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PROM PAPUA. WHITE WOMAN ON PATROL. TANGO NOT THERE YET. [Newspaper Article] — Gippsland Standard and Alberton Shire Representative — 5 June 1914
PROM PAPUA. WHITE WOMAN ON PATROL. TANGO NOT -THERE VET. Mrs. Greenland, who is at present in Sydney, lias spent just eight months in Papua on the Mambare River, in which division her husband was magi strate. It Is away up near the Ger man border, and the only other white woman lived 70 miles away! "But we knew each other ^uite well," Mrs. Greenland said, "although we actually met only three days ago, here in Sydney. They had plenty ot eggs at the other station, and a na tive boy would often arrive with a lit tle gift Irom my unseen friend. It seemed so strange meeting for the first time across a hotel dinner table, after having exchanged so many let ters through native carriers." "What did you do all day?" "Well, in the morning I'd fuss round, thinking I was very busy with odds and ends, then I'd read, and on the station there is always something happening, so that time never hangs on our hands. You would hardly be lieve that although I took out quite a stock of sewing, there was n...
NEWSY NOTES. [Newspaper Article] — Gippsland Standard and Alberton Shire Representative — 5 June 1914
newsy notes. In Spain one may see "moving pic tures" all the evening in open-air res taurants for the price of a ctip of coffee or a glass of wine. Twelve per cent of all deaths Switzerland, which is supposed to be a paradise for people afflicted v consumption, arc caused by that di sease. The great Indian crocodile in tho Frankfort Zoo broke its jawbone. Dr. Arnold Marx removed part of the boi'J and replaced it with aluminium. Light pasios from the moon to the earth in l',4s. The magnolia has a more powerful perfume than any other flower. • * * Some 100,000,000 people speak the English language. German is spoken by 130,000,000; French by 70,000,000. "II knoekoutora son adversaire" is how a PariB paper prophesies a box er's success in a forthcoming match. •* * * A caterpillar's eyes can see nothing at a distance beyond two-flftlis of an inch. . * * * .S It is only necessary to. boil a cork for five minutes to make it fit any bottle. In the Bank of England there are many silver ignot...
PAPERHANGING. [Newspaper Article] — Gippsland Standard and Alberton Shire Representative — 5 June 1914
PAPERHANGING. Who undertook, :it ma's request. A paperhanging job with zest. And nobly strove to do his best? That's Father. Who, having fixed the first piece flush. He turned his back to get his brush. What was it came down with a rush? The paper. Who, running &lt;]own the steps in haste, Fell head first in a pail 6£ paste, And then complained about tlie taste? 'Twas Father. Who with the brush the paper tore, And dropped the pieces on the floor, Then stuck a length across the door? Wh.v, Father. Who came and watched him with a fro'iyi!. And said, "Look here, you silly clown, You've got the pattern upside down?" 'Twas Mother. Who murmured, as he choked a sob, "A working man I will not rob, We'll get a pro. to do the job?" Poor Father.
A Neddyfying Move. [Newspaper Article] — Gippsland Standard and Alberton Shire Representative — 5 June 1914
A Neddyfylng Move. The Mayor's wife was highly elated over her husband's unexpected knight hood, and it was with gratification that she induced him to consent to their speedy removal to a more classy neighborhood. She at once dispatched a letter to the principal carriers to send, on a certain date, one of their largest fur niture removers. On the day of the removal, how ever, the Mayoress was staggered to see a donkey and cart stop outside the house. "Whatever does this mean?" she demanded of the driver. "I sent for one of your largest vans!" "Be easy, mum," replied the man. soothingly. It's orhight. The big I van was bespoUe, d'ye see, so the gaf fer ses to me, ses he, 'SUyftev, yon tak * Neddy, an' do the job in twice, an* I'll j only charge tHe lady for one run.' t So 'ere M>e, mum. Won, Neddy!" "ion can build a house, but n home must grow.
A CHAPTER OF MISFORTUNE. The Story of Charles Tellier, the Inventor of Cold Storage. [Newspaper Article] — Gippsland Standard and Alberton Shire Representative — 5 June 1914
A CHAPTER OF MISFORTUNE. The Story of Charles Tellier, the Inventor of Cold Storage* A motlcsi funeral wending its way through the streets of Paris last Oc tober carried to his last resting-place die originator of a great modern in dustry. Charles Tellier, like so many inventors, made fortunes for others, while lie lived and died in obscurity anil comparative poverty. How the idea of cold storage-first entered Ills fertile brain forms a curi ous anecdote. He called, some fifty years ago, on Baron Haussman, the ''maker of modern Paris," to submit models of weaving machinery. It was a terribly lioi. afternoon, and the Pre fect, chatting pleasantly to the engin eer, laughingly observed, "Better de sign a freezing inachiue. Now or never is surely the time." The subject gave Tellier food for thought, and n freezing machine lie invented. After sundry ups and downs, a lost lawsuit, au imprison ment for debt, he saw his machine in actual working to produce artificial ice for cafes, etc., an...
WIT AND HUMOR. [Newspaper Article] — Gippsland Standard and Alberton Shire Representative — 5 June 1914
WIT AND HUMOK. Millions: They are really tile moBt devoted lovers I ever saw. Cynieus: Vee; It seems a shame that they are going to get married and spoil it all. There was a young fellow from Perth. Who was horn on the day of his birth; l.V was married, they say, On his wife's wedding-day, And he died on his last day on earth. Kivers: Why did you say so posi tively tha* a man can't do wrong by marrying a widow? Waters: Why, it's plain enough that if a man marries a widow he doesn't nrirry a miss.
Blaming Mother. [Newspaper Article] — Gippsland Standard and Alberton Shire Representative — 5 June 1914
Blaming Mother. ! "My mother made me what 1 am," 1 said the political speaker ns he proud | ly threw out his chest. | "Well," said a small man at the | rear of the hall, "she must have put in • some of her lime at other things." | As sn;»n as a woman knows what ; ihv wauls, she generally gets it. It's when slw do«\s not know what she wants that she buttles the philoso phe r. your troubles manfully. Kvery iii;'' i-ndurod bravely strengthens your rharacier: every one shirked weakens "To make ihe wheels of the day's i woiix run smoothly," says the village philosopher, "there's nothing like a litiU* oil. Marsh, peremptory com mands only exact grudging service, t'oiirtesy and consideration inspire .ipoiuaueous and conscientious work in return. j Anne Teeke: Mr, Gaeser is such an | interesting lalker. Always says some | thing one never hears from anyone ■ else. Miss Cynique: Hus he been propo sing to you, too?
PATTERN FOR LADY'S HUSSIAN COAT. [Newspaper Article] — Gippsland Standard and Alberton Shire Representative — 5 June 1914
PATTERN FOR LADY'S HUSSIAN COAT. .Made up in dark velvet trimmed with fur, this coat will look very styl ish and most up-to-date. It repre sents "Everylady's Journal" pattern No. 197, cut in three sizes—small, me dium and large. | This pattern may be bought tor ninepence from local pattern agents, or will be sent post free to any address if ninepence in stamps is sent to Dept. A, "Everylady's Jour nal." :t7G Swanston-street, Melbourne. State number of pattern and size re I quired. If a penny stamp is sent to I above address, a 48-page catalogue ' will be sent to any reader who writes j "Send free catalogue."
Withdrawn. [Newspaper Article] — Gippsland Standard and Alberton Shire Representative — 5 June 1914
Withdrawn. Two lAvuvpool councillors, A anil L5, were famous for their love of one another. One day at (.lie Council, A was dilating on the "ugly objects to be seen in Rodney Ward," when B sprang up and remarked: 'T\*e lived in Kodney Ward all my life, and I know of no uns'mhvly object." "Pardon n;«\" iiuerrupted A, "but I, too. live m UodiK-y Ward." "A!i!" flashed oni B. "ihen 1 with draw wiiai I said.' Women are very puzzling. . . . Will you toll me why they almost invari ably worship gold braid and scarlet* au&lt;l yet are foremost, in denouncing war, and are horrified at the mere id*'a of manslaughter? The flowers of happiness are water ed by smiles.
Father's Dilemma. [Newspaper Article] — Gippsland Standard and Alberton Shire Representative — 5 June 1914
Father's Dilemma. A parent's life is one long responsi bility. It's a wonder that so many of the genus discharge their duties so ac ceptably. A writer has discovered another parental problem; or perhaps he merely calls attention to one which many fathers have discpvered for themselves. "How's the family?" one inquired of a happily married man. "Well, my children are at a dim cult age now." "Difficult? Why, they've all passed the measles and teething stage, have they not?" "Long ago. But you don't know a father's troubles. My children are at the age where if I use slang my wife says I'm setting a bad example, and if 1 speak correctly, the kids think I'm a back number. Which would you do?"
A GREAT VICTORY. [Newspaper Article] — Gippsland Standard and Alberton Shire Representative — 5 June 1914
A GREAT VICTORY. Two large orchards, side by side, brought much profit to Farmer Lee, and much trouble, for the orchards were considered fair game by the boys of the village, and two orchards are harder to watch than one. One day, looking from one orchard to' the other, Lee saw a small boy shin down a tree, and, uttering a word of warning to another imp still up among the apples, ran off. Lee reach ed that tree in record time. "Got yer this time," he roared to the boy. almost hidden among the leaves. "Come down!" Getting no answer, and not being in a hurry, he sat down aud waited, un til a servant brought him a note that had just been dropped through the letter-box. He did not wait after he had read it. as follows:— "Some people 'as apples, some 'as sence. You bin watcliln' a pair of trousis stuffed with straw, and we bin gettin' your apples from the other orchard. Great victory for sence.
LOVE'S ARITHMETIC. [Newspaper Article] — Gippsland Standard and Alberton Shire Representative — 5 June 1914
LOVE'S ARITHMETIC. He was teaching her arithmetic, He said that was IiIb mission; He kissed her once, he kissed her twice, He said, "Now that's addition." And so he added smack to smack • In silent satisfaction, Till timidly she gave him one back, And wliiBpered, "That's subtrac tion." But pa appeared, he raised his foot, And snorted with decision; He kicked poor John ten yards away, And said, "That's long division."