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Title: Pakenham Gazette And Berwick Shire... Delete search filter
Elephind.com contains 4,559 items from Pakenham Gazette And Berwick Shire News, samples of which are listed below. All items from this newspaper title are freely available and can be searched from the search box above. You may also search the entire collection of 2,949 newspaper titles in Elephind.com.
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LITERARY FREAKS. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 28 December 1917

LITERARY FREAKS. Tryphlodorus was the name of that Greek writer who composed an epic on the life and adventures of Ulysses in twenty-four books, from each of which books in turn one of the letters of the alphabet was omitted. In oth er words, there was no alpha in his first book, no beta in his second, and so on. It is surprising to learn that Greek authors of far greater genius than Tryphiodorus wasted time in the con struction of similar literary monstro sities. Pindar, for example, wrote an ode from which the letter "s" was pur posely omitted. Theocritus and Ana creon were guilty of the perpetration of "shaped poems." The first-named put forth an absur dity entitled "The Syrinx," an idyll so constructed as to present the appearance of a Pan's pipe, while Anacreon is charged with the author ship of an oval-shaped poem named "The Egg." Other examples of false literary taste were verses constructed in the forms of axes, wings, and altars. It would appear that the writer needed somet...

Publication Title: Pakenham Gazette And Berwick Shire News
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Vic, Australia
REMINSCENCES. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 4 January 1918

REMINSCENCES. Two men thrown together in a horse show were discussing their ad ventures with thb equine tribe. "A horse ran away with me once, and I wasn't out for two months," remarkedi the man with the trilby hat. "That's nothing," replied the man with the bowler. "I ran-away with a horse once, and wasn't out for two years !"

Publication Title: Pakenham Gazette And Berwick Shire News
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Vic, Australia
VERY NASTY. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 4 January 1918

VERY NASTY. Jilkins' best friend couldn't have called him handsome. He went to the .'pictures" the other night and sat behind a girl with a tremendous hat on. He leant this way and that, and peeped underneath and over the top, till he was tired. And then, taking his life in his' hands, so to speak, he asked the damsel if she wonld either take her hat off or sit still. "I svnt to look as well as you do," he finished. The girl glanced at him over her shoulder and smiled a smile. "Oh. do yon," she said slowly. "Well in that'case you had better go home and change your face !"

Publication Title: Pakenham Gazette And Berwick Shire News
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Vic, Australia
PADEREWSKI'S MODESTY. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 4 January 1918

PADEREWSKI'S MODESTY. Reginald de Koven recently told a story in praise of modesty. "A A roup of tourists," he said, "vtsited Von Beethoven's house. One of the tourists, a girl of twenty or so, sat down at L?rthovan's pia.?, and played the "Moonlight Sonata." none too well-Beethovan's own work, in his own room, on his own piano ! When the girl had finished she rose and said to the caretaker: "I suppose lots of famous musicians have been here and played on this instrument ?" "Well, mise.'" the caretaker ar-oar ed, gravely, 'Paderweki was here last year, and his friends urged him to play, but he shook his head, and said : "No ; I am not worthy.' "

Publication Title: Pakenham Gazette And Berwick Shire News
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Vic, Australia
VERY LATE. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 4 January 1918

VERY LATE. Brown had come home very late at night after a convivial evening at the smoke-concert, and had consumed more cigars and refreshments than were good for him. It was midnight when Brown reached home, but he did not know it. "Ah !" he muttered, "if the Church clock would only strike, I should know the time. It's too dark to see.' But bark - Just as he spoke, the clock began to strike. Breathlessly, lrown counted : "One, two, three, fonur, live, six, seven, eight, nine,-ten, eleven twelve !" But at that moment another clock began. "Thirteen," counted Brown, "four teen, zifteer, (Great scott !), sixteen, seventeen, (Gracious !), ,eighteen, nineteen, twenty ( ! ),-twenty-one, twedty-two ( ! ! !), twenty-three, (Oh, mercy on us !) twenty-four (! I ! )" Mopping his steaming trow he ex claimed : '".M; word. I've never been out so late in ny life !"

Publication Title: Pakenham Gazette And Berwick Shire News
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Vic, Australia
THE VARIATION. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 4 January 1918

THE VARIATION. A mechanic had called at a "pth" on his way home one night. and 'it had turned half-past nine when he got home Of course, his wife asked where he had been until that time. He replied : "Working over-time."' The next night it occured again, and the night after, and when he got: home on the next night his wife hap pened to be reading fairy-tales to their son, and as usual commenced, "Once upon a time," etc. She gave over reading to him, and commenced to get the father's tea fur h?m. When she asked where he had been again, she got the same reply: "I have been working over-time." The little son, having nothing to do had Ieen thinking about the fairy tales, and shouted to his mother : "Do fairy tales always begin with "Once upon a time ?" "No love ; they sometimes begin. "I have been working overtime" " re plied the mother.

Publication Title: Pakenham Gazette And Berwick Shire News
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Vic, Australia
NOTHING SERIOUS. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 4 January 1918

NOTHING SERIUUS. ----4-- A certain busineass nan of Rochester is of the opinion that he has an ex cee.ingly bright oice-boy, and noth ing pleases hi.- better than to tell how he r.cequired the youn fellow's services. A notice had been pocted in the man's shop vindow, which read as follows : "Boy Wanted. About 14 years." A lad of that age, with little that was prepossessing in his appearance,. came into the office and stated that he had read the notice. "So yon think you wt,uld like to have the position ?' asked the mer chant, patronisingly, as he gazed at, the lad over the rim of his spectacles, for some length of time. "Yes, sir," was the reply ; "I want the job,.but I don't know that I can promise to keep it for the full four teen years."

Publication Title: Pakenham Gazette And Berwick Shire News
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Vic, Australia
Narnargoon Sports. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 4 January 1918

Narnargoon Sports. Th?e annual sports on Boxing Day -ere a success, although the attend nee was not quite up to that of pre cious years. Owing to the curtailment f racing lixtures in the country, owing .o the war, an ordinary sports pro aminme had to be substituted for the isual races, and this robbed the gather ing somewhat of its attractiveness. However, all who attended spent an enjoyable day. The arrar.gements for the day were satisfactory and all the otlicials worked most energetically to nauke the affair a success. The secre tarial duties were carried out by Mr . Raftis and-3Mr J. R. Spencer, and everything worked smoothly. The re sults were as follows: B?ys' Iatce, 15 and under-T. Cun" ningh~am 1, M3. Cunningham 2, D" Dowd 3. Girls' Race--B. Cunningham 1, - Smith 2, -- Fitzpatrick 3. Boys' Race, 12 and under-H. Spen-. cer 1, J. Reidy 2, T. Halloran 3. Boys' High. Jump-T. Cunninghame - !1.I. Cunningham 2, J. Cunninghame 3. Ponies aver Hurdles-W. Kenneyj's Talma 1,- J. Spencer'...

Publication Title: Pakenham Gazette And Berwick Shire News
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Vic, Australia
CHANGING A FALSETTO VOICE INTO A BARITONE. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 4 January 1918

CHANGING A FALSETTO YOICEi INTO A BARITONE. A patient. speakin, with Dr. Frank Mead Hallock, used the falsetto voice. The patient had never spoken in the normal register. Advised to learn from an elocutionist to speak in his normal voice, this patient said he thought nothing could be done for him. In the end Dr. Hallock experimentedk with the case himself. He took this patient to a piano, although the doc tor's knowledge of that instrument is limited to the finger exercises. It turned out that the patient knew even less, for he could not carry a tune correctly nor even a single note. He was consistantly sharp or flat. His musical ear was decidedly-defect Ive. As the doctor sounded various noteeP, in the scale, the patient sang them in the falsetto, although this was diffi cult because of his defective ear. The doctor brought him down in the de scending scale as far as that voice would go and then sounded the next lower note. The" patient promptly sounded some notes in the upper scal...

Publication Title: Pakenham Gazette And Berwick Shire News
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Vic, Australia
MARKET REPORTS. DANDENONG MARKET. Wednesday, January 2. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 4 January 1918

MARKET REPPRTS. DANDENONG MARKET. Wednesday, January 2. Alex. Scott and Co., Pty. Ltd., Jos. Clarke and Co., and Adamson, Strettle aid Co.. Pty. Ltd. conjointly, report:- - A good supply of mil'cers ani springers,. the market being very firm for all classes, milkers m?king up to £27 and springers to £22. Pigs and calves ware only moderately represented, and prices all round lower, the spell of hot weather being the chief cause. Suckers were very much cheaper.

Publication Title: Pakenham Gazette And Berwick Shire News
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Vic, Australia
PLOUGH LAYS ELECTRIC WIRES TWO MEN REPLACE A SCORE. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 4 January 1918

PLOUGH LAYS ELECTRIC WIRES -4--e--- TWO M~EN REPLACE A SCORE. An American inventor has lately de cloped attachments for a motor truck which erable telephone and telegraph cables to he extended under ground i ttween military, positions x peditiously and with a minimum of labour. The equipment can be ap plied to standard trucks at compara tively low expense. An adjustable plough that will cut furrows of diff erent depths is fixed to a car immed iately at the back of the driver's seat and a steel tube through which a cable can be passed from a large spool held in position on a cradle on the . floor on the machine, is set a number of inches behind the plough and in alignment with it. Following this, a spreader plate is arranged to fill the ploughed earth back into the furrow, while at the extreme end there is a heavy roller that completes the work. Thus com munication wires are laid and cover ed in a single operation by merely driving the truck along at the rate of two or three miles an...

Publication Title: Pakenham Gazette And Berwick Shire News
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Vic, Australia
NAR NAR GOON CLEARING SALE. Thursday, Dec. 12. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 4 January 1918

AR NTAKR GOON CLE.ARING SALE. Thursday, Dec. 12. Aduamson, Strettle & Co., Pty., Ltd., report hol.ling a successful clearing sale on account of :Messrs Schultz Bros. on the above date. Mil'ers to £15 17 6d, springers to £15 10s, Ibck. ward cows to £tE 10s, horses to £12 L;s, sows and litters to £5 5s and £5 15s,. brood sows to £5 2s Gd, separator at £16 15s, and farming implements and sundries at satisSlctory prices.

Publication Title: Pakenham Gazette And Berwick Shire News
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Vic, Australia
SOME REMARKABLE RECORDS MARRYING ELEVEN THOUSAND COUPLES. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 4 January 1918

SOME REMARKABLE RECORDS MARRYING ELEVEN THOUSAND COUPLES. There was a man walking about London,who lives, when at home, in Vancouver. Business has brought him to London before, not once only, but fifty one times. Reckoning the dis tance at 5,000 miles only, a mileage much 'nder the actual, this gives over 500,000 miles travelled in these journeys alone. Recently a commodore of the Cun ard Line retired who had been forty nine years at sea and thirty-three in the company's service, during which he had commanded nineteen Cunard ers, ending with the Campania. He estimated that he had travelled nearly two million miles by sea, and he has crossed the Atlantic no fewer than 550 times ! Among minor records may be plac ed the man who appeared recently be fore a tribunal and disclosed the fact that he slew about 10,000 rabbits dur ing the winter months for the mark et. Then there is a champion pig-killer He ought to have dwelt in the con genial environment of Chicago where pigs are killed, cu...

Publication Title: Pakenham Gazette And Berwick Shire News
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Vic, Australia
PRODUCE MARKET REPORT. Melbourne, 27th December. 1917. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 4 January 1918

PRODUCE MARKET REPORT. Melbourne, 27th December. 1917. The *Gippsland and Northern Co operative, Selling and Insurance .Co. Ltd. report:-Butter-Separators is to Ls ld, dairies lid to ls. Cheese--New mediums selling. at 9d, and loaf at 91d per lb. Eggs-Quotations are : Ordin aries 9d to 9J.1, privates lid, specials Ild to Is, ducks 10d to lid.. Bacon -Mediums Is to 1I Old, heavy and fat sides lower, middles is 3d, jackets 11,1d. shoulders 10d. Hama---Loose is 3d, to is 3fd, Lagged s 4d. Grain Depart ment.-Oats-Prime milling 2s 5id to 2s 6d, feed 2s 4d to 2s 5d. Barley Prime English 4s Gd to 4s 9d, medium 3s to 4s, cape 3s to 3s 3d, feed down to 2s 6d. PrInme at red 4s GId. Cihaf -Prime £3 17s 6d, good£3 12s 6d to £3 15s. Potatoes - Ballarat Redsoil Carmans £2 to £3, Snowflakes 15s to £1. Medium-and inferior udsaleable. New Pinkeyes £5 5s to £5 10s. Onions -Globe a:e selling from £8 10s to £9.

Publication Title: Pakenham Gazette And Berwick Shire News
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Vic, Australia
"THE WEAKER SEX," FORSOOTH: [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 4 January 1918

"THE WEAKER SEX," FORSOOTH: Miss Helen Buck Is the chrmnmon girl athlete of MAount Holyoke Co.;leg. at South Hadley, Massachusetts (says an American writer). At a recent sports meeting this wonderful girl co vered 100 yards in 10 2-5th seconds. Tlared 2Oft. Ifn. In the broad Jump, and 5ft. Sin. in the high Jump, besides raking part In an exhibition baseball game the same afternoon. Miss Buck is 5ft 71n. In height, weighs ulst. 11i., and has just turned 20. lter re:mark able ability is due to ratinnal open air training, extending practicallyv oer ter entire life. "My athletic tr;!inint eg~an as far back as I can remember.' she explained. "It was conduc:o.% along the line recently r'comer.-"'. I L" a prominent college presidcnt--:*,r -" is, up to my fifteenth year my n:vsial educatlon consisted in the o:i-?.'-d. , life of the natural fun-loving boy." One can scarcely credit these performnan ces-especially that of 10 2-5th seconds for the hundred yards.

Publication Title: Pakenham Gazette And Berwick Shire News
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Vic, Australia
Advertising [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 4 January 1918

S!,rv.1lD OrF'FIC ' STDIZY. :"', C~ncrnl 3anPkinag Susiness '""" .'C.l"" r-, - ,-y n.s.e -. .r? darn t3l dtslra ao x?r-lt pl! -, d.ire .t cr:-etfa C? ae'" a'.' "':1 "'f u ..r L. on of eTr d,-or .t (8" ?1tor -a..."n 7s r ol :4u R a ".r. ,SavIngs Ban{ Dcpa-,rtment ?". General to; ekeeper and Faker. $+ -- - - - - - - - .-- - -- - - a1 C:, a3ll0r . n, " . :AIN RO iD, PAKE.NHAM OLD. Standard Goods. Quality Always Tells, Prices Right. Flo ;r. Chaff, ran., Pollard, Wheat. Oats, Potatoes and all kinds 'o! Produce Crockery and G!assware of every Descrip. ion. Ladies'. M.n's, Youths' and Children's Boots. Only one Quality - The very Best. Butter and Eggs botuht. - Highest prices, any quan:ity. Delivery Carts - Township and D:strict daily. A'i ordtrs prompt:y attended to. The Place to get a Square Deal. Main Street, Pakenh am. VcAFEE BRO., General Storekeepers, HAVE ON SALE Groceries. Drapery, Boots and Shoes, Crockery, Glassware, Ironmongery. Froduce of all Wirds Bought and gold. EGGS and BUT...

Publication Title: Pakenham Gazette And Berwick Shire News
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Vic, Australia
Advertising [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 4 January 1918

Business .Notices. PA NflAIA COFFEE PALACE . Opposite Railway Station. (UNDER NSW MANAGEMENT.) Proprietress. Commercial Room. Gcod Stabling. Excellent Accommodation for Boarders. Good. Table. Tariff Moderate Acetylene Gas. - Daily Pape rs. Mrs .E. ' -'abbett (Next Coffee Palace), -For DRAPERY AND MILLIlNERY. :o: Sharge Assorftment Ummer dross goods. Blouses Neckwear Children's Dresses Fancy Goods Stationery Haberdashery Manchester Mercery. ANDERSON BROS., * ARTERS AND CONTRACTORS, GIPPSLAND ROAD, NEAR RECREATION RESERVE. -000 Ploughing Cone Anywhere, Lowest Pice Daywork or per Acre, New Ground Broken-Up.. -0oco -. : Wer :" " Ve are ,Expert Orchard Cu!tivatots - Our e:ork in this Direction most Carefully Done. .. . JUST IN 5'. ETI RE The Gra?est Remedy for A doan or t?wo s gencrally ?f?fc . KEP A BOTTLE IN THE HOUSE SOLD my all c Msus an STOR-S ~~-izio · -a Special .,Notices Agents for the "Gazette." -0- Copies of the " Gazette" may be obtained weekly from the following News Agencies...

Publication Title: Pakenham Gazette And Berwick Shire News
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Vic, Australia
Kooweerup Caledonian Society. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 4 January 1918

Kooweerup Caledonian So .ciety. A Scottish concert wa:' held at the Mechanics' Institute, Kooweerup, on New Year's night. There was a very large attendance and the chair was occupied by Mr Christie (Chief). " The hall was tastefully decorated and the supper tables for the darnic were beau tifully laid A fine progrannme was given, every item being greatly ;:p preciated. The programme wLas as follows :- Pipe march, Mr .T Senter: National Anthemn ; song, "Scots IWha f:ll,' Mri Edward Leahy; dance, Highland Fling, Miss 3lina Stark; song, "The March of the Cameron Men," IMr Os v-ahl! .ippc:: ,,u:,ical s' e:tch. "W.ith a Violin," Mr Id. F. Ritter; son;g. " Ionnie Scotland," Miss Bessie 3[...r tin ; humorous song, ' I'm in Lovey' Mr Fredl Champion. A short inter val followed, after which the items: were con tinuud as follows :-Pip, s~ lection, Mr J. S:Miter ; song, " Death of Nelson." Air O. lippon 'l:ance. rrish Jig arnd IIRel " Miss lmina Stark; musical character sketch ' The lus!oker." ...

Publication Title: Pakenham Gazette And Berwick Shire News
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Vic, Australia
No Title [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 4 January 1918

The Rev. E. L: Watson. a brother of Mrs - .T ':, of Pakenham, has been inducted to the charge of the Auburn Baptist Church. He has just returned from England where he was acting as one of the chaplains in connection with the Australian forces. The committee of the Pakenham and District Fruit and Horticultural Society have fixed the date of this year's show for the 23rd of March, and have ar ranged the prize schedule. This will be circulated shortly. Some weeks ago Mr Geo. Paternoster received word that his son-Pte. Artie Paternoster, who has been at the front for a lengthy period-had been wounded and was. in hspital. A few days ago Mr Paternoster received a letter from his son inl which he stated that he had had one of his fingers amputated, and that he was making a good recovery. The infant son of Mr and Mrs David son, of Pakenham, met with an acci dent at the local railway station on Christmas Day. Mr and Mrs Davidson were at the station and left the child in a go-cart on the plat...

Publication Title: Pakenham Gazette And Berwick Shire News
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Vic, Australia
Why She Married Him. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 4 January 1918

Why She Married Him. The burglar's wife was in the wit ness-box, and the prosecuting counsel was conducting a vigorous cross-ex amination. "Madam, you are the wile of this man?" "Yes." "You knew he was a burglar when you married him?" "Yes." "How did you come to contract a matrimonial alliance with such a man?" "-ell," said the witness sarcastic ally, "I was getting old and had to choose between a lawyer and a bur glar." The cross-examination ended there. When making coffee sprinkle a lit tle salt on it before pouring on the boiling water. The .avor will be won derfully improved.

Publication Title: Pakenham Gazette And Berwick Shire News
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Vic, Australia
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