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Wasted Economy. [Newspaper Article] — Upper Murray and Mitta Herald — 7 May 1914
Wasted Economy. A tourist was stranded in Norway with only enough money in his pocket to pay his passage back to England. He thought the matter over, and came to the conclusion that he would buy the ticket, and that as a sea-trip only lasted a couple of days he yould go without food that length of time. He realised that if he stayed in Norway till his money was spent he would never be able to get back home. So he went on board the steamer and bought his ticket. He closed his ears to the sound of the luncheon bell, and when dinner-time came, and a fellow passenger asked him to accompany him to the dining-room, he politely de clined on the ground that he felt somewhat unwell. The next morning he skipped break fast by getting .up late, and at lunch time he kept to his room. At dinner time that evening, however, he was so hungry that he could have eaten a pair of shoes. "I am going to eat," he said, "even if I am thrown overboard afterwards. I might as well be drowned as starved tc deat...
A WOOD THAT NEVER ROTS. [Newspaper Article] — Upper Murray and Mitta Herald — 7 May 1914
A WOOD THAT NEVER ROTS. | Engineers have often to deplore the rotting of railway sleepers, of piles, anil of wood used to support galler ies, in the building of ships, etc. En gineers, chsmists, physicists, biolo gists, doctors, who, for the construc tion of diverse apparatus may require a wood possessing a maximum resist ance to the causes of destruction, par ticularly humidity, are interested In this important question of the un putrcscibility of wood. The ideal would be to fltid a wood of a charac ter susceptible of resisting putrefac tion naturally. Now it appears from recent researches that the wood of the mangrove tree may be considered as absolutely unputrescible. Numer ous sample of mangrove wood (Rhizo phora racemosa) sent from French Guinea were, in 1003, placed at Col longes (Cote d'Or) in a soaking pit in the depot of sleepers of the Paris Lyons-Mediterranean Railway Com pany. The samples were surrounded with all the elements susceptible of producing the decomposition an...
Advertising [Newspaper Article] — Upper Murray and Mitta Herald — 7 May 1914
ASSURANCE GO. LTD. ESYD. 1782. WQRKESS1 GO&TOiSATiflN. FIRE. ACCIDENT. LOSSES PAID EXCEED £90,000,000. Loiso* by BUSK FIRES and by LIGKTHIHO «re matfe good by this Oom.iariy. AGENTS~WANTED. VlDToniM) 4.R1. Tn 471 B -liaftt ST., """*= MEL35KRSE. DALCETV A CO LT?., ACEMT3. Not Clear. At a trial in an Australian court when the witness in the box was be ing subjected to a merciless cross-ex amination, in answering one question the witness nodded. Whereupon tlie court stenographer, who was working at high speed to get it all and could not see the witness, at once demand ed: Answer that question," to winch the witness replied: "I did answer it; I nodded my The stenographer, without a mo ment's hesitation, retaliated with, "Well, I heard it rattle, but could not tell whether it was up and down or from side to side." POTJLTEY FOR EXPO&T. All Classoi wanted. W» buy by live weight. Cratea lent, i\'o Commission or Cartage Charged. Chickens & Ducklings, 6d lb. Old Fowls ...
The Difference. [Newspaper Article] — Upper Murray and Mitta Herald — 7 May 1914
The Difference. "If you wish to distinguish between the death of a barber and the death of a sculptor, how would you do it?" asked Jack Merriless. "I don't know. Perhaps you will en lighten me," said his pal. Bob Syrm slick. "Well, to put it concisely. I should sum it up like this. The barber curls up and dyes, while the sculptor makes faces and busts." - A. lively Irishman was once invited to* a large dinner party in Dublin in the hope that he would amuse and di vert his .host's guests. But from the beginning to the end of the dinner he nreserved a solemn and serious face. The host thought this very strange. "Why, old fellow," he remarked, I don't believe the .biggest fool in Ire land could make you laugh to-night. "Try," was the wit's cutting rejora der. Two undergraduates were walking by the bunks of the Wey, when one of them, who had a taste for botany, plucked a plant from the bank, re marking that "it was a rare one." "It's an out-of-the-Wey one, at any rate," was the reply.
A Question of Honor. [Newspaper Article] — Upper Murray and Mitta Herald — 7 May 1914
A Question of Honor. Among other anecdoteB ol Univer sity life, Dean Hole tells of an occa sion when there waB some doubt as to the locality of a city mentioned in a Greek text, and the lecturer address ed a youth who had just come up from the famous Shrewsbury school. "Now, Mr. Bentley, you are a pu pil of our great geographer, Dr. But ler, the Atlas of our age, who cairie3 the world not on his shoulders, but in his head, and you can probably en lighten us as to the position ol thi3 ancient town." "I believe, sir," was the prompt re ply, "that modern travellers are o£ .opinion that the city ought to be plac ed about ten miles to the south-east o£ the spot which it now occupies on our map." After receiving respectful thanks for the information, the Informer told Dean Hole as they left the lepture room that he had never heard of tha .venerable city before, but that for. the honor of Shrewsbury and the re putation of Dr. Butler ha felt himself bound to say something.
LADIES LETTER. [Newspaper Article] — Upper Murray and Mitta Herald — 7 May 1914
LADIES' LETTER. (By "Irene.") The more we see o£ the new fash ions the more it becomes apparent tliat the stiff corset must go and the new figure and pose be adopted, to a certain extent, if they are to be worn with any good effect. There must be u svelte pliability that any much- bon ed and braced corset will not allow, and there must be a certain sugges tion of limpness. How different is the new figure-line from that of last year. So much so that many thoughtful wo men long have hesitated before adopt ing the new style. The question is: will complicated draperies enjoy as short a reign as did panniers last sea son? Parisiennes were almost taken aback themselves by the unheard of eccentricities paraded for their edi fication at fashionable racecourses. The leading houses, seeing they had overstepped the mark, capitulated, and immediately made tracks In an other direction. Hence modes which threatened to be more than eccentric have become subdued and are simple and elegant. The drap...
MR. FRUITGROWER. [Newspaper Article] — Upper Murray and Mitta Herald — 7 May 1914
MR. FRUITGROWER. Rain, hail, sunshine, blow or snow, the middleman never worries. He will "make it up" whichever way it goes. One of the main essentials to suc cess is loyalty to your co-operative society. Do not split up your consign ments and give agents an opportunity of operating against you with' your own ammunition. You must be a mighty strong man, Mr. Fruitgrower, to canty your own. and. other people's burdens the way you do. Don't you feel Bometlmes that you would like to drop some of It; that you would like to play a little and If the old apple tree could speak It surely protest agalnet giving halt its 1 ti p|11"• 11 n — >,im)ng in'~ Mel* bourne who never produce&lt;r%jtmigll.V| but a fat bank pass book. Whistler the artist, vaa once walk ing through a field, when suddenly he found that a, huge bull was making straight towards him. He ran as he had never lun before. When he reached the Jther side of the fence he saw a fa'iner, the owner of the field cooly witchin...
Dire Distress. [Newspaper Article] — Upper Murray and Mitta Herald — 7 May 1914
Dire Distress. "Excuse me, Jones," said the well dressed friend, "but personal friend ship promps me to speak." "What is it, old chap?" "I fear that, unless you improve your personal appearance, you may lose your job." "I hope not." "You need a new hat." "Dm." ■ _ J "You need a new suit." "Um." « "You need shoes. Man alive, your feet are on the ground." "Quite true," admitted Jones, with a sigh. "Then take this week's salary and spruce up." "Can't squander any money on my self, old man. My wife is worse off than X am." , "Dear me! How is that?" "She needs a new feather in her hat."
Offside. [Newspaper Article] — Upper Murray and Mitta Herald — 7 May 1914
Offside. Dr. C. W. Ktmmina, inspector of sohools, recently told a good story about the visit of that famous scien tific body, the British Association, to South Africa. During the visit one of the learned professors went to a barber to have a shave, and the latter, as barbers will, chatted about the local news. "What exactly is this British Asso ciation?" he asked. The professor explained that it was a society of learned scientific men. "Oh," said the barber, in tones of evident disappointment, "I thought it was a football team!" The man who is satisfied to wait for something to turn up gets used to being turned down.
THE CELLAR OF DEATH, j A NIGHT-WATCHMAN'S STORY. [Newspaper Article] — Upper Murray and Mitta Herald — 7 May 1914
THE CELLAR OF DEATH, j A NIGHT-WATCHMAN'S STORY. Do I think you inquisitive, sir? Nay, but I don't. 'Tis only natural lor anyone to ask a man who isn't thirty-live yet what it was that turned his hair white. For you don't often see a fellow ot my ago with snow white locks like these, I'll warrant. I reckon I'm what they call unique. it was a single night in the cellar of the Northchester Sugar House that did it, if you care to know, though I ain't so sure that I altogether likes telling my story even now, after six years and more. Many a night have 1 wakened up from sleep, trembling from head to foot, after dreaming about that terrible night. The hor ror of it seems fixed m my brain past all forgetting. It comes back to me so plainly that somehow my blood dries up all in a moment. I tell you, sir, if ever any man was rescued from death by the skin of his teeth, it's the white-haired man who stands be lore you. | But first of all, before I begin to ; reach the blood-curdling part—for...
SING A SONG OF MICROBES. [Newspaper Article] — Upper Murray and Mitta Herald — 7 May 1914
SING A SONG OF MICROBES. Sing a song of microbes, Dainty little things, Ears and eyes and liorns and tails, Claws and fangs and stings. Microbes; in the carpet, Microbes in the wall, Microbes in the vestibule, Microbes in the hall. I Microbes on my money, Microbes in my hair, Microbes on my meat and' bread, Microbes everywhere. Microbes in the butter, Microbes in the cheese, Microbes on the knives and forks, Microbes in the breeze. Microbes in the kitchen, , Microbes in the bed, Microbes on the brush and comb, Microbes in my head, Microbes in the faucet, Microbes in the drains, i Microbes in my shoes and boots, MicrobeB in my brains. ! Friends &re little microbes, Enemies are big, Life among the microbes is— Nothing but "Infra dig."_. ■, ........... _ Fussy little. microbes, Billions at a birth, ■ r. ■ • Make our flesh and blood and bones Keep us on the earth." —Toronto "Guardian." A lady was seen ill Hyde Park last week wearing a new walking skirt in the form of creased tro...
FROM VARIOUS SOURCES [Newspaper Article] — Upper Murray and Mitta Herald — 7 May 1914
FROM VARIOUS SOURCES' There are three kinds of men who don't know anything about women. They are old men, young men, and middle-aged men. -Brooklyn "Eagle." Never mind them, little skirt, Who your character would hurt. From the way you shrink and shrink, You're quite timid, I should think. —"Judge," New York. I want to warn meat-eaters against a cunning conspiracy to convert them into vegetarians. A man (whom 1 have since discovered to be a notori ous nut-eater) lured me into a strange restaurant yesterday morning, and set before me something that looked like a mutton cutlet. I cannot tell exactly what first aroused my sus picions, but suddenly approaching tile cutlet from behind I tore off its talse frill, and discovered it to be some nuts and potatoes in disguise. Then I saw mrough the whole game at once. Some desperate band of vegetarians are sitting up at nights training bananas to look like pork sausages, and teach ing innocent little walnuts to go about masquerading as deville...
Handicapped. [Newspaper Article] — Upper Murray and Mitta Herald — 7 May 1914
Handicapped. Saxe, the American poet, was once taking a trip on a steamer, •when he fell in with a lovely young lady to whom he made himself very agree able. Of course, he made an impres sion upon the damsel, who said at parting—"Good-bye, Mr. Saxe, I fear you will soon be forgetting me." "Well, my dear young lady," said the inveterate punster, "if I was not a married man already, you may rest assured I'd be for getting you."
PATTERN OF BECOMING EVENING DRESS. [Newspaper Article] — Upper Murray and Mitta Herald — 7 May 1914
PATTERN OF BECOMING EVENING DRESS. This simple little evening dress v.-lll appeal directly to the average woman. lc will look effective made up of scift silk and shadow lace. It rcprest-nts "Everylady'B Journal" pattern No. 174—cut in three sizes—small, isc dium and large. This pattern may be bought from local pattern agent, or will be sent post free to any address if ninepence in stamps is sent to Dept. A, "Everylady's Journal," 37S Swanston-street, Melbourne. State number of pattern and size required. It' a penny Btamp is sent to above ad dress a 48-page catalogue will be sent to any. reader who writes "send free catalogue.'.'
GREENBACKS. [Newspaper Article] — Upper Murray and Mitta Herald — 7 May 1914
GREENBACKS. Few people, perhaps, are aware why the national American currency xis printed with green backs. Ever sinct the adoption of paper currency it has been the constant study of bank-nott engravers to get up some plnn of printing bills that could not be coun terfeited. In this they only partly succeeded till as late as 1857, when a man named Stacy J. Edson invented a kind of green ink, which he patent ed June 30 of that year. It is called anti-photographic ink, because it can not be photographed and cannot be dislodged with alkalies by counterfei ters to get a complete facsimile ol the bills. As it is a secret known only to the American Bank Note Com-" pany and the inventor, it is impossible to counterfeit the greenback money. Even If the composition of the ink was known, it would be of no use. as the work could not be copied from the genuine bills with any other kind of ink.