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(ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.) COMPLETE STORY. A SAFE MAN. [Newspaper Article] — Stawell News and Pleasant Creek Chronicle — 11 April 1914
(All lliuma Rsssnrso.) COMPLETE STORY. A SAFE MAN. By FLORENCE WARDEN. Author of "Tho House on tlio Marsh,'' "Sir Astlev's "Wife," "Tom . Dawson," "Settled Out of Court," &c. George Burnley had boon out of work for some months, and the littlo family at home was beginning to feel tho pinch, so that when a friend of his obtained for him tho situation of clerk to Messrs. J. Fromo and Son, stock brokers, and directed him to present himself at ten o'clock on the following morning, tho poor clerk took care to bo punctual to the minute". The outer door of tho office was lock ed, and for some minutes ho knocked in vain. At last he saw diiuly through tho ground glass upper half tho figure of a man. But still the door was not open ed, so ho tapped again gently at the glass, and said: "Is.this Mr. Frome's office? I'm George Burnley, the now clerk." "Oh!" said a voice inside. Then tho key was turned, and Burn ley found himself in tho presence of a tall, broad-shouldered, well-dressed ma...
REASON OBVIOUS. [Newspaper Article] — Stawell News and Pleasant Creek Chronicle — 11 April 1914
REASON OBVIOUS. .Mrs. .Robinson rushed from lior bed room in a stato of groat indignation, and, leaning over the balustrado at the top of tho staircase, * shouted angrily : "Bridget—Bridget, come here this minute!" liridget came. "I thought you- said you'd cleaned this room," continued Mrs. Robinson, still shouting angrily. "But just look under the bed; the floor is simply thick with dust. Haven't I told you that you must always sweep under the boils?" ® "Well, mum," replied Bridget, in tearful indignation, "and how, I should like to know, could tho dust have got under the bed if I hadn't swept it there?" Blamo I can bear, though not blame worthiness.—Browning.
AMERICAN HUMOUR. [Newspaper Article] — Stawell News and Pleasant Creek Chronicle — 11 April 1914
. AMERICAN HUMOUR. « Trained.—Jirown: "Von suom moro | satisfied kith your wife's rooking than formerly, llus kIio learned with time?" Smith: "No, 1 have." o o n © o Just to Oblige.—"The doctor says 1 must quit smoking. One lung is nearly gone.'' "Oh, dear John, Can't you hold out until wo get enough coupons for that dining-room rug*'" • • « • - A Scorct Society.—'-We're making moro headway than over," she said. Wo girls iiavo a secret society, Ned." "And what," he inquired, '"may its purposes bo?" She replied, "Oh, wo ineot and toll secrets, you see." t> ■ m » • * • Praotlcal Enough.—Mr. Blako enter ed his o/fico rather wearily cnc morn ing, and in response to a cheery greet ing from his • partner he grouchily i replied: "I certainly had a shock last night. A young fellow telegraphed to me ho had married my youngest daughter at Grant's Jlock." "Heavens!" returned his partner. "Well, tho only thing you can hopo for now is that he may turn out to he a practical business man " "Oh,...
IT WORKED. [Newspaper Article] — Stawell News and Pleasant Creek Chronicle — 11 April 1914
IT "WORKED. IAn amusing story is told of a young man who, .besides being of the spend thrift order, is an excellent mimic, and can imitate his fathers gruff, voice to a nicety. Not long ago he wanted, without delay, an amount of money, and he knew that the father would treat the request for it with" cold con tempt. Waiting till he was sure that his father would be away, he went into a telephone call-room and rang up his parent's office, calling for the cashier. The casher was forthcoming. "X say, Blank," said the young man, "if that scapegrace of a son of mine comes round and asks for twenty pounds, don't give it to him. Only give him ten pounds, and tell him to make that do." The cashier promised that he vyould fulfil his commands. Not long after wards the son called at the office and demanded twenty pounds. He was re fused by the conscientious, cashier, and apparently in anger, the young man contented himself with the' ten When the parent reached the office there was trouble.
HOUSEHOLD HINTS. [Newspaper Article] — Stawell News and Pleasant Creek Chronicle — 11 April 1914
I HOUSEHOLD HINTS. A ,-ni ieiuon rubbed &lt;>n 1,1,0 forehead wiU cue a severe headache. , iiu, powder well sprinklotl where cockroaches abound will drive them away. To remove, the' mark of » scorch, wet v!,-.lover i* scorched with cold wntor ,ni'l place it in the sun. When dry, il„. mark will luwo disappeared. wi.cn buying apples tho he-iviost; nlso tost tho fruit- by Beeinfc, if whon' pressed with the thumb, * yields with a slight cracking s0»,Ki Drown boots and shoes should bo robbed over with a slice of raw Potato before the polish is applied, 'lhis cleans „„d removes tho stains quite easily. Handkerchiefs which have becomo vollovv call bo inado snow-wluto bv soar ing then, in pipeclay for twenty-four hours. To mako linon easier to write on j when marking it, &lt;% tU« l»oco to marked in cold starch, and tho pen will writo without scratching. Potatoes aro moro nutritious if bod ed in their skins, after being scrubbed clean, they can bo skinned beforo tak ing t...
AIR OF THE SEA. [Newspaper Article] — Stawell News and Pleasant Creek Chronicle — 11 April 1914
AIR OF THE SEA. The air of the sea, taken sb a groat distance from land, or oven on shoro, &lt;and in ports and harbours, when the wind blows from the open, is in an almost perfect stato of purity. Near continents the land winds drive before them an atmosphere always impure, but at' about sixty miles from tho roasts this impurity has disappeared. Tho sea rapidly purifies the pestilential atmosphere of continents; hence every expanse of water of a certain breath becomes an absolute obstacle to the propagation of epidemics. Marino atmospheres driven upon land purify sensibly the air of the regious which they traverse, this purification can bo recognised a very long way. Tho sea is tho tomb of moulds and aerial sehizophytes.
BURST. [Newspaper Article] — Stawell News and Pleasant Creek Chronicle — 11 April 1914
BURST. It was children's Sunday, and the father of a ertmintf family proudly led his assorted olTspririg up the aisle and 10 the baptismal font to have a lonkr neglected ceremony performed. "Aha!" said the clergyman, rub bins' bis hands in delight, "a fine family, sir, and what will be their names ?" The proud father drew in a bij? breath and hr^an: "Clarence Wood 1'urM, Helen May Hurst, Fri-derie Otto Uuim, Oscar Will Hurst, and Maiy Kant Durst." While the :iei^vnia:i was fanning •.lie air the patter ol rain v.*as heard on the cluircb 'oof. "I t hi ill*. sir," said the father, "we're joins' to have a ':Joudhurst "
DIDN'T WASTE MORE. [Newspaper Article] — Stawell News and Pleasant Creek Chronicle — 11 April 1914
DIDN'T"WASTE MORE. "Young man," said tho earnest.em ployee, "you should remember that overy hour is composed of sixty golden minutes, each sot with «ixty shining seconds." "That, shy courteously responded tho young n»nn, "was tlio motto &lt;jii the wall of tho little red sehool-houso which I attended." "Ah, just so. And I trust that you always bear in mind tho wastefuluoss of idling away your time." "J. try to, sir." "That is right. Remember thut in some lazy moment a wondrous oppor tunity may come your way. If you fail to see it and to seize it, tho whole of your future may ho altered." "Yos, sir." "And thercforo I would urge upon you never to .waste your time in foolish amusements, in loafing, in dreaming of tho unattainable, or to listening to " "In listening to idle talk, sir?" politely suggested the youth. "Exactly. Ajid, as .vou have idled five minutes at present, tho cashier will ho instructed to deduct the proper amount from your envelope. Let this lesson sink in, my...
CHAPTER XXIII. [Newspaper Article] — Stawell News and Pleasant Creek Chronicle — 11 April 1914
CHAPTER XX.UI. Ihc workings of the Mannersley Main Colliery arc well known to all m.ning experts and to the men who there tear their sustenance from the bowels of ti:e earth to be amongst ine most extensive in the country, just as the main shall is one of the tLvp^st. Some ol the miners, who, l^r lack of accommodation in Man - ■_ IlL'rslt'-v ilsel', had to live in outlying villages or isolated cottages on the edge of the parish, used to calcu late that after descending to the bot v torn of the shall they were obliged to walk just as far to the particular spot where they were then laboring as they had walked from their own cottage down 10 the cage in which they descended; one man in particu lar who had a turn for exactitude and locality allirmed that he had once worked exactly beneath his own bit of garden, which was a mile and three-quarters from the pit brow. The ramifications of these workings spread far and wide in all directions; many ol them were never used or v;s.ted, and Dogg...
CRISP TOASTS. [Newspaper Article] — Stawell News and Pleasant Creek Chronicle — 11 April 1914
CRISP TOASTS/ A magazine bad been collecting somo witty and amusing toasts given at banquets. Horo aro some:— A rather cynical toast ran thus:— "Woman—sho requires no eulogy; sho speaks for herself." A gallant young man, under the samo festal circumstances, referred to one "member of tho sex ho eulogised as "a delectable dear, so sweet that honey would blush in her presenco, and molasses stand appalled." At the marriage supper of a deaf and dumb couple ono guest, in the speech of the evening, wished them "unspoakablo bliss." A writer of comedies .was giving.a banquet in honor of his latest work, at which a jovial guest gave tho toast: "The author's very good health! May ho live to be as old as his jokes." At another gathering were toasted: "Tho Benoli and tho liar; if it wero not for tho bar, there would be little use for tho bench." As pithy was tho following toast, proposed at a shoemakers' dinner:— "May wo havo all tho women in tho country to shoo, and all the men to boot." ■
The Double Chance (Published by Special Arrangement.) CHAPTER XXII.—(Continued.) [Newspaper Article] — Stawell News and Pleasant Creek Chronicle — 11 April 1914
riie Doubls Chance + BY J. S. l-'LBTCHER, Author of " The Uoklcn Hope," ^.'C. (Published by Special Arrai.foment.) CHAT I'KU XXII.—i Con in hum I.) Tlie meivix lorinal proceedings wli i li led to Clinton's discliarge . 0111 cjSiinl* were boon over, ami liicii the court became a pande mia mil from which the police and u,: c als louml it ditlicult to make a way lor the released man and his c. usin. And suddenly 1'hillipa, as in a dream, tound hersell standing on the steps outside the court, with Clinton 011 one side ol her and (Juinton 011 the other, and in front a vast-stretching crowd of men in their Sunday best, who were shout ing as if at a popular St. l.eger w.nner. The men would have a speech—Sir Clinton must speak to t.iem—they must and would hear his voice! Then they cheered again, until he laughingly showed signs of obeying their will by climbing to the ba.ustrades and removing his hat. "Friends and neighbours!" he began. Hut what he was going to say was never said. At that m...
WISE AND OTHERWISE. [Newspaper Article] — Stawell News and Pleasant Creek Chronicle — 11 April 1914
WISE AND OTH ICR-WISE. Magistrate: Have. you been arrested before to-day. Casey : No, your Wot* ship, this is the first toimc to-day. * » * « Mother: Don't you think you've had enough pudding f Freddie: No, ma; I don't feel ill yet. • a * © «• You know our Alice has a wonder ful control over her voicc, said one iady to another. Yes/commented her companion, sweetly, she can do any thing- with it but stop it. * # « * Si Harber: Well, my little mam how do you want your hair cut? Freddy: Just like father's. And don't forget the little round hole at the top where the head comes through. Always speak kindly of the absent, said young Mr. Primly. I would re plied Miss Cayenne, if I thought it would be an inducement to some tire some people to remain so. e « « « 9 Come on! come on! said a gentle man to a little girl, at whom a dog had been barking furiously. Come on; he's quiet now. All, but said the little girl, the barks arc in him still. Little Dude: Do you think I can \ cross that field ...
JUSTIFIED. [Newspaper Article] — Stawell News and Pleasant Creek Chronicle — 11 April 1914
JUSTIFIED. A bright girl in a large school ap plied for leave to be absent half a day, i on the plea that her mother had re ceived a telegram which stated that company was on the way. "It's my father's half sister and her three boys," said the pupil anxiously, "and mother doesn't see how she can do without me because those boys al ways act so dreadfully." The teacher referred her to the printed list of r-jasons which justified absence, and asked if her case came under any of them. "I think it might come under this lieau, miss," said the girl, pointing is she spoke to the words "Domestic affliction."
CONUNDRUMS. [Newspaper Article] — Stawell News and Pleasant Creek Chronicle — 11 April 1914
CONUNDRUMS. Why docs a railway ticket-inspector cut a hole in your ticket?—To let you pass through. What should a man drink who is be hind time?—Ketchup (catch-up). Why is tea in a pot like a watch going to your uncles?—Because it goes up the spout. Why was the Turk less cool in the war than any of the allies?—Because he was an Ottoman (hotter man). Why should the poet have expected the woodman to "spare that tree" — Because he thought he was a good feller (fellow). Why may negroes he better trusted than white men not to betray secrets? —Because they always keep dark. Why is a side-saddle like a four quart measure?—Because it holds a gal on (gallon). Why are sailors whaling like false teeth ?—Because they 'i™> arter fish ile (artificial). Why is a man who pulled on boots too small for him like Jupiter?—Be cause he has conquered the tight 'uns' (Titans). At what time of the day was Adam born ?■—A little before Eve. Why is necessity like a great many barristers?—Because it knows no...
A KNOWING DOG. [Newspaper Article] — Stawell News and Pleasant Creek Chronicle — 11 April 1914
A KNOWING DOG. One summer afternoon a group of children were playing at the end of a pier, when one of them took a false step and fell in the water. None of his companions could save him, and their cries failed to bring anyone to their aid. Just as he was sinking for the third itne a splendid Newfoundland dog rushed down the pier, jumped into the water, and pulled him out. Some of the children took the dog to a con fectioner's shop, and fed him with as many cakes as their pocket-money would buy. The next afternoon the same group "f children were playing at the same time, when the canine hero came trot' ting- down to them with the most friendly nods. The dog, however, had not come out "i pure friendliness. A child' in the water meant to him a feast of cakes, and he Tesolved to try what he could do to get another good feed. Watching his opportunity, he crept up behind the youngster who was standing nearest to the edge of the l"er, and gave a sudden push which 5cnt the boy into the wat...
AN INTERESTING DISCOVERY. [Newspaper Article] — Stawell News and Pleasant Creek Chronicle — 11 April 1914
AN INTERESTING DISCOVERY. The sands in the desorts of •Chinese •Turkestan have buried a vast civilisa tion that was forgotten for centuries. Tho dry sand preserved i intact num bers of manuscripts in an unknown language written in unknown charac ters. These M. Gauthiot, a young Frenchman, has managed to decipher by tlio fortunato finding of fragments that had notes in other known lan guages. This discovory, it is expected, will lead to the world gaining a much further knowledgo of tho lost coun try, Sogdiana, and its people, men tioned by Strabo and Heradotus.
WHAT YOUR NAILS TELL. [Newspaper Article] — Stawell News and Pleasant Creek Chronicle — 11 April 1914
WHAT YOUR NAILS TELL. Although you may not know it, your flngor linila will toll nn observer moro Ulan you know com-oniing youi'soU'l To ono who knows tlio snimeo of Ibo nnils, your character nml phynicul tendencies ciui bo cloarly diagnosed, oven ns you Hit talking to Uim, says an Italian scientist. Tlioso who havo vory long nails havo not tha sanio stamina and Klronglli an havo thoso possossed of short broad nails. Persons with long nails aro in clined to havo woalc ehosts and lungs, and must bo exceedingly caroful that tlioy do not contract any lung affoc tion. If tlio nails aro fluted and ribbed, Clioso characteristics aro ovon moro marked. Long nails, ns a rulo, donoto poor circulation, l'lonty of outdoor oxorcise is what such porsons need. If tho nailB aro short and flat ot tho base, thoro may bo a tandcncy to heart disoaso. If tho moons at tho baso of tho nails aro small, this deno tes poor circulation; wliilo, if thoy aro large, tho circulation is good. Flat, sunkon nails ar...
ONLY ONE OBSTACLE. [Newspaper Article] — Stawell News and Pleasant Creek Chronicle — 11 April 1914
ONLY ONE OBSTACLE. "No," declared tlve young man, with a touch of Badness in his voice; "it may be that some day I shall be happy, but at present it is beyond me." His companions were interested. "Tliero is a girl I love dearly," he continued. "She would have me if I asked her, but X daro not. X really cannot marry on two thousand pounds a year." Amazement was depicted on the faces of his friends. "You can't marry on two thousand pounds a yearl" gasped ono. "Why not?" "Ah," sighed the young man, "simp ly hecause I haven't got two thousand pounds a year."
DR. EMDEE'S NERVE. [Newspaper Article] — Stawell News and Pleasant Creek Chronicle — 11 April 1914
DR. EMDEE'S NERVE. "Speaking of doctor's bills," said Coopor, as lio lit a cigar, "I have ro cently had revealed to mo tho power of nerve which I suppose was possess ed only by plumbers. You know young Dr. Emdeo?" "Yes." "Well, you know ho was sweet on my daughter Grace for some time?" "Yes." "Well, one cold day last winter she mot him in town when slio' was shop ping, and ho asked her to have a cup of coffeo at an A.B.O." "Very nice." "Wait. A little whilo after that Grace throw him over.'' "Poor follow." "Yes. But he had his wits about him, and yesterday I got this bill:— "James Alfred Emdoo, M.D. Surgery Hours: 9—10 a.m. G. Coopor. Dr. To treating daughter £1 1 0.' "