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How Do Yon Oil Your Bicycle? [Newspaper Article] — Jerilderie Herald and Urana Advertiser — 3 February 1899
How Do Yon Oil Yonr Bicycle ? He strode into the second- hand bicyole dealer's shop with a look of rage upon his face. . . ' Look here, this ia a pretty thing yon have given me. . Why, it would take a steam-engine to furnish power enough to run this machine.' 'Why, what is the matter with it?' asked the dealer, alarmed at the growing rage of tho customer of the day before. 'Matter! matter enough. Yon told me this was an easy running machine, and you can't make it budge. I oiled it freshly this morning, juBt 'before going out, and in five minutes, sir, it was like drawing a load of stone.' ' Surely you used pure oil ?' 'Used the stuff you gave me in tho bottle. Bad enough, probably.' 'In the bottle? Why, man, I didn't give you any bottle of oil. It is in a can. ' 'Can, eh? Well, what do you o^U that?' said the irate man, as he took the bottle out of the leather case. ' I put it in the hearings just as you told me.' ' My dear fellow, that iB the liquid cement for the tyres.'
Saving up the Fine. [Newspaper Article] — Jerilderie Herald and Urana Advertiser — 3 February 1899
. Saving up the Fine. Mrs. Brady: 'Och, Missus O'Toole, yez be worrukin' noight and day.' Mrs. O'Toole : ' Yib : Oi'm under bonds to kape th' pace fur pullin' the hair out of that bla'guard, Missus Broe; an' th' judge tould me as if Oi toughed herag'in he'd foine me twenty shillings.' Mtb- Brady : ' An' yea is worrukin' hard so'b to kape out of mischief?'' - '? Mrs. O'Toole (between- her breath): ' No ;.Oi'm savin' op the foine 1' , ? . ' . ? - : fe ?' v- us
Pussy was Doing the Pulling. [Newspaper Article] — Jerilderie Herald and Urana Advertiser — 3 February 1899
Pusay n ag Doing the Pulling. One evening recently a mother hud occasion to reprove her little girl for pulling the cut's tail, and threatened to ipunish her the next time she did it. ;The following day the mother was sur prised to see the performance repeated. ' Elsie, come here. 'Yes, mamma.' 1 . 'ipidn't.I..teH you yesterday that if :you pulled the c'at'a tail -again 1 should .have to punish you?' 1 Yob, mamma ; but I was: only hold ing it. It was the cat that was pulling thiB'time.' ?
Scored Off. [Newspaper Article] — Jerilderie Herald and Urana Advertiser — 3 February 1899
Scored Off, A schoolboy home for the holidays, wishing to inspire his little brother with awe for his learning, pointed to a. star, and' said: 'Do you see that little luminary? It's bigger than this whole world.' t 'No, 'toin't,' said his brother. 1 ' Yes, it is,' declared the youthful scholar. ' Then why is it that it don't keep off the rain ?' was the triumphant rejoinder.
Wrong Pills. [Newspaper Article] — Jerilderie Herald and Urana Advertiser — 3 February 1899
Wrong Pills. ' My dear,' Mr. Finnicky said to his wife, ' I don't think those pills I have been taking have done me much good.' 1 Why, you haven't-'been taking any for three weeks 1' 'Yes, I have; I've swallowed one three jimes a day, as directed.' - ' You have 1 Then why, ia it that there are as many left as there were three weeks ago V What box have you been taking then from ?' 1 This one — marked for me.' 'Dear me, John I That is the chil dren's bead box.' John collapsed.
Winding Them Up. [Newspaper Article] — Jerilderie Herald and Urana Advertiser — 3 February 1899
Winding; Them, Up. 'There ha pretty little girl of -five years living in the\,auburbs of Sydney, who has been tehderiy brought up. Her mother has guarded her against wit nessing acta of ^violence or cruelty, and she is igno'rant'of the methods employed in killing fowls for the table. Several days ago, unknown to the. careful parent, the little girl strayed into the backyard, where a servant was killing a number of chickens for dinner by wringing their necks. The child watched the proceedings with great interest for several minutes, and then in a glow of excitement, rushed to her mother. ' Mamma,' she cried, 'just come and see the fun. \ Mary is winding the ohickensup.'
About Honey. [Newspaper Article] — Jerilderie Herald and Urana Advertiser — 3 February 1899
About Honey. Tho word 'money ' owes its name to the Latin goddess, . Juno Moneta, in whose great temple the first Roman coin was struck. The florin takes its name from Florence, in which city it was first struck about tho thirteenth century. T)iip.atH were first circulnhnri in Min Dnnhtr of Apulia in 1140. Two hundred and forty pence are. called a. pound, because the Roman pound of twelve ounces of pure silver waB coined into two hundred and forty silver pennieB. Wo adopted tho pennv, and when wo introduced one coin to represent that value, we called it a pound, from the Latin poundvs,. the unit of weight. There are said to be thousands of English words not found in the die-: tionary. Men use some of them when shaving in a hurry. . .
Hours of Labour in the Olden Time. [Newspaper Article] — Jerilderie Herald and Urana Advertiser — 3 February 1899
Hours of Labour in the Olden Time. The ' StaLuto of Labourers ' in Eng land, enacted in 1496, regulated the hours of work and meals of all labourers and servants. It provided that the hours of labour from March lo September should be from five o'clock in the morn ing till seven in the evening ; that ono hour should be allowed for breakfast; an hour and a half for dinner ; and half I an hour for noon meate. The hours of I labour in the winter were from ' spring- i ing of the day ' to dark, and only one | hour was allowed for dinner, tho extra I half hour at the meal being allowed only i forifileeping from the middle of May to the middle of August. This statute fixed the rate of wageB. If any un employed person refused to serve at these wages, he or she might bo im prisoned until they agreed to serve aocordtng to statute.
How They Do It. [Newspaper Article] — Jerilderie Herald and Urana Advertiser — 3 February 1899
How They Do It. V illager : ' What's the meaning of that ropo stretched from the ohurch steeple to the top of your tent ?' Circus Manager : 'That's for our great Ethiopian trick elephant: to walk over nt two o'clock, just before the perform ance. Didn't you see the piotures ? He's to start from the church steeple and walk the ropo to the tent, and then descend bv the centre-nolo to the arena.' ' My 1 I should think he'd fall.' ' He never fell yet.' 'But his weight -will pull over the steeple.' ? ?-; - ' Nevor has yet.' ''And I don't believe any of the ohurch folks want it tried, anyhow.' 'They never do.' . 'Didn't you ask them?' 'No; we never do. We always get tho rope up quick before they find out what we're after.' ' But can't they call on the police to stop you ?' ' They always do.' ' Don't you reBpeot the law ?' , 'Always. The elephant nevor walks, but you see that isn't our fault,'
Valuable Farm Composts. [Newspaper Article] — Jerilderie Herald and Urana Advertiser — 3 February 1899
^ Valuable Farm Composts, From the Agricultural Gazette of N.S.W. I wasted hundreds of tons of manure before I adopted a plan for oompoBting all fertilising material.. I top-dressed meadow land, and sometimes gained a good profit by it, but if dry weather followed I lost the better part of the food elements and sometimes nearly all of them. I dragged the meadows first, and then again after putting on the fertilisers — a plan always to be com mended. But still I was wasting what I could not afford to lose. Meanwhile there was a great supply of humus material that could not be used at all in this way, suoh as autumn leaveB and old straw. These I often used for mulching, and got- Bome benefit from them, but they finally for the moBt part . sent back their elements into the air. My first lesson was composting leavos with coal ashes. I found that coal ashes were of great benefit on clay soil, en abling the land to receive fertilising elements from the air, while the value as mulch was al...
A "Drap o' Dew." [Newspaper Article] — Jerilderie Herald and Urana Advertiser — 3 February 1899
A ' Drap o' Dew.' I hae aften heard it said — . (But my wording may be new) J Ilka tiny blade o' grass I Gets its ain pure drap o dew. ThiB auld saying I did pen, Asking Jennie if she knew I was like a blade o' grass, Wad ahe be my drap o' dew ? Yester-a'en her answer came — Sweet and saucy, like my lass } ' In the way o* colour, Rob, Ye are like a blade o' grass. ' An' ye're growing in my heart, . Where the cauld wind never blew I Dinna suffer lang wi' thirst j dome and take your drap o' deW.'
'TWIXT CUP & LIP. A Love Romance. IN FOUR PARTS. PART IV. [Newspaper Article] — Jerilderie Herald and Urana Advertiser — 3 February 1899
'TWIXT CUP & LIP. A toe Romance. IN FOUR PARTS. \ PART IV. Half-way down the drive he met Lee with his head bent and hands deep ? ; in his trousers-pockets, looking some thing like a criminal on his way to execution. Mr. Berners stopped short and held up the note he carried. 'Look here,' he said gruffly, ' that fellow greasy Dips, or whatever you call him, had the impudence to send Nellie an offer of his hand and fortune - this morning. Found it out. in time and prompted her answer, Which I am just going to take to' him myself. Like to see the fellow look small. It all comes of your encouraging the little ead about the house.' ? Do you mean that Nellie has refused him ?' asked Lee, surprised. 'Rather!' answered .Mr. Berners. ' What else did you expect ?' In his effort to be calm Lee bit his - . - lip till the blood nearly started. ' There is some mistake here, Mr. -' Berners,' he said, in tones that trembled in spite of himself. 'Nellie is not free — at least did not intend ...
Here's the Latest [Newspaper Article] — Jerilderie Herald and Urana Advertiser — 3 February 1899
Here's t&e Latest We have got tired of gauging oharaoter by bumps on the head and iineB on the palm. The shape of the nose and colour of the eyes no longer interest ub.' So it iB with joy we hear of a new: science by which we can make sure whether luck is going to be ourB during our lifetime. It has another advantage. It is much easier to learn than phrenology' or palmistry. * j - All that is necessary is to notice what moleB you may have on various portions of your anatomy, and what colour they are. For instance, a red mole on the ' right side of the forehead means excel lent good fortune' and money ; a black one on the forehead foretells to a man imprisonment or long illness. A mole on the back of the neck predicts a happy life, but threatens untimely death by drowning. A red mole on the throat indicates danger of death in battle or a fight. A honey-coloured mole on the right-hand side of the ohest is - lucky, and so is - one on the upper lip; The latter in a woman indicat...
Poisonous Flowers. [Newspaper Article] — Jerilderie Herald and Urana Advertiser — 3 February 1899
Potsonoas Flowers. ' 'Among the garden plants comu^uly in vogue which possess a poisonous nature botanists mention the flowers of the jonquil, white hyacinth, and snow drop, the narcissus being ako particularly deadly, so mnch so, indeed, that to chew a small scrap of one of the bulbs -may result fatally, while the juioe of the leaves is an emetic. The berries of the vew have killed many persons, and it is pretty well known nowadays that it is not safe to eat many peaoh pips or cherry kernels at once. The lobelias are all dangerous, their juioe, if swallowed, producing vomiting and giddiness, with pains in the head. Lady'B slipper poisons in the same manner as does common ivy. The bulbB Beem to be the most harmful. Lillies of the valley are also as much so. There iB enough opium in rod poppies to do mischief ; and the autumn crocus, if the blossoms are chewed, causes vomiting and purging. . The leaves and flowers of the oleander are deadly, and the bark of 4 the catalpa tree is very...
An Author's Devotion to His Sovereign. [Newspaper Article] — Jerilderie Herald and Urana Advertiser — 3 February 1899
An Author's Devotion -to His Sovereign. The following cqrious story about two famous people is to be found in '.'The Private ljife of Queen Viotoria.' About Diokens and the Queen there is a' most touching little story, which the passago of time makes it possible to relate. The great author, while still !early in his career, conceived the most passionate attachment for Her Majesty, the girlieh beauty which she ' retained unimpaired for manv vears after her marriage, and her Bweet grate-having made the deepest impression on him. He went everywhere, where he was likely to be able to see her, and in one of his letters to a friend he poured outihis reverent love for the Queen, not only as a Sovereign, but as a woman. He also tells how he has hidden among the trees many a time so that' he might catch a glimpse of her as' she passed.
Why Some Animals Ruminate. [Newspaper Article] — Jerilderie Herald and Urana Advertiser — 3 February 1899
Why Some Animals Ruminate. In the early ages of the world, tigers, | lions, and other carnivdra existed in much larger numbers than they do now, and they were the terror and scourge of peaceable herbinorous animals. As a consequence the herbinora were obliged to stow away a meal as quickly as possible, so that they might take to their heels when attacked. As they bolted the meal too quickly for proper mastica tion, nature came to their resoue. and: gave them a second stomach which they : could fill as quickly as they chose and masticate the contents at leisure. Doctors say that the high pressure of modern life will sooner or later bring about the same change in man, and, already, many people in the United States, where they dine in five minutes or so, are known to ' chew the cud.'
ROSALIE CHEYNE. [Newspaper Article] — Jerilderie Herald and Urana Advertiser — 10 February 1899
ROSALIE CHEYNE. Characters : Mrs. Cheyue, 30 ; Pelay, 20 ; aud Sarah, 19, Scene : Mrs. Cheyno's boudoir leading iuto her bedroom. Timo : 10.30 a.m. Betsy (flourishing a feather broom) : Don't you waste your timo so, Sarah ! What's the use of sweeping uuder that there rug ? Sarah : It's awfully dusty ! It has not been up for a fortnight to my certain knowledge. Betsy : And why should it ? Who's going to look under rugs ? Sarah (pointing to the bedroom door) : Sho might. Betsy : Not she. She has far moze important things than that to attend to. Sarah s I suppose she hap. BoUy : What's tho good of saying you sup pose, wheu you know she has ? Sarah : You are right. She's had both o*.. their photographs aet up theie ou her writii g table for .half a year, and I don't* believe she; ? ^ knows yet which of them she mtuns to. marry. Well, it's a pity ! 1 . , Betsy : What's a pity ? Sarah: That Fome people should have so much choice aud some so little. * . Betsy : It's more of a shame than a ...
A GENTLEMAN TRAMP. [Newspaper Article] — Jerilderie Herald and Urana Advertiser — 10 February 1899
A GENTLEMAN TRAMP. Iu Australia the tramp or u sundowner,' as ? , \ I10 is called, is a privileged persou; As com- ? ' v * pared, too, with his British prototype, he is also ; y. man of property. . . His property consists chiefly in bis 41 bluoy ' and his ' billy.' The 44 bluoy ' which gets its .. . name from its colour, is the large blanket wrapped up iu which he reposes iu tbe bush at - night. When on the inarch the suudowuer car* ries his carefully folded 14 bluey ' 011 his back. A v. ? -v ; With ib he may possibly carry a small axe :V C4 tommy hawk ' ho calls it) wherewith to cub firewood. From his linger daugles the well- ' blackened ' billy '' — a small tiu can with a lid. Iu this he makes bis tea, boils his potatoes, and sometimes even his meat. There is no limit to . ' the usefulness of a 44 billy.' ? The sundowner trudges from one 14 stntiou,' or farm, to another all tho loug Australian summer through. Wheu arrived at a station, he marches confidently up to the dwelling hou...
A WONDERFUL CRUSADE. [Newspaper Article] — Jerilderie Herald and Urana Advertiser — 10 February 1899
A WONDERFUL CRUSADE. In the summer of 1213 a boy was noticod wandering from town to towu in France, His band was uever stretched out for alms, nor his voice subdued iuto tho beggar?s whino. He be longed not to the tribe of vagraut students, and still less to that of tbe mouutebank or the pecaroon Neither did he carry either of those uuiversal passports — the palmer's staff, or the gleeman's citbara. Unlike each nnd all of these, his mien was saintly and biscouduct irreproach able. Wherever he weuthe chanted the words, 4* Lord Jesus, give us back tho Holy Cross !' pausing ouly for fervent prayer. Iu a little time l.c was universally revered as tbe messenger of Heaven, and happy was that house esteemed wherein he deigned to take up his lodging. But soon alarm began to permeate and deepen the awe with which ho was everywhere regarded. All at once a strange iufatuation seized en all tho boys of the same age. No sooner was bis voice beard in any town or hamlet, than out they poured, must...
A VENTRILOQUIST'S REBUKE. [Newspaper Article] — Jerilderie Herald and Urana Advertiser — 10 February 1899
A VENTRILOQUIST'S REBUKE. Tho stories of ventriloquism are strange and wouderful. A civil engiucer tells that while he was overaeeiug a gang of meu, who were haul ing loads of dirt with a mulo team, a friend of bis, a ventriloquist, came up aud stood by bis side, watching the men at work. Presently a mule, driven by a large, fiery tempered lrishman, bulked, right in front of the spot where the two lookers-on were standing. Tho Irishman soon lost his temper, aud began I to belabour the animal with his whip. Now I and then the mule would turn his head aud look reproachfully at tho Irishman, but still refused to budge. Now just watch the Irishman,' whispered tbe ventriloquist in his friend's ear. At that momeut, Pat, losiug all patieuco, gave the animal a tremendous kick iu the ribs with his heavy boot. Tho mute turned his head, and. looking the Irishman in the face, opened his mouth : — 14 Don't you do that again.' The voice sounded as though it came direct from between the mule's par...