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"KISS THE BRIDE." DISAPPOINTED GUESTS. [Newspaper Article] — Upper Murray and Mitta Herald — 18 June 1914
"KISS THE BRIDE." DISAPPOINTED GUESTS. When Robert Spencer, o£ Pennsyl vania and Mabel Doclcard of Kansas, both members of a theatrical com pany, were married by Judge Miller, of Oklahoma,. California, the bride groom invited everyone present to kiss the bride. There was a rush for kisses, but the judge ordered them to keep their seats while he went into the question. Two law books were consulted in a search, for a precedent lor: such a proceeding, and the Judge Anally an nounced that the age; limit barred the bridegroom from issuing any such In vitation. >
His Turn Came. [Newspaper Article] — Upper Murray and Mitta Herald — 18 June 1914
His Turn Came. She stood there and glared at him. "And you mean to stand there and ask me to press your trousers," she demanded. "Why, yes, my dear," responded Mr. Ptnbb; "is that asking too much?" "I should say it is, John Henry Stubb. I'd have you know that when you married me you did not marry a fiat-iron." That evening his turn came. "John, dear," said Mrs. Stub!), "just button up my blouse before you go. There's a good man." "Nay, nay, Maria. When you ac cepted me you did not say 'yes' to a buttonhook," and, picking up his gl ves, he departed, leaving Maria too amazed to answer.
SNAIL'S REAL PACE. [Newspaper Article] — Upper Murray and Mitta Herald — 18 June 1914
SNAIL'S REAL PACE. "At a snail's pace" is a common expression, and usually signifies & very slow speed. But what do you suppose is the actual pace made by a snail in travelling? Wo can give it in accurate figures. One foot in four minutes, or ift the rate of one mile in sixteen days, if travelling continuously. These are the figures given by Geo. Zahnizer, a civil engineer, taken from actual observation. A short time since Mr. Zalinizer was waiting for a train at a country sta tion. He had nothing iu particular to do, and "killed a little time" by tim ing a snail which was creeping along the ground. That snail travelled just exactly one foot in four minutes. Mr. Zah nizer has figured out that it would re quire sixteen days for that snail to move a mile. Messrs. Stone and Co., meat sales men, Metropolitan Meat Market, Mel bourne, report that prices have been ruling high. During the first week of this month they obtained up to 7%d. per pound for porkers (prime small), and for ...
MOTHER'S JOB. [Newspaper Article] — Upper Murray and Mitta Herald — 18 June 1914
MOTHER'S JOB. "A mother is simply a beast of bur den at the present day, and is treated as if she were of no consequence."— From a letter l)y Mrs. Nellie Kinching ton, who is assumed to be "Mrs." be cause of her intimate knowledge of Mother's job. Shove it on to Mother, Mother takes the lot, Mother totes the baby Wintry days or hot; Mother carts the cabbage In a little bag. Every time the familee Goes on some excursion spree, Beach or bushland picnic tea, Mother humps the swag. Billy's pants are going, Mother gets a job; Kitchen floor is dirty, Mother takes the swab; Trouble in the union, Father's out of work, Vital principles at stake, Capital must bend or brealc, While there is the rent to make, Mother mustn't shirk. Mother does the shopping, Weather dry or damp, ' We have got her listed As a cargo tramp; Just another bundle On to Mother's load; Bowed with years of toil and care, Showing signs of wear and tear, Doing everybody's share, Mother takes the road. Mother hauls the waggo...
UNLIKELY INTERVIEWS. [Newspaper Article] — Upper Murray and Mitta Herald — 18 June 1914
UNLIKELY INTERVIEWS. A Schoolboy and His Master. Dear Sir, when I deserved the cane Last night, you let mo off again; And though I do not love the smart, And your compunction melts my heart, I do not think it good to he Treated with so mucli lenier.cy. 'Tis only just to your impression To make a permanent impression By sparing not the rod. How oft I've seen a grown man spoiled and soft, Wi.thout an ounce of grit or weight, All fluffy and effeminate, " Because he never underwent At Bchool his proper punishment. Dear Sir, let me not grow that way. But flog me rather every day; So I shall not he dubbed a fool, But rise an honor to the school. —"Windsor Magazine." Satisfied we white people are con servative in our food tastes. For in stance, we eat the hefty banana in all its glory of rawness. In the countries where the fruit grows, the native wouldn't give you "Malo" for a ripe banana. He knows a thing or three. He consumes it in green state, just before it softens and gets sugary. Whe...
RICE TO HATCH EGGS. A PECULIAR CHINESE SYSTEM. [Newspaper Article] — Upper Murray and Mitta Herald — 18 June 1914
RICE TO HATCH EGGS. A PECULIAR CHINESE SYSTEM. Chinese poultry farmers in the dis tricts near Amoy, have a singular sys tem of hatching hens' and ducks' eggs. Ity'is explained in an American consu lar report that the breeder roasts a quantity of unhusked rice and when it is lukewarm spreads a 3in. layer in a wooden tub, and places about 100 eggs thereon; another layer of rice is spread over the eggs. Each tub Ins six 'layers of rice and five layers of eggs; so that there are 500 eggs in each tub. The rice is heated once every 24 hours, the eggs being taken out at such times. When the eggs are put in the rice again the bottom layer is placed on the top. The chicks and ducklings are produced in from 20 to 30 days.
PROTEST BY THE VICAR. HATLESS BRIDESMAIDS. [Newspaper Article] — Upper Murray and Mitta Herald — 18 June 1914
PROTEST BY THE VICAR. HATLESS BRIDESMAIDS. The Rev. II. N. Bales, Vicar o£ Wal them-cross (Fug.), lias entered a pro test against what lie describes as the growing custom of bridesmaids and other women in bridal parties attend ing the marriage service with uncov ered heads. He says that it is com mon for bridesmaids to appear at the service either without hats, or with something which by no stretch of imagination can be called a covering for the head. In future, the clergy of his parish will decline, to solemn ise marriages where the scriptural rule is not observed.
TRAVELLING BY AIRSHIP. "A LOVELY SENSATION." [Newspaper Article] — Upper Murray and Mitta Herald — 18 June 1914
TRAVELLING BY AIRSHIP. "A LOVELY SENSATION." An Australian girl now on a visit to Germany sends an interesting let ter telling of the wonderful progress of aerial navigation: "I must tell you of my latest ad venture. My brother-in-law chartered the Zeppelin airship, "Victoria Lou ise," and invited fourteen of us for a three hours'.flight. So we all went to Hamburg and stayed the night there, and early next morning started off to the hall where this gigantic ma chine is stationed. We climbed into her by means of a ladder; then she was guided out of the hall by about a hundred soldiers, all tugging on to her to keep her from rising. When she was clear of the hail they let her go, and off we went at the rate of 80 miles per hour from Hamburg to Kiel, to see t)ie opening of the regatta. It was a lovely sensation, and an ideal way of travelling—no jolting or rat tling as in an express train, and not that constant sensation of speed and the after result of drumming in the ears as in a mot...
LADIES' LETTER. [Newspaper Article] — Upper Murray and Mitta Herald — 18 June 1914
LADIES' LETTER. By "Irene," in Melbourne. A quaint but plaintive story comes from one o£ our suburbs. Two poor school-mistresses found their little shilling-a-week school was inadequate for bread and rent. They tried to sell a handsome mantle, relie of a moneyed past. The mother of a pu pil was induced to purchase. Sha named her own terms—time-payment one shilling per week. The sisters agreed. An extra shilling a wee!: was full of meaning to them. But suddenly the child of this mother stayed away. Days and weeks passed and she did not return. The mother continued payment until the debt was cleared off. Then the shilling -for tlio mantle ceased and the child re turned to school. The child did not lose much. And the poor little school-mistresses, who are not as good at arithmetic as at "accomplish ments," are still pondering over the profit and loss of their transaction. Said Captain Brownlow, H.A.N., speaking 011 Einpir.e Day: "I think girls should have compulsory training as well as...
A Hint to Lovers. [Newspaper Article] — Upper Murray and Mitta Herald — 18 June 1914
A Hint to Lovers. Willie and Maggie had been busy courting for over two years, meeting every night in Hope-street. About a fortnight ago, Willie, in parting wita his beloved, made the usual remark: "I'll meet ye in Hope-street, next Wednesday niclit. Mind ye be punc tU"1;Deed, ay, lad," replied Med, wi' a merry twinkle in ber eyo, "we bae met noo a lang time in Hope-street, an' I was jist thinking that it wis high time we were shifting our tryst in'-place a street further along. Wlnt wad ye say to Union-street?" Willie has taken the hint, and tlie invitations are out.
Chill Proof. [Newspaper Article] — Upper Murray and Mitta Herald — 18 June 1914
Chill Proof. The Duke of Fotheringill had given » a great feast at Fotheringill Castle to commemorate the coming-of-age o£ his son and heir, the dashing Lord Highcollar. To this function had «been invited the journalistic representative of a leading "daily." On the scribe's return to Pleet-st. he was asked to relate his adventures at the ducal home, and, among the questions, someone asked him "i£ the duchess's affability had not somewhat embarrassed him." "Not a. bit of it," ho replied, with ' that air of serene case, calmness, and self-satisfaction which so eminently.' becomes him. '"Before I took up newspaper work, my boy, I used to. test refrigerators!"
POINTED REPLIES. [Newspaper Article] — Upper Murray and Mitta Herald — 18 June 1914
POINTED REPLIES. It is very amusing sometimes to hear the ever-ready and witty replies made by some people to the .questions they are asked. It is said by some to be an "extra gift," for, no- matter where they are or liow quick the ques tion is given, they are able to give an answer or offer an excuse. The fol lowing are rather interesting:— "Is your client pleading insanity?" "I haven't decided," replied the law yer. "He wants to look the ground over and see which is the easiest to escape from—the prison or the asy lum." A clumsy carver once sent a goose into a lady's lap. His apology was ■better than his carving. "Ah, madam, how potent your charms are! They attract not only the living, but also t'.u dead." On an examination paper on "How we are Governed" was the question: "If the Prime Minister, the Chancel lor of the Exchequer, the Home Secre tary, and all the other members of the Cabinet should die, who would officiate?" A boy of twelve thought for a moment; then the happy inspi...
Advertising [Newspaper Article] — Upper Murray and Mitta Herald — 18 June 1914
A Severe Cask of EcziurA Cunra by I Db» Shuldon's Magnetic LinkiIent. A ! Notting Hill man testifies'.—" I am writing to lot you know that I have been cured of j eczema by Dr. Sheldon's Magnetic Lini-| went," writes Mr. W. Bocdecker, Nutting: 1 Hill, vifl. Oalcleigh, Victoria. " I was had for mx months, and could not sleep at night with the pain. I tried many remedies for it hub thov all failed, till at last I heard of Dr. SlwWon'.s Magnetic Liniment, ho I got a bottle, and after lining it three times I whs cured, and am feeling muuh bolter. I will j always have u-hot-tic (if it with mo." Price, I 1/6 and 3/'.—Obtainable everywhere. LEADING DRAPERY HOUSE! We Supply all your Wants in GENERAL And pvorything you require for Men's, Women's and Children's Wear, ALSO BOOTS AND SHOES. The Big Store, Main St., Tallangatta] GEORGE SMITH'S Special Seeds. Giant Asters, Stocks, Pansies, Ami all Flower ami Vegetable Seeds. H'yrT lir.rrlv colli cliimito FRUIT TRUES, iVI KOSE PLANTS, SB HUBS., gro...
EGGS THAT CROAK. [Newspaper Article] — Upper Murray and Mitta Herald — 18 June 1914
EGGS THAT CROAK. That young unhatched crocodiles ut ter an audible croaking cry within the eggs in which they are laid is averred by "Knowledge," and it adds that the cry is so loud and distinct that it can be heard when the eggs are buried under one or two yards of sand. Dr. W. A. Lamborn tested the fact at Lagos, on the West African coast. He*lieard a croaking noise from be low a dry path, and, digging in the path to investigate the cause, he dis covered thirteen crocodile's eggs at a depth of about 18in. All the young crocodiles batched out within half an hour of being dug up. So far back as 1899 Dr. Voeltzkow noticed that unhatched Madagascar crocodiles uttered a cry from the egg at a depth of two yards, and that any shock, as of a heavy tread, near the egg caused the baby crocodiles to produce this sound "with the mouth closed, as we produce hiccup sounds." In this- way they inform the female crocodile when she visitB the nest that they want her aid, whereupon she scrapes the s...
BEECHWORTH AND ALBURY HOSPITALS. [Newspaper Article] — Upper Murray and Mitta Herald — 18 June 1914
BEECHWORTH AND ALBURY HOSPITALS. At tho lust mooting of tho committoo of Bmx-liworth Hospital (according to fcbo Register J Mr. Neil Sutherland, col lector, reportod having ltist month visited tho railway construction works at Tal langattu, and. through tho courtesy of Mr. Archibald M'Ourdio, tho engineer iu churgo, and .Mr. S. Buostou, pay master, and tho whole of llio staff, as well as through tho sympathy of tho employes, lio had received tho handsome sum of £23. Ha had met scores of ex patients and their friends oil the works, and all spidco iu glowing terms of tho kind and skilful treatment they had re ceived at tho hands of the doctors, matron and nurses of tho institution. IIu aakod I hut Mr. M'Ourdio and Mr. Bnastou be appointod lifegovoruorsof tho institution-. Mr. Sutherland. also brought under notico remarks passed at the Inst meet-, ing of the Albury Hospital, taking ox coption to lieochworth Hospital receiving money from the Tallangatta-Oudgewa railway works. It was sta...