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Reducing Them to Silence. [Newspaper Article] — The Muswellbrook Chronicle — 1 January 1898
Stcducing Them to Silence. A certain English commodore, who had the misfortune to luse a leg in a. shark encounter, was beset wherever he went with questions, eager to know ho\y, when, and where he had met with his loss. Ho finally Invented an expedient for suppressing 1,(3 tormentors. He would promise to answer them one question, but only one, on the subject. The ques tion invariably wins, " How did you lose your leg- ?" and the invariable answer, " It was bit off," which, o£ course, left his hearers ten times more curious than ever. Francis Doalc, the Hungarian states man, used to_ rid himself of tiresome visitors in much the sumo way by telling them the following story Once, when in Paris, Napoleon paid a visit to a hospital for old soldiers. Among the inmates was an old man who had lost an arm. The Emperor asked him : " Where did you lose your arm V" " At Waterloo, sire." " Then, 110 doubt, you curse the Em peror and your country l'or your fate 7" " On the contrary," said the ve...
A Pretty Card Basket. [Newspaper Article] — The Muswellbrook Chronicle — 1 January 1898
A Pretty Card Basket. A Pretty card 'basket may thus be made. :. Procure, at a glass-cutter's or glazier's, six pieces of grouml glass, -lin. square ; and one piece for the bottom having six sides of 4in. each, to fix the six. pieces to. Each piece of glass is bound with coloured ribbon ; the ribbon sewn edge to edge, to fix the pieces toge ther ; the top of each joint finished with a*bow. -.The basket may be made more open by having the glass cut this shape, instead of square. To ornament the glass there are many ways. A pattern may !>e formed by painting it in copal varnish with a camel-hair ..brush. The pattern will be transparent or bright ; or, by dissolving red sealing-wax in a phial, with sufficient strong spirits of wine to render it as thick as gum, the pattern may be made with a camel-hair pencil, with a very pretty effect. A box may bo made with a lid, to match the bottom, and ornamented according to taste.
About Boots and Shoes. [Newspaper Article] — The Muswellbrook Chronicle — 1 January 1898
About Boots and Shoos. I have an idea that I have touched on this subject once before. A good story cannot, however, be too often told. AVe in tl>is country—women and men—are the worst and mosL awkward walkers in the world. This arises from the treatment our feet receive. Science that does so much for us seems to go no further down than our ankle joints. Therefore men limp and wriggle along the streets in a slip-slop fashion, suffering from corns, bunions, bad toe nails, and what is com moner than all, a kind of rheumatism, which is confined to the toes, and which we call tired feet for want of a better term. What are we going to do about it ? Is there something about the very trade of bootmaker that precludes any advance in his direction in the shape o£ science ? Something- has got to be done anyhow, and that before many years are over. I can only say here that neglect of the feet, coupled with badly fitting shoes, is to account for a very large share of the misery we endure in ...
Gingerbread Pudding. [Newspaper Article] — The Muswellbrook Chronicle — 1 January 1898
Gingerbread Pudding. Mix half'a pound of flour, quarter of a pound of suet, one teaspoonful of ginger, lutlf a pound of treacle, and candled peel to taste. Then add one egg and half a pint of milk, in which half a teaspoon ful of carbonate of soda has been dis solved, and boil in a mould for two and a half or three hours. This pudding is very nice if boiled Lhe full time.—From " Tasty Dishes."
Pith and Point. [Newspaper Article] — The Muswellbrook Chronicle — 1 January 1898
PiwVriiuI Point. If hours did' not linns heavy what would become of .scandal ? In persons-grafted in a serious trust negligence is a crime. We learn that ministers are seriously disturbed over -J.lie innovation known us the automatic coupler. A fish diet is said to be good for the brain. Probably this is because the fish go so often in schools. The most lonesome man in town is the one that has made liberal loans to his acquaintances. A recent sufferer says he does not be lieve any great deed was ever accom plished by, a man with a cold in his tir&lt;;i (1 " What a deal of good you must bo ' doing, Dr. 'Boanerges." " Yes ; we send more people to prison than any other two parishes in London put together." Whatever touches the nerves of motive, whatver shifts man's moral •iiosition, is mightier than steam, or caloric, or light ning. If you keep poultry, get on friendly terms with your iieiglibour as soon as possible. You ilon't know how soon your liens may wander into his garde...
Rather Mean. [Newspaper Article] — The Muswellbrook Chronicle — 1 January 1898
Ratlicr Mean. " Speaking' of dinners," sakl Hawkins, "reminds me of something 1 overheard in these very rooms not two nights ago. I always knew Snooks was of a saving nature, but I never believed that the fel low was downright moan." " How's that ?" asked Bluffkins in differently. " Well, it was like this. Tuesday night Snooks came in and began talking with Webb. ' I hear you are going away on Saturday,' Said Snooks." " ' Yes,' answered Webb, ' for three months." " ' And what are you doing to-morrow night ?' " • Wednesday r said Webb; 'I have no entjiiKLMiient for Wednesday." " ' Ami the next night ?' " ' That's Thursday. I dine with the Blakes on that day.' " ' Dear, dear ! That's a pity,' snid Snooks with a good ljluft' at disappoint ment. ' 1 wanted you to take dinner with us on Tluirsduy.' "
Washing Day! [Newspaper Article] — The Muswellbrook Chronicle — 1 January 1898
Washing Day! A few days since two young ladies hailed a tramcar, entered it, and found only standing room. One of them whispered to her companion : " I'm going to get a seat from one of these men. You just take notice." She looked down the row of men, and selected a sedate gentleman, who bore the general settled appearance of a mar ried man. She sailed up to him, and boldly opened fire : '• My dear Mr. Green ! How delighted I am to meet you '. You are almost a stranger ! AVill I accept your seat ? Well, I do feel tired, I heartily admit. Thank you so much The sedate gentleman, total stranger of course, looked, listened, then quietly rose and gave her his seat, saying as he did so : " Sit down, Jnne, my girl ; don't often see you out on washing-day ! You must feel' tired, I'm sure. How's your mistress ?" The young lady got her seat, but lost her vivacity.
Protection of Pockets. [Newspaper Article] — The Muswellbrook Chronicle — 1 January 1898
Protection of Pockets. The need of an efficient device for the protection of ladies' pockets from the light-fingered fraternity is, says " Inven tion," undeniable, and the latest addi tion to the number of inventions having for their object the protection of women's pockets is claimed to be admirably adapted for this purpose. It is composed of two pieces of finely-tempered steel, connected at each end with a cap. The steels are sewn on each side of the pocket, and the hand is easily passed through when the wearer desires to get at the contents. The device is light and in visible. As soon as the hand is with drawn the pocket vanishes, and, we should imagine, it would puzzle the deftest pickpockets to secure any booty without alarming the wearer.in good time of his intentions.
A CYCLIST'S ADVENTURE WITH A PRETTY GIRL. [Newspaper Article] — The Muswellbrook Chronicle — 1 January 1898
A CYCLIST'S ADVENTURE WITH A PRETTY GIRL. " I have a first-class '97 bicyclo for sale at bargain-countor liguros," was the ad mission ground through hi.? teeth by a swell Bociety bloke who holds himself irresistible with the fair sex. " What has happened now ?" " Been made a sucker of, that's all. Was taken in aa easy as the follow that goes all the way to .North Shore to. try and collect his lawful rights (money). Put on my most fetchiug uniform the other morning and look a spin on the road. Ten miles from town, if it's a rod, I encountered as pretty a little woman as you ever saw ; dainty from head to foot and full of snap. But she lmd broken the chain of hur wheel and four links were gone. 'Maiden in distress,' thought I, and was all gallantry. "There was a horso tethered to grass near by and I appropriated the rope, the steed kicking up his heels and starting toward Parramatta. While I was ad justing1 the rope to her wheel in order to tow her back to the city, a handaome looking...
EPITAPH ON A WATCHMAKER. Here lyeth [Newspaper Article] — The Muswellbrook Chronicle — 1 January 1898
EPITAPH ON A WATCHMAKER. Hero lyetli ' In a horizontal position the outside coso of Peter Wheelor, Watchmaker. His abilities woro an honour to his profession. Integrity wn'.-i tho Bljin spririg, uild Prurience tho 'Regulator of all the actions of hia life. Huuuney Genbrous, and Liberal, hia Hand noyjjr stopped until ho hud relieved distress. So nioely adjusted wore all Jiia motions that he never wont wrong, except vylien sot-a-going by people who did not llnow hia Key. Even than ho waa eaail; set right again. Ho had tho Ai t of depos ing of his Timo so well that his flours glided away in 0110 oontinuod round of Duty and Plouauro. Till an unlucky. Minuto put a period to'his existence. Ho departed this lifo fully wound up, in hopo of biting taken in hand by his Maker, and of being thoroughly cleaned, repaired, and set a-going in theAVorld tt> U01I10. A Ounious Watch.—A watch in the form of a shirt mud linn been /hndo byitn English nrtitmn. lis dial is two-sixtoontha i>f inch in ...
Household Hints. A Novel Idea. [Newspaper Article] — The Muswellbrook Chronicle — 1 January 1898
Household Hints A Novel Idea. Madame Christine Nilrison, the great singer, has discovered a new use for old receipted bills and sheets of music. Both are made to serve the purpose of wall papers, and oil the wall of her dining room are displayed the receipted bills of hotels, shops, &c., which She has received during her concert tours all over the world. A little study of these interesting records soon makes it evident that though great singers are very highly paid, they are obliged to live at ;i most extravagant rate. On the walls of Madame Nilsson's bedroom is pasted the music of most of the songs and parts which she has sung in the course of her career.
The Home. When May Engagements be Broken? [Newspaper Article] — The Muswellbrook Chronicle — 1 January 1898
The Home. When May Engagements be Broken? A promise to marry is too often a tiling lightly entered into. People un dertake to spend their future lives to gether with as little earnest; considera tion as if tliey were accepting a partner for a dance, and then they repent'of their bargain, ' or see some one they think they would like better, and so break off with as "much indifference :i pledge which is one of the most solemn things any one can possibly make. Hut should an engagement, tlieji, never be broken, whatever the circumstances V Ho far from this being the case, it is sometimes more meritorious to break an engagement than it is to keep it. Many tilings may arise which were altogether unforeseen at the time the engagement was made. For instance, a man's pros pects, good eiioiii^-li at tlio time to war rant liis asking any girl to share tlieni, may suddenly suffer such a change as to make it impossible l'or him to support a wife. Under these eircumstauc-'s honour requires him to...
Another Dog Story. [Newspaper Article] — The Muswellbrook Chronicle — 1 January 1898
Another Dog Story* i Mr. E. D. Nicol, of Sunderland, writes to the, " Newcastle Lender" as follows: —I have a rough-haired fox-terrier dog, by name Sam, who can do all sorts of tricks. He shuts the door, jumps through a hoop or over a stick, lies down " dead" at the word of command, sits up on his end, tosses a piece of biscuit from his nose and catches it in his mouth. He can be seen daily mounting two stairs for my " Leader" in a neighbour's office ; takes a message on a piece of paper in ■his mouth to any one in the house ; laughs like an old man ; and can say " Mamma" as plainly as any human being-. Clever as some of these things are, they were beaten to-day by the following- :—Sam sits at the front window every morn ing watching for the postman. To-day he saw him as usual, and ran off for the letters. He returned with one in his mouth, brought it to mo, and went and lay down again, while I resumed read ing my book. In two or three minutes he rose tip and went out of the room, a...
Women. What Great Thinkers Have Said About the Fair Sex. [Newspaper Article] — The Muswellbrook Chronicle — 1 January 1898
Women. What Great Thinkers Have Said About . ) the Fail* Sex. Some men cheat at cards ; all men cheat, in love.—Mine. Deluzy. No woman is all sweetness ; even the rose lias thorns.—Mmc. Recamier. As soon go kindle fire with snow, as seek to quench the fire of love with word s.—S h aksp ear e. Courtship consists in a number of quiet attentions, not so pointed as to alarm, not .'so vague as not to be understood.—Sterne. ■ A woman is more considerate in affairs of love than a man, because love is more the study and business of her life.— Washington Irving. ■ Women and men of retiring timidity are cowardly only in dangers which aiffect themselves, but are the first to ;hasten to the rescue when others are en dangered.—Richter. 'What woman would not perform a pain ful pilgrimage, if so she could but find her Jove, and then fall down and worship him. Alas ! the actual Jupiters are very scarce. Somehow the average man has missed the god-like proportions both in mind and stature.—Mary Clemm...
Politics in the Home. [Newspaper Article] — The Muswellbrook Chronicle — 1 January 1898
Politics in the Home. Imagine a man's wife his political foe ! Yet either this must not infrequently he the case or woman's vote would be a farce—a mere multiplication of lier hus band's or male relations'. Some excep tions there may be among women, sutii ciently unwomanly of nature to be able to form political or other convictions quite independently of their affections. They, fortunately, are the exceptions, •and long may they remain so ; but the mere dread of a man's wife becoming' one of them would be quite enough to deter many men from marriage. Again, imagine any man permitting an ordinary election agent to interview and argue with his wife alone! Imagine her character well blackened by political opponents! The thing is impossible! We^iear much of American example us to women's freedom. That nation proves the truth of my argument. The last census reveals the fact that 3,000,000 of men in America over thirty years of age have never been married ! Further. look iit divorce in Am...
The Mad Beethoven. [Newspaper Article] — The Muswellbrook Chronicle — 1 January 1898
The Mart Beethoven. All sorts of anecdotes arc told of Beethoven's peculiarities in domestic and social life—of Ills ordering dinners and never eating them, of his passing: in timate friends and never heeding them. Sometimes he was subjected to no little annoyance in these absent moods. Once, when deeply engrossed with the com position of a symphony, he wandered but on to the ramparts of Vienna., thinking j over the music. Ho wan grimily an noyed to find a host of small beys follow ing and laughing. He warned them oft", but they came again, and the composer could get 110 peace to Indulge in his grand | thoughts. At. length a l'liend met him, ;uid rem in (1 od him that ho was destitute! of hat ami neckcloth. His throat was bnre, and his lialr was blowing about in a keen cast wind. The boys watched the composer and his friend turn back Into the city, when one of the little urchins j snid, " There, I told you it was the mud I Beethoven." j
A Japanese Ambition; [Newspaper Article] — The Muswellbrook Chronicle — 1 January 1898
A Japanese Ambition; The Japanese seem determined (says the Indian " Engineer") to deserve the name of the Britons of the East, not only on account- of their prowess on land and sen, but also by the extent of their en gineering projects. The most ambitious of their projects is a railway across Asia to Constantinople, from which there is direct connection to all parts of Europe, liecent events may have made this pro posal more than a dream, and a sketch of its main features may be interesting to our readers. A paper W!is rClv(j on tlie subject by Mr. Taguehi, a member of the Japanese Parliament, at a recent meeting of the Economic Society of Toldo. Taking Peklri as the starting point, across China and on to Os, Polga, Samarkand, Pokhara, j\Ierv, Teheran, Bagdad, to Constantinople, although rising to 12,500ft. above sea level, the worst gradient would be X in 100 ; total length, 7GOO miles ; and cost, 7G5 million dollars.