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A Sensation in Scareville. [Newspaper Article] — Grenville Standard — 25 September 1915
A Sensation in Scareville. Such a pretty wedding as it was! At least, everybody said so, and as "everybody" in this instance con stituted nearly the whole of the fe male population of Scareville,: with a fair showing of the male, -the ques tion can be safely accepted as an un disputed fact. That Edith Lysle looked beautiful in her rich bridal dress, and Howard Morton noble ana dignified, as all bridegrooms should, was also a con clusion that Scarevi.le came t;o that day over their teacups. In fact, it was generally conceded that every thing passed off "lovely," that it was an ideal wedding, a perfect day, and, above all, that it was one of the few marriages that are made in heaven. What more could be asked for? and, with a sigh of perfect satisfaction, Scareville settled down again to the routine duties of life, complacently feeling that it had contributed not a. little to the success of the wedding. Just one month from that day ex actly, Scareville received a shock which I am incli...
Poor Pillwell! [Newspaper Article] — Grenville Standard — 25 September 1915
Poor Piilwell! Some people have a terrifying knack of saying the wrong thing at the most inconvenient time. Fred was one of them. The other night at a dinner-party the talk turned to the horrors of war, having been ingeniously turned that -way by Lieutenant Pillwell. "Yes," he said, "war is a terrible business!" This kind of thing always seems impressive, and a fluffy lady looked at the lieutenant in admira tion. Then he trotted out another old saw. "No painter would dare to paint a picture of a battlefield as it really is!" he said, trying to look like o-ne •who could horrify the world if he only chose to speak. This was where Fred woke up. "Er—tell me," he said. "Did you ever kill anyone yourself during the war?" Later, his hostess, &lt;with a distant air, informed Fred that Lieutenant Pillwell had served in the Medical Corps! T
The Main Issue. [Newspaper Article] — Grenville Standard — 25 September 1915
The Main Issue. There had been a terrific struggle out in the street between two canines of the mongrel type. In the fray both animals had suffered pierced skins and damaged jaws, but at its conclu sion one of them—the loser of the fight—felt the necessity to vent its un Quenched spleen upon the easiest thing within reach. This chanced to be a small boy who was joyously trund ling his hoop along the road, bliss fully unconscious of the approach of danger. Suddenly the vanquished dog made itself felt, and his teeth caused a painful incision in Willie Sausly's calf. Later, there came the hour of reckoning and, perhaps, of retribu tion. The mother of the boy and the owner of the dog encountered each other. Ensued this: — Mrs. Sausly: "Are you aware, Mrs. Skinbone, that your dog bit my little Willie to-day?" Mrs. Skinbone: "What, your little Willie, who has only just got over scarlet fever? Oh, if anything should happen to Fido I'd never forgive you."
Cycling & Motoring. [Newspaper Article] — Grenville Standard — 25 September 1915
Cycling & Motoring. The effect of the war on imports of motor cycles and motor cars into the Commonwealth for the half-year ending June 30th, may be judged from the fact that the imports into N.S.W. alone fell away £174,134, made up as follows :— Chassis, £142.636 ; motor ear bodies, £21,671; motorcycles, £9,827. Wheu the full returns for the Commonwealth are available, it will be found that there has been a very large decrease during the first half of 1912 in this class of goods. In these days of Australian goods for Australians, it will interest motorists in this country to learn that the Aus tralian Dunlop Rubber Co. now employs over 1400 hands, the greater number en gaged in the manufacture of Dunlop motor tyres, which are now so much in evidence on our roads. The Dunlop Rubber Company have lately added large additions to their already huge plant, with a view oE coping with the continual call.for more " Dunlops." The Australian champion, Alfred Goulett, defeated the Amer...
Call to the Colors! RECRUITS WANTED. [Newspaper Article] — Grenville Standard — 25 September 1915
Call to the Colors! —: Q RECRUITS WANTED. Victoria requires an average of 80 re cruits daily to reinforce Victorians at the front. Minimum height... 5 feet 2 inches Age 18 to 45 years Chest measurement (fully expanded) ... 83 inches Persons desiring to enlist should, if in the metropolitan area, apply at the recruiting depot at military headquart ers, and if in other localities at the near est town hall, shire hall, drill hall, or re cruiting depot, where' arrangements will be made for medical examination. Free railway tickets to the metropolis will be granted after medical examina tion. Rates of Pay per Day. After Embarkation Before (including Embarkation, deferred paj). Lieutenant ... 18s 6d 21s Sergeant ... 10s 10s 6d Corporal ... 9s 10s Private ... 5s 6s Separation Allowance. Separation allowance will be paid to married men who are receiving less than 8s per day, but such allowance will not exceed the amount necessary to make up the difference between their daily rate of pay and...
Good Investment. [Newspaper Article] — Grenville Standard — 2 October 1915
Good Investment. "I can't bear to think of going back to town," said Mrs. Bassett to the gen ial farmer at whose old farmhouse she was holiday-making. "I shall miss these new-laid eggs." "Why not have a few fowls, ma'am," he queried, 'and keep them at home?" "An excellent idea!" she exclaimed, and that night despatched a letter to her husband, informing him that she was sending some poultry along as a foundation for the flock. Her husband, on arriving home, in quired of the servant if a consignment of poultry had arrived. The maid rue fully acknowledged that it had, but that she had left the door unhinged and the .birds had escaped. "Don't send any more poultry home when you go away!" sadly exclaimed the husband to his wife when he met her on her return. "A nice time I had! They all got loose, and, after hunting for a. couple of hours and searching the whole neighborhood, I only found ten!" "'Sh!" said the lady quietly. "That's good, for I only bought six!"
DAIRYING. THE STANDARD OF A BREEDING DAIRY COW. [Newspaper Article] — Grenville Standard — 2 October 1915
DAIRYING. THE STANDARD OF A BREEDING DAIRY COW. When attention is turned to the re cords of the advanced registers of the different dairy breeds, a measure is discovered which will indicate in part what' are the hereditary possibilities of the dairy cow in milk and butter lat production. While to the market milkman the object of these tests mighc be only to determine the rela tive profit of the animals in the herd or breed, to tne constructive breeder the records have value chiefly as in dicating the milking possibilities car ried by a certain .individual or blood line. The test, no matter, whether it be for day, week, month or year, has value chiefly as indicating the cow's responsiveness to high-pressure care and her potential ability to transmit high production to her offspring. It is true that some high-testing cows will fail to produce high-testing daugh ters. It may be just as true that low testing cows never produce high-yield ing daughters. Of course this last statement appl...
Dressed the Part. [Newspaper Article] — Grenville Standard — 2 October 1915
Dressed the Part. The juveniles of Puddlefurrow had opened their cricket season. The day was fine, and the players were in good form; in fact, everything was in season, even the disgust of the sharp featured lady whose garden adjoined the pitch. "Funny thing your boy Jimmy can't play a game without 'avin' such big ideas," she remarked over the fence to the lady next door. "Wot's 'e al wus want ter stand humpire for?" j "Pity you can't get somethink better to do than find fault," came the reply. " 'E's got a right ter stand humpire if 'e likes, I s'pose?" "Dessay 'e 'as," snapped the sharp featured lady; "but nex' time 'e sneaks my old man's nightshirt off the line to dress 'isself up in 'e'll get sumat as'll make 'im want, to give other fellers a look in."
It Did Seem Queer. [Newspaper Article] — Grenville Standard — 2 October 1915
It Did Seem Queer. A poor woman who kept a small shop in a country town, and wlio was troubled with a husband who could scarcely be considered a credit to the family, one day found herself a widow through the sudden demise of her spouse. A lady, who frequently made small purchases at the shop, called to offer her sympathy, though well knowing that the man's death must, in a cer tain sense, come as a relief, as the wife had often suffered from his vio lence. She was not, however, quite prepared for the stoical way in which the wife took her bereavement. "I am sure, Mrs. Jimms, you must miss your husband," said the lady. "Well, mum," was the widow's re ply, "it do seem queer to go into the shop and find something in the till!"
HUMOROUS INCIDENTS. Tough Indeed. [Newspaper Article] — Grenville Standard — 2 October 1915
■ HUMOROUS INCIDENTS. | ) | Tough Indeed. i "Why dae ye no' buy your meat off me, noo?" asked a butcher of one of his old customers, who had recently taken to dealing with an opposition shop. "Weel," replied the old " woman, "the last I gob frae ye I could hae soled ma buits wi' it." "An' why did ye no' dae it?" asked the butcher, sarcastically. "So I wid if I could hae got tackets tae gang through't." Collapse of butcher.
Obituary. [Newspaper Article] — Grenville Standard — 2 October 1915
Obituary. 0 The funeral of Mrs John Woollard took place on 24th inst., the place of in terment being the Carngham Cemetery. There was a large attendance of mourn ers. The Rev. R. E. Saunders officiated at the house and grave. The coffin bearers were Messrs Thomas, George, Walter, and Albert Woolard (brothers in-law of deceased ; pall-bearers, Messrs L. Lewis, J. Quillinan, Jas. Whitla, J. Ringin, T. Greenbank, F. Cheeseman, Jack Whitla, W. Aisbett, L. Haywood, W. Hall, W. Murray, Ben Lewis, and J. Whelan.
A Rattled Amateur. [Newspaper Article] — Grenville Standard — 2 October 1915
A Rattled Amateur. The Shakespeare Club in the sub urbs was wont to give frequent ama teur performances distinguished for the local prominence of the partici pants. On one occasion the lines as signed a social celebrity comprised the single statement, "The Queen has swooned." As, gorgeously costumed, he took the centre of the stage, his friends applauded vociferously. Bow ing his thanks, he faced the King, and announced, impressively: — 'The Swoon has queened!" There was a roar of laughter, and the amateur, thinking to redeem him self, hastily amended, "The Sween has cooned!" Again the walls rocked, and the stage manager yelled, "Come off, you bally idiot, come off!" But the ambitious amateur, refusing to surrender without a final struggle, shrieked, in shrill falsetto, as he was assisted off the boards, "The Coon has sweened."
Sporting Notes. [Newspaper Article] — Grenville Standard — 2 October 1915
By HOTSPUR. The three big A.J.O. events are command ing the attention of most sportsmen for the present, and discussion on the two Cups ia thereby under a cloud. My forecast for the three is as follows:—Wallace Islinglasa for the A.J.C. Derby, Garlin or Flash of Steel for the Epaom Handicap, and William the Silent or Calitafor the Metropolitan. The Y.R.C. are submitting an attracting programme to-day and chief interest will go to the October Stakes, w.f.a., and the two year old event. Selections October Hurdle—Maori Prince or Wortupa. Stand Handicap—Meerut or Greek Fire. Maribyrnong Trial—King Kora or Monaro. Steeplechase—Big Bob or Rendrocb. October Stakes—Traquette or Cyldon. Paddock Handicap—Malt Guard or Miss Meadows. I will discuss the Cups in nest is3ue.
Awkward for Him. [Newspaper Article] — Grenville Standard — 2 October 1915
Awkward for Him. Lord Kitchener tells a story of a I sergeant of a company of British in fantry quartered in a Dacoit-infested district of Burma some years ago. This man. was a firm believer in des tiny, and one evening, when he was getting ready to take a stroll outside I the lines, he was seen to slip a revol ver into his pocket. Another sergeant who persistently opposed the other's theory of everything being pre-ordain ed and "fated," promptly tackled him. "Why are you taking that revolver with you?" he asked jeeringly. "To shoot with,'1 was the calm re Ply. "But if your time has come to die, you're always telling us nothing will save you," objected the other, "so what's the good of taking the revolver with you?" 'Oh," replied the sergeant wisely, "but look how awkward it would be if I met a Dacoit whose last day had come, according to destiny, and I had nothing with which to shoot him."
MAGNESIA FOR DYSPEPTICS. SPECIALIST RECOMMENDS IT INSTEAD OF DRUGS. [Newspaper Article] — Grenville Standard — 2 October 1915
MAGNESIA FOR DYSPEPTICS. SPECIALIST RECOMMENDS IT IN STEAD OF DRUGS. " Only those ia constant touch with sufferers from indigestion and dyspepsia can fully realise the harm done by the improper use of drugs and artificial di ge3tants," remarked an eminent specialist recently. " Personally I rarely advo cate the use of drugs in treatment the of digestive or stomach troubles, for in practically every instance I have proved the underlying cause to be excessive acidity of the stomach and consequent fermentation of the food contentg. Therefore in place of the once widely used drugs I invariably recommend the use of magnesia to neutralise the acidity and stop the food fermenting, and the wonderful results I have obtained during the past three years convince me that there is no finer treatment for indiges tion, dyspepsia, etc., etc. It must, of course, be clearly understood, that I do not employ or advise the use of such forms of magnesia as citrates, acetates, sulphates, etc.—these would ...
THE GREAT NET. TRAP FOR GERMAN SUBMARINES Dover Straits Barred by Miles of Steel Mesh. Northern France. [Newspaper Article] — Grenville Standard — 2 October 1915
THE GREAT NET. TRAP FOR GERMAN SUBMARINES Dover Straits Barred by Miles of Steel Mesh. By John L. Balderston in Boston "Globe." Northern France. There are 8,712,000 wire traps for the Kaiser's submarines in the Eng lish Channel. If a boat so much as pokes its nose into one of these traps it is doomed. Diagonally across the Strait of Dover, from a point a very short distance north of the entrance to Folkstone Harbor to Cape Gris Nez on the coast of France, stretches a great net containing S,712,000 wire meshes. Each mesh is eighteen inches square. Each mesh is a trap; rat traps," the men on the waiting de stroyers call them. No matter how carefully and slowly an "under-sea boat" creeps along beneath the sur face, if its nose slides into one of the wire squares it ^as no more chance of escape than a timber wolf in the Northern wilds upon whose leg snaps down the steel fangs of the hunter's snare. . . The net runs across the strait m a south-easterly direction. Cape Gris Nez, where the...
THE WOES OF WARSAW. [Newspaper Article] — Grenville Standard — 2 October 1915
THE WOES OF WARSAW. Warsaw, one of the great war cen tres of the present conflict, has play ed an important part in the history of Poland. Early i&lt;n the seventeenth century it supplanted Cracow as the capital of Poland, Cracow remaining, however, the Coronation city. In July, 1656, the Poles were vanquish ed here in a three days' hattle by the forces of Charles X. of Sweden and Frederick William, the "Great Elec tor" of Brandenburg. In 1702 Charles XII. of Sweden entered the city. The Russians, in November, 1794, storm ed Praga, a suburb of the city, and forced Warsaw to capitulate. In 1795, in the third partition of Poland, the city was given to Prussia. In 1806 the town was occupied by the troops of Napoleon, but after the peace of Tilsit—1807—it was made the capi tal of the independent duchy of War saw. It became the capital of the new kingdom of Poland, after its oc cupation by the Russians in 1813. In November, 1830, it rose against the Russians, but the latter re-en...
SPIES IN THE ARMY AND NAVY. [Newspaper Article] — Grenville Standard — 2 October 1915
SPIES IN THE ARMY AND NAVY. The services have been honeycomb ed with spies for years. Germans have enlisted and have served their time in both the Army and the Navy who at this present moment are plac ing the result of their experience at the service of the German Staff, men who know the range of our guns, the resources of our dockyards, the num ber and equipments of the vessels it is possible for our shipbuilders to com plete within a given time! At the opening of the Kiel Canal an English marine engineer, who had gone over to be present at the ceremony, fell into conversation with a German sail or. The man spoke English without a trace of accent, and discussed the points of difference between the Eng lish and the German navies with such . obvious knowledge of his subject that 1 the engineer was frankly astonished. His bewilderment reached the culmin ating point when the genial German, pointing to a battleship whose smoke was trailing on the horizon, gave her name, the number of gu...
His Good Beginning. [Newspaper Article] — Grenville Standard — 2 October 1915
His Good Beginning. "We took new reporter on trial yesterday," says a contemporary. "He went out to hunt items, and after being away all day returned with the following, which was the best he could do:— " 'Yesterday we saw a sight which froze one's muscles with horror. A cabman, driving dowu the street at a rapid pace, came very near running over a nurse and two children. There would have been one of the most heart-rending catastrophes ever re corded had not the nurse, with won derful forethought, left the children at home before she went out, and providentially stepped into a chem ist's shop just before the cab pass ed. Then, too, the cabman, just be fore reaching the crossing, thought of something he had forgotten, and, turning about, drove in the opposite : direction. Had it not been for this j wonderful concurrence of favorable | circumstances, a doting father and | affectionate mother would have been j plunged into the deepest woe and i most unutterable funeral expenses.' "The ...