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A Lucky Lawyer. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 7 May 1887
A Lucky Lawyer. "Your friend, Lawyer H., dresses pretty~. well, it seems to me,' for a man who has. only. been practicing a few years," said Smith to Thompson this morning. "' He ought to," replied Thompson: "he is miighty lucky." " I hope he don't gamble ?" " I'm afraid he does, for he told me yester that he won nearly every suit he was in,"
Who Lost It? [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 7 May 1887
Who Lost It? While on the way to my office a few days since, I discovered lying in my path a small book, which, upon opfining, I found to be an 1887 diary. There is no nanie upon.the inside to show who the owner is, but possibly, if I describe it, and quote some of the entries which appear in home-made "bluing" ink upot' its pages, it will enable the owner to claim her properly. The book, whils, in repose, is oblong in shape, but when opened, forms a perfect squa:e. The cover is a cru'de imitation of aligator leather, with a large grease spot in the upper right hand corner, which spreads as it reaches the back, forming'graceful fes toons ; the effect is very pleasing to the eye.: This lead me to believe that the owner had accidentally dropped the book into' her, soup. Upon the fly-leaf are the words, " Price fourpence, marked down from sixpence." This is also very pleasing to the eye, as`the penman shows a dlecided Civil Service: twist in his writing. Under the head of Saturday, Jan...
The Small Farmer. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 7 May 1887
The Small Farmer. The small farmer has a life long ambition tn gain a reputation for wearirg a dirty shirt. He will alarm the:neighbors by getting up two hours before day,. then, sit :around and not go till work' till after sun-rise. He will compliin of hard times; then tear his Ipants olimbing: a :fence: ; where a :gate ought to be. . He will pay fifteen shillings, for a new bridle, then let the calf chew it all to pieces before Sunday. - He will get all. his neighbors to help in getting a cow out -of the bog, then let her die for the. want of attention. S'ock will get in and destroy his crop at a place in his fence that he- has- been putting off mending tor six months. . He will sprain his back lifting something to show how strong he is. He will talk-all day Sunday on- what he -knows about farming, then' ride "rdund the neighborhood on Monday, hunting seed pota toes. . He will go in his shirt sleeves on a cold day, to show how mucht he can stand, then return home at night and occu...
Surprising a Landlord. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 7 May 1887
Surprising a Landlord. The fil!owing rc'aches us through the me dium of a much-travelled colonial: The trip was in the saddle, with my light baggage strapped on behind me. The trail as far as Mill Creek in New Mexico was well defined, and although making a steady and continuous descent the way wound along the side of the mountain and only here and there so steep as to make it n ncomfortable. or dangerous. Twelve miles of this brought me well down the mountain into a wooded country, through which wound a tiny silver: stream easily forded in places .where it seemed to pause in its tortuous course, :pre paring to lesp over a dead fall that turned its water into spray. Mill Creek Camp was passed and six miles beyond brought dark ness, and necessity for a night's halt. >A cabin showed itself beside the way and the hospitality of the ranchero was extended "' If the capitano wished to stay all night." Now the capitano did wish to stay all night, but notwithstanding my codified direction...
A Canine Customer. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 7 May 1887
A Canine Oeustomer. A dog managed to get ihto a fashionable draper's shop the other nday, and a bystander, being surprised, turned to one 6f the shop. women and asked how it came that thedog was allowed in the store. "Why," said she, "the dog is one of our customers, and it would be hardly fair to drive him out." " One of your customers," said the mysti fied party, "how can that be ?" " Why, can't you see ? " said the lady as she handed a bill to the cash boy, "The dog wants muslin'.' When the inquisitive party recovered consciousness, he was too faint to take his change, but instantly made for the open air."
Didn't Fulfil His Contract. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 7 May 1887
Didn't Fulfil His Contract. They 'came upstairs into a dentist's room They were lovers. She had her Grecian jaw tied up in a handkerchief, and one of her pearly molars which was aching away with fifteen-horse power. - He was pale, and little shivers ran up and downthis back. "Now George, you said you would," she observed as the dentist approached. George turned paler yet, and his chin wouldn't hold still. He had rashly promised his.daisy that if she .would consent to have that aching tooth drawn he would have a sound molar extracted, just to prove to her that it wouldn't hurt. "Now, George,", she continued, as she laid aside her wrap and bonnet. "I'll have it out in a moment, ' added the "dentist, as hearranged his chair. Would George flunk? Shivers seized him. His hair crawled. His knees Wouldn't stand still. He braced himself and tried to smile, but his legs wobbled, " his smile went down be hind his collar, and with a groan of despair he turned and clattered down stairs. She will...
A Late Breakfast. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 7 May 1887
A Late Breakfast. Dumley (boarder at one of our tony cash houses who owes for quite a, quantity of board and lodging). Well, Sarah, good morning. I'm a trifle late, eh ? Sarah (waitress): Everybody's gone but you. Dumley : Ah, yes, the table has t:at ap pearance. "Everybody" seems to have "gone " through it. Sarah: Eh, sir? Dumley : I meanthat there is a desolate look about the castor and the bottle of Wor chestershire sauce, which suggests a clean sweep. Sarah: No, sir. Dumley: You never lived in the back blocks Sarah? Sarah: No, sir. Dumley : Ah, then you have never seen a.wheat field after a swornm 9f grasshboppersi has finished with it ? Sarah: No, sir. Dumley : Well, Sarah, I 'never have either; but I have read of-it, and I fanicy this table resembles it .more closely than anything I ever encountered. Sarah : Yes, sir. - Dumley : And that row of pressed-glass' ggoblets, holding various levels: of water, is not specially promising to'a hungry man:. .Is it, now, Sarah? Sarah: No,...
Good Thoughts. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 7 May 1887
Life is too short for its possessors to wear long faces. Better break thy word than do worse in keeping it. Gratitude is the throwing out of.our hearts in the light of another's kindness. : No man hates himself ; the coldest among us have too much self-love for that.` ..Conscience is the voice of the soul, the passions are the voice of the body. Men discover with bitterness that nature continues to use the scourge long after they have reformed. Most of us lay up a good stock of patience, but we make the mistake of putting it where we cannot find it just when we need it most. The way to cure our prejudices is this that. every man should let alone those that he complains of in 'others, .and examine his own. Those hours are not lost that are spent in cementing affection;. for a friend is above gold, precious as the stores of the mind. Pity it is to stay the meanest thing That, like.a mote, shines in the eye of mirth,, Enough there is of joy's decrease and dearth. Man is born not to sol...
Mr. and Mrs. Bowser. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 7 May 1887
Mr. and Mrs. Bowser. " I think we'll have a few games of eucber .this evening," observed. Mr. Bowser as he laid aside his paper the other night.:: It was an observation which filled me with terror, for Mr..Bowser is, to say at least, a singular opponent in any game of luck or chance.. "Well if you suggest it," T replied. "Suggest it I Of course I ?ngg" st it 1 You speak.as if it was a ciima? for mQ to suggest a game of eucher. .Maybe you want me to go to some hotel arid play cards ?" "Oh, no, but-but the. last time we played-you know- ?"' "I know what? I know you put a queen on my ace and claimed the trick, and came out a game?abead. That's what I .know, Mrs. Bowser. and i want no more such work. Iplay an honest game, and you've got to do the same. If there- is one thing I. despise above another, it is to see a person cheating in a friendly game of cards." . " I-hope we won't. dispute, -either, Mr. Bowser." "Of course not-that is,:I shan'L give you temper. I'd learn how.'to curb.it ...
Tooth Powders. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 7 May 1887
Tooth Powders. Prophylactic medicine, an English journal says, is of greater value to the public than curative, although they are slow to give it its due; hence the subject of tuoth powders may be of some interest. The necessity of keeping the teeth clean, with a view to the prevention of future trouble, is overlooked by too many, even in the higher classes, sometimes from care lessness, sometimes from ignorance. Now, cannot the medical attendant do a great deal to combat this state of things? The dental surgeon is often asked-" How soon should the first tooth brush be used ?" "As soon as there are teeth to use it upon," should b- the reply. An ideal tooth powder should be alkaline, since acids dissolve the tooth substance; finely pulverised, that it may not mechanically abrade; antiseptic, to prevent decomposition of food lodged between the teeth, and, perhaps, to destroy the microbes which are always found choking the tubules of carious dentine; it should contain nothing irritatin...
The Household. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 7 May 1887
To SWEEP CARPETS THOROUGHLY.--In sweep ing carpets use wet newspapers rung nearly dry'and torn to pieces. The paper collects the dust but does not soil the carpet. LEMON SNAIs.-Half a cup each of hot water, sugar, molasses, and lard, one egg, half a tea spoonful of soda, flour enough to make a pretty stiff batter, flavor with extract of lemon; drop with a teaspoon on a buttered tin, leaving room to rise; bake in a quick oven. . LENTIL SouP.-Wash a quantity of lentils in cold water. Put them into a saucepan with plenty of fresh cold water, two onions stuck with cloves, and a blade of mace and a bay leaf tied together. Let them boil until done, adding at intervals small quantities of cold water. Strain off the water and pass thelentils through a sieve. Dilute them with vegetable stock, or with the liquor in. which they were boiled, to theconsistency of a purse. Make it quite hot, add a pat of fresh butter and the yelks of two eggs, beaten up with a little water and strained: Served wi...
For the Ladies [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 7 May 1887
Bead embroidery continues much in vogue, especially on tulle, gauze, or crepe-gauze threaded with gold and silver, and looks very rich of an evening, combined with French faille, plain satin, or Louis XIII. broches. A color that promises to be well liked this season is Monaco blue, but the faded tint will not please every one. The princess robe is again becoming much worn; red plush for cloaks for evening wear is being passed over for silver-grey, heliotropg and such light tints. Out-of-door costumes will be seen in plain cloth or knotted Cheviot, with the skirt made plain and short, -and a draped tunic falling only at the back; being quite separate from the front of the skirt, it may be of a different material, the bodice or jacket matching the tunic. Trains are not to be much worn, but, when they are so, will be made quite separate from the dress and lined with flannel and silk to keep them in heavy folds and in the right posi tion. If flowers are employed they must be fresh ones....
Anna of our Choir. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 7 May 1887
Anna of our Choir. Fair-featured, dimpled Anna, Petted angel of our choir, Sings a sprightly, gay soprano .... With the true artistic fire. Baldheads in the congregation. Seek her glance with awkward flushes; Yet she sings, for inspiration Will not let her pause for blushes. Bearded bass and perfumed tenor Smile and vow her words are witty; Yet they do not strive to win her Beauty Anna, bright and pretty. Heavens ! laughing dimples painted, Eyes enlarged by belladonna ! S And Ithought her such a sainted, Marvelously fair Madonna. Will she weep or will she titter As I tell her all to-morrow ?': W illher words henceforth be bitter With the bitterness of sorrow? Ah ! I fear in hesitation She will watch the laughing fellows, Then in painful desperation - Wed the man who works the bellows.