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"One for the General." [Newspaper Article] — Kerang New Times — 1 May 1914
"One for the General." A few years ago, at a Colonial sta tion, a very pompous general was mak ing his annual inspection of a famous Irish regiment; now, although he bore a great reputation as a martinet, lie had seen no active service, and was one of those who judged a soldier's worth by his conduct sheet. There was serving in the regiment one Patrick O'Doherty, who had been through three arduous campaigns, and who was the proud possessor of five war medals, including one for "dis tinguished conduct on the field." Un fortunately for Patrick the piping times of peace had reigned for six years, and, owing to his weakness for strong drink and the allurements of the pretty girls in the garrison town, he was constantly in trouble, and only Sthat morning had been deprived of his last good conduct badge, on the usual charge of "drunk and out of bounds." As the general passed down the ranks he was attracted by the magni ficent physique of the gallant but in cor'igible Irilminll, whose left...
RACES AT ALEXANDRA PARK. [Newspaper Article] — Kerang New Times — 1 May 1914
EXANDRL' PARK. RACES AT AL Chenoweth; Vice-presi det T. Heller andT. pre?~-espn Bfer r F. C. Addi dey3TreaeurerirsF Mackrell, gaorphy18seardý' ,blessrs I eo 3 lU ilrS, J. Small and Dr Clerk f Course, Ar M. H. )TFhiCerk of Scalede g r A. Gar ltall inrknt ir F. t. Whitelaew cola'~Z 4\etsn Mr diner; Ir E A K. le g Starter, Mr T. STimekeeper, Mr ItT. M. 9.p0haflel Tiheraee ore gdonWedlnsddle Cloth Ster di m r icarddellfRll; haandicap per, iMr T bytie rc e meeting in aid f the b eldil fund of the Town in connecltion with the gapll ' Institute took place daeeyases e The races formed oe oa eer of entertainments of th a to be held to assist in paig oa the heavy liability in 000e the committee in build cinb commodious Town Hall ebb a been found to be so ecesehrJ to accommbdate the in iwere eculation. The attend nealOws R ot o0 large as might Lape been desired, but consider n htu a sll r of race meetings hg the been held this season hutg h o late on in the year, id boing y be looked upon as b...
FLASHES BY WI[?] "NEW TIMES" SPE[?] SERVICE PER REUTERS AG[?] OVERSEAS & AT [?] CABLES. THE ULSTER QUEST[?] OPPOSITION MOTION [?] ENQUIRY REJECTE [Newspaper Article] — Kerang New Times — 1 May 1914
FLASHES By NEW T~ SER Y ý'; PER REurp OVERSE S j CABLES THE ULST ( G; OPPOSITIOt ENQETBY The motion position far* _ - Gt Ulster ita. in the House ofu . Sir Ed'warc that he tool t· lity for the gu cently tcok place `; he said, sres ! r' however, wo 9;j to federal sys-e_ d land as part o for the Uni Home Rule w-. be his ear ;s 4 might be such 9 Ulster wou ld offer to ercluc Home Rule Bii 311 own accou.t the Goven_-e, t The mo ioc ta. to 264. Many Lik Mr Churchil? _ terpreted to of Ulster uM, tr e dom was broo ; system. A majori:y o f LE~led ers also err:e5 = They epected ar e of drastic measrsn instead of fre peace. Further fihrn = at Colorado n con the mining ,---te.e ers attacked tE ai were killed. Sixty-seven niei pectedly rescue- iron Virginia colie after i was abandoned. 1) - still entombed in the Six vessels are msau result of a stom on La 'or. Near Toronto one stea dered and 20r permu p
CONVICTED BY A THERMOMETER [Newspaper Article] — Kerang New Times — 1 May 1914
CONVICTED BY A THERMOMETER In connection with the death of Dr. Whitelaw, of Kirkintilloch, the "Glas gow Medical Journal" tells an inter eating story of his early career. Be ing called up one night, he was walk ing along with the messenger, when he was set unon and knocked down in a lonely part of the road. His poc kets were rifled, and he was left ly ing on the road severely injured. One of the articles stolen was a clinical thermometer with which he had that evening taken the temperature of a patient. He remembered the tempera ture registered. also that he had not shaken down the mercury before put ting the thermometer back in his poc Let, and lie communicated these facts to the police. Some time afterwards a thermometer registering the identi cal temperature was discovered in a pawnshop in Glasgow, and by this means the police were enabled to track the doctor's assailants and te arrest them.
Their Triumphs. [Newspaper Article] — Kerang New Times — 1 May 1914
Their Triumphs, 'Twas in the commercial room at an inn, and, as usual, the "gentlemen of the road" were boasting one against the other. Presently they got- round to the subject of singing. "Ah now," said one, "talking of singing reminds me of my early tri urnphs on the concert stage. I had a voice then, and could always move an audience. I mind the, time when I sang 'Rocked in the Cradle of the Deep' in so realistic a manner that several of my audience were attacked with sea-sickness." - "Bah!" said Boaster No. 2. "that's nothing. Why, I once sang "'The Last Post' with such fervor that several of my absent-minded friends, seated in front, started licking their programmes and then rushed out to catch it." -. After which silence reigned.
KERANG POST OFFICE. [Newspaper Article] — Kerang New Times — 1 May 1914
KERANG POST OFFICE. The following are the times ofclos iug and arrival of mails for the under kentioned places : MAIN. -LINE. MAILs CLOSE DAILY For P.m. pi Melbourne .. 1.30 -- Travelling P.O. 1 30 10 30 Bendigo - .. 1 30 10.30 Mitiamo. . 1.30 - Mologa .. 130 - Pyramid Hill 1.30 1030 Mincha ... ---- 10.30 Macorna ... 130 10 30-. Tragowel ... 1 30 10.30 M'Phail's ... 1.30 - MAILS ARRIVE AT POST OFFICE, rom a,m p.m. Melbourne 6 3,20 Travelling PO. 6 ' 3.:0 Bendigo 6 3 20 Mitia'no - 330 Mologs 320: Pyramid Hill;. 6 - 3.20 Mincha - 3:20 Macorna . 6 3.20 Tragowel . 6 3.20 M'Phail's - - 3.20
Checkmated. [Newspaper Article] — Kerang New Times — 1 May 1914
Checkmated. As most people know, when travel ling by train in America, the passen ger at the depot of departure hands ,over his luggage to the officials, and on payment of a fee receives-a metal check, which. he returns in exchange for.his trunks on arrival at his des tination. The system has its advan tages, but also its drawbacks prob ably, the fatal one of loss of the checks, for the baggage master will only hand over the luggage on receipt of the vouchers. A leading light of English Comic Opera, Miss C.P., was going from New York to Philadelphia to join a com pany. Like a prudent young lady, she packed away her dollar bills in her swenbill corsets, but her baggage checks she had left in her pocket. Pre sently she fell asleep and did not ful ly awake till, in a "semi-dozy" state., she fancied she felt a slight pull at her dress. Opening her eyes she found that a very gentlemanly looking I man was sitting next to her. She put her hand in her pocket. The checks were gone. At the mo...
ONLY JOKING. [Newspaper Article] — Kerang New Times — 1 May 1914
ONLY JOKING. The following incident occurred re cently on the down mail train between Lahore and Amballa. There were five European passengers in a first-class reserved carriage. The guard of - the train was an Eurasian of pronouncedly dark complexion, but a smart and in telligent man at his work for all that. One of the first class passengers, who was a bounder, thought he would take a rise out of the guard, so, calling him to the carriage, said: "I say, guard, I've got a hat here, a real silk bow ler, complete in case which I recently purchased from an outfitter's of Bom bay. It cost me 30 rupees, and the only fault about it is that it is a trifle too small for me. Judging by the size of your head, it will probably fit you. Would you mind accepting it?" The guard, gratified at the prospect of such a present, readily expressed acceptance. The passenger, holding the hat over the panel of the carriage, said, "Here you are, guard; here's the hat, case and all, but just as the guard put...
A GOOD VIOLIN STORY. [Newspaper Article] — Kerang New Times — 1 May 1914
A GOOD VIOLIN STORY. A young man, poorly clothed, pre sented himself before a dealer in curiosities near the Palais Royal. "Sir," said he, showing a violin thai he carried, "I am a musical artist; this is the season'of balls and parties, 1 have just had a longillness which has exhausted my purse, my only blaci coat is in pawn; I shall be much oblig ed if you will lend me ten francs to redeem it. I will leave as security one of the violins you see, for I have two; it is an excellent instrument. shall return for it as soon as, thanks to my coat, I shall have earned enough money for the purpose." The young man had such an Ilonest bearing that the dealer lent him ten francs, and kept the violin, which he hung up in the shop. The next day a gentleman, well dressed, w-earing at his button hole the riband of the Legion of Honor, was choosing from the dealer's stock of goods some shell work. Seeing tile violin, he took it up, examining it nar rowly. "What is the price of that instru ment?" ...
It Reminds 'Em. [Newspaper Article] — Kerang New Times — 1 May 1914
It Reminds 'Em. A great man once said to a friend: "I think I'll write my recollections." "Very good," said the friend, "but let me caution you not to recollect anything about. celebrities that are living." "Why, what's the danger, anyway?" "The danger," replied the other, "is that is soon as you begin to recollect things about living celebrities they will begin to recollect things about you."
Insufferable. [Newspaper Article] — Kerang New Times — 1 May 1914
Insufferable. "So you broke your engagement with him?" "Yes." "What for?" "He's a conceited thing. I simply couldn't stand him." "I never heard him brag. What makes you think him conceited?" "All the time we were engaged he never once told me that he was un worthy of my love."
WARTS ON TEATS. [Newspaper Article] — Kerang New Times — 1 May 1914
WARTS ON TEATS. Many people fail to get rid of warts because they think it can only be done with great difficulty, or by teariing the wart bodily away, but this is not the case, When cows are milked twice a day it does 1ot seem to afford much opportunity to get rid of warts. To use any substance of a poisonous nature for the wart is dangerous in many ways. When the teats are chapped only, some kind of soothing ointment should be applied, and for this pur pose carbolised vaseline, and other preparations may be procured from the chemist. This will heal the teat up in a short time, and allow the milk ing to be carried on without any dis comfiture to the cow. In the case of warts, when small they can generally be got rid of by touching them with caustic soda. An other simple remedy, and one which in many cases has.been fouhd to be successful; rub the wart with vincgar, then while it is still wet dust it with dry carbonate of soda. If this is done after each milking, the warts will gradu...
A Harmless Ghost. [Newspaper Article] — Kerang New Times — 1 May 1914
A Harmless Ghost. A stone-cutter, in the days when men wore knee-breeches and wigs, one evening wished to add a few letters to an epitaph on a gravestone recently set up. He obtained permission, and went with his tools and lantern to complete the task. The- churchyard was cool and gloomy, and very soon he lighted an extra- candle to give more light. Suddenly, as he stooped over the work, he heard a curious rustling hiss-"Hush!" He lifted his head and looked round but saw nothing. He fell to work again; but no sooner- was his head bowed over the stone -than the faint, mysterious "hush!" was heard again. He could stand it no longer, but got up and dfled for his life, and was not consoled until he was in bed and fast asleep. The next mornipg be. was sitting with his wife at breakfast, when she said suddenly, "Peter, what is the matter with your wig? It is all burnt on one side." He gave a cry of joy, to his wife's surprise. The mystery was explain ed-the strange "hush" was nothing more...
STRANGE COINCIDENCES. Scientific and Literary Parallels. [Newspaper Article] — Kerang New Times — 1 May 1914
STRANGE' COINCIDENCES. Scientific and Literary Parallels. In the lives of most of us coinnci dence has played a part. Probably nine out of every ten people can re call events and dates which, co-incid ing with one another, are a source of wonderment. There are some coinci dences, however, which are of such a character as to call for more than casual comment. In the November issue of the "Strand Magazine," for instance, there is a photograph illustrating a phen omenon only visible in the tropics that of sunshine at noon when no sha dow is thrown by objects exposed to the sun's rays, the explanation being 1 that the ship upon which the photo graph was taken was at the moment in the exact nadir of the sun's zenith. The penomenon was observed and re corded by Mr. W. B. Gibbs in latitude 15 deg. South, in February of last year, and it is a singular coincidence that precisely the same- phenomenon was witnessed in 1881 or 1882 by. Cap tain W. M. Gibbs, of Cardiff, at about the same time of...
If You See [Newspaper Article] — Kerang New Times — 1 May 1914
If You See Father wearing a purple necktie with pink dots and yellow stripes (on the tie, not on father), you may wager your hat that father doesn't' want to hurt mother's feelings. Your neighbor put all the windows up and volumes of smoke pour out, it is a sign he had the nerve to smoke one of his holiday cigars in the house.
AUSTRALIAN DAIRYING. [Newspaper Article] — Kerang New Times — 1 May 1914
AUSTRALIAN DAIRYING. Within the past ten years the dairy cows of Australia have increased from one million to above two millions: The butter produced in a single year reach ed about 200,000,000 lbs. The annual export is valued at between £3,000,000 and £4,000,000. No rural industry in Australia is more progressive and none pays larger returns to the farmers. The mainstay of dairying is the export market, and easily the largest con sumers of Australian butter abroad ;re the people of the United Kingdom. It might be thought that the -expense of carrying butter from Australia to London would be a serious handicap upon butter-making in the Common wealth. As a matter of fact, however, the Australian dairy farmer, in point of -cost, is as close to London as-the dairy farmers of Ireland or Scotland. The actual contract price of shipping butter from either Melbourne or Syd ney to London is _d. per lb.