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THE MEDIUM. [Newspaper Article] — Korong Vale Lance and North West Advertiser — 6 June 1914
THIS MEDIUM. "That ninn is a phrenologist, Pat." "A what ?" asked Pat, pu-.zled. "'A phrenologist." "An" sure, what's that., sorr ?" "Wliy, a mail that can tell, hy feeling the humps on your heal, what &lt;ind of a ninn ycru are." , "Dumps on my hea.l, is it ?" ex ilaimcd Pat. "Bcirorrn, then, I think it would cive him more of r.n dca what kind of a womr.n me will is !"
MORAL REFLECTIONS. [Newspaper Article] — Korong Vale Lance and North West Advertiser — 6 June 1914
'MORAL RBFLECTI0N8. An obodient wlfo . commands her husband. Bo charitable and Indulgent, to' everyone but yourself.' Obstinacy la a parasite, living cith er on a strong will or on great stu pidity. Retire into thyself, and thou svllt blUBli to find how poor a Block Is there. A man has no more right to say un uncivil thing than to" act one—110 more right to say a rude thing to an other than to knock him down. Men are like trees; each one must put forth the leaf that is created In him. Education is only like good cul ture it changes the size but not the sort. To know the pains of power we must go to those who have It; to know its pleasures we must go to those who aro seoklng it. The pains of power are real, Its pleasures Imaginary. In the active and vigorous games and ' merriment of children there nre the moBt health giving conditions that can bo obtained, because they are the wise combination of exercise and mirth. "Almost" Js a dangerous word. It has tripped up many.a man who might...
DIAMOND MINES IN SOUTH AFRICA. [Newspaper Article] — Korong Vale Lance and North West Advertiser — 6 June 1914
DIAMOND MINES IN SOUTH AFRICA. The history of the diamond mines Is one ldng romance—catastrophes, Bkilful robberies, and the speedy real! sation of colossal fortunes, the an nual output of the mines averaging several millions of pounds sterling. Early in 1867 a traveller named O'Rel' ly rested a while at a farm in the Hope Town district. His host pre sently brought to his notice some nice looking stones obtained from the riv er. O'Reilly at once pounced upon the first stone, and took it to Dr. G. Atherstone, at Grahamstown, where it quickly realised £600. This lucky wayfarer hastened back to the spot, but his searches were unavailing. Two years after, a farmer- named Niekirk .acquired from a native for £400 of stock a large diamond, which sold in Hope Town for £10,000. This famous gem was christened "Star of South Africa," weighed 83 carats, and esti mated to be worth £25,000. The Bul rontein mine was discovered through diamonds being found in the walls of an old native farmhouse. T...
Throat Troubles. [Newspaper Article] — Korong Vale Lance and North West Advertiser — 6 June 1914
' Throat Troubles. Wlien doctors talk about the "naso pharyngeal system," they mean the entire mucous membrane that lines the nose and throat, all of which must 'be In a healthy condition If you wish to avoid the long list of ailments that begins with the common "cold" and ends with tuberculosis, and Includes tonsilitis, influenza, croup, diphtheria, and, last but not least, adenoids. In young children the passages of the nose and throat are very small and very sensitive, and they respond quickly to every change in the child's physical condition. When a disease germ attacks a sensitive mucous membrane, the membrane becomes inflamed and swollen. The immediate result is that the child cannot get breath enough to live on through the nasal passages, and begins to breathe through, the mouth. If'this happens only occasionally the' inflammation poon subsides and the mouth-breath ing stops. But If one cold succer another, as Is the case with many children In the winter months, the mu coub m...
A Surgeon's Revenge. [Newspaper Article] — Korong Vale Lance and North West Advertiser — 6 June 1914
s,'. ■ A 8urgeon's Revenge. Few thlngs-.vex a doctor.more than to be sent for in great haste at nil unreasonable hour, only to And upon arlv'al that little or nothing Is-the matter with the patient. An eminent English surgeon, was called to an "urgent case" of this sort, and he found the patient, who was of great wealth but small courage; hail received a slight wound from a fall. The Burgeon's • face did • not -betray liU irritation, but he gave his servant or ders to go home with ail possible haste/and return with a. certain .plas ter. The patient, turning very pale, said anxiously: "I .trust, sir, there 4s no groat and immediate danger?" "Indeed there is," answered the?sur :geori. "Why, if that fellow does ;not ■run like a: racehorse, there is no tell ing but that • your -wound may heal JrofOTe be gets back with the plaster."
After Many Days. [Newspaper Article] — Korong Vale Lance and North West Advertiser — 6 June 1914
• After Many Days. During" a frost of last year a lady waB" unfortunate enough to find a burst pipe inside the scullery. Stan-1-' ing on Bome steps she tried to atop the flow of water by binding a towel around the pipe and holding it till as sistance was obtained.' Fortunately a plumber was passing, and he quickly came to the rescue. "One-moment, madam, I'll fetch mv tools," he said. The poor man, however, slipped on the treacherous pavement and broke his leg, which stopped his work for many a week. A year later, more severe weather, and another burst pipe in the same scullery, and the same careful houso wife, to save a mess mounts, the steps to Btop the water -bb before. The same plumber is engaged to render assistance. :He.looked at the woman, and recollection dawned on him in t stupifying manner, "Oh," he cried, "I couldn't come; back before! I broke my. leg. iHavei you been holding all the time? Tmt bo : sorry,"
GIRLS, YOU'RE NOT POLITE. Another Outburst by the Cantankerous Crank. [Newspaper Article] — Korong Vale Lance and North West Advertiser — 6 June 1914
GIRL#, YOU'RE NOT POLITE. i Anothor Outburst by the Cantankeroua Crank. Girls, you are doubtless very clia rul ing In your low-necked./ blouses, short aklrtH, and delicious stockings, yet I would fain point out one or two-faults which most of you display—and when It comes to display, my cry Is: "Leas stocking and .more thoughtfulneBB." Girls, I don't consider your man ners are as good as those of your mothers. Mother may wear a petti coat, like they used to in the good old days, nnd grandma three llamiel petti coats, because grandma's petticoats, like misfortunes, never come singly, but both of them nre- polite. Of course, they may have had good be havior spanked into them, but, never theless, it is more than skin deep. It Ib my misfortune to travel a good deal In trains and 'buses. You, girls, flaunting your fatal beauty, haunt me in those dangerous vehicles, and with that Inborn chivalry which lurks In every male bosom, I render you oc casional small services. I open a car riage d...
Another Epigram. [Newspaper Article] — Korong Vale Lance and North West Advertiser — 6 June 1914
Another Epigram. Once at a dinner at which Dr. Emil Keicli was present the conversation turned on marriage. "That was a wise Baying of the old' Ur ek philosopher," said someone. " 'Whether you mnrry her or not you will regret it."" "Yes," answered Dr, Reich. "It re minds me of a certain old maid who once said something almost as good as that. 'Auntie,' said her little niece to her, 'what would -you do if you had your life to live over again?' "To which the lonely spinster quick ly replied: " 'Get married, my child, before I had sense enough to decide to be an old maid.'"
Too Realistic. [Newspaper Article] — Korong Vale Lance and North West Advertiser — 6 June 1914
Too Realistic. Willie Anally persuaded his aunt to play train with him. The chairs were arranged in line, and he issued or ders: "Now you be the. engineer and I'll, be the conductor. Lend me your watch and get up Into your cab." Then he hurried down the platform, time piece in hand. "Pull out, :there, you red-headed, pio-faoed jay!" he shout ed. "Why, Willie!" his aunt exclaimed in amazement. "That's right, chew the rag!" he re torted. "Pull out! We're Ave minutes late already." They have'had to forbid his playing down by the train terminus.
REASSURANCE. [Newspaper Article] — Korong Vale Lance and North West Advertiser — 6 June 1914
REASSURANCE. "Before you ask," she calmly spoke— "Dear, listen to this word; You're not the first man I have loved, Nor second—nay, nor third." "Am I the fourth or fifth," he asked In scorn; "or were there more?" • She murmured, "Don't be vexed, sweetheart, "For, as I said before, "This love is not my,first—but, hark!" He felt her gentle touch— "I promised wlli be my last; "Now—can you say as much?". "You are my darling girl," he cried, And bowed his manly head Upon her1 hand—"My love — my bride!" But—that was all he said!
MOMENTS OF INTEREST. [Newspaper Article] — Korong Vale Lance and North West Advertiser — 6 June 1914
MOMENTS OF INTEREST. Most doge got their full growth in one year. . . Sheep pastured on hillsides are nearsighted In one eye. - The tongue of a wild animal is ita doctor.* The owl can Bee farther'at night •than any other bird or'animai. It Bometimeslitakes a year for the; bite of a rat to heal up. Theiturtle.ilives 'tOibe-at least fifty years old. •• Sunflower; seeds will attract rats where toasted cheese will fail. In getting 'itB-food at night- a rab-i bit sometimes IravelB ten miles. .A bull, in a rage'will become quiet; at eofinds of a fiddle. The average boy of ten or twelve years travels twenty miles in doing> h!s playing! on Saturdays. A fox can dig faster than a boy. with a spade. . , It is.greater to fail brilliantly than to achieve a mediocre success. Re member, when you fail to win, that the.great thing is to have done your best. The charm of life is ita uncertainty. When you feel inclined to grumble at "ups .and downs," remember that, you would proba,bly likeai.dead, ...
UMBRELLA LANGUAGE. [Newspaper Article] — Korong Vale Lance and North West Advertiser — 6 June 1914
UMBRELLA LANGUAGE. To place an umbrella In a rack at a club or a friend's house is a sign'that it is about to change owners. To see two walking under one um brella, the drippings falling on the male shoulder, is a good sign of an engagement, while if the female shoul der catches the drippings we may safely conclude they are njarrled. An umbrella held in the manner &lt;• a golf-club in 'a main thoroughfare at 1 a.m. is a sign that the glass has risen, but a storm js brewing. An umbrella in "uncle's" window in dicates that someone has . had a "rainy" day.
Hopeful. [Newspaper Article] — Korong Vale Lance and North West Advertiser — 6 June 1914
Hopeful. A stranger ontered church in the middle of the sermon and seated him self in the back pew. After a while he began to fidget. Loaning over to the white-haired man at his side, he whispered: "How long has he been preaching?" "Thirty r forty years, I think," the old man answered. "I don't know ex actly." "I'll stay, then," decided the stran ger. "He must be nearly done."
WIT AND HUMOR. [Newspaper Article] — Korong Vale Lance and North West Advertiser — 6 June 1914
WIT AND „ HUMOR. Millions: Tlicy are really the most devoted lovors I ovor saw. Cynlcus: Yea; It seems a sliamo that tlioy nre going to get married and spoil It all. There was a young fellow trom Perth, Who was born on the day of bis birth; lie was married, thoy say, On h.'s wife's wedding-day, And he died on his last day on eurtli, Itlvers: Why did you say so posi tively thai a man can't do wrong by marrying a widow? Waters: Why, It's plain enough that If ii man marries a widow he doesn't marry a miss.