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For the Ladies [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 30 April 1887
"The rainbow party " is the latest novelty in absurdities of which we have yet heard, with the exception, perhaps, of the "donkey party."- Beth are being played in America, causing, it is sa.id, great amusement to those concerned in it. We give the details of the former, and think our readers will. say, with Mr. Pickwick, that "it is easy to amuse some people." This game, which in Chicago became in a few days "an epidemic," consists of all the young ladies wearing little aprons of any design they please, but leaving thebottom edge unhemmed. A number is fastened on it, and the duplicate one placed in a box in the cloak room for gentlemen, under the charge of two of the young ladies, who sell them at a dollar a-piece, sometimes as much as 5 dols. each being given. When all: the tickets have been matched, each gentleman has to hem his special apron, no assistance, even of threading the needle, being allowed. A committee then judge the work, and the prizes are awarded. These latter are ...
Told in Song. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 30 April 1887
Told in Song. " What is your name?" "My name is Norval on the Grampian Hills.'' ". Wheredid you come -froni-?" .'Icame from thehappyi land where care is unkhown !" " Where are you lodging now,?" "I- dreamt I dwelt in marble halls." " Where are you going to ?" " Far over hill and dale." W" hat is your occupation ?" "I played on a harp of a thousand strings.' " Are you married ?' " Long time ago. Polly put the kettle on." "When were you married ?' "'Twas twelve o'clock one starlight night, I ever shall remember." " How many children have you ?" "There's Doll and Bet and Moll and Kate, and-" " What is yourwife's name ?" " Oh, no, I never mentioned her." " Was your wife good-looking ?" " She was all my fancy painted her." " Did your wife treat you badly ?" " Oft in the stilly night." " What are your posses-ions ?" " Old dog Tray." "What do you propose to do with him ?" " Send him to the other side of Jordan." " How do you propose to make a living ?" "Pull off my coat and roll up my slee...
What Made His Head So Soft? [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 30 April 1887
What .Miade His iead So Soft ? ?" Yes, my hands arv, soft," said a dudish and, conceited young fellow [who serves his country in the Lands Depart ment the other night in a small company, as he admiringly looked at those useless appendages that had never done a day's work. "Do you know how I do it?" he exclaimed proudly. " I wear gloves on my hands every night to sleep in." "' Do you sleep with your hat on also ?" asked a pert young woman. And the young 'fellow replied its the negative, and looked wonderingly because the company smiled.
THE SOLEMN HALF-HOUR. BOOTS. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 30 April 1887
THE SOLEMN HALF-HOUR. BY SILAS SNELL I BOOTS. The Australian aboriginal is not a man of culture and refinement; he 'has not got brain power enough to drive a- ten-head battery or a prosperous saw-mill; this is generally admitted. People who will leave their customers waiting while they argue and disagree over any other question, from the merits of a bull pup to the science of the Darwinian hypothesis; complacently agree that our original nigger is a miserable makeshift, poorly . designed 'and badly equipped. But there is one point upon which that attenuated, illiterate savage can perch and therefrom guy our boasted civilisation. Whoever saw the black man in his simple rural life wedge his ~axgiuar feet into a pair of spike-toed boots, land follow his calling like a lame hen chasing a grasshopper ? No body, we'll venture.' The native was not a power in the matter .of learning, he knew nothing about the Copernican theory, and ;,could.,not ,have~. sonduotsd, a :anews-. paper' with succ...
Wit and humor [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 30 April 1887
A colac farmer has got a potato which squints; last year his wheat was lop-eared. Colonial culture still making itself felt in England. Somebody called a liar in the House of Commons. The burglar who has not been shaved since this day fortnight can hardly be called a smooth-faced villain. - The ladies of Wellington (N.Z.) are going in for aquatics. Thunder I If the coming wife can pull a skull better than the present one, we pity the coming husband. A man who had been drunk since Christ mas. has lately died in Victoria. Where he has gone, we reckon he'll have some trouble to get a hair from the dog that bit him. So the Imperial Conference is going to take up the case of the Deceased Wife's Sis ter. Well, we don't care. But we wish they'd take up the case of the non-deceased wife's mother. The editor of a back block paper tells of a hen which laid such an enormous egg that when she climbed up on top to hatch it she was frozen to death. But you can't always believe those back block ed...
THE VOYAGE. "We Sail on the Ocean Blue."—Pinafore. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 30 April 1887
THE VOYAGE. ti "We Sail on the Ocean Blue."-Pinafore. t Having arranged these preliminaries, we ti purchased a through ticket to London, with h choice of routes of railways across the Ame- v rican continent and steamers across the o Atlantic for £71; and soon found ourselves tl on the magnificent "Alameda," the "pioneer" b of the Speckels line. The pilot was on the h bridge with the captain, and the officers a standing to order at their respective stations. m Soon the gong sounded; the order-" Every. sa body for the shore" rang out, and, with the b thunder of the llb. signal cannon reverberat- a ing in the quarries of the Bays around, we a floated majestically down towards Fort v Denison; then past Bradley's Head; stop- p ping for an instant at Watson's Bay to dis- d charge our pilot, we passed the Heads, and shortly the high cliffs of the Australian c coast were lost to view. a There were a large number of passengers p on board, with some of whom we were already acquainted. As the ...
From Sydney to New York: OVER THE RIO GRANDE AND BURLINGTON. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 30 April 1887
From Sydney to NegwYork : OVER THE RIO GRANDE AND BURLINGTON. By E. W. MooN of'the New York Mirror. PBELIMINEBIES. After many years of hard work spent in Australia, I began to feel that I sadly needed a rest, and, by the advice of my friends, determined to follow in the wake of the many Pilgrims to Europe from Australia, and try the effect of an ocean voyage, with a view to regaining my accustomed health and cheer fulness. Since I migrated to Australia some years ago, I had amassed considerable wealth, and so could comfortably spare a few months' holiday, and leaving my business inthe capable hands of my subordinates, some of whom had been with me almost since the inception of my commercial career. Meeting an old friend in Collins street one day, I mooted my project to him, and was overjoyed to find that he not only commended my plans, but also volunteered to accompany: me on- my :journey. The next matter for conisideration was the route we should take,' and iwe dili? gently wasted ...
Gin and Water. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 30 April 1887
Gin and Water. In, Temple Bar ," Pax" hs 'a paper on "Manchester Worthies." From the `last we may take this story; told of one of the famous Grant Brothers, better known as.the Cheery bles in "Nicholas Nickleby" :-" They were shrewd men (says the writer), their benevo lence notwithstanding. A' master one day wanted aome work. done which could only be managed by. a certain skilled workman. Un fortunately, the man was given to drink. So a bargain was struck that, besides his wages, he should have gin and water al libitulm. "Now mind," said the master, "you promise to drink up what I first give you before you touch a drop more." As the work went on the man asked for his gin. " How much will you start with " " Sixpenn'orth." " Now gin and-water, mind you; and you must drink it all beforeyou drink again. Cold or hot 7" " Cold." " All right ; here goes. Bring me a pail of water." It was brought, and into that the gin was poured. The man was dumb founded ; but he was held to his bargain, a...
All Abroad. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 30 April 1887
All Abroad. A representative Australian: went to visit Europe a while back, and took his wife in tow. She had saved up a deal of lucre, but he was very deficient as a linguist ; most re presentative Australians are. This man's name was George, he had some other name, but George is enough for us. His first dinner in France was eaten at one of the big hotels in the capital. His wife was with him. They consulted the bill of fare, and George pointed with his finger to the first item. The waiter bowed, went off and soon returned with a copious supply of soup for two. It was pala table, and George did full justice. Consult ing the bill of fare once more, he pointed to the second item, somewhat to the surprise of the garcon. But he nodded his head empha tically, and ejaculated "oui" two or three times. The conquered waiter brought him two more plates of soup. George had to pre tend now that he was very fond of soup, so he ate it with great relish, although it had a very filling effect. Whe...
DRYSDALE. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 30 April 1887
DRYSDALE. &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; The seasonable weather of the past few weeks have been availed of by the &nbsp; &nbsp; farmers for clearing and ploughing &nbsp; their land. Teams of horses now occupy the fields which a few weeks ago pre &nbsp; &nbsp; sented rows of onions and bags, and the yellow carpet of harvest is rapidly giving place to the dark velvet~like hue of the upturned soil. Now that onion harvest is over, and the ruling prices are everywhere deemed unsatisfactory, the question which is agitating many minds—What is onion &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; growing coming to? The fact is, that too much onion land is let to small growers, who have to meet their rents by the end of March. To raise the amount the crops are rushed into the market, glut follows as a matter of course, and prices fall. Land-owners are beginning to think they would profit considerably by letting less of their l...
Family Notices [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 30 April 1887
Death: BLANCHARD.—On the 24th inst, &nbsp; at North street, Ascot Vale, Maria Jane, &nbsp; the beloved wife of L. J. Blanchard, eld- est daughter of T. B. and E. C. Gander- ton, Queenscliff, aged 31 years and &nbsp; &nbsp; four months. Her end was peace. IN MEMORIAM. &nbsp; &nbsp; In loving remembrance of JOHN &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; WILLIAMS, upwards of 27 years a resi- dent of Queenscliff, who departed this &nbsp; life on Easter Sunday, 1886. &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; " 'The memory of the just is blessed."
The Solemn Half-hour AT THE DEMONSTRATION. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 7 May 1887
BY SILAS SIELL, AT TH[E DEMONSTRATION. Upon ordinary occasions we avoid crush and turmoil.; we would rather. look upon the wine when it's red, or the beer when it's head's on, in some sunny nook, surrounded only by perfumed flowers and carolling birds, than join the motley throng, and be battered up against verandah posts, and broken across horse-troughs. Our idea of agreeably spending a holiday differs from that of the common herd; we.have an aesthetic fancy, and love our pipe and a holy calm ; but when the nation is turning out to com memorate a grand democratic institution. we set aside our personal inclinations and endeavor to be on hand, that the people may not be disappointed and sigh for us. We went to witness the Eight Hours de monstration. A large deputation of in fluential working men waited upon us at our private mansion, and pressed us to ride in front of the procession on a triumphal car, and wear a halo made of block tin, but we niodestly declined. We are the oldest li...
He was a Good Listener. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 7 May 1887
S He was a Good Listener. A Ballarat man tells a good story of a ex mayor of that town, who is a good talker and likes' to do :most of the talking himself; One day, in making the journey from Goldopolis to Geelong, he shared his seat in the carriage with a bright-eyed, pleasant-faced gentleman. ,The;ex-mayor, after a few commonplace re marks, to which his companion smiled and nodded assent, branched into a description of the scenes he had witnessed in different parts' of the country, grew eloquent over the colon ials, described with glowing speech the horse races he had witnessed, talking learnedly of breeding, and told thrilling stories of life on the diggings. The hours slipped rapidly away, :and when the train was nearing Geelong the two exchanged cards and parted with a cordial shake of the hands. The ex-mayor drove to an inn, and to a number of friends he re marked that the time had never seemed so short before. " Then you must have had pleasant com pany aboard." " You are righ...