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A PUNSTER'S POLITENESS. [Newspaper Article] — Rutherglen Sun and Chiltern Valley Advertiser — 16 January 1914
A PUNSTER'S POLITENESS. Mr. Saxe, tho American joker and poet, once became acquainted on a steamer with a lively young lady, to whom lie made himself very agreeable. "Good-bye, Mr. Saxe i said tho young lady at jjarting. "1 fear you will soon be forgetting mo." "Ah, my dear young lady," said the inreterato punster, "jf I wero not a married man already you may bs sure I'd be for getting youl" Mickey and Dennis were working in a garden near a beehive and a bed of onions when a beo stung Dennis on tho wrist. "I ill ways told yez whin ye got a sting av a beo to suck it and thin rub in onion juice," said Mickey. After a short time a beo lodged on Mickey's neck. '•'Oh, Dennis, there's wan on me neck!" ho shouted. "Oh, 'tis gomno down between mo shoulders I I'm stung I" "Suck it, Mickey I" ordered Dermis. "Suck it. and I'll rub in the onion juice 1" Teacher. What is tho proper time to gather apples, Johnny? Johnny: When the fanner's dog is tied up.
Church Notices. [Newspaper Article] — Rutherglen Sun and Chiltern Valley Advertiser — 16 January 1914
Church Notices. Viticultural College.-r-Servica will bo held this Friday evening, at 7.S0 p.m., Methodist. Services will be held on Sunday as under:— Roman Catholic.—Mass will be cele brated as follows :— Rutherglen — 8 a.m., Rev. Father 8mith, P.P. Church of England.—St. Stephen's.—• Rutherglen—8 a.m., H.C.; 10 a.tu., Rector's Class; 11 a.m., Morning Prayer and address, preacher The Rector ; 3 p.m., Sunday School; 7-30 p.m., Evening Prayer, preacher The Rector. Cornishtown.—*2.IS p.m., Sunday School'; 8 p.m., Divine Service, Rev Edwards Great Southern. — '2.15 p.m., Sunday School, Mr Read. Presbyterian. — Rutherglen—11 a.m., " Discipleship," ; 7.30 p.m., " God's Way of Salvation," Mr H. Penman. Lillipufc —3 p.m., Mr Penman. Congregational. — Wahgunyah — 11 a.m., Rev T. S. Williams. Rutherglen. —7-80 p.m., Rev T. S. Williams. Subject, " The Gentlemen of God." Lake.—8 p.m., Rev T. S. Williams. Methodist.— Rutherglen.— 11 a.m., and 7.30 p.m., Rev G. F. Dyson, morn ing subject " The Fa...
MORTICIANS. [Newspaper Article] — Rutherglen Sun and Chiltern Valley Advertiser — 16 January 1914
MORTICIANS. Long ago, -when man departed from this earth to face his Maker, then his loved ones, broken-hearted, called the village undertaker; now when man's in that' condition, dead as death can ever make him, people summon the morti cian to embalm and undertake lrim. When my beard begins to harbor wrens and robins, great and lesser, I consult the nearest barber, not tonsorial pro fessor. "When I havosoino news that orter printed be, to stir men's wonder, I rin»: up a good reporter—not a jour nalist, by thunder! When "the sur geon and physician do their worst and leave me dying I will murmur: "No mortician round my carcasc shall come prying! When_ I'm 'cmriod to God's acre, sen tho doings are conducted by a. cood old undertaker on old-fasbioned lines constructed I" How. I hate these fancy handles, men ndopt, to soothe their vitals ; they are nut, dull-witted vandals ■who reject time-honored titles. Ho is safest, sanest, smartest, who cs ehewa all soundinc lingo; do not claim to-bo...
GENERAL CABLE NEWS. [Reuter's Telegrams.] MOTOR DUTY CASES. LONDON, Jan. 14. [Newspaper Article] — Rutherglen Sun and Chiltern Valley Advertiser — 16 January 1914
GENERAL CABLE NEWS. [Router's Telegrams.] MOTOR DUTY CASES. London, Jan. 14. The motor duty prosecutions were continued to-day, when Mr A. M. Kauff mann,. secretary of Fitzgerald, Stokes and Co. Proprietary Limited, of Mel bourne, and tyr G. A, Combe, shipping agent, o? Port Adelaide, gave formal evidence. Mr Houghton, who was for merly in the employ of Toiser, Kempley and Fisher Jjimited, is the last witness for the prosocution. He identified a number of initials in the signatures to documents submitted as evidence. The hearing was further adjourned till Mon day.
Advertising [Newspaper Article] — Rutherglen Sun and Chiltern Valley Advertiser — 16 January 1914
SOROSE3 HAIK TONIC. ThU preparatiqn io UNSURPAS8EU ag a HAIR FQQD ana DANDRUFF preventv tive. A lit tle Bpripkiccf on the'head uig'nt and ftioFnipg. and gently massaged into the Boalp, renders BALDNESS impossible, SOROSES HAIR TONIC will absolutely grow hair, and prevent it from falling out. It imparts a beautiful gloaay sheen, and bringa out all the natural lirightneis of the hair. Price H/6. Obtainable at I). (?. Hamilton's General S^nre.' Extracts from " The Life of the fly,'; by Jean Henri Fabre, should be of value to those Australians who, far from the poiflforta of civilisation, are put to afc titles to keep' tfcs b|ow-$y fro'm tijeij iood,
CHAPTER. V. [Newspaper Article] — Rutherglen Sun and Chiltern Valley Advertiser — 16 January 1914
CHAPTER. V. There was no need to quit tuo Town Hall to roach the police-station, and presently Queenie found herself in a room with Joynson Palmer ami a couplo of police-inspectors. Quito me chanically she noted an array of high ly-polished handcuffs and leg-chaiiis over the mantelpiece A window in one frail looked out on the station hall. It wis tlio inspectors' room, and the door opened into .1 corridor lined on either side with cells. There was a faint odor of disinfectants in the air. "Beg pardon, miss," said one of the inspectors, "but you mustn't discuss the rights and wrongs of the case with Mr. Stanmoro. He said something under his breath to his colleague, who quitted tho room. His feet rang ochoingly on tho stone flags of the corridor. Joynson Palmer strolled to tho window looking out in to the station hall, stared out, and blew, rather than whistled, a tuno from comic opera. Somehow it afford ed his human feelings relief. Though he was a solicitor, he possessed them. Queen...
INTERSTATE CRICKET. VICTORIA v. NEW SOUTH WALES. [Newspaper Article] — Rutherglen Sun and Chiltern Valley Advertiser — 16 January 1914
INTERSTATE CRICKET. VICTORIA v. NEW SOUTH WALES. The selection committee of the Vic torian Cricket Association has chosen the following team to represent Victoria against New South Wales :— W. W. Armstrong (M.C.C.), capt. P. Baring (East Melbourne). E. V. Carroll (East Melbourne). T. J. Matthews (East Melbourne). C. Kiernan (Fitzroy). E. A. McDonald (Fitzroy). H. Bracher (North Melbourne). 11. L. Park (University). A. Lampard (Richmond). W. Sewart (Carlton). W. Carkeek (Prahran). J. Ryder (Collingwood). The selection committee of the Vic torian Cricket Association, having been informed that E. A. McDonald, of Fitz roy, will not be able to play in Sydney, have chosen F. Lugton (Northcote) in his place. It ih probable that V. S. Ransford, who has recovered from his illness, will be able to play. If so, he will be included in the team. At a meeting of the Beechworth Cricket Club a letter was read from the seoretary of the Mount Ophir (Ruther glen) Cricket Club, stating that his team wa...
The Heart of a Girl. (All Rights Reserved.) CHAPTER IV. [Newspaper Article] — Rutherglen Sun and Chiltern Valley Advertiser — 16 January 1914
ffhe Heart of a Glrl.j By HENRY F/.Rfti&R, . I Sfcujlior "The Money-Lender,". "12i | Qu'iltri- Street," "Bondage," etc. j |; , (All Rights Reserved.) CHAPTER IV; - itfext morning Queeriie was mp &fc\say fireak. .Mrs. I rico camo in wtoec siio Sisai-d hor nrovMRg about. 1 thought I wouldn't vour father, -Queeule, to say gooa-fcya* to - you. Yv hat with shock rovorsca 1 be was qc-yte worn out iaat ' J AY hen -l£rs. Price, .&lt;bcooiK£ng more I s.achrj-mote, questioned, the ■wisdom-Qf.' ; :r- Queeuio .gtjlng to Hasted^ kuowin* i • -fcuSy "were at -Vaile's,'.sud Boeing ! that Sfete evening papers'\rouId"pro3)a-! hly ;C3Stain full information, Quecr.io ! xised 'uot words, and said eho wae go ing. ] Sfcs- was just leaving with Beryl, J ■ -®n6 had bidden her mother good-bye S nvfc&n. Philip shuffled from jus b«i a-tfsnj, "wearing a shabby overcoat ov«r ) 3j;s pyjamas; and wished lior good •ij'e. ; He was awfully sorry to worry nor I «t suc-h a time; but he h...
RUTHERGLEN WATERWORKS TRUST. [Newspaper Article] — Rutherglen Sun and Chiltern Valley Advertiser — 16 January 1914
RUTHERGLEN WATERWORKS TRUST* The-ordinary meeting;was held on Puesday evening. - Present:- Commissioners ' Qollings, Stewart, Aitken, Jasper, Bush, Ready and Huha. In the absence of the Chairman,"Com Qollings was voted to the chair. Com Aitken moved, and Com Jasper seconded, that the minutes, as read, ba received ; carried. A letter was read from Mr G. T. Bnlleid, asking permission to lay water on to his residence, stating that he was agreeable to pay the cost of the exten sion of pipes.—On the motion of Com Jasper, seconded by Com Gollings, the secretary was instructed to make in quiries in reference to the application ; also if the council could serve outside the area. Treasurer's Report. . The treasurer's report, showing a credit balance of .£499 lis, was received on the motion of Com Jasper, seconded by Com Stewart. Sergeant Allwood, inspector, reported that he had cautioned Beveral people against wasting water, and that if it occurred again they would be prosecuted without furt...
Advertising [Newspaper Article] — Rutherglen Sun and Chiltern Valley Advertiser — 16 January 1914
MARRIAGE 8. DUFF—BROWN, Miss Poppsy Brown, daughter of Mr J.' Tilley Brown, ex:M.E.R., was married at a Church of England in Melbourne en December 27th to Mr W. Duff, traveller for McNaughtin, Love Proprietary, Miss D, Byass, of Shepparton, waa. brideacnaid, and Mr M, P, Ryan, of Beech worth, beat man. MANNING—MYERS, On the 6th January very pretty wedding took place at St. Mary's Roman Catholic Church, Rutherglen. The happy couple were Mr John Manning and Misa Theresa Myers, third daughter of Mr and Mrs J. Myers, of Rutherglen. The bride, who was robed in a very pretty bridal costume, was given away by her father and attended by her sister, Miss Norah Myers, as bridesmaid ; the g,-oo,^a rnan was Mr P. McAulift'e. The Rey; Father Lawless lionducted the ceremony, As the bridal party wero leaving' tha church they were showered with rice and confetti, and afterwards drove to Thalma studios where a photograph . group of the bridal party was taken. The wedding breakfast was partaken of a|...
THISTLES IN NORTH OVENS SHIRE. [Newspaper Article] — Rutherglen Sun and Chiltern Valley Advertiser — 16 January 1914
THISTLES IN NORTH OYENS SHIRE. Mr E. Welsh, Thistle Inspector, re ported haying served 72 notices • on oocupiers of paddocks infested with thistles. A few of them are badly infested, and will cost the owners a good sum to clean out. He did not think thistles were as bad this year as laut year. Ho served a notice on T. O'Callaghan, occupier of allot. 266, Agricultural land, and he informed him that fresh tenders are now being called for leasing it. The Inspector sent a notice to the Agricultural Council, but no reply had been received. Sweetbriar and saffron thistle are growing on the Ryawatha reserve, and Mr Shannon will cut them. He has arranged with D. O'Keeffe, at a cost of 6s, to cut star and saffron thistles growing on Eight Mile Swamp. He did not favor putting sheep in to eat off stinkworfc an it was not an effective method of eradication. The assistant thistle inspector, Mr D. Callon, reported having inspected the parishes of Boorhtunan, and found thistles numerous. Ho served...
IMPERIAL SERVICE MEDALS. LONDON, Jan, 14. [Newspaper Article] — Rutherglen Sun and Chiltern Valley Advertiser — 16 January 1914
IMPERIAL SERVICE MEDALS. London, Jan, 14. Imperial service medals have been granted as follows : — Queensland — Police sergeants Michael Connolly, IJd ward Tagg, Patrick Hardy, John Kelly, James McCathy, Hugh I^alone, and Jqhn O'ljrlen. Tasmania — Polioe-ser tjeants Oharles Cox, James Fitzpatrick, and Edward Plane. Fiji — Harbour master Wilson.