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Title: Queensland Figaro And Punch Delete search filter
Elephind.com contains 18,162 items from Queensland Figaro And Punch, samples of which are listed below. All items from this newspaper title are freely available and can be searched from the search box above. You may also search the entire collection of 2,949 newspaper titles in Elephind.com.
18,162 results
As False as Fair. [Newspaper Article] — Queensland Figaro and Punch — 14 November 1885

As False as Fair, A inixed-tip yarn comes from, a township way out beyond W in ton, and affords fresh corroboration of the theory that social morality is a question of isothermal lines. The township reiferred to, though boasting an official existence anterior to that of . Muttaburra, has not yet emerged from the double barrelled pub. style of existence. In one of the shanties of the town, there was a sprightly and vivacious young Hebe, who was recently married "on tick" to a susceptible youth, whose occupation he himself described to the P.M. in the simple words—" I drives bullocks and makes fences." Hard times, however, separated the youthful pair, bulloeky being at work some 10 miles away, while Hebe re mained behind, the queen of the township. The serpent, at this stage, enters Paradise. He is an old lover of Hebe, and has only recently returned out "West from Brisbane, to which town he came, in consequence of an accident to his -back; Shortly before leaving the West for Brisbane...

Publication Title: Queensland Figaro And Punch
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Qld, Australia
They were Wellington Boots. [Newspaper Article] — Queensland Figaro and Punch — 14 November 1885

They were Wellington Boots. Truly, the Australian, aboriginal can put on jam, on occasion. The other morning, a sprightly aborigi nal, who may be often seen about Brisbane with a brass plate suspended from his neck, and whose vocation when in town seems to be that of begging and getting drunk, came jauntily along Edward street, towards that corner of Queen and Edward streets where the tc city shoeblack" polishes the boots of the out-early multitude., The aboriginal would have had a brick in his hat, only he had no hat on. So he carried his brick in his head, having had .a cabon fellow drunk somewhere and somehow. He was barefooted as well - jas bare-headed, and wore a ragged pair of trousers that only reached to his knees. He watched the shoeblack polish ofE a customer and then, with the utmost deliberation, and the gravity of dignified intoxication, he walked up and placed his left foot on the boot-cleaning pedestal. " Budgery you clean my boots," he said, producing a sixpence. The...

Publication Title: Queensland Figaro And Punch
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Qld, Australia
An Irresponsible Government. [Newspaper Article] — Queensland Figaro and Punch — 14 November 1885

An Irresponsible Government. Queensland has a Constitution and is popularly supposed to enjoy what is termed* ff Responsible Government." Now, I should like to know to whom is the present Government, responsible ? The stereotyped answer to be given would be—The Govt, is responsible to Parliament and the Parlia ment is responsible to the people. I ask anyone to analyse the personnel of the present Parliament, and say whether it is possible that any persons or things could possibly be res ponsible to a majority of the House as constituted. Could any Ministers be responsible to an Assembly of " Squash " Mf Masters ? Would any Government care for the adverse criticism of a quorum of Billy Brookeses ? Has the " impious . and unholy " Bob Aland the stuff within him to compel Ministers to dread his censure ? Can the master be responsible to the servant ? Who would dream that there could be any responsibility on the part of this Govt, to its wire-pulling henchman, Bob Bulcock ? Dare John Fr...

Publication Title: Queensland Figaro And Punch
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Qld, Australia
Advertising [Newspaper Article] — Queensland Figaro and Punch — 14 November 1885

THE SINGER MANUFACTURING COMPAIY 34 UNION" SQUARE, NEW YORK. EASY TERMS. New Addbebs 11 & 12 HATES' BUILDINGS, EL1ZABETH-ST; Near Edward-street ; , B R I S B A N E. Principal Office: 245 Pitt-street, Sydney

Publication Title: Queensland Figaro And Punch
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Qld, Australia
Buckland's Qualifications. [Newspaper Article] — Queensland Figaro and Punch — 14 November 1885

Buckland's ■ nalifications. Morehead must be worse than a hornet to some hon. Member's, when he puts his ears back. This is how he tackled when the Estimates were being dis cussed, Buckland's appointment to the Polynesian Royal Commission (vide Hansard):— " Mr. Morehead said that before dealing with the " Lucinda " they might, perhaps, better discuss the Royal Commission on . the New Guinea Islanders. He wbuld ask the Premier whether tenders were called for by him from members of the House for the position of chairman of that commission, and if so whether the lowest tender was accepted ? The Premier: No. " Mr. Morehead said he would then like to know why Mr. Buekland was selected. Had that hon. member any particular knowledge in regard to the islanders, or was he likely to bring up a report to suit the Ministry, or waB he hard up and required feeding with Government fees ? He would really like to know why Mr. Buekland was selected from amongst all the supporters of the Government fo...

Publication Title: Queensland Figaro And Punch
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Qld, Australia
ROUNDABOUT. [Newspaper Article] — Queensland Figaro and Punch — 14 November 1885

ROU ; ^Public «—Please to note my time of Publishing is 9 a.m. every Friday. Health! Board is too slow," • . 6a*d Jones toneighbor Brown; I find foul stinks where'er I go Around the blessed town. " Eachodour poisoning theair, In .flavor seems to gain age, Tne.Cjity Council doesn't care, A rap about the drainage." " Oh, drat the drainage!" Brown replied, " Don'tget insucli a scatter! Yes, drat the drainage far and wide! It really doesn't matter." " "Not matter," queried Jones, " and why ? There's nothing greater gains Municipalities, say;!, Than good efficient drains." " Pooh f'^w$ !" said Brown, "you still are for Iroin what I'd here recall; The Council arid the Health Board are Not in the thing at all. ^ for they *ve abandoned (Sir, to you!) L Their saniti repositions, And" relegated these nrito The turfy metalliciaas. " These fellows will not be restrained; - They know their work too proper ; Why, Jones, on Monday last, they drained. Me out of ev'iy copper." (Brown meant to say I ...

Publication Title: Queensland Figaro And Punch
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Qld, Australia
In Cornwall and Across the Sea. [Newspaper Article] — Queensland Figaro and Punch — 14 November 1885

Iu Cornwall and Across the Sea. Bt Douglas B. w. Siaden. I hare received from Messrs. Geo. Robertson & Co., Mr. Sladen's latest t>ook. It is a great/advance in point of merit upon any he has yefc published. Hitherto his work has been exceedingly uneven. Many poems from his pen, of a high Segfcee of ex cellence, have failed to maketheir w&yinto favor simply from the fact that every ten or iw^aty lines the reader suddenly finds himself piurijgea into the bathos of the.most ordinary prose, from which it is too much of an effort to drag oneself up again to the lever to which the writer so easily reascends. The book beforie &e, however, is very little open to this objection, and shows either that the writer's powers are maturing rapidly, or that he is taking more pains with his work. ;> : Mr. Sladen has suffered Beverly at the hands of Australian Critics, but I venture to say that if he had come before the Australian piiblic with this as his first book, he w...

Publication Title: Queensland Figaro And Punch
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Qld, Australia
Slandering the Colony. [Newspaper Article] — Queensland Figaro and Punch — 14 November 1885

■; ——" .■», :—r-/: Slandering the Colony* In the London Times of June 18th, there is a letter from that journal's Brisbane correspondent, under date April 26th, pretending to report upon the Poly nesian Royal: Commission, the South Sea Labor Trade, and the Separation question. I will guar antee to say tbat no more blackguardly lies were ever circulated, and the writer has been stated to be W. Kinnaird Bose, one of the members of the very Boyal Commission he professes to criticise. , We Queenslanders know that that Boyal Commission's report was a fraud and a sham. We Queensl&nders know the men who composed that Boyal Commission. We Queenslanders know that one ^mraissiotier wa£ a Member of Parliament, utterly and totally ignorant of the subject with which he had to deal, and whose sole qualification, as stated by the Premier, was that: he would make a good juryman (!) ; that the second was a slanderer of the South Sea trade, and who was virtually on his th&t the third ...

Publication Title: Queensland Figaro And Punch
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Qld, Australia
Foote in the Confessional. [Newspaper Article] — Queensland Figaro and Punch — 14 November 1885

Foote in the Confessional* '' culpa> mea culpa, mea maxima culpa!" i Such was the cry of James Foote, Esq-, M.L.A. for | Bundariba, in the Queensland Hotise of Assembly on Friday last, Nov. 6th. It was the day .after Gun powder plot, but I gladly concede that Foote wasn't in that busted scheme. I& wasn't penitence for that which brought Foote into the confessional. It wasn't penitence at all. It was wrath. Foote had been baulked in bossing the Forest King Select Committee, and had stayed away from it. Then, on Friday last, Donaldson told the House that the Com mittee had been unanimous as to the report. Then Foote got up on his voluptuous-feet and snorted. His paunchy mien of greasy fat, Provides a standing treat, An' have ye seen the like o' that ?— A Foote upon two feet! Hischeefcs flap out and back again, Like flabby's own placard; A Foote upon two feet ? Why, then, This Foote must be a yard! But each foot's 18 inches long, The pair's a yard—110 morel One Foote on thre...

Publication Title: Queensland Figaro And Punch
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Qld, Australia
Droving. A Dry Time—A Barcoo Shower—A Yarn of the Expedition Range. (Continued.) [Newspaper Article] — Queensland Figaro and Punch — 14 November 1885

See " DROVING," on next page. Drovi*^. i. By p®tbit Bunkum. A Diy Time—A Bareoo Shower—A Yarn of the Expedition Range. ■■ ; {Continued.) j. e arover, m a drought time, has tom&ketftemost careful enquiries about the various routes, lie m^st know tbe exact distance to eaehcamp or waterhole, ana calculate the time and the manner in whicjr he shall travel any /partiCu larly long stage. Sometimes it is necessary to split the.mob, if the nu&bfer is 0 ver a thousand, and travel them in two lots a few stages apart, or even by separate^ routes. Sometimes it is necessary to travel by night as well'as. by . to cover some extra long stretch, without waiter or grass. . Hishorses become miserably poor,-and are little or no use to him. He iiow has to trudge, on root after his stock, weary and foot-sore. Horses, men, and cattlie are pitiable objects to look at as they toil along. : ' , The men get hoarse with shouting at the cattle, who "^ill not stir ia peg, ex cept f he men aje ju...

Publication Title: Queensland Figaro And Punch
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Qld, Australia
First-Fruits of Griffithism. [Newspaper Article] — Queensland Figaro and Punch — 14 November 1885

First-Fruits of Oriffiithism. An old Burnett man, and one whd has special facilities for knowing the condition and heeds of his district, writes ine thus .about Bundaberg " For the past few months, the place (Bundaberg) has resembled a sepulchre—no life,pxf speculation, no fun, and everything in a Bam-Sam-Gbriifithsort of condition. If ever this district had cause; to curse tH£ unhappy change of administration. it yis at the present moment.* We have gradually changed from one of thp moist thriving and most capitalist-sought communities in the coldny, to a position of living on ourselves and barren prospects.. Yet Ihe stupid headed Griffithites aire satisfied, and congratulate themselves. ^ pn^l^yiiig j^cap§d;Ebme mysterious xJaEflgpdaca'fne: evils of M'liwraitfciahism !5.: jQodl rather than the result of bald adminiBtrationi 3^n %i31u^v to become valuable settlers goaway disgusted, unable to obtain land on whichito camp, and debarred the right of spending their saVings in iimprdving...

Publication Title: Queensland Figaro And Punch
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Qld, Australia
The Baby's Last Game. [Newspaper Article] — Queensland Figaro and Punch — 14 November 1885

-»■—'—<—— The Baby's Last Game. - [A jnost shocking and unfortunately fatal accident occurred on Saturday ^morning, reBultmg in thedeath of the infant child of Mr. Napier, of this town. From such information as can be gathered, it appears, that Mrs. Napier had taken down a rifle from its place on the ^wall for the purpose of cleaning it, and at the suggestion of one of her children; and, of course, without the slightest idea-of its being loaded, she pointed it s at her little boy, aged about two years, pulled the trigger, and . shot him dead on the spot, — Extract from, Utter of theMackay V correspondent oftlve Brisbane " C6wrfer."2 The gudewife bustled through the home, ; Domestic duties found her> And, as she dusted shelf and tome, . Her little ones played round her. Bright, happy mites ! Nor fiend would hurt, Nor gnome their joy .would smother j See how they cling to matiuny's skirt, For, oh! they love their inother. And she ? Her wearied frame grows straight, Her d...

Publication Title: Queensland Figaro And Punch
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Qld, Australia
A Case of Lambing Down. [Newspaper Article] — Queensland Figaro and Punch — 14 November 1885

. — *• ; ~ A Case of Lambing Down. Two brothers, Jack and Bill,, both passed middle age, started in from outWinton way, intending to take a trip to Brisbane. They reached a small town on the Barcoo, and put up at what is supposed to be a respectable hotel, kept, moreover, byawoman. They depidfcd to stay in this Barcoo township for a Jew days^ in order to spell their horses; Now, Bill, if he takes about three nips of intoxicants, gets knocked but of time. Well, he had 'em and got ** knocked" accordingly. Next day he had 'em again, with;a similar result. On the day following, ^aek proposed to resume the journey tb Brisbane., as^a preliminary, he called for the: bill. William's liquor bill amounted to £16 odd! jack paid it and said nothing. • Jack then went to put the saddle on the horses, but found that the animals had not been brought up from the paddock. Upon making a i rumpus about this, Jack was informed by the groom that Mrs. '■? (the landlady) had ordered him not to bring up the...

Publication Title: Queensland Figaro And Punch
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Qld, Australia
Holiday Haphazards. NOVEMBER 9TH, 1885. [Newspaper Article] — Queensland Figaro and Punch — 14 November 1885

Holiday Haphazards. November 9th, 1885. The Prince of Wales ?—Corner of Edward and Charlotte Streets. I'm 44, I'm 44, And still feel good for forty more; I love to hear the public hails, When's sung, " God Bless the Prince of Wales!" Weather note—This morning was bright and clear. I was dull. The only point I was clear upon was that I was not clear upon anything. When I presented myself to Scraper, an old mate, and asked! him to lend me a fiver to put down on the races, he yelled—" Clear!" I did and that's how I got clear at last. Nothing like sudden shocks to shock you, is there ? The weather was warm, but I felt decidedly cool to Scraper after that. In dejection, I sauntered down to the Gardens. It was noon, Directly*I entered, the A Battery fired a royal salute in my honor. That cheered me up. It is consolatory to feel that, even in poverty and disguise, these true hearts recognise merit. I must levy a^contribution on the forces. Sold again! I levied. More kicks than ha'pence. No...

Publication Title: Queensland Figaro And Punch
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Qld, Australia
The Q.T.C. Races [Newspaper Article] — Queensland Figaro and Punch — 14 November 1885

The Q.T G. Races Came offatEaele Farm on Saturday^ and the even izkjg and the morning -were the first day, and atiinfernally dusty day, too. Every effort had been made by the committee of :th%jQ.T<.C. to ensure the Catering' of (the road to thecotxrse. Application'' was made to the Town Clerkj tbe^ity Engineer, the Foreman of Works, and to the Mayor himself, for thfe use of the city , carts/but the same stereotyped answer wasfieturned In feacft icsaBe, viz.:—that the jcouncil had not enough carts for their own UBe, and could not, therefore, lend any: for outside the boundary; an . excuse which reflects as little, credit on the I Council, which admits and. i$ content with an inadequate supply of watering power, aslit was annoying to the club, and i disagreeable in; its consequences to the sporting public.: . If the tloun cilhasn't enough carts fjor jfcs own use., why i doesn't ithe sensitive Bal>bidge procure themj if he hadn't enough meat for: his own stomaeh, He'd ver...

Publication Title: Queensland Figaro And Punch
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Qld, Australia
"FIGARO'S" AT HOME. "Oh! he hath drawn my picture in his letter!" —LOVE'S LABOR LOST. [Newspaper Article] — Queensland Figaro and Punch — 14 November 1885

f< FIGARO'S" AT HOME. "Oh! lie hath, drawn my picture in his letter!" —Lovb's Labor Lobt. Readers 'are invited to forward early in telligence of fashionable or social festivities) if possible, accompanied by fall descriptions of toilettes worn by ladies* Portraits of ladies, accompanied by names and addresses, will also be acceptable for reproduction* Those, not considered suitable will be im mediately returned* Strictest confidence* Address, Social Editress, "Figaro" Office* Charles Chicken went to Eagle Farm To see the Monday's races, He had Miss Flip upon his arm, A-showing off her paces. Now, Charles was spoons on Missie Flip, _ And (see how actions thicken!) Her maiden love Miss Flip recip rocated on Charles Chicken. And so they flirted, hand in hand., And. dined and. fondled gaily, Bet gloves within the new grand stand. As if they did it Daly! They wagers made on ev'ry race, , . This pair of turtle-doves; . ! You needn't ;make such wry grimace, *Twas only pairs of g...

Publication Title: Queensland Figaro And Punch
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Qld, Australia
PERSONALS "I hope I don't intrude." [Newspaper Article] — Queensland Figaro and Punch — 14 November 1885

"I hope I don't intrude" i Terms of Subscription.—£1 per annum, paid in ad vance ; single copies 6d. each. Forwarded, post free, to any |>art of the Colonies. My love, he was a sugar planter up at far Mackay, , ; But, now, by Sammy Griffith, he's been driven far away: ; He cannot get sufficient men to cut his sugar prop, j ■ And so he's cut himself off with a jump and steo and hop. For he's gone to West Australia, sugar planter there to be, And they will give him grants of land, as you shall quickly Bee; ' | i And now the toast that's most enjoyed, up North, by all the free, i I Is that far-famed new Northern toast of—D. S. G. ; They try to sweeten him up now, they try to make believe j ! That, for the ruin they have wrought/they all moBt sorely : grieve. , „ ; ' - I J And offer £50,000 for Central Sugar Miils, , , j But he's a fool who cannot see through Sam's humbugging ; frills. ■ So, he's gone to West Australia, sugar-planter there to be, ' And they will give him grants of fo...

Publication Title: Queensland Figaro And Punch
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Qld, Australia
Advertising [Newspaper Article] — Queensland Figaro and Punch — 21 November 1885

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 5. ON THE GROUND. ROCKY WATERHOLES. COMMENCING AT 2 O'CLOCK. 152 SPLENDID VILLA SITES. 162 SPLENDID VILLA SITES. 152 SPLENDID VILLA SITES, comprised in and forming part of the ROCKY WATERHOLES TOWNSHIP PROPER. JOHN CAMERON has been favored with instructions from George Leedirig, Esq., to sell by public auction, ON THE GROUND, ON SATURDAY, 5th SEPTEMBER, At Two O'Clock, LUNCHEON AT 1.35, THE UNSOLD BALANCE or THE ROCKY WATERHOLES TOWNSHIP PROPER, embraced in original Government Portion 109a, -which extends from the ROCKY WATERHOLES CREEK along, and having an immense Frontage to, THE IPSWICH ROAD* up to the main road leading to OXLEY AND SHERWOOD RAILWAY STATIONS. THE CROWN HOTEL, STORES, AND COTTAGES are erected upon part of the CELEBRATED TOWNSHIP now offered to the public, and although the allotments upon which the buildings, 'stand are not for sale, they give a value to theyocant lots, as they have already established a*:' BUSINESS VALUE . . to the township and ...

Publication Title: Queensland Figaro And Punch
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Qld, Australia
Advertising [Newspaper Article] — Queensland Figaro and Punch — 21 November 1885

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 28. SEFTO N EST AT E. UNSOLD BALANCE OF THE SE3FTON ESTATE. TOHN CAM32RON has received instructions to seltby public.auction, u • - ON THE GROUND, ON SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 28, AT 3 O'CLOCK, THE SEFTON ESTATE, CONSISTING OP ^ „ _ ■ 175 SPLENDip BUILDING SITES, on. that Grand Slope east of the New Sandgate Road. THIS ESTATE is well-known as . . .. i. a *_ i FRANZ'S PADDOCK, ana is situated between Mr. Widdop's house and grounds and the "Wagner Estate, and has frontages to the new Sandgate road and. the Government road on south side of the Wagner .Estate. . .THE ASPECT is north-easterly,and the whole of the allotments are open to the full benefit of the sea breeze, there being nothing of either equal height, or anyway approaching it, between the Sefton Estate and the Bay. THE VIEWS are really beautiful. From the more elevated parts, clear and distinct ▼lews of the Bay and Islands are obtained, while every lot looks over everything iu front, and gives glimpses of all tho...

Publication Title: Queensland Figaro And Punch
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Qld, Australia
Latin. [Newspaper Article] — Queensland Figaro and Punch — 21 November 1885

Latin. This is pure ile (puerile). It occurred at the Toowoomba Grammar School, and ought to be pasted up in golden letters in the municipal lobby of every township in Queensland. Master (to Boy):— "Translate this sentence— ' Filia curr it' " Bot (quickly) :—" The filly runs." On the next day, the master asked the same boy to translate " Dum tu dormiieas, ego be custodiebam." Bot (brightening up) :—" While I was sleeping, you were eating custards." :— ( Why is a confirmed criminal like a dishonest farmer ? Because he's a rogue in grain.

Publication Title: Queensland Figaro And Punch
Source: Trove [National Library of Australia]
Country/State of Publication: Qld, Australia
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