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A Farewell Supper. [Newspaper Article] — Great Southern Advocate — 2 July 1914
A Farewell Supper. On the retirement of a rich raanu facturer, who had been consistently stingy in his business career, his work men presented liim with an illumina ted address, smartly designed by one ol their number. He was obviously touched by the gift, and acknowledged it in 11 neat UtlJe speech. > "But there's one thing abouV it I can't quite understand," ho n!dded. "What does that little sketch m the corner represent?" , &lt; "That's a picture of you giving your workmen a supper," the artist explain ed. "But I never did such a thing in mj life!" "I know that, sir, and my mates said you never would; but X thought I'd put it in, just to give you a sport in' chance of provin' 'em all wrong!" The chance was taken, and the fare well supper was a great success.
Correspondence. TO THE EDITOR. [Newspaper Article] — Great Southern Advocate — 2 July 1914
Correspondence. :u: TO THE KDITOIt. Sir,—During tho Arbor day celebration-; at Jootbo State School 011 Friday the 26th iust., one,,- o£ tho speakers said that it was the first titno tba' Arbor d:iy had been kept up at tho Jeotho school. Now. as an ex-pupil of that school, I feel it my duty to challenge that statement. . I hive been a pupil of tho Joetlio school from l'J03 to the end of 1913, and during those years wo never missod Arbor day. If Mr —;—will kindly stop tliis way. I will point out what wc have done. Look to the cast, sue those lovety old Eng lish oaks aud olms, they wore planted j one Arbor day ; now come down to the northern boundary aud you cannot help admiring the beautiful Rhrubs and tree* growing there iu profusion, in shrub:1 and trees practically tho whole world i &lt; represented, from tho Canadian" Mapl> right dowu to our own popular trees, the waUlo and the gum, From this paradiso of t»reenury lot us wauder over to tho orchard. Hero there are from 3...
How He Managed It. [Newspaper Article] — Great Southern Advocate — 2 July 1914
How He Managed It. "Now, guard," said Mr. Pilklngton, "remember, If I have this carriage all to myself for the whole journey, you will receive half-a-crown from me." "Very good, sir," said the guard; and he locked the door and went to his van to think out how he would invest the hair-crown when ho got It. All went well till (hey got to a sta tion about the middle of the journey, and thon an irascible old gentleman pulled at the door of Pilklngton's car riage as if he were pulling for a prize In a tug-of-war. "Guard! guard!" he roared; "open tills door. I know your tricks, and I won't countenanco 'em. I've got the right to travel in this carriage, and I mean to do It!" The guard hurried up and whispered i a few words to the Irasclblo gentleman, who at once went quietly away to seek room elsewhere. "I-Iow did you manage It?" Pilklng- t ton asked the guard at the end nf the i journey, as ho pressed the promised j half-crown Into his band. "Mow did j you manage to get thai bad-tempered ...
Advertising [Newspaper Article] — Great Southern Advocate — 2 July 1914
Motherhood. o " Motherhood," as tho lute Dr TaImago observed, •' is tho noblest aspiration of ■"wonMinhood ill Something kicking in iba hoiao iuto wJiitli no baby has over entered. Without, the advent o£" the little strangor" tho happi ness of tho husband and wife is never quite complete. A book of vaiuablo in formation, telliuij how thousand? of people have had their hearts' desiro gratified, will bo sent free to anyone who outs out this advt. and sends it to IX'jit. 4'J, Ladies College of Health, Phair's Buildings, 327 Collins St. Molbouruc.
INTERVIEWING AN ORGANIST. An Ordeal For Him. [Newspaper Article] — Great Southern Advocate — 2 July 1914
INTERVIEWING AN ORGANIST.v An Ordeal For Him. She w:w an inquisitive old ladj (writes "H." in the "Musical Worlrl"), ■uid as die organist, through the mir ror, saw her adjust her gold pinne-no7 wth an air of determined Investigation, yet withal- of critical appreciation, he abruptly closed liIs improvised fanta sia with a few crashing chords on the full organ, in the faint hope of escap ing the horror of the threatened inter view by scaring awav the apparition he saw in the glass. Scarcely daring to turn round, lie was about to quit his seat, when lie was arrested by what lie thought to be a ciphering i'l the upper register of the Swell. Ho listened attentively. "Nice, very nice indeed, Mr. Organ ist—superb! Why, it nearly shooli my glasses off! . Dear me, what was it, may I ask?" The poor organist shuddered, and '.urning round, he encountered a beam ng smile from behind the shining •ince-nez. He bowed politely and ro iigned himself to his fate. It was evi lent from his air that he ...
A Cool Visitor. A respectable-looking man went into shop and asked: [Newspaper Article] — Great Southern Advocate — 2 July 1914
A Cool Visitor. A rcspectable-looUing man went into shop and asked: "Phwat's the price of your whisky ■ gallon?" "I have some very good at ton hillings," said the landlord. "Can you let ine have a sample o' t?" ■ He put about a wineglassful In a umbler, thinking the customer might want some water to It. The iii:in look ?&lt;1 ai it in the glass, "smelt ; it, and 'rank about half of it. "Aye," he said, "that's varra good. Have ye naething a wee bit strong er?" ■ ■ >■ • The landlord'said he; could let him have some unreduced at twelve shil lings. ' , The man asked for a sample of it. which was given to him in another ijlass. He drank the half of it, and iikeil it bolter, then said: "I think they would make a good whisky if they was mixed." He then poured the contents of one tumbler into the other, and drank the lot, saying: "That's a great improvement. 1'15 call in and seo ye some other day."
How Jones Was "Bowled." [Newspaper Article] — Great Southern Advocate — 2 July 1914
How Joneb Was "Bowled." It was (bo occasion of the annual cricket match, Married v. Single, and the bachelor brow of Bailer, the cap tain of the "single" team, was dark willi care, for Jones, ilie married men's crack bat, was piling up runs at an enormous rate. "If we could only get Jones out," murmured LSailur, "we could win the match hands down." And then an evil thought struck him, and he chuckled. "Hilly Tompkins." he whispered to a lad anions the spectators, "run round and tell Sirs. Jones that her husbnnd is playing cricket instead of go!"g to '.vork. Here's a penny. Now run!" In five minutes' \i;nc. a ;\&lt;;ry-hended woman rushed npon the field. and as simii as i:e ,sa\v her. "was "out," and maki-iK a rwrd sprint .'or safety. As his irate r.pou?e pass'd the wic kets, hi;i.' burrowed a slump, and re port Rays that she continued the game when -slit' Jones—and won. So did His bachelors. All experience teaches us that we become that which wo make 012;. lelyet,
Advertising [Newspaper Article] — Great Southern Advocate — 2 July 1914
SUBSCRIBE TO THE G-reat - tiou.tIi.erri. ■ r Advocate. ESTABLISHED 1889. TBLEPHONP iTO. 16 Published Every Thursday Morning*. Circulated entensively throughout the 7 Shires of Poowoug and Jeetho, Phillip Island arid Woolamni, Woorayl (part) and Oranbourne (part). The Oldest Paper in South Gippslaud. Subsci-iptioii—1, jj :;r;s'SLl Advertising Correspondence Charges Always , Moderate Invited. ; A LlTliliAM SUl'PLliMKNT of an exceptionally high order of merit is issued each week with Ihe G.S. ADVOCATE. A thrilling Serial of absorbing interest is one of the chief features. Subscription starts at any lime. OUR JOB PRINTING DEPARTMENT IS OCR SPECIALITY. IT PAYSx^g^ lo have your Printing turned out Neatly. Every description of Commercial Printing neatly and promptly executed. All kinds of book work done on the premises. Promoters of Entertainments requiring Printing, Posters, Cards, aud Programmes Btaould send for samples aud prices. GANNON & CO., (U. I. liANNON, A. JuiUTOWiTCU), i...
PATTERN FOR CHILD'S MAGYAR DRESS. [Newspaper Article] — Great Southern Advocate — 2 July 1914
PATTERN FOR CHILD'S MAGYAR DRESS. This useful little magyar dress may be made of delaine and trimmed with fancy braid. It is also suitable for cashmere, serge or flannel. It repre sents "Everylady's Journal" pattern No. 125 and is cut in one size only— for a child of two years. This pattern may be bought for ninepence from local pattern agent, or will be sent post free to any address it ninepence in stampB is Bent to Dept. "A," "Everylady's Journal," 37G Swanston-street, Melbourne. State number of pattern and size required. If ii penny stamp is sent to above ad dress, a 48pp. catalogue will be sent to any reader who writes "send free catalogue/]
WIT AND HUMOR. Deceived. [Newspaper Article] — Great Southern Advocate — 2 July 1914
WIT AND HUMOR. Deceived. Little Willie was left alone with sister's beau. "Mr. Chumpley," lie begau presently, "what is a popinjay?" Sister's beau wrinkled his forehead. "Wh-why, a popinjay is a-a vain bird." "Are you a bird, Mr. Chumpley?*' "Certainly not." "That's tunny. Ala said you was a popinjay, and pa said there was no doubt about your being a jay, an' sis ter said there was small hopes of your poppin', an' now you say you ain't a bird at all. That's funny." A certain distinguished professor was constantly making curious ex periments. One evening when a few friends called at his laboratory they found him bending anxiously over a spirit lamp on which was a small pan. "Well," said one, "what is it to night?" "Guess," murmured the professor. "Micrococci?" asked one. "No." "I'neuniococci?" asked the other. "No." "Spirochaetae?" "No." The visitors ran over the scale of micro organism as far as they knew it. Then one of them said, "Well, we give it up. What is it?" The professor sm...
Advertising [Newspaper Article] — Great Southern Advocate — 2 July 1914
A wringin' out clothes and peggin' 'em up to dry makes yer feel pretty tired, 1 can tell yer—right on th' top o' a 'ard wash too—still yer don't mind much if yer can get a cup o' good tea every now an' then, an' my word it do go down alright— it just puts new life into yer. They say as how too much tea isn't good—well, 1 dunno nothin' about that, but I does know this, 1 cuddent work all day without my cup o' tea, and for preference t likes Robur, th' same as 1 uses in my own 'ome—1 uses th' No. J Grade, an' I thinks it's cheaper 'n any other tea 'cos it goes a long way, an' makes such a nice cup o' tea. In some 'ouses I goes to they uses th' No. 2 Grade, and it's all right—still, 1 thinks th' No. ] tastes better than any other, and that's why 1 uses it. 7Tit Washerwoman.
HABITS. [Newspaper Article] — Great Southern Advocate — 2 July 1914
B: ^U: How shall I a habit break? As you did that habit make; A8 you gathered you must lose; As you yielded, now refuse. Thread by thread ttie strands. we twist, Till they bind us—neck and wrist; Thread by thread the patient hand Must untwine, e'er free we stand. A great character is like a magnet. Its iufluence may be unseen, but it is none the less powerful. Men pay homage to genuine excellence as spon taneously as they draw breath. Give your neighbor who may be discouraged a kind, hopeful and up lifting talk and help him take a new lease 011 life. A kind word at the right time may be of more benefit to him than financial assistance.
GIRLS WHO WANT "CAREERS." [Newspaper Article] — Great Southern Advocate — 2 July 1914
SIRL8 WHO WANT "CAREER*." . Never was there a more mistake? Idea, girls, than that triumph over the world brings happiness to women; it doesn't—it far more often brings dis appointment. For the things that make women' fiappy cannot be bought with power; fame and money often frighten them away. The things that make women happj. must be won by charm, bv lovabU ness. You think this is "preaching"? It isn't! You soo, I know so many wo men who have triumphed and have not been happy. So don't neglect the comfortable arts ' in pursuit of the fine arts, aud don't neglect the friends who love you for what you are, in pursuit of friends you hope to make honor you tor what you mean to become. There's nothing much emptier than ihe kind of friendship we get by vir tue of our success in Ihe world. People who have to put up with a great deal of that sort of friendship are always wishing they could run away and hide their identity and forget their success, and see -what folks would really think of ...
At the Pantomime. [Newspaper Article] — Great Southern Advocate — 2 July 1914
At the Pantomime. An artist appearing in one of tlia Birmingham pantomimes made an amusing, if unintended "gag" whilst performing in a local music hall. Par from adopting the traditional "humor ous" conception of the relationship of married moil with mothers-in-law, the relations existing between tliis gentle man and the mother of his wife are of a most affectionate character. Anxiou:' that she should sec him perform at the hall in question, he sent her a pas.i ' for a particular seat near the stage, and whilst doing his "turn" he cast !:!;&lt; / ves in the direction of the seat he hail selected, in order to give mothor-in law a smile of recognition. Owing, however, to some misnnder standing, the lady had been shown tn a seat elsewhere, and not seeing her In the place he expected, he momen tarily suspended his "patter" and gazed rapidly around the house. "What's tiie matter?" inquired his partner with whom he was giving a humorous sketch. Quite candidly he replied: "I'm look...
His Only Excuse. [Newspaper Article] — Great Southern Advocate — 2 July 1914
I His Only Excuse. There is an eccentric lndy in a country town who would like to see the male shop assistant as extinct as the dodo. She drives from shop to shop in a sumptuous carriage, and whenever she finds a man behind the counter, she does her utmost to per suade him to adopt another calling. "Why don't you join the ranks?" she asked of a broad-sliouhlercd young fellow as she watched his big fingers cutting off a yard of ribbon. "This in sipid calling is sucking the manhood out of you. Leave laces and ribbons and calicoes to women, and enlist." "I thank you, madam," answered the young man dispassionately; "but there is my duty to the shop to consider." "Your duty to the shop! My man. what has your master done to earn your gratitude? Absorbed the best years of your life, lulled your ambi tion, and stunted your brain! And what does he give you in return? Xext to nothing a week, and a half holiday on Saturdays! Bah! Throw him off as you would an old glove, and take the shilling!"...
CELEBRATED LADY TRAVELLER Her Remarkable Career. [Newspaper Article] — Great Southern Advocate — 9 July 1914
CELEBRATED LADY TRAVELLEf Her Remarkable Career. One the most interesting, t'd l>«e;i:is(' uie of the earliest, trn e!!::ri> v.-as I.iuiy Iiestor Stanhope, th> ie&lt;. • of William Pitt, over whos ;.ln- presided. The death of he -nele, auil ol' her nearest relative 'It the Uuly free to indulge in an him or fancy which a natural hatn f conventionality might suggest t ;er. This took the form of an Jflvfiii 'roiiH life- of travel in Kastoi'ii lands. Accordingly, after a very few prepti Uous. and with no companions ( 'er own - position or sex. Lady Swi 'i|io started on her long journe; Iter halting for some time at Coi 'antinople, she proceeded clown th asteni sho, es of tfsra AlediterranTr 3 far as Syria, finally pitching no jnt on Mount Lebanon. Adopting th ■.aimers, customs, and even the dres f the lawless tribes around her, th nglish woman soon gained a marvr us iti.'liior.co over them. It is r •irded that she was crowned Quec f the Kast at Palmyra by fifty tlio . i...
RUINED RELICS. [Newspaper Article] — Great Southern Advocate — 9 July 1914
RUINED RELICS. In a book entitled "Adventures o Tncle Sam's -Soldiers," tltere is ai musing story of a young soldier wli&lt; vas a determined collector of wa files. Oiic dav he found several unexplo ed shells, most "of them very largi '6 curry them all into camp wai mpossible, but lie bore, lliem to ; •pot in a wood, laid them in a rov n the ground, and covered them witl rushwood. He congratulated Ir'msc! n ilie groat addition they would malti o his collection. Some days later he was arousec. mm his slnmbcrs by tlie bugle call o boots and saddle." The regiment lounted quickly and went at a gallci :i the direction ordered. Nobod\ nor- what was the trouble, but ap :arently the enemy had appeared ii orce enough to justify the alarm o! he entire post. - The next day the soldier went t( ook up his treasure. The brush-heai vas gone, and in its place was a hole is large as a cellar; leside it stood '.he colonel of the regiment and , the .•aptain of the guard. / never heard of. such...
A Farewell Supper. [Newspaper Article] — Great Southern Advocate — 9 July 1914
A Farewell Supper. On the retirement of a rich manu facturer, who had been consistently stingy in his business career, his work men presented him with an.illumina ted address, smartly, designed by one of their number. lie j\\'as obviously touched by the gift, and acknowledged It In a neat little speech. "But there's one thing about it I" can't quite understand," "he added. "What does that little sketch In the corner represent?" , "That's a picture of you giving your •workmen a supper," the artist explain ed. "But I never 313 such a thing in m> life!" "I know that, sir, and my mates said you never would; but 1 thought I'd put it in, just to give you-a sport in' chance of provin' 'em all wrong!" The chance was taken, and the fare1 well supper was a great success.