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MORE EPITAPHS ON THE KAISER. [Newspaper Article] — Richmond Guardian — 3 February 1917
MORE EPITAPHS ON THE KAISER. Here lies the German Emperor. Oh, sing a joyful song! The Pearly Gates won't let him in, And Hell won't stand him long. "Me and God could.mot get along, For I was fight and:He was wrong." Here lies Kaiser Wilhelm in his last, long sleep. Tears cannot call him back. There fore we weeal Here lies Great Wilhelm-friend of God. It grieves one's heart" - To think of friends: now forced to dwell So far apart! His days of "Mie and Gott" are past. Bill's on the firing line at .last. Here lies Bill, the Kaiser. Leaves his people sadder "Budweiser." Here lies the Kaiser. Since he died The Lord can't tell which way to side. "Does your husband go out to smoke between the acts?" "No, he comes in to watch the play between drinks."-"Froth." SYou'd better be joking than kick: ing or croaking; you'd better be say ing that life is a joy; then folks will caress you and praise you and bless you,,and-say you're a peach--and. .g broth of a boy.-Walt Mason.. He: was a lad of ex...
TRUE, TOO! [Newspaper Article] — Richmond Guardian — 3 February 1917
: TRUE, TOO!. STalking about humorous stories, has auything more humorous ever occur red in Australian journalism than the incident wherein a well-known Parlia mentary reporter in Sydney, after much -conviviality and a period of drowsiness, rose in his place in the press gallery and roared: "I move that the House adjourn for forty b- years."-Australasian "Journalist."
Advertising [Newspaper Article] — Richmond Guardian — 3 February 1917
IGIVE T M SOMETHING THY V SCANNOT B UY (ELSEWHERE) AN "INPOCO" ENLARGEMENT The permanent, lasting present and something that always keeps memory green. WORKS OF ART. OUR NEWEST!LAG AND CROSS." Melbourne in general, Miniatures from any and Richmond in particu lar, now know that our photo, complete with a Enlargements are faithful, gold-cased Pendant, Sole Proprietors in the true to the original. 5/6 each Commonwealth of the Artistically executed, fram ed and mounted. They're This item for a short Soldier's Memorial. superior. period only. The InternatioalI Take Note of WRITE and we will call. OUR ONLY ADDRESS. L.. A . La n oyo 'Phone Central 1430 and (L. A. & H. A. Livingston) we will call; or CALL YOU WANT IT. 434 BRIDGE ROAD yourself. It will interest __ (Between Fraser and you. Hunter Streets) Richmond. We are the Originators of this System.l We reverse the old problem of PAY to-day WE and TRUST to-morrow. WE TRUST you to-day and YOU PAY EVERY WEEK BOOTS & SHOES at...
No Children Admitted Alone During Crown Season of Where Are My Children?—Free Tickets to be ?Issued to Them This Week for Special Afternoon Screening of Serial. [Newspaper Article] — Richmond Guardian — 3 February 1917
No Children Admitted Alone During Crown Season of Where Are My Children?-Free Tickets ito be Is sued to Them This Week for Spe. cial Afterncon Screening of Serial. Patrons of the Crown who have not seen the present bill should avail themselves of the opportunity to do so at the performances this after noon and evening. It is particularly strong, for it includes Wm. S. Hart in On the Night Stage and Olga Pe trova in My Madonna. Barriers of Society, a Red Feather feature of more than average force and interest will be the star on Mon day. The Peg o' the Ring serial grows more popular with each instal ment, as does its pretty little hero ine, played by Grace Cunard. Epi sode 3 will be included in the pro gramme. A Paramount feature, entitled The Italian, will be submitted on Thurs day. George Beban, who plays the lead, stands out alone as a charac ter man. He will be remembered here for his work in Two War Wives, where, as Pasquale, he won hosts of friends, both for himself and. the ol...
Mr. Cotter Again Selected for Richmond — Old Member Has Big Majority. [Newspaper Article] — Richmond Guardian — 3 February 1917
Mr. Cotter Again Selected for Rich mond - Old Member Has Big Majority. As expected, Mr. Cotter easily won the Labor selection ballot for the Richmond seat in the State Assem bly last Saturday. Mr. ., J. Cotter, the sitting member, was opposed by Mr. J. J. McDonald, of the Liquor Trades Union, and Mr. J. M. Sheehan, of the Railways Union. It was gener ally understood that the chief reason for the opposition to Mr. Cotter was his action in voting for the closing of hotels at 6 o'clock. There were many allegations that the Richmond branch of the P.L:C. had been inflated in liquor trade interests, but this did not affect the present issue, as the new members had not been long enough in the branch to be eligible to vote at the selection, and the chances of Mr. Cotters opponents were further de creased by the fact that neither the Hotel Employes' (Male) Union, nor the Victorian Railways Union had af filiated with the P.L.C.; their mem bers, consequently, could not vote. Mr. Cotter won eas...
ANNOTED PROVERS. (With special reference to War conditions.) [Newspaper Article] — Richmond Guardian — 3 February 1917
ANNOTATED PROVERBS. (With special reference to War conditions.) "There is no use crying over spilt milk." Of course not, with milk at 6d. a quart! The only thing to do is to scoop up as much as possible as quickly as you can. "Time is money." Yes, by Jove! and what's more, so is Overtime. "It takes nine tailors to make a man." That was before the War. One Military tailor will do the trick to day. "The pen is mightier than the sword." Well, perhaps-if you are bent on maintaining a strict Note-rality. Diner: Isn't this rather a small steak? Waiter: Yes, sir; but you'll find it will take a good while to eat it! He 'was a substitute camera man, and she was an "extra" maid. He spoke his love to his turtledove in the language of their trade. "Oh, .dearest one, will you marry me, and be my guiding star? You play in my soul a leading role, and the queen of my heart you are. I register bliss at the thought of your kiss, and I dream through the tinted nights of my love, that is true and as wa...
From Various Sources [Newspaper Article] — Richmond Guardian — 3 February 1917
From Various Sources It looks more and more as if the Kaiser, who expected to bag the whole of Europe, would. have to be content, ultimately, with the last four letters. "What I want is a £45 house on two floors, of about ten rooms, no base ment, central heating, secluded, yet not---" "Ah, madam, you're but a stranger here. Heaven is your home!" "Winter's Pie."
East to West AUSTRALIA'S STEEL GIRDLE. BUILDING A GREAT RAILWAY. GIGANTIC SCHEME IN THE MAKING. Melbourne. [Newspaper Article] — Richmond Guardian — 3 February 1917
East to West AUSTRALIA'S STEEL GIRDLE. BUILDING A GREAT RAILWAY. GIGANTIC SCHEME IN THE MAKING. 1,"y Senator P. J. Lynch, Minister for Commonwealth Works and Railways. Melbourne. The Commonwealth railways hav ing been placed under my control as Miinister for Works and Railways, and much comment having taken place in Parliament and the press as to cer tain matters in connection with the carrying out of this great work, I de cided that I would personally inspect the line. With this object in view, I arranged to return from West Aus tralia overland, and accordingly left Kalgoorlie with a party and the ne cessary officials. This railway is unique in that there is civilisation at one end, Kal goorlie, and at the other end, Port Augusta, and practically nothing but uninhabited country for the 1056 miles intervening. Everything re quired has to be drawn from one end or the other, and much of the ma terial brought from Kalgoorlie had originally to be carried by rail from Fremantle. It will ...
The SEED of EMPIRE Published by Arrangement with Ward, Lock & Co., London & Melb. CHAPTER LII. The Next Day. [Newspaper Article] — Richmond Guardian — 3 February 1917
The SEED of EMPIRE By FRED M. WHITE, Author of "The Day," "The Crimson Blind," "The Law of the Land," "The Corner House," etc. Published by Arrangement with Ward, Lock & Co., London & Melb. CHAPTER LII. The Next Day. It was just before dawn next day that the Germans made their initial attempt to recover the ground they had lost at Neuve Chapelle. This first counter-attack was promptly driven off with heavy loss, and the retreating Germans were pursued until they fell back on their machine gun strongholds in the farm-houses on the Pietre road. It was a costly proceeding for the Germans, espe cially for the reinforcements, which were shelled heavily ty our artillery as they advanced through the wood; indeed, for days afterwards the en emy were observed bringing out their dead from the undergrowth and bury ing them in the field behind. All that day, too, the Germans heavily bom barded the British lines, but alto gether without effect. During the whole of that day and th...
AIR-GUN DANGER. (To the Editor.) [Newspaper Article] — Richmond Guardian — 3 February 1917
AIR-GUN DANGER. (To the Editor.) Sir,-The latest letter on the above subject has cleared the atmosphere completely, because no air-gun made would take a shot as big as a large pepper-corn; it must have come out of a pea-shooter, or the kind of gun used by Mr. Litchfield to shoot spar rows and pigeons with at Bellarine. As "Dreamy Daniel" does not suit his literary taste, perhaps he has heard of Solomon, who quotes, "get wisdom; and with all thy getting get under standing." His understanding of shot is still nil, as there is no such size made as No. 0. His acquaintance on the tram must have swallowed one of the Pharaoh's serpents referred to in his letter, and had a bad night, which accounted for his lateness at the office. It surely was a-case for the ambu lance. The patient must have cried out, "Get off my nose, I canrxot breathe." Despite the protests, there will be as many air-guns sold next Christmas and as many sparrows and pigeons shot at Bellarine. Yours, etc., Swan Street. H...
OPEN COLUMN RICHMOND PRE-SELECTION BALLOT. (To the Editor.) [Newspaper Article] — Richmond Guardian — 3 February 1917
OPEN COLUMN RICHMOND PRE-SELECTION BALLOT. (To the Editor.) SSir,--I hope you will permit me space to comment upon certain state ments which wer'e made in your issue of January 20. Firstly you say that ."it is common knowledge that the local branch of the P.L.C. has been greatly inflated-in membership," and you leave your readers to infer that this was done with the object of defeating Mr. Cot ter at the pre-sgection ballot., This shows either a remarkable lack of knowledge on your part or a desire to mislead your readers. I take it that you spoke from want of knowledge. kre you aware that a member of the P.L.C. must be a financial member of that body for twelve months before being entitled to vote at the pre-selec tion ballot? The official list of the P.L.C. contains three hundred mem bers to-day, but only 134 of those were entitled to vote at the ballot, show ;ng that, if there has been an "infla tion" of the membership, it was not ?ie to an intention of defeating Mr. Cotter at th...
RIVERSDALE TRAMWAY PARK. IDEAL SPOT BECOMES PROPERTY OF TRAM TRUST. NO REAL EFFORT YET MADE TO CATER FOR PUBLIC SIGN-BOARDS, SHORT EXTENSION AND OTHER FACILITIES REQUIRED. [Newspaper Article] — Richmond Guardian — 3 February 1917
RIVERSDALE TRAMWAY PARK. IDEAL SPOT BECOMES PROPERTY OF TRAM TRUST. NO REAL EFFORT YET MADE TO CATER FOR PUBLIC SIGN-BOARDS, SHORT EXTENSION AND OTHER FACILITIES RfEQUIRED. Some time ago; through the good offices of Cr. W. G. McBeath, J.P., of Camberwell, a magnificent piece of un dulating country, 137 acres in extent, was secured to-the eastern metropolis as a permanent park. In due season, all legal formalities were complied with, and the property vested in the Hawthorn Tramways Trust to be de veloped for the benefit of the people. The official reports (which seldom travel beyond the narrow confines of officialdom) depict tersely the main features of the deal as to cost, posi tion and prospective value from the view-point of a business bringer to the trust's funds. Nothing, however, has yet been done to acquaint the public mind of the priceless boon that the public-spiritedness of Cr. McBeath placed within reach. The municipali ties of Melbourne, Richmond, Haw thorn, Camberwell an...
Free Concerts at Cross Streets by Richmond City Band—First Programme at Coppin and Wall Streets on Tuesday Evening, and Next at Richmond Terrace-Lennox Street on Thursday. [Newspaper Article] — Richmond Guardian — 3 February 1917
Free Concerts at Cross Streets by Richmond City Band-First Pro gramme at Coppin and Wall Streets on Tuesday Evening, and Next at Richmond Terrace-Lennbx Street on Thursday. Under -the agreement with Rich mond Council, whereby a small sub sidy is paid to the band, five free con certs will be given during this and next month. Residents of the neigh borhood are invited to have chairs, etc., in readiness for their own com fort on-Tuesday, February 6, 8 ppm., at Coppin and Wall streets; Thurs day, February 8, 8 p.m., at Richmond terrace and Lennox-street. Also February 28, at Burnley and Murphy streets; March 6, at Green street; March , , Elizabeth and Len nox streets.
Balmain v. Postmen. [Newspaper Article] — Richmond Guardian — 3 February 1917
Balmain v. Postmen. The Balmain-Richmond Letter-Car riers game on A.N.A. Day was an en joyable affair. Scores were: Richmond Letter Carriers 202 (Keating 97, Tynes 66, Coleman four for 29, Cunningham three for 33). Balmain eight for 209 (Cunningham 63 not out, McNeil 47, Whitehead 17, Coleman 13, Johnston 10; Keating three for 46, Tynes two for 26, Gault two for 40). Balmain won by three wickets. Balmain meet Harmony on the Carl ton Oval to-day. Players and suppor ters to meet at Richmond station at 2.
Mascottes v. Bacchus Marsh. [Newspaper Article] — Richmond Guardian — 3 February 1917
Mascottes v. Bacchus Marsh. Richmond Mascottes visited Bac chus Marsh for the week-end and had an enjoyable time. The cricket match arranged between J. Ross' team and C. Borne's team ended in a draw. Tea was served at Host Mate's, and the usual smoke concert took place. Sev eral locals contributed towards the programme. "Doc." Higgins amused the company with "Parted My Hair in the Middle." To-day Mascottes play Burnley at Survey Paddock, members to be on the ground at 2.45.
Wallbridge's v. Erratics. [Newspaper Article] — Richmond Guardian — 3 February 1917
Wallbridge's v. Erratics. Teams from Wallbridge's big list of lorry drivers and from the Erratic C.C., comprising the Food and Fodder Drivers, had a holiday outing at Ep ping on Monday. Walibridge's men pulled together in tug-of-war style and won by six wickets. Scores: Wall bridge's 100 and four for 111. Erra tics 136 and 27. Best with the bat were G Pearson 37 not out and 72 not out, Russell 17, J. Egan 23.. Baker 31, Cleary 18, Timewell 48. With the ball:-Captain H. Russell took nine wickets for 42, G. Pearson six for 43 and J. Egan three for 24. Another fine score was hit up by 3. Egan at the banquet, which.follow ed the game; His cuts-at the jelly were fast and of the "well-finished" order. There was a real competition in the fruit line, "Lizzie" winning on the plums, "Gap" on the tomatdes and Timewell on the passion fruit. J. Pearson played "Ould Lang Syne" on his old accordeon-and, "good night," said the fox. It was a happy day.
Richmond School Children Will Have Free Picnic at Hampton on Third Tuesday in March.—Railway Fares to Come From Mayoral Allowance. [Newspaper Article] — Richmond Guardian — 3 February 1917
Richmond School Children Will Have Free Picnic at Hampton on Third Tuesday in March.-Railway Fares to Come From Mayoral Allowance. Meeting in the town hall on Thurs day night, citizens who have previ ously identified themselves with school picnics decided that the outing should again be held this year. Mayor Fear offered to pay the railway fares of the children to Hampton, and it was agreed to hold the picnic there on March 20. Mayor Fear was elect ed chairman and Mr. J. D'Altera and Mr. H. Schooling vice-presidents. Mr. W. J. Rofe is secretary pro tem, but business calls may prevent him from being so active this year. Other office-bearers will be elected at a fur ther meeting in the Town Hall on Tuesday evening at 8. All citizens are invited.