade if the garrison at Strasbourg, when 20.000 men turned out under arms upon receipt of a bogus telegram pur 'iorting to have come from the Kaiser The garrison waited for the arrive: of his Majesty for two hours. before the hoax was discovered. The perpetrator of the hoax, Aug ust Wolter. turns out to be a half. mad ex-sergeant, twenty-five years 9f age, who was recently discharged from the colors on account of alleged defalcations. He escaped punishment on the ground that he was mentally deficient, but he objected to being publicly branded as feeble-minded and bragged that it would not be long before he performed a feat which would show his superiors that he was still capable of doing wondrous thing The accounts differ regarding the exact manner in which he car...
GIFTS TO GUESTS. THE LATEST IN SURPRISE DINNERS. [Newspaper Article] — Seymour Express and Goulburn Valley Avenel, Graytown, Nagambie, Tallarook and Yea Advertiser — 30 January 1914
* GIFTS TO GUESTS. - THE LATEST IN SURPRISE DINNERS. The latest in freak dinners is-one Twhere guests are provided with gifts with each course. One such banquet was given in Belgravesquare recently by an American hostess. There were 2d guests, says the "Daily Mirror," and the gifts were dispensed as under: Bread.-When the guests broke their rolls of bread 'little silver toothpioks were found concealed inside. Soup.-This was served in dainty Sevres bowls with lids. When the liquid was poured into the soup plates the company were presented with the emity Sevree bowls.. Saish.-Here was a startling "sur prise." Boiled trout was served, and *or some time the guests could not dis cover anything unusual about the course. At last somebody found some trinkets concealed in the mouth of a trout. All the fish had rings, brooches and other .small articles of jewellery concealed in their mouths. "White" Entree (Sweetbread.)-No gifts discovered in this dish - a faot which the guests seemed to rese...
A 500-GUINEA DAIRY COW. A SENSATIONAL ENGLISH AUCTION. [Newspaper Article] — Seymour Express and Goulburn Valley Avenel, Graytown, Nagambie, Tallarook and Yea Advertiser — 30 January 1914
A 500-GUINEA DAIRY COW. A SENSATIONAT, ENGLISH AUC TION. -The remarkable sale of the late Mr George Taylor's Cranford herd of milking Shorthorns was -reported from London. A total of 184 cows. calves and heifers aggregated £15,187, aver aging £83/18/1. while six bulls aver age £511/9 each. The highest price was 500 guineas, which- was paid by Sir Gilbert Greenall for a seven-year old cow. This cow, Waterloo Baron ess, had a milk record of 10.145 --lb from 1tt October, 1909. to .30th Sep tember.- 1910; 11,401 lb, 1st October to 30th September; 1911: 10.2161. lb 1st- October, 1911, to 28th. August. 1912. One of the London stock pap ers speaks of her, as "a charming cow of great scale, and with a really mag nificent udder. She drew persistent and sustained bidding, being regarded as the best' cow, from a purely dairy point of view, and combhinng this with wonderful Shorthorn character and back breeding that was irreproach able.. It was not surprising that only great persistence and a l...