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In Trouble Again. [Newspaper Article] — Clunes Guardian and Gazette — 14 May 1914
Trouble Again Traveller (to an Irishman): Well, Mike, I see you have a small garden. "Yes, sorr!" "What are you going to set in it for next season?" "Nothing, sorr. I set it with pota toes last year, and not one of them came up." "That's strange. How do you ex plain it?" "Well, sorr, the man next door to me set his garden full of onions." "Well, had that anything to do with your potatoes not growing?" "Yes, sorr. Bedad, them onions was that strong that my potatoes couldn't see to grow for their eyes water ing!"
AMUSING INCIDENTS. A Unique Subscription. [Newspaper Article] — Clunes Guardian and Gazette — 14 May 1914
AMUSING INCIDENTS. A Unique Subscription. Dean Hole told a capital story, of John Bright. A witty and persistent clergyman was urging Mr. Bright to subscribe towards rebuilding IiIb church, and got the natural reply that, as a Quaker, Bright could hardly be expected to give for the purpose. The clergyman replied that the building must be pulled down first, and that perhaps he would like to sub scribe to that part of the process. Ac cordingly, Mr. Bright subscribed £10.
Spiteful. [Newspaper Article] — Clunes Guardian and Gazette — 14 May 1914
Spiteful. "My husband considered a very long time before he proposed to me. He waB very careful." "Ah, It's always those careful peo ple who get taken in!" Time was when there were no look ing-glasses. In those days men grew long beards and women wore th^ir hair flowing. When the looking-glass came men shaved themselves to dis cover what they were like; ;md then it was that women began ti> worry whether their hats were on straight. There has never been a problem thiit has caused such waste of time or so much distraction as this (inost!on of the straight hat. Some women like children, some like charities, and some like men.
Courage. [Newspaper Article] — Clunes Guardian and Gazette — 14 May 1914
Courage. Admiral Lord Howe, when Captain, was hastily awakened in the middle of the night by the lieutenant of the watch, -who informed him with great agitation that the ship was on fire near the magazine. 1 "If that be the case," uaid he, rising leisurely to put on his clothes, "we shall soon know it." The lieutenant flew back to th° scene of danger, and, almost instantly returning, exclaimed, "You need not, sir, be afraid, the fire is extinguish ed." "Afraid!" exclaimed Howe. "What do you mean by that, sir? I never was afraid in my life." Then, he adde I, looking the lieutenant full in the face, "Pray, how does a man feel when he is afraid? I need not ask how i.o looks." People who live double lives are aipt to discover in the end that neither of fchem was profitable. When a man has failed at every thing else he can still become-a critic. Many a man gets a reputation for wisdom by leaving things unsaid.
A Poor Congregation. [Newspaper Article] — Clunes Guardian and Gazette — 14 May 1914
A Poor Congregation. Mr. Robert Ford, who has just pub lished a delightful book entitled "This tledown," teils an amusing story of a clergyman who stood for some time one Monday morning watching a man fishing for trout in a Scotch stream. "I'm a fisher, too," remarked^ the minister in the course of conversation, adding rather unctuously: "But a fisher of men." "Aye," was the dry retort of the angler, "I had a peep into your creel yesterday. Ye didna' seem to hae catohed many!"
WORKING-MAN ARTIST. [Newspaper Article] — Clunes Guardian and Gazette — 14 May 1914
WORKING-MAN ARTIST. The "Universe" tells the Interest ing lite-story of the "working-man art ist of Walworth," whose powers have been attracting attention. Having first seen the light at Man chester in 1867, Matthew Mooneywas taken at the age of three to Glasgow, where he received his schooling at tho Franciscan School, South Side. He commenced work as steward on a pleasure-steamer plying round the Scottish coast; went later to Man chester and worked In a wine bar; five years later he became valet to Cardinal Vaughan, with whom he tra velled; acted as steward on a Royal Mail Steam Packet boat; took up a job as a stage hand at Drury Lane Theatre; and then turned engineer. He is now assistant electrician at a London hotel. Mr. Mooney's home is in a "depress ing street" in Walworth. Ho was thirty-two before ho "touched a paint box." Seeing the scene-painters busy at Drury Lane Theatre, be became sud denly interested in their work. At every opportunity ho watched them spread their color...
A Mark of Nationality. [Newspaper Article] — Clunes Guardian and Gazette — 14 May 1914
A Mark of Nationality. Sir David Gill, the famous astrono mer, was once emphasising the extra ordinary care and minuteness with which astronomical observations were taken. One observation, he said, was rather similar in its extreme minuteness to attempting to see the hundredth part of the diameter of a threepenny-bit that was a mile away. "One can see that you're a Scots man," retorted one of his hearers. "Nobody else would bother about the hundredth part of a threepenny-bit a mile away!"
What is Work. [Newspaper Article] — Clunes Guardian and Gazette — 14 May 1914
What Is Work. "You are advertising for a chauf feur, I see, Mrs. Do Payste?" "Yes; we had to let William so last week." "I thought you were well pleased with him?" "At first we were, but a new broom sweeps clean, you know, and -we I found that William got lazy. He was fine at washing the windows, doing the garden, mowing the lawn, tending the fires, running errands, pressing clothes, sweeping the walks, polish ing the floors, oiling the furniture, preparing the vegetables, waiting at table, and washing the dishes. But he was lazy. He used to go to sleep at midnight regularly, no matter where he was. Many a time Mr. De Payste has left the club for home at two o'clock in the morning and found William snoring in the car outside. Imagine how it must have looked to our friends to see our chauffeur asleep in the street!" Dennys, Lascelles Ltd., in conjunc tion with Mr. H. E. B. Armstrong, re port the sale for the trustees of the late P. W. Armytage, of the "Wooloo manata" Estate, near Lar...
FACTS AND FANCIES. The Fuel Sollors of Korea. [Newspaper Article] — Clunes Guardian and Gazette — 15 May 1914
FACTS AND FANCIES. The Fuel Sailors ot Korea. | The streets of Seoul, the capital o» ; Korea, are alway picturesque, and tho 1 fuel sellers never fail to attract notice. This commodity is brought from tho 1 surrounding districts into the city by bullocks, ponies, and men. Porters go along with cartloads of evergreen branches fastened to the jigg7-1 sort of framework which they wear upon ( their backs. Bullocks by scores are ; entirely covered with bundles of wood. A single animal will carry almost looolb. Indeed, the load is sometimes so laTgc that it rises 6ft. or 8ft. above the back of the .bullock, and hangs ( down on the sides almost to his feet, j so that one sees little more than the I creature's head, tail, and hoofs as he goes along the road. The wood is chopped into convenient stove-lengths. Oak-Apple Day. Many middle-aged men may still re member having worn in their youth an oak-apple or oak-leaf as a token of loyalty to the throne on May 29th. This was not-as is often err...
MAGNETISM STOPS TRAIN. [Newspaper Article] — Clunes Guardian and Gazette — 15 May 1914
' MAGNETISM STOPS TRAIN. I A remarkable explanation ia given . of a slight accident to a Bristol to I Padding'-,on express at Twyford, five I miles from Reading, yesterday after ' noon (says "The Daily News," March 7). A pieco of the stock metal, lying near the embankment in readiness for any emergency, was magnetically picked up by an electric ramp on tho train and penetrated the guard's van, to winch it caused damage. The guard immddiately caused the train to bo stopped, but tho delay was only of short duration and the other traffic was impeded. There was no alarm amongst the passengers, for until the j train was brought to a stansstill just outside Twyford st ition they had had no warning of anything unusual hav ing happened.
CLUNES AND DISTRICT PUBLIC BODIES, &c. CLUNES BOROUGH COUNCIL. [Newspaper Article] — Clunes Guardian and Gazette — 15 May 1914
CLUNES AND DISTRICT 1 PUBLIC BODIES, &c. CLUNES BOROUGH COUNCIL. Created a Borough, 19 th Octo ber, I860 Mayor-Cr J. F. Phillips. Councillors.-East Ward: J. F. Phillips, J.P.. G. Hay, P. Rowe. West Ward:-A. E. Kempson, R. Lean, C- F&ulkes North Ward :-W - Richards, J.P., W. Turnbull, J-P-, J- F. Weick hardt Council meets every alternate Wednesday evening, at 7-30. Town clerk, surveyor, valuer, I treasurer.-H. E- Sando, C.E Town clerk's assistant, and col lector.-C. P. Cooper CLUNES WATER COMMISSION Commissioners--Members of Clunes Borough Council. Meet monthly after council meeting. TALBOT SHIRE COUNCIL Created a district, 16th Novem ber, 1860- Proclaimed a shire, 31st October, 1865. _ President--R. W. Nichol, J-P. Councillors--West riding: H Churchill, J-P-, F- Miller, J-P-, A Matthews. East riding: (J I raser, J-P., T- Fawcett, J.P-, H. ft. Vinecombe. South riding '. R. W. Nichol, J.P., A- Coutts, J-P-, J- S. Branigan. Secretary, engineer, valuer, etc. -E- P. Dowdi...
FLOWER CROP. [Newspaper Article] — Clunes Guardian and Gazette — 15 May 1914
JFLQliVER CROP. The flower crop of the Scilly islands lias been remtu'kablo this year for its plentifulness. In ono week 115 tons of blooms were despatched to the mainland, and it is estimated that by the time every flower lias been picked \ in the gardens, 1000 tons of daffodils, narcissi, violets and other spring flowers will havo been gathered for the English markets. As the time for picking and pack ing the blooms arrives the services of every available person are enlisted. Steamers take the cises containing the flowers across to Penzance, where a spticial train to London awaits them. To the spring crop from the Scilly isles have been added lately large quantities of violets and wallflowers from the south-lands of West Corn wall. IMPUBITIES IN THE BLOOD,--"We have seen hosts of letters from people who have received great benefit from the UBB of Clarke's Blood Mixture. It cannot be too highly estimated, for it cleanses and clears the blood from all impuiities." Thin in a good tes...
SNAILS FROM THE ROMANS. [Newspaper Article] — Clunes Guardian and Gazette — 15 May 1914
SNAILS FROM THE ROMANS A recent death at Bath as the result of eating snails which had been feeding on ivy has called attention once more to the fact that in the West of England there are many whoregard snails as a delicacy, while others eat them on account ot their real or imaginery medicinal properties (says " The Daily Express-") For forty years Charles Reed, who lives in Avon 6treet, Bath, and is known to all his acquain tances as " Snail Charley," has made a living by collecting snails for commercial purposes. Reed claims that a particularly fine variety of snail found at Bathamp ton are descendants of the edible snails bred and fattened by the Romans during their occupation of Bath To an interviewer Reed recal led the time when a collector of snails could earn as much as a sovereign a day by bartering salt fish for snails collected by school children- Now he declared, the demand is so large that the com mon snail is doomed to extinc tion in the district unless snail farms are ...
Advertising [Newspaper Article] — Clunes Guardian and Gazette — 15 May 1914
CHAMPION Autumn andWinter Goods CHOICE MILLINERY Wo are provioing larger tban usual in this department, and trust to participate largely In supplying Clunes and district. Our Moderate Prices for Ladies' Artistic Head Attire, compared with high city ' prices, should be an incentive to purchase locally. OUR MOTTO : Highest Class Millinery at Moderate Prices. We have secured the services of a competent City Milliner, who will uphold our reputation as a First-Class Millinery House. Hias M'Donald is also an expert in the Modern Corset and Under wear demands of the present moment. W« are Agents for DR. JAEGER'S SANITARY WOOL SYSTEM Several Lines Stocked. THE WORLD'S POPULAR CORSET .... Is.the "P'D.," which we stock in all the Latest Long Models Also, the Long KABO CORSET. .All Makes and Sizes in Stock. GENTS' TAILORING. Dan't Forget we are UP-TO-DATE TAILORS. Suits to Order from 34s. 6d. But High-class Tailoring is our Speciality Satisfaction Guaranteed at W. J. CHAMPIO N'S. Commonwealth ...
BRITISH LABOR OUTPUT. [Newspaper Article] — Clunes Guardian and Gazette — 15 May 1914
BRITISH LABOR OUTPUT The head of a great business in Glasgow has just complained, of the diminishing output of British labor, and " The Times" collects a few comments from other in dustrial centres upon the Bame phenomenon- . The part which low production plays in our social. difficulties is seldom realised, says " The Pall Mall-" It is evidently hopeless to look for high wages in indus tries where the day's toil of a worker does not add more than three or four shillings to the wealth of the nation- But it is not of these more depressed i branches of labor that the present , complaint is uttered- The men j wbo are charged with " slack ing" in their attention to work, so ! that business is congested, and promising orders are sent abroad, belong to the higher trades in which wages are relatively good, machinery and method are well developed, and all that is missing I is human pertinacity What is clear enough is that the tasks of the workshop and the factory fail to enlist the complete...
Markets. BALLARAT LIVE STOCK MARKET. Tuesday. [Newspaper Article] — Clunes Guardian and Gazette — 15 May 1914
Markets. BALLAKAT LIVE STOCK MARKET. Tufisduy. Fnt catMo:-1G7 bend came to hand for to-day's sales, about one-third of which consisted of quality ranging from good to prime. The balance was principally middling and useful descrip tions, with about 25 simply stores. There was a full attendance of the trade, consequently throughout the sales competition, especially for quality, ruled ve ry brisk, last week's highest values being fully maintained, closing firm. . Quotations:-Prime pons bullocks, £11$ 10b to £11 10s; extra, £15 10s to £16 15s; good, £12 to £13; useful, £10 10s to £11 10s; prime pens cows, XI0 to£il ; extra, £11 10s to £12 7s Gd ; good, £8 10a to £9 10s; useful, £7 10s to £8 10s. Calves:-12 penned, chiefly 1 usoful descriptions. For quality a keen demand ruled; best selling to 69s. Sheep:-1000 was the number (penned for today's sales, consisting principally of quality ranging from useful to good, a fair proportion prime, remainder middling sorts niul ewes in lamb. There ...
Drug Fiends. TRAFFIC IN NEW YORK. [Newspaper Article] — Clunes Guardian and Gazette — 15 May 1914
Drug Fiends. TRAFFIC IN NEW YORK. The police of New York are conducting a campaign against the sellers of cocaine, morphia, and other drugs, and a man who is alleged to be the son of a British peer voluntarily came for ward as a witness against one of these illicit dealers. The witness called himself Mr Bosworth, but it was stated that his real name was concealed in order to shield his family in Eng land. " Mr Bosworth" is evi dently a man of education, and he declared that he was an Oxford graduate and had been through the Boer War, serving with a Canadian contingent. tie was wounded at Spion Kop, and in valided out of the Army He stated that after being invalided he returned to America, and his wounds causing him in tense pain he began to use cocaine to deaden it. The habit grew upon bim, and for several years past he has frequented the lowest dens of the city where he oould obtain the drug. He stated that he made several efforts to overcome the habit, but every time he tried to g...
BALLARAT PRODUCE MARKET. [Newspaper Article] — Clunes Guardian and Gazette — 15 May 1914
I BALLARAT PRODUCE MAR KET. 7 , The quotations are:-Wheat, 3s lOcl to :1s 10d for prime milling. ; Oats: Fair feed, Is 10(1 to Is lid for stout, heavy milling. Peas, 4s to 4s Oil. Barley : Prim;, 3s 3d to 3s 4d.; fair to good, 2s 9d to.3s. Cape, 2s to 2s 3d. Flour, £9. Bra.u, £5 us. Pollard, £5 10s. Potatoos, new £3 lf>s to ,£i. 10s.' Hay : Best dialling, £2 2s Gd ; manger, £2 7s 6d. Straw, 32s Gd.
Advertising [Newspaper Article] — Clunes Guardian and Gazette — 15 May 1914
Plano& Organ Timing .Our Piano Tuner, Mr GEO, PABKEB, u ftt present in CIUDCS, Those requiring the services of a thoroughly compoion: Uipn aro requested to leave their name .nd address at Blackband's. Clunos will be visited quarterly. Ask for particulars regarding our tri»yearly tuning list. buttons Proptj. JLtd., BALLARAT, And at Melbourne, Bendigo.and Geelong EBERHARD & CO., LEMONADE, BODA WATEB, BINGEB ALE AND COBDIAL MANUFACTUBEBS Of the Beat Quality and Lowest Prices *Tppe* Fraser streot. RICHARD LEAN, GENERAL STOBEKEEPEB, RESPECTFULLY asks the Public to Olunea and District to call and ini&lt; .peot bis large and welliselected stock of general UBOCERIES, CROCKER'S WABE, ENAMELWAREj AND TINWABE of all fcindB. Only tho best brands ot everything kept on hand; so by strict at. tention to business, combined with civility, he hopes to receive a Bhare of Sublic patronage. Agent for Gordon Iros. celebrated Garden and Flower Beeda, Note the address Talbot Road. G...
FACE ITCHED AND BURNED [Newspaper Article] — Clunes Guardian and Gazette — 15 May 1914
FACE ITCHED AND BURNED 817 Young St., Fitzroy, Vic.-"My ta,CQ find Arms aro completely cured by Cutlcuro 0oap and Cutlcura Ointment. I suffered " for about sovon or eight inontha with soro . f&cd and arms. They itched and burned and &o skin camo off. It Itched terribly and &lt;7hoh I rubbed it wator oozed out. I tried ftho Cuticura Soap and Ointment and ftfund fihsy savo me instant rclfof, and within a very short time, as I have Baid, the irri tation disappeared and my skin was quite restored.'' (Signed) Alfred Cbcssell, Juno; 1012. ' Cuticura Soap and Ointment do much for poor complexions, red, rough hands, and dry, thin and falling hair. Sold throughout fiho world. Liberal samplo of cach mailed fro®, with 32-p. Skin Cook. Addrosi B. ttowD8 & Co- Sydney, N. S. W.