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Title: Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Po... Delete search filter
Elephind.com contains 14,950 items from Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser, samples of which are listed below. All items from this newspaper title are freely available and can be searched from the search box above. You may also search the entire collection of 2,949 newspaper titles in Elephind.com.
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We are sure it would. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 25 July 1885

Wei x?isre it-would: A niarried lady recently sent a iote to a newisaper to get a recipe to sure thewhoop ing cough in a pair 6f twins. By a deplorable mistake U-recipe for pickling onions was un cons6iously inserted and- her name attached, and she received this answer through the "Answer to Oorrespondents :"-" Mrs. L. H. B.-If not too young, skin them pretty closely, immerse in scalding water, sprinkle plentifully with salt, and immerseithem for a veek in strong brine.": She. didn't.do it, however, as she thought it would kill the cough nineteen times out of twenty, and the children nine times.ouit of ten, ·

Publication Title: Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Vic, Australia
A Witty Retort. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 25 July 1885

A journalist recently' twrote` a ratherii n* favorable criticism of the performance of xanadctressl U .The'latter feit deeply wou?ded, and longed for a chance, to avenge herself., One ;evening 'at the theatre;, where she' was in company withli a fast? young fellow, she espied the*journalist in'question. She had a.package for him ,,which she requested her friehdto deli"er iiip?ersoh 'The dandy arose; aid;,takingtlie package from thp lady's hand, walked over. tothe journalist' and presented' it to hi??; saying:. -"Miss' , who ad mires 'yoiur talent;i h?bs requested me to pre. Tent-you-with- this-as-a souvenirfrom her." Thecritic',Fook they'package and opened it ;before -the cur s-eyes e'of bout trwety per-' sinswivho had heard the dihdy's little speech;i It oitained alabbiit2 a ,dozienigoose-quills. Siiile=' and' suppressed daughter followed. But the scribe ,was equal .to the occasion. " Ah, mydear sir;" said 'het6 the dandy, *'-' please givemy. best tlianlrks to the lady for these pr...

Publication Title: Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Vic, Australia
Newspaper Questions. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 25 July 1885

SNewspaper \Questions. The editor sat iniliis'sanctum, ,Regartding ilthsad, earne t eyes Thehdhige pile of "Qu'estioi "' his readers,, Had sent with demands for replies.: :" " Why;'these,";said the weary quill driver, " Would fill up arimoderite book, ; I'l publish.the .whole lot together,. '. And let the people see how they look 1" "' Who was it that.wrdte that sweet ditty '.Beginniig, 'I saw froi;rL- somewhere ?" "Pray tell me some certain:speeific 'For changing the color of hair I" ';What is the name of the author Of, :No, owe'll never; go home ?" "DidSh'aliseare write "Down in the Goal Mine ?'" -Who was the third Pope, of Rome, , "'Do:North Polar,fishes have feathers?? : Was ' Watt Tyler quartered or hung?" "Where .was tlhe first man cremated " "Who`waiit invented'the bung? " "'" D.buffalo ever'eat snauer'kraut ?' . ; <`" Where daa I-get some snails' hiorns?',, , ':Which-of the Muses played shortstop?'.:_ " DidBoinapaite ever have corns?..' "iDid-the..Piodigal Son use...

Publication Title: Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Vic, Australia
Walking Match Between a Men and a Horse. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 25 July 1885

, kWalkng, matc Between a man a and a Horse:1. About :'six years ago. the interesting :but -cruel-experiment-was tried which is.oap~ble~ of the greatest endurance-a horse or a man. The sporting men of Chicago raised some heavy stakes, and arranged, a trial as to which could walk the farthest in 14 days one of the best professional walkers or a thoroughbred horse. The betting was very heavy on the side of the horse, and as the match proceeded the odds were increased in its favour, Fbr the first few days the trial seemed a farce, and the whole thing seemed a joke to the outside world. About the fifth day the horse seemed 'to lag a little, but was'still ahead of the man.: On the sixth day the horse's feet became :'a'little sore, while the man's feet were apparently quite unaffected. About the seventh day the horse's legs began ito swell, and now for the first time the manii made up the distance ebual 'to his equine opponent. The odds began to turn the other way, and the owner of the ho...

Publication Title: Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Vic, Australia
That which is in a name. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 25 July 1885

That Which is in a name.: ; There is a tailor in Sydney:named ,J. Wisluzil. At the risk of giving him a gratis advertisement -we will tell him what ah, unintentional .but effectual. disturber. ,of domestic peace and happy hearthstones heis under certain circumstances.- ,It is not his fault. It is merely from the fact that .his name, "Wisluzil," was never made, to ibe pronounced. It was placed in the great dictionary of humanity merely to be looked at, like " obrmthorhynchus" or " syzigy"; to be mutely toiiched with a pointer by way: of reference for taken- out-now-and :then-and stood up on its end just to prove that there is such a thing; : :,Wialnzilhis a dangerous combination. It is the Royal Untamed Bengal Tiger in the Great Conversational Aggregation, and if you touch it, ladies and gentlemeni;you will get bit. - This is how : There was a gentleman at-a well known bar on Tuesday evening, a well known man in the furiituireline. ' He had on a new suit of clothes, fresh from the sh...

Publication Title: Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Vic, Australia
She agreed with him. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 25 July 1885

4 qi agireed withh im. S4A bhnevolent clergy.ia was' ar uing with afascinatingit !epticalyou??~widow, and 'nd?? voin g- instil ifito Sher, receptive ijnciia beef in the doctrines ofre~ aled re ligion. j:That ourjbeleftisnatnral Idiinecessary," lie'said -is-shown-ibyfthefaicttltat we in variably rely upon it in the times of pain or peril. When a man is in great trouble and :distress, he instinctively and invariably calls ijpoi ithe SacredNime."' - .. . " Thait is true," zthoughtfudlly eplied thie widow. " Whenever my de? James hai&td pile up a load of wood and it tumbled down on his?corns, he always swore so that it made my blood ra cold." p r s :I~

Publication Title: Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Vic, Australia
A CALIFORNIAN MILLIONAIRE'S STORY. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 25 July 1885

T Fro-fiif'Huto Palace. A CALIFORNIAW 'MILLIONAIRE'S : ::': : STORY. '! Well, that beats the Arabian's Nights all hollow," exclaimed a gentleman as he threw .aside his newspaper. "` But I don't believe Mackay has struck pay dirt this mite. Doesn't it seem fiunny' that a man who, twenty years ago, was shovelling ore for a few shillings a day, and glad to get work of any kind, should now be the father-in-law of a real live prince? Funny I Why, that's no namn for it; it's simply amazing. But I don't believe the 'deal will pay as big pro fits as :squeesing the holders of Sierra Ne :vada stock by the mild application of a fifty cent assessment on every share. However, Mackay is generally pretty level-headed, and with £25,000,000 in cold cash to back him, and his daughter a princess, I wouldn't wonder if he showed the Johnny Crapeaus in Paris how we used to make things hum in California and Nevada." " ""Are you personally acquainted with Mr. Mackay and his family,?" asked 'the reporter. -...

Publication Title: Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Vic, Australia
No Title [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 25 July 1885

m ewhoad beenthrq out of the window for cheating at cards, was coun. Selled by his friends";!never to play agai except onatheground foor.. STea6her : o ,,owihalt do yout~i stafnd b,!3brain'wrk??"' SBoyp W hen a'inan- works :wth hisýhead."t?Teacher.~" Correct` ! And what is manual labor ?" Boy :t° Wheiir man works with his hands." Teacher: "That's right, To which of these classes do i belongwhen Iteach-yon? - What do-I-use most in teaching you?" Boy'iý A ii6p"

Publication Title: Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Vic, Australia
Why I Left the Volunteers. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 25 July 1885

Why I Left the Volunteers. "Then I'll resign," said I. "Very well," said'efi,'" you can"do as you please." 'And now, having repeated two sentences .which have been running in my mind ever since-they were uttered, I will try to tell how it was that I came to make such a decided remark. It is astonishing the sooth. ing Effect which repeating a grievance has on the sufferer, and this must be my excuse for inflicting my woes on an unoffending reader. First, then, to introduce myself. My name is Codlings; I am short, stout, and middle-aged ; and I am, or rather (alas 1) was, a captain in the Targetshire, or Death to the Invader Volunteers. And I may add that no one could be a more thorough volun teer than I was : I was proud of the uniform, and liked the exercise. .The 18th of June had long been fixed as the day on which a grand review of the corps was to take place. ,:. ,; An M.P. for the county was to be present, and a bugle was to be presented by the M.P.'s daughter, and altogether we...

Publication Title: Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Vic, Australia
Wit and Humor [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 25 July 1885

Never anticipate too much; disappoint ment'is riot pleasant.: ' ' A young man recently opened a clothing' shop, and was sent to gaol for it. Reason the clothes shop belonged to another man.' A' widow in Sandhurst, who has changed her name three times, wrote to a young lady friend :-" Never marry a man with a mous tache; if you do, he'll think more of the horrid thing than of you." "Do you think your father is going to move out soon ?" inquired the owner of a rented house of the son of his tenant. " Think so," wasi the reply; we've begun using the window frames for firewood." A writer in an agricultural journal fur nishes a long article on , the best time to move bees." Our eperience&has shown that about the most profitable period is, when they have just made up their minds to light on our neck, 'A divine; noted alike for his wit and his bad penmanship, was unexpectedly detained out of the city, and telegraphed : " Train de layed. Read Colossians ii. 5." This the telegraph op...

Publication Title: Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Vic, Australia
Advertising [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 25 July 1885

9P" '"'1 .... "- ' -/A:ny de sription of Genral Printing executed in First-class Style with SQuick Despatch and for Moderate Price, at the Office of .., this Newspaper. Stte .dvertslng Department every effort is made to satisfy cstomes-Special Inducements for Large Advertisements, and Low Quotationas hr al.

Publication Title: Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Vic, Australia
The Politeness of Mr. Briggs. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 25 July 1885

SThe Politeness of Mr. Briggs. gEver so many years ago, a certain gentle man, having fallen in love with, and paid at tention to, a certain young lady, felt that the time had come when he should make a formal offer of his hand and be aoeepted or rejected. On the stage the lover went down on his knees; in stories he often did the same ; but * Mr. Spinner was not sure that it would be proper for him to go down upon his knees to Miss Farren; whether he should take her hand and hold it as he spoke, or whether.it whether it would be out of place to do so. Then, when very much agitated, an old schoolboy habit of stammering returned to him. What if this should happen 1. The thought was too terrible. . Therefore Mr. Spinner resolved to propose ito Miss Farren by letter, and after writing fifteen epistles, which he destroyed,; and .copying the sixteenth (which suited him rather better) at least ten times, folded and sealed it, and was about to deposit it in the post-office, when "a gentleman...

Publication Title: Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Vic, Australia
In the Hennery. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 25 July 1885

In the Hennery. OTHELLO-Is she on nest ? IAGo-On nest, my lord ? OTHELLO-On nest, ay, on nest. IAGO-My lord, for aught I know. OTHELLO-What dost thou think? IAGo-Think, my lord ? OTHELLO-Think; my lord I By heaven, he echoes me, As if there were some monster in the coop Too hideous to be shown,-Thou dost mean something; I heard 'thee say but now-thou lik'dst not that,. As though thy breakfast-egg was stale, or had beeh sat upon ; And when I told thee she was of my brood, The choicest layer' of a.thousand hens, thou criedst "Indeed I" As one would say he had a cochin hen: Could lay an egg with her for money. Show me the hen. IAGo-I dare be sworn that she is on nest. OTHELLO-Well, go to, then. Like.. to Pontick Sea, Whose icy current and compulsive course, Ne'er feels retiring ebb, but keeps due on, Even so a setting hen will set, And set, and set, and set, On bureau-knobs and bottle-necks and corks, And will not scratch around and lay fresh eggs, Till something hatch. I havetied Bed-...

Publication Title: Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Vic, Australia
Would-be Humorists. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 25 July 1885

Would-be Humorists. _h e;ader, have you ever, been smitten by the comic fever ? Of course you have.. The writer labors with it ndw. How many am bitious youths have gone through the fol lowing programme:: Twelve at night fiends .you, burning midnight oil and gazing into the near future and a cracked mirror. , Suddenly. you ,seize upon. an idea and a lead pencil and begin to " do up" a well know politician. You give the poor fellow dead .away in an awful funny style. The humurous thoughts chase each other down your lead peincil until you break it. from laughing. Oh, it's funny. And then you call up yours family and read it to them, and they lay down upon the floor and just scream with ... . mirth. Then you pick up Punchto compare your wit with his, and -Holy Moses I -there's the identical article that you.have just written staring at you in print.,:, Then, you. get mad and swear yours is original,, and say something about stopping your paper, but at last you dimly remember reading tha...

Publication Title: Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Vic, Australia
What she did it for. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 25 July 1885

. What ishe did it for. Wheh Eve sampled .the fruit she under. stood her business. She wanted to give all her: sisterhood something to talk about, and pa~i the way to keep men out of mischief at the saime time. Take from woman the sub ject' of garments-that mine of conversa tional wealth-and rob man of the discussion he can get 'out of the weather, and we might as w ~ell be born without tongues, for all the use .they would be;

Publication Title: Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Vic, Australia
Haretiaq. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 25 July 1885

At a reception a young lady accidently set her back hair on fire. When it was ex tinguished shelsaid she ~was glad it wasn't her best, Karel: " Mamman, axyn't igo out into the street a bit? The boys say there's a'. comet to be seen." 'Mamma: " Well, yes; but don't go too near 1" : The question which agitates the fashion able housewife at present is not so much " Where shall we go this summer ?"-as it is " Where shall we make the neighbours think we have gone ?" A journalist, writing of Madame Patti, in a witty manner gets over the statement of her age. Her portraits are given as a child and as a woman, Under the first are the words, "Patti at eight I" under the last, "Patti at--at--present I " Mr. Lucy, in his Diary of Two Parliaments, has an amusing illustration of the feeling which prevails in some circles against the Premier. " Oh, how dreadful I" cried an old lady reared in an atmosphere of Conservative clericalism, when, the other day, Mr. Glad stone was pointed out to her at t...

Publication Title: Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Vic, Australia
A Libel. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 25 July 1885

A: Libel, "I can't think why it is that all the cfi. ployes at the telephone offlce are girls," said Smith, after the,first three-quarters of an hour's waiting with his ear screwed on to the instrument, listening 'tto the chaotic noises going on within. "'Oan't you?" said his friend: "'well, I'll tell you.? It is simply because the Exchange people always strive their utmost to find persons whose whole heart and soul ii in the work before them, and ladies, of course will be fond of working telephones." "Why ?' asked: the other, dreamily, " Because th work is all talking,"

Publication Title: Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Vic, Australia
Advertising [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 25 July 1885

'f4 G'ir' la { 71)i,ýý H 0ý an ,1 ?)IiV ' iiAriGRAJ 1 1 0( 1 1.P J'ffir f If tn .Qd!p"1 4~~~ Sf511 xs; ,.a x w"Ii.,s 4 1\ ti DeAtil' t..ýr. IAl~t7.l cco~. pthSllauitJ d ( ..:; ' i fn T, (IA t 1;'fYJt1i i S JtL S. ' -·-Ge c nl ...;;, 2 ý `fFrJ~x i 't 1- dt~f p ',`u f" : i ' i)"~ "il Ig .: ' Ai, j ý a 7i7 .1 llS'1:I;L( :j } ,: kNOl'h.PJI. :~~r~~!~iPO'U TO"S~d0 ;; AGI}:45JALtJi RjOj I!:c~iit I ? X11 1'Tir-s s f J .salc· ofi J~tf " vj:d ' W ihom i dcs;¶lbrý to h iex wider:", '; lf ic itlipii'fr.r1Vvllis I i irit' N iM"t "' ·rt ir' f ~ f., tt' ( I Ciltll!.(; f`dl 'IIll'E Cic t '.ir i u Eut I 1 ý" .._.i,"Safr f ,,f: "c +Lit :fi` SsJ'J1) ddl Iifý{?, CT-'flt ,ýel ..lnl j >,ý~ 1 ,t s.".. h ' i ''"1 ,. t s .5'F: 'o' I iiiii ildl' lu y 8hzitir "ailery Irl3Fa if '-.Ifl?4'Q'1' 11Q ~ I' uir (Cr11114 , ii Pooii'ilu " ltri) c'iiitiiiiiiid II S , ; :f j E17 :I .1 hI' } # ? o;uI jourii'ir rl f Fl. , = S t Sr i ilif~Ji) 15 ji ,, : l .I'rflsS~, ='ýi.J l ii~ . F,- -"sý,s' ',;,i :F, }J 7111 f 1'. 7 tl...

Publication Title: Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Vic, Australia
Rifle Match. 1ST BRIGADE GARRISON ARTILLERY V. SOUTH GRANT BATTERY. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 25 July 1885

IiRfia Match. 1'ariEi''RG ,X1 ''RRgsON.: - ARAVTffLTRY V.SOUTH GRANT BATT 1i Y. .Jhe;;folIvwlng niatch took %lhlc at file Que~ens cliff bu~tts gin: t~u iql, Jul~, re,~ultiu; vin Fotoryý fo r the M ilitia 1y 700 p1inThZ Raid and Naties. 200yds 400vdls .'500}ic: Total. :Lieuleriailt.Tralhait 23: 28.. .27.. 78. Sobrlu.-orJ Gridd-ri ddle ,20 - 2) 2 7 Gunniiter Latsice^"..-, 160. 27 21 64 ' ýl l1'iddc: 24. 21 " " 5 M~l~i~u 'tr 20' 19:3 '~162 Lieut. Uiphelb, 20. 21, :21 62 Sorgeantb]I d I Iinad 21 heuiedi 17 2y`v 718 03 C6rolirI Irtiufo on 14 27; 211 1 ) lItoiiilir1 -rscItile '14 20;,. 18 56 ' ltt tter .tl Stro 9 24 11 15 51 uitinnr Fitztrindd. 14 44f1'' 14 2 13 ` 5, Caties I9 *).i '18 59

Publication Title: Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Vic, Australia
An Old Epitaph Slightly Altered. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 25 July 1885

An Old Epitaph Slightly Altered. There are many persons who evince ex treme anxiety concerning what is to be written over them after they are consigned to the sod, but it is seldom we hear of a man insane enough to go in for ordering the whole apparatus in advance. However, Williams town boasts of one enlightened individual of the anxious stamp mentioned. He, wishing to be quite certain that he shall have a "fixture " over his grave, and fearing to trust to surviving relatives,'has bought his own al lotment in the local cemetery, his own coffin: and tombstone-bought and paid for the lot. Upon the stone he has inscribed the'follow ing: Beneath this stone J. B-n-n lies; Nobody laughs and nobody cries. Where he's gone and how he fares, Nobody knows and nobody cares., The stone has been left at the cutter's until required; aid has been there for seven years an object of curiosity to most people and a well known fact to all in the district. .

Publication Title: Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Vic, Australia
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