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Deserved It. [Newspaper Article] — Gippslander and Mirboo Times — 26 November 1914
Deserved It. "After many years Hicks met Rix, a friend of his schoolboy days. Almost half a century had passed since they had 'gone to school together, and now each was a grey-haired father of a family. Hicks was .entertaining Rix, and was showing him his household goods. He was a facetious soul who took an altogether uncalled-for delight in his own somewhat feeble jokes and- witti cisms. "That," said he, pointing to a painting, "Is a portrait of my wife's first husband.'' "Why," said Rix, "you never told me that your wife had been married before!" He examined the picture with some interest. "Well, he looks a real dough-headed sort of idiot, any way." "That," said Hicks, "is a portrait of, myself at the age of twenty-five, -■ sir!"
The Wrath to Come. [Newspaper Article] — Gippslander and Mirboo Times — 26 November 1914
The Wrath to Come. Tommy Tonkins was keeii on cricket and particularly ambitious to make his mark as ticket-keeper. Any hint, however small, was ■welcomed if it helped oil his advance in this de partment of the game. When he be gan tp have trouble with his hands, and somebody suggested soaking them in salt water to harden the skin, he quickly followed the advice. Alas! a few days later Tommy had a misfortune. A square-leg hit at the bottom of the garden sent the ball crashing through a neighbor's sitting room window. It was the third Tommy had broken since the season began. Mrs. Tonkins nearly wept in anger when Tommy broke the news. "Yer father'll skin yer when 'e comes 'ome to-night!" she said. Tommy went outside trembling to reflect. His thoughts travelled to the punitive strap hanging in the kitchen, and he eyed his hands ruefully. "Ah!" he muttered with a sigh. "I made a mistake. I ought to 'a' sat in that salt and water!"
Food For Reflection. [Newspaper Article] — Gippslander and Mirboo Times — 26 November 1914
Fo°d For Reflection. "We are united in this movement," said a physiologist, apropos of a fight against the drug habit. "Yes, a single thought possesses us, and in that re spect we're like Mr. and Mrs. Smith. At 3 a.m. of a bitter cold morning Mrs. Smith in her thin nightgown was pacing the floor with her colic tormented babe in her arms. The ■babe's squawks of pain were terrible, yet they were easily drowned by the ear-splitting roars of young Smith, junior, who tossed about his crib with a toothache. Mr. Smith, shivering in his pyjamas, ibent over the wash stand, trying to prepare a cotton fill ing for his son and a mustard plaster for his habe, when his wife's voice, scarcely audible above the uproar, reached him. " 'John,' she said, 'if, seven years ago, I could have looked forward and beheld this scene, do you know what I'd have done?' •' 'Yes, love,' Smith answered. 'You'd have done just what I wish I'd done.'"
Shut Up! [Newspaper Article] — Gippslander and Mirboo Times — 26 November 1914
Shut Up! Mr. Howard-Parnell 'has been recall ing some stories of his more famous brother, Charles Stewart Partiell. He tells an extraordinary story of their mother. One day when she was nursing the future Irish leader some visitors called. For some reason or other she did not want to be seen with the baiby, and, having no cradle handy in which to lay him, she pop ped him into a drawer and, in her flurry, absent-mindedly, pushed it in and hurried to the- drawing-room. When the visitors had gone the child was missed. Mrs. Parnell knew she had laid it down somewhere, but for some time she was utterly unable to remember where. After a frantic search, muffled howls from the drawer located the missing infant, and he was released none the .worse for the adventure.
The One Other Clue. [Newspaper Article] — Gippslander and Mirboo Times — 3 December 1914
The One Other Clue. A cabby once scored off Sir Arthur Conan Doyle rather neatly in Paris, where translations of his books are very widely read. He arrived in Paris from the Ri viera, and having hailed a cab at the station drove to his hotel. When he paid the fare he was rather surprised when the cabby said: "Thank you, Monsieur Conan Doyle." "How did you know my name?" Sir Arthur asked. "Quite simply," the cabby replied. "I read in the newspapers that you were coming from Nice. At the sta tion I examined you and saw that you were English. Your hair seemed to me to have been cut by a Southern barber, and on the heel of your boot were traces of Marseilles mud." Sir Arthur stared at him in aston isar.ient • "Are tho?e the only signs by which you recognised me?" he asked. "01:. no!" was the reply. "There was one other. On your trunk your name is painted in full!"
FIXING PRICE OF WHEAT [Newspaper Article] — Gippslander and Mirboo Times — 3 December 1914
FIXING PRICE OF WHEAT By D.B.W. "That there is nothing new under the sun" is an axiom accepted by the world for the last 4000 years, and therefore one is not surprised to re member that when our Australian Go vernments rashly entered on the work of fixing the price of one class of food by law, in the alleged interests of consumers, but to the great detri ment of producers, these sapient legis lators were only doing what long ex perience had shown to be an act of folly. The Victorian and other Govern ments might have been forgiven had they set about this task with a full consciousness of its wide-spreading character, but, like a child that inter feres with the delicate machinery of a watch, they were quite satisfied with themselves when they found that they had by stirring up the works caused the bands to go round at a faster rate. That in a little while the machine thus ignorantly inter fered with should suddenly come to a full stop with a whirr and a whiz is of no moment to the chi...
Hubby's Mistake. [Newspaper Article] — Gippslander and Mirboo Times — 3 December 1914
Hubby's Mistake. Mrs. Smith had asked Mr. Smith more than fifty times (so he said) when he -was going to varnish her kitchen oilcloth. Finally, in desper ation, one Saturday afternoon he don ned Ms overalls and went at it. Mon day morning it had not dried a bit. "Something is wrong with the var nish, John. Where did you put the can?" "I put it back on the cellar shelf," he answered absently. She came back into the room pres ently with the can and. stood in front of him ominously quiet, he thought, so he looked up. She held the can towards him. "Can't you read, John? You've var nished the kitchen oilcloth with gold en syrup!"
The Fighting Editor Had To Intervene. [Newspaper Article] — Gippslander and Mirboo Times — 3 December 1914
The Fighting Editor Had To Intervene. It was Friday afternoon, and the editorial staff were hard at work. Suddenly the pen of the junior sub editor ceased its inky scamper. "I say," lie queried, "is it more cor rect to refer to a man who goes up in a balloon as an aeronaut or a balloon ist?" "Balloonist," growled the special commissioner. "Call him a balloonatic," smirked the storyette editor, with a timid glance at the fighting editor. "Aeronaut's the word," chimed in the aristocrat who compiles pars, "and I can prove it." "You can't!" chorused the staff, in one voice. "I can. You see, it's this way. When a man goes up in a balloon he goes up into the air." "Well?" "And, as a matter of fact, hp doesn't know whether he'll remain in' the air-or-not, does he?" When the curtain fell the fighting editor was furtively reaching for his new club.
A LIGHTHOUSE DRAMA. [Newspaper Article] — Gippslander and Mirboo Times — 3 December 1914
A LIGHTHOUSE DRAMA. The lighthouse of Kerdonia stands on the rocky and lonely' cape of Belle Ile-en-Mer, off the Brittany coast of France, two miles from any human habitation. On April 18, 1912, the lightkeeper, Matelot, was suddenly taken ill, and died during the night. During his last few hours, one of the two children came to his wife and said, "Mother, the lantern is not burning." The dying man had been struck down 'before he could replace a little screw which had slipped out of place, and was too far gone to ex plain how simple was the remedy. The woman knew that without the regular intermittent flash the light house would be unrecognisable by the mariners, for she was of a fisher folk family, like all the inhabitants of the coast. She told the children' to stay with father while she saw to the lantern; but unaible to set it right, came down to watch his dying mo ments. But through all the long ten hours of darkness the lantern flashed inter mittently over the sea. Fourteen yea...
AT WHAT AGE SHOULD A GIRL MARRY? [Newspaper Article] — Gippslander and Mirboo Times — 3 December 1914
AT WHAT AGE SHOULD A GIRL MARRY? The question as to whether it is best for a woman to marry early, or after she has had some experience of life, is one on which no definite con clusion can toe arrived at, for so much depends on circumstances, tempera ment and health, to say nothing of many minor contingencies. Formerly girls married earlier than now—before they were twenty years of age, often when just out of the schoolroom. But that was before the ■gospel of woman's emancipation be came an article of faith to which every woman thinks it necessary to subscribe. In those days girls looked on marriage as the only aim and ob ject of life. The restrictions of home were so severe that marriage was welcomed as a deliverance, and as the beginning of an existence in which a woman found play for her in dividuality, and in which, though with recognised limitations, she found some scope for the exercise of her tastes and ambitions. Not that women were stronger then than now—physically they wer...
War Pictures. [Newspaper Article] — Gippslander and Mirboo Times — 3 December 1914
War Pictures. To tha public of Mirboo North, William H. Moore has ruuch pleasure in presenting before you one of the finest picture programmes ever seen in your town, and to comply with the national feeling he has seoured the very latest War Pictures, including Fighting ship3 of all Nations. The French Fleet, The British Navy, and a great Battle Picture, "A Daughter of the Confederacy," featuring Gene. Gauntier as the Girl Spy. War in its gruesome reality. Depicted by Awe inspiring Battle Scenes, ■alsaflome very fine Comics, Melbourne Cap, 1914, Dramas, etc. One "of?tW.most. promin ent of Melbourne Illustrated Patriotic Singers is undoubtedly Mr Arthur Peterson, "who is now touring with i William H.-Moore's Company and will make his fir3t appearance in this town on Wednesday night next. The Com pany should have shown on Thursday night last, but foun^ on erecting their machine in the afternoon that it had gone wrong. Id was impossible to mend the break here, and tHe manager was force...
CHAPTER X. "For Little Mollie's Sake." [Newspaper Article] — Gippslander and Mirboo Times — 3 December 1914
CHAPTER X. "For Little Mollie's Sake." t 9n *he following Monday week Lady Owen had a bad cold, and was ""abIef l° So out, so Sydney drove aicme to the large house in one of the most expensive and fashionable squares in London that was Dick's home. ; In reply to her question if Mrs. Ken i yon was at home, the man-servant ob I viously hesitated. * am not quite sure, madam." • .'ydney paused as she was passing I into the 'big square hall, whose fur ! nishing gave the assurance that the j owner of the house had taste as well ! as money Judging by that alone, the ! !n?S eyident,J" not been given into the hands of the furniture man | whos.® duty it is to exercise his in genuity m seeing how many yards of hideous and costly brocade he can a ,siven "umber of draper les, and in discovering how stiff and similar he can make the folds there Perhaps I have made a mis understood I was expected." . you wil1 kindly come into the drawing-room, madam, I will go and n6 Httio the man drew aside w3th ...
The State Elections. [Newspaper Article] — Gippslander and Mirboo Times — 3 December 1914
The State Elections. The State elections passed off on | Thursday last with very little interest. In fact, many in this district did not know there were any elections taking place .The main factor for the lack of interest here -\\ as that there was no contest for the Gippsland West seat, Mr Mackey having received a walk over. __ The Gippslnnd South seat was also uncontested, the Labor candidate. Mr O'Donnell, failing to nominate on account of ill health. There were no surprises in the elec tions, the parties going back p-actically unaltered. Labor regained the Port Fairy seat, and held the two seats they had won at by elections. The Peacock Government lias a strong working majority, and if it gets the solid sup port of the Country Party, should pass a lot of good legislation. Mr E. Brown, our old townsman, although he met with defeat at Brtialln, put up a good fi^ht, and polled far better than Mr Carlisle's last opponent The voting this election was—Carlislie, 2,784; Brown, 1,406. M...
MASTER OF ALL Published by Arrangement with Cassell's Colonial Press, Melbourne. All Rights Reserved. CHAPTER IX. Mr. and Mrs. Kenyon. [Newspaper Article] — Gippslander and Mirboo Times — 3 December 1914
Master of all BY ALMAZ STOUT Author of "Copper Under the Gold," etc., etc. Published by Arrangement with Cassell's Colonial Press, Melbourne. All Rights Reserved. CHAPTER IX. Mr. and Mrs. Kenyon. . "Maggie, this is good of you!" cried Sydney, holding out her hands in glad ■welcome to her old friend. "And —why, you don't look a day older or a hit different." "Flatterer!" answered Maggie, kiss ing her -warmly. "But you"—drawing hack and looking at Sydney in close, astonished scrutiny—"I should hardly have known you." "Am I to take that as a compliment or not?" "You know well enough. Don't fish so ibarefacedly." "Oh, Maggie dear, it is good to hear you again!"—with a little loving squeeze of her hands. "You always called a spade a shovel, and I see you haven't altered a hit. Now tell me all the news. Auntie will be down in a moment, and I know several people are coming." "Bother!" said Maggie, with frank heartiness. "I expected that—that's "why I came early. Ernest sent his .love, and ...