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He Drove On. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 9 November 1917
He Drove On. As a country physician was driv ing through a village he saw a man amusing a crowd with the antics of his trick dog. The doctor pulled up and said: "My dear man, how do you man age to train your dog like that? I can't teach mine a single trick." The man looked up with a simple, rustic look, and replied: "Well, you see, it's this way, sir; you have to know more'n the dog or you can't learn him nothin'."
A PENNY AN ACRE. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 9 November 1917
A PENNY AN ACRE. Land Agent (Chester) points out that, although the United States Government paid 25.000.0)0 dollars for the Danish West Indies, this only works out ht about one penny an acre-not a very extravagant price to pay for land. It might he appropri ate to mention in connection with Land Agent's interesting information that the United States paid between 7,000,000 and 8,000,000 dollars for Alaska,, which was thought a great deal too much at the. time (1367.) But it was a good investment, and will prove a better one as time goes Ion. In one year Alaska contributed £.20,000,000 to American trade. It is estimated that there are about 150,000,000,000 tons of coal- there waiting to be mined.
Why He Left. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 9 November 1917
Why He Left. A good story is told of an old miller, who a few years ago was the defendant In an action for debt. Dur ing the hearing of the case in the County Court, the plaintiff's counsel asked him if he ever knew a miller r get to heaven. "Well, yes," said he, "I knew one who got there, but they turned him out again." "WVhy, how was that?" asked the lawyer. "Because there wasn't a lawyer to plead his cause," was the cutting re ply.
WORLD-WIDE NOTES. WHAT LONDON EATS AND DRINKS [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 9 November 1917
WORLD-WIDE NOTES. -- 0-- HHAT LONDON EATS AND DRINKS Bow Bells has made the following amazing calculations of London's daily menu. We assume that they re fer to the "piping times of peace," and not to war conditions : ''Every day London consumes 7,000 tons of food. Her daily .bread scales nearly 3,750,000rt. She disposes of 4;,000,)00 Ibs of vegetables and fruit. -and more than 3,000,000 eggs, and 1.500.000tb of meat ; 200.000 cows supply her milk daily ; and 70,000be.of tea go into her teapot."
Ruins. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 9 November 1917
Ruins. The American heiress had Just coume back from her first trip to E?urope. At dinner her neighbor In lltired: "Did you see many pictur esclue old ruins during your trip?" "Yes." she replied. "And six of them proposed to me!" "~o\w, then. Rawbones," barked the sergeant to an awkward recruit. "Just pay a little more attention; you're not on the farm now, you know." "No, sir, I was just thinking as 'ow a non-com. was jest loike our dog." "Oh, indeed!" "Yaas; the more stripes you gives 'irm the more he yelps." Grass stains may be removed from washing materials by carefully rub bing the spots with a little fresh lard. Afterwards wash in the usual way. and you will find that the stains have entirely disappeared. Every baby is the sweetest baby in the world. You were once consider ed the sweetest thing in the world, although you may not look it now.
HERE'S YOUR CHANCE—DON'T MISS IT. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 9 November 1917
HERE'S YOUR CHANCE-DON'T MISS IT. "Please give me a shilling.'" If this plea came from a man, wo man or child who was very ill, utterly helpless and miserable, what Austra Ian would have the heart to Ignore it? Each ticket in the .liniature Picture Campaign, in aid of St Vincent's Hos pital, is a mute appeal from some sick man or woman, some poor helpless soul whose only hope is to find health and happiness in the wards of tile hospital. This miniature picture campaign was inaugurated for the express pur pose of raising £25,000, urgently needed by St. Vincent's; 500.000 mini atures--each a reproduction of a fam ous picture-are being offered to thle public for one shilling each. About six months ago Mr. John Wren an nounced that he would buy the win ning miniature for £50,000. He made the condition that all the 500,000 were sold, otherwise he would only give £1000 for his purchase. In addition, 49 other prizes will be given. These will be £120, £100, £50, £25 and 45 at £5 each, so th...
DRUMMER BOY'S EXPLOIT. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 9 November 1917
DRUMMER BOY'S EXPLOIT. The story of a drummer's exploit, during the fighting on the Western front, is told by a woundled Scottish soldier. "We went over the top shortly after dawn." he said, " and advanced under heavy fire to take up a position which 'we had had to ab andon on the previous day. When it was getting dark, two or three of our fellows stumbled into a shell-hole, and discovered a drummer from our battalion, who had been missing for a day and a night. He was badly wounded in the face, but was sitting calmly on the side of the hole, with a German officer's revolver on his knees. F'acing him were two enemy officers, one of whom was absolutely unhurt. The drummer in welcoming his comrades, explained that he had been waiting for them the last few hours, 'holding these blighters up,' " It transpired that in the first attack the drummer had been separated from his party, and having cornered the two German officers, had, after a struggle obtained possession of their revolvers, a...
NEW PLAGUE IN GERMANY. MUSKRATS MAY CREATE A FAMINE. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 9 November 1917
NEW PLAGUE IN GERMANY. MUSKRiATS MAY CREATE A FAMINE. SA very ferocious animal hitherto wholly unknown to Europe, has rec ently made its appearance in Bohem- I ia, and, muntiplying in numbers literally countless, has become a I plague comparable to that of rabbits i in Australia. The territory afflicted by it is rapidly extending, andt at the present time not only Aulstria. but all of central Eurdpe is threatened. This animal is a rodent. as big as a smnall cat. It devours the wheat and other cereal crops; it does im m-nse damage to railway and canal embankm,-nts, and already it has al most destroyed the important cray fish rearing and carp-breedin;g indus tries in the region over which it has spread. The creature-of aquatic habits and a builder of houses somewhat resem bling those of the heaver-is able to contend successfully against twenty times its weight of dog. If cornered. .it will tight a man. In Bohemia, it has hbecome a raider of poultry yards carrying ofi small chicks and ...
"KISSING THE QUAICH." [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 9 November 1917
"KISSING THE QUAICH." On anniversaries and special occa sions most Scottish regiments keep up ; curious mess custom called *kiss in. the quaich'. This latter is a shailo'- cup with two handles, which towairds thLe end of dinner, is handed, to each orficer in turn, full of liqueur whisky. Custom decrees that the ves sel must be drained at a gtlp, after which the holder twists it upside down from him, 'and kisses the bot tom to show that it is empty. In Welsh regiments, on St. David's Day, every subaltern who has joined since the last anniversary has to pass the leek" that evening at mess. That is to say, he eats one of these oot-too-nice-smelling vegetables raw, while the regimental drummers sound a fanfare, and his brother officers cheer him ironically. Some few regiments still keep up the custom of pJacing on the mess. table at dinner the "Regent's wine" ' as it is called, one bottle each of I port and sherry. This is .a legacy from George IV., who, when he was P.egent, decreed tha...
TALLEST MAN IN THE BRITISH ARMY. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 9 November 1917
TALLEST MIIAN IN THE BRITISH ARMY. A giant who holds the British height record for the last 120 years is a Datient in one of the London i hospitals, where he has been accom odated in a bed improvised from two ordinary bedsteads. His name isi Frederick Kempster, he is 8ft. 2in. in height, and is twenty-five years old, and he is suffering from giant's dis i case, or inaction of the nerve-centre which controls growth. His size in boots is about twenty. Kempster is a Canatsan, who was taken to the Colonies as a baby. He was quite a normal child, for the nerve responsible for the trouble did not cease work until. Kempster was twelve years old, when he began to shoot rapidly beynnd his brothers, and then beyond his father and mother, who are all of normal size. Speaknng to an interviewer recent ly, he said that three of,?iis brothers are serving with the (Canadi.n con tingent. In a voice which is discrib ed as being like "a sweet-toned 'cello played inr.to a megaphone," Kempster told how ...
EFFECT OF HUN TERROR. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 9 November 1917
EFFECT OF HUN TERROR. Of all the unforseen and tragie phenomena of the European war there. is one which, to the minds of sur gery and medicine, overshadows all others. Thousands, according to Dr. John B. Huber, go crazy in the trenches, asimply from the shock of the nervous system caused by the concussion of explosives. Other thousands are part. ly paralysed, lose their memories and other faculties through the same causes. In the eases of the insane and meg tally incapacitated injuries are dis covered in the spinal cord. the nerves and cortex of the brain-whee the higher intellectual centres are located. Our nervous machinery is the most fragile and labyrinthine in the body. and it is, when damaced, the most difficult to repair and restore. 'The brain and spinal cord are seperated from their bony protections only by three membranes--one of which is sc delicate that it makes one think of Venetain point lace-and the cerebro spinal fluid. What sounding hoards, what transmitters of vibr...
Advertising [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 9 November 1917
INURSES of Large Experience Recommend CLEME TS to their Patients. -- * NURSE CATHERINE KORTING ot 176 Davis Street. Brunswkck. Vic.. writes as follows (29/2/12): CLEMENTS TONIC LTD. " am writing about the amount of good CLEMLENTS TONIC has done my daugh ter. In January last year, she was operated upon for appendicitis. She was eight weeks in the hospital, and came home very weak and run down. I gave herseveral bottles of Clements Tonic. It soon strengthened her I nerves, she was as well as I could wish her before long. Fourteen years ago I first used this medicine as a nurse and have recommended it times out of number. I have seenpeople restoredto health and sltrengtb, and.bless the day they heard of it. It never failed to do good. CATHERINE KORTING." | i-er he withoust this mediacsne if ran SwnwithWak Neres..tat liageation. i i a sr Al:,etite or Constil;:tion, It Icutt tle h mlan ?-tem is otrder r-pidly. ? ALL CHEM~ISTS i STORE S SELL IT. ".. i t NAlt NAR GOON BUTCHERY. Drake and T...
"The Bells." [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 9 November 1917
"The Belts." It was a proud moment for Far Imer Giles when he went to see his sailor son on board his ship at Ports mouth. Just as he caught hold of the two ropes which hung over the side to assist the tars to the deck he was surprised to hear the clangor of bells-the eight bells of seamen's time. As he stepped on deck he met the officer of the watch. He saluted him and said timidly: "I beg your pardon, sir, but I've come to see my son Jack. But 'pon my word, sir, I didn't mean to ring so loud." To prevent green vegetables from boiling over, drop a piece of dripping the size of a walnut into the centre of them Just as they commence to boil. Gilt frames may be cleaned by sponging them with oil of turpentine or spirits of wine, only wetting the sponge enough to remove the dirt. Leave the frames to dry, but do not wipe them. Tact and cheeriness will break down opposition when argument would only stiffen it. Great men do not play stage tricks with the doctrines of life and death; only l...
Better Than Nowt. [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 9 November 1917
Better Than Nowt. A certain pitman's wife went to her grocer's and gave in her usual order to be sent down to her house. On the groceries being delivered, she found that instead of her usual quan tity of four pounds of sugar there were only two pounds. On finding out the mistake, she hurried back to the shop. "Aa say. Mr. Broon," she said, "Aa see ye've made a mistyek 1' ma order; ye've only sent two p'und o' sugar Instead o' fower.' "I'm sorry," said the grocer, sym pathetically, "'but have you not seen in the papers that all the people have to use economy with sugar?" "Anyway," she said, "Aa suppose Aa'I hev te use it an' sall, so ye can give me two p'und on'L It'll mebbe be better than nowt at aal, so long as it'll sweeten his tea!"
WHY BE BALD? [Newspaper Article] — Pakenham Gazette and Berwick Shire News — 9 November 1917
WHY BE BALD? If you wear a cap or a soft hat. you may feel tolerably certain that you will not get bald. This is what a hair specialist concludes, after years of study. And he gives very good reasons. Observe the red band on a man's forehead when he has walked in a gale of wind, wearing a hard hat. This is due to the pressure on the blood-vessels; and, of course, the compression of the vessels takes away the proper nourishment from the hair, and so causes baldness. Then, examine a bald man's head. You will find that all the baldness is within the hat; he has a very good circlet of hair below the rim of the hat, where the vessels are not press ed upon. Then, note that women sel doam grow bald-except over the fore head, from the use of curling-tongs partly because they do not wear hard hats, andl partly because their thick hair and thick scalp protect them from the hats they do wear. And, if you want further proof, here it is: Farmers and others who wear soft hats are much less troubl...