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The Murdercidal Revolver. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 30 July 1887
: The Murde'rsidal Revolver. `No kind of inveq?on his advanced with such velocity and kept so well astride-of the times as the gun. From the. time our fore fathers shot each -other with the barrel hooped cannon and big-mouthed blunder: buss, humanu ingenuity has been spent in efforts of extermination. When men began to realise the barrenness of language and their inability to do justice to their fre quent" emotions, they felt the necessity of a more forcible argument..- Let us look back and watch the process by which the old-fashioned instrument evolved itself into the self-cock ing.seven-shooter of to-day. A blunderbuss was made by fillinga trombonea-jiiston with powder and ball, and'finggering tlie keys. ` A' company, of ;;ancient; shaip-shooters must have borne resemblance, to a modern brass band.. When men became desiroiius f see ing what they shot at; the straight=barrelled gun'was the result, and a shot-gun in the' days of our grandfathers is highly suggestive of the, double-b...
For the Ladies. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 30 July 1887
S"Flower-bonnets" are once again appear ing, though probably will not be very much worn until the season advances a little more. Artificial flowers are, we are glad to say, once more, replacing birds, and -field-flowers are the mbst frequently chosen bulrushes are also employed as.trimming for bonnets. Some of the latest bonnets are made of stripes of ribbons with fancy edgings ; they are 'more remarkable than pretty. Colored oats and barley are used by milliners for both hats and bonnets, but some many a most unnatural tinge, and completely spoil the intended effect. For colored straw bonnets a square of colored lace is sometimes used, with the four corners pointing upwards to make the front ornament. Two squares are also used, but then some of the points are drawn :backwards. The Directoire Rieboux is made in dark-blue straw, with a bouquet of bluets tied with a knot of ribbon of the same color. The Chapeau Bonne Femine resembles in shape a round dish. Gold, in paillettes and tors...
Where the Association Met. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 30 July 1887
S:Where othe:Assoeiation Met. . SHe. had_ been 'out night after night for several; weeks, claiming, to be a member of the Business Men's Association, and that his presence at the meetings was a positive neces' sity. The c.ther mnrning Mrs.Burker cornered him at the breakfast table with-- .. . "See here, Richard, one of the servants saw you in the Royal Hotel last night."' "Yes ; that's where the associati6n meets.'" "W,?at I A Business' Men's Associatiodn mentL in a hotel l' ' " Certainly." " But. you were drinkingbeer aid p!aying cards.": "C~rifiily I was. You don't seem to know rthe :object of a Business Men's Association I Did. you suppose we went :there to sit down and look at the ceiling?"
A Plausible Rogue. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 30 July 1887
A .Plausible-Rogue. .A v.ery bard-up looking man entered ?a grocer's shop the other -day, and said to -the pro'rietor . "I. have come to give myse~lf up.: My namne's Damon." ".No one wants;you that I'm aware' of,'?' replied the.grocer. ' . "But my partner, Pythias, stole asmall bag of sugar here the other'day, and I've come as a hostage until you' can catch him;sn Excuse me if- I'slice off a bit :of this cheese and take a few biscuits.'" , "'But I haven't niissedany sugar." " Perhaps not, blnt Pythias t&ok itf, iall the same. - I saw him an hour` ago;, 'andtI I.told him I. should :wait here until. he .surren-. dered himself: Beg pardon, but I'll,take a herring and go with 'my biscuits" and cheese." "What did you say your name was ?": "Damon, 'sir, -and: there's: nothing,.mean about me 1 When I pass my word nothing on earth will make me break it. Is this bottled beer ? Ah there; but you'll ex cuse me if I take a glass." : *" Look here, you old rogue, I want you to get 'out of...
Scientific Notes [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 30 July 1887
The Medical Review qiotes Dr. Mackenzie fas being of the opinion of catarhs air& eigely :duie:do the dust, aiid says-thit it is not un reasbonble:tos.believe that the, tre~iendous clouids of unsterilised eaith:'whichi are diiven into- tl~e faces of "city' people during the season hanye something to do with the excess of coughs and colds and the high mofthlifjy rate during.this period, which, in some years, is'exceeded only inithe hb'o months' of sumFi mer. merDr.. ulpian states-that salicylate of lithia. is more efficacious than salicylate of soda in cases: of acute= and progressive' subacdute articularrheumatism. It also has some effect inz chronic cases when a certain number of the joints are still deformed; swollen .and painful. Salicylate of: lithia :may be given 'dissolved in water, in powder, or in un leavened bread, duri'g4 or after meals, in doses of fifty centigrams." The physiological effects'6f the, drug are :headache, giddiness, and deafness. : ; ... : . -. Type....
A Useless Luxury. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 30 July 1887
A Useless Luxury. Excited customer (to optician)-'.' Look here, I say! This is a swindl' ! This glass eye you sold me is no good !"', - Optician-" I can assure you, sir, that it is the best manufacture, and--" Customer--"That may be, but I can't see ,vith it." Op: cichw--" Surely you did not expect to, Customer-" Of course I did. :I've got a ialie toith and:: "'can chew with it, so why bchulzi'tI", see with a false&eye ? Give me back usny money 1"
A Race for Life. I.—THE MESSAGE. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 30 July 1887
A ,Race for 'Life. I.-THE MESSAGE. . "My dearfellow, I amdelighted to see you," exclaimed my friend M'Causland, as he met me at the dooi of his house. I had:gone on a visit to Holmesdale a little town in the north of;.England... M'danslaud was engineer to the water company thee, ahnd had invited me to go down for a week. - After thie usuil-t~iertvillfor dressing wesat down to an excellent dinner. Not unnaturally the conversation turned upon the weather. "I .am sorry this rain continues," said M'Causland; "it spoils my water supply. Peopleibully:meas· ifI- could help' it:."-- "'Are your reservoirs near the town?" I asked. ~'No," he' replied, " away in the hills. We ca, go overto-morrow if you like.. ,I'm due The 'excursion was arranged. We agreed to start at eleven o'clock next -morning, and we started, punctually.. We pursiued our way up the hill, and crossing the brow, reached a small inn. Here we found a country gig awaiting us. , Into this-we clam bered, and proceeded along a woo...
A Manly Dude. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 30 July 1887
A Manly. Dude. .We oservel(the. ither morning). -a 1rinter's boy who,.had. trundled an over loaded hand-cart bout 6o a side lane into Main street over the :pavement and had essayed to get it up from the gutter into the 'road. The cart was laden with un bound books, evidently on their way to the bookbinders. It was a very big cart and a very small boy, and when the- little fellow attempted to get his load up the incline into the road, Jie was quite unable to do it. Here- he had struggled, it seemed, until he had become quite discouraged, and. seeing a little crowd gathering to look at his vain efforts to move his loaded vehicle, the boy burst into tears. ' Just at this juncture there came up a dude of the most extravagant type; an exquisite fellow, with 'spotless 'light fawn-colored overcoat, pearl-grey :kids, nicely bagging trousers with the crease down the sides; pointed shoes, with gaiters over them; and carried level in one- hand a'=big cane. It seemed to take this exquisite spec...
Grim Joking. "A COLLEGE JOKE TO CURE THE DUMPS." [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 30 July 1887
Grim Joking.. ' A COLLEGE JOKE. TO CURE THE DUMPS." It would appear that some people are so fond of joking that no surrounding gravity of circumstance-ia'sfficient~fo take the laugh 4out of: them;'. Grim old Death now.would. hiardly be 'onsidered"a promising subj3ct'cto crack a joke'with,.yet many ai excellent jest has been levelledl at him, his skeletonform: and unerring dart notwithstanding. "If we cannot conquer death, let us at least have'a-" game with him," w uld appear to argue those grim jokers who inscribe in monumental stone and sepulchral brass such epitaphs as the curious reader will find in Pettigrew's col. lection of epitaphs, and?variouseother~ worki devoted to this grave kind;:.f literature. Let us select a few at random :-' : ON AN ORGAN-BLOWER. "Under this stone lies Meredith Morgan, Who blew the bellows of our church organ; Tobacco he hated, to smoke ihost unwilling, Yet never so pleased as wheh 'pipes he wis fill No refection on him for rude speech could be cast, ...
Mr. and Mrs. Bowser. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 30 July 1887
Mr. and Mrs. Bowser. BY MRS8. BOWSER. "Well, I'm going to have a garden this. spring,", announced Mr. Bowser as he entered the house the other day. " You-you can't mean it l" " Mrs. Bowser, when I say I'm going to have a garden I don't want to be understood as meaning that I'm going to have a brick yard." "But you remember last year ?" "Certainly I remember last -year. What of it? I. set out to make a garden, and you and the dog and the neighbor's hens and a hail-storm and the snails beat me out of it." " Well, of course, you will do as you think best, but I'm sorry to see the yard all torn up for nothing." "For nothing I That's just like you I No matter what 'enterprise'I have 'on hand you always try to 'discourage me. - You are a nice help-meet, you are I I might as well fold my hands and sit down and wait for the Benevolent Asylum. I shall begin' on the garden, to-morrow." A year ago he came. rushing into .the house one spring day, with some seeds which some one had given him, an...
THE SOLEMN HALF-HOUR. THE CORROBOREE. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 30 July 1887
THE SOLEMN 4HALF-HOUR. - BY SILAS SNELL. THE CORROBOREE. Faded now and out of date is the national sward dance of the sable child of nature who once held dominion over this sunny country, and owned all the landed- estate, including some of the finest potato soil on the globe, but who has since bartered his holding to the grasping white-fellow for value received in the shape of rum, pants, chewing-tobacco, foreign disease, and otherbraids'ofenlighten ment. The few degenerate natives spared to us know but little of the weird customs of their nation. Fostered from their earliest youth in the haunts of the European, they repu diate the fare of their fathers, renouncing scorched 'possum and yams for bread and butter and tea. Yerra! they are indeed miserable creatures, and cannot corroboree in finer style than a new-chum Chinaman with a game leg. Gone are their fathers; the dusky sons of the soil, whose imperious natures would not brook the innovations of the stranger, they never succumbe...
Mr THOMAS DICKSON'S NARRATIVE. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 30 July 1887
Mr THOMIAS DICKSOS' S. NARRATIVE. Mr Thomas D icks, i :'sire inef iit .of the Qnieeshliffi[i re?T'-i wwho wais fiun ijust as le was turuii in',er the nights work, gave a graphic ant pnj t intelligent sketch of the experience. ohis crew on the hiumaine and ardu'ous i task which they so gallantly accomplis;d he .z.. the face pf great difficulties. "I had rionly got into bed when the e was a tap at- imy floor, and Ilheardt a voice crying," Tom get up ; there,s:,a ship ashore on Point Lonsdale., Ijump ee, out of .bed and dressing hastily, ran diwan to the, pier, liearing sa Prfi. -the tbolling of the, alarm bell. At thle pei I meth-iny fellows running quickly to the spot, and in a few minites .we; had at least doiible the crew that we wanted to man the lifeboat, whichl alaways swings on the da?vits at .the:pier. Our boat is man ned tle saine as the Humane Society that is-to sy -there is. a " superintendent a cox-awain aboatman and as;many men as the'boit, pulls o-oars in ourcase 10., We...
THE V.A. AND THE WRECK. TO THE EDITOR. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 30 July 1887
THE V.A. AND ,.THE. WRECK. TO THE .EDITOR. Sir,--Being .a resident of the Cliff for over six months, and a suhnsriber to your valuable paper `'during that. time, perhaps you will not consider it pre sumption on my part' .addressing. the public througli 'the medium of the. Sentinel, and as I have ever noticed, that you give free ventilation to any thing affecting the public welfare, and also you are never afraid to notice any thing that deserves censure or investi gation, I approach you with ,the assur ance that my: poor:letter' will dccupyi a corner in your papier',and not a corner in the waste paper basket. :I happened to be at Point Lonsdale shorty after: the, Barqne "Gange', vwasdriven ashore dur ing last Saturdlyv's 'gale: I hsaw the daring rescue of the crew by the Queens-' cliff lifeboat, the men of which. deserve the greatest praise feor their gallant con duct. Another thinh I alo:- nioticed, was the absence of the Artillerynien at the scene of the wreck during that night,. w...
Mr. and Mrs. Bowser. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 6 August 1887
Mr. and Mrs. Bowser. BY MrS. BOWSER. I would not have the world get the im pression that Mr. Bowser is not a kind hearted and loving husband. True, there are times when he is blunt-spoken, and incon sistent,. but there are other times when he is an angel. For inistance, he ca-me home the other day with a .very tender smile?'on 'his face, kissed me ,in-an unexpected and vigor ous manner, tickled the baby in the ribs, and then exclaimed "Guess what it is, MrP. Bowser I" "What ?" " What's in this parcel ?" I. couldn't guess, and after teasing me for a few minutes he put his arm around me and chuckled " It' is for my popsy-wopsy-wifey, and I had 'em send to England for it I Give me a kiss right on the chin I" It was a lace collar, and the price mark of five pounds had been carefully left on it. I tried hard to keep a smiling face and notI t him see my disappointment, and I succeeded pretty well. He had gone to some establish ment where they had got at him. I could have bought the same c...