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WIT AND HUMOR. [Newspaper Article] — Tocumwal Guardian and Finley Free Press — 11 September 1908
"Dear,' eald tho melancholy wife, "If you die first you will wait fir mo thoro on that far shore, won't you7" "I guess so," replied taor husband, with a yawn. "I'vo always had to wait for you wherever I go." First Clubman (M.P.) : You say I did no thing during tho last session In tho 'Houso of Commons? Aro you awaro that I asked 70 questions? Second Clubmnn (political' oppo nent) : What an Ignorant ass you must bo! Above tho door of an old Norman church was engraved In stone-"This is the gftto to heaven." Under this Inscription a notice wca put up pinned to tho door by tho unconscious rector, "This door Is closcd during the winter mouths." A young lad was sent to tho butcher's to buy a sheep's head. The hutched, not having one, and wishing to have o llttlo fun with tho lad, told him ho had not got one for sulo that day cxcopt his own. "Oh/ replied tho lad. "that won't do, for I wanled ono with brains;" "You bavo o flno cllmato here," said tho visitor to a JRothcsay man; "such bracln...
Tocumwal Race Club. [Newspaper Article] — Tocumwal Guardian and Finley Free Press — 11 September 1908
. Tocumwal Race Club. At a Committee meeting of the above held at Staples' Hotel on Sat urday last, it was decided, after a considerable amount of discussion, that the President and Secretary of the Jockey Club and the Vice Presi dent and Secretary of the .Race Club, meet the trustees of the Race Course with a view of getting a re duction of present charga for the use of the course which was considered prohibitive. It was also decided that the money collected from C. Rohan for the Deniliquiu Race Club be handed over to that Club. . The secretary was instructed to notify all members that ,the annual general meeting would be held 011 Saturday the 24th' October when the advisability of altering the date of the summer meeting will be dis cussed. | -- I
A TELL TALE. [Newspaper Article] — Tocumwal Guardian and Finley Free Press — 11 September 1908
A TELL TALE. The American tourist is generally sweh a "rusher" that be returns home with the utmost extraordinary jumble of ''information" concerning the places he visits." sOncc a gentleman: was .walking along a street in Manchester when a .lady and gentleman (evidently from across the water) accosted him with the remark; ."Can you direct us to "Walker's Art Gallery, please?" The gentleman, being familiar only with? the one in Liverpool, yet thinking there might be one in Manchester of which he Avas not aware, replied that 'he did not know of such a place in .Manchester, but that he knew there was one in Liverpool of that name. T-he Americans looked at each oth er in surprise and exclaimed, "Why, isn't this Liverpool?"
Hic et ubique [Newspaper Article] — Tocumwal Guardian and Finley Free Press — 11 September 1908
Hie et ubique On Saturday last a branch of -the/M.U.I.O.O.F. was officially tj.,unopened at Clear Hills. '^!por Bronohial concha tako / .' . ' j ' "Wooda" GroifcPoitpermiukwuro. 1b flu. The jerilderie-Urima coachhorses ' bolted a week ago, arid despite the efforts of the driver the mails were delivered 10 minutes before schedule time. The "Independent" expresses ..regret that the horses do not bolt oftner. y Mr Frank Soti-iiom, tlic iraiialar mil-HMimi r&lt;>;>rc, , renting Mo-5'rs Uenlrtui HouJihawptoii. Q. "writes s "I foulthurit is my ditty fc:t\vurds oriief sufferer1* to to1.! oi niv experience with Ohambor aln'ecou^h re* if* b\ I 1i.k! b very bad attune of in llucrazn. this \v.ijt, .Vintor iva V wis fori'.eil to lay wji for - several daytJ. A fallow ttavt»H6r u-dvhcl mo to fry CUatabetlaitt'8 cougii remedy ;uvd I found. UU ndvice jroved good, for in a fe\y (layn utter I shirked to take itl-w».4 comijfetoly cured rind \\"i« out 6U the road again. I ifn-l c-'nt >...
MORE AGRICULTURAL IMMIGRANTS. [Newspaper Article] — Tocumwal Guardian and Finley Free Press — 11 September 1908
MORE AGRICULTURAL IMMIGRANTS. IT was in the midst of" a' heavy down- 1 liottr that the lino Archibald Currio ! liner 41 J tonus" drew alongside tho wharf with a largo number of Uritishcrs on board. These men for the most part have spent a few years:in .South Africa, and, owing to the depression there, have come over to try their fortunes in this State. u Things should brisk up after this rain 1" - was the first salute tho oliicer from tho Intelligence Depart ment received as he stepped amongst a stalwart batch of young men down aft. Every n'ewcomer was anxious to know what demand for labour there j was in our country districts, and if 1 men who were good riders and drivers, and also had a slight acquaintance with sheep and cattle, had much chance of getting a job. They seemed to greatly appreciate tho kindness of the Uovern I ment in sending an ofiicer to help them I on their way with advice as to whero j suitable lodging may bo obtained, and as to the stare of the country. Thero is...
Advertising [Newspaper Article] — Tocumwal Guardian and Finley Free Press — 11 September 1908
BLACK TURPIN. To STAND t3»b skahon atNumuiikau a 'hk aur.nouNDiKd nisTurcrs. GOVERNMENT CERTIFICATE AT COBRAM, 1008. RoiuHtor or Clcavolaucl. By Dick Turphi, Dam llouost Roeo B LACK TURPIN, who tea ticnntiful jot btnek with commanding appoarmico, pcrfccfc ntvJo ami action, stands 10 hands won foaled in Tasmania 1001. "When in show condition is tho beau ideal of the American harnews borwo. Ifo has won-Jn/myprjzoHln Tannnnia, including1 Mio Dem sfor Cup. also a prziotafcorafc "Whittlcsoa lastiyoar. His sploudhl upihiudiuj? appearance, couplcd with his solid toundatiou of ituraea«o bono and inuscJo, his' proKmiy turn out extremely well for buggy, dolivery and Indian horses, which now command extro: 1 ' ' profci J TERSra : : .* £i is, I £1 10^ ati curl of season, bilmco whoti mares I provo ia foul. Concessions in i'Io to mures not in . foftl. fonud for inures from ft ilffltnnco all care taken Imt no responsibility. Slates uol'l or oxclianpod to bo lnlfl for as if in "foal. Marca mot wli...
TAKEN AT HIS WORD. [Newspaper Article] — Tocumwal Guardian and Finley Free Press — 11 September 1908
TAKEN AT HIS WiORD. /Patrick Sweeney, Esq., was a self made man. He ,\vas as bald as a bil liard ball,and,besides trying to impress everyone with a sense of his-import ance, he treated his employees with little courtesy. .One day lie walked into bis officc bent on venting his wrath on the ilirst person with whom lie came in con tact. The .first thing Miat attracted unfavourable attention was a .piece of lly-paper on his desk. "Here," he asked, addressing his 1 typist, "what is this doing here?" | "Why, you told me to put it there j yesterday," retorted the typist. S "Well, take it away," .ordered I Sweeney ,gruffly. i i **13ut where shall I put it? " | "I don't -give a 'hang," said Sween ey, stamping his foot angrily, "so long as you put it where I can\ see : ill "? ' * . | The typist, whose proportion of Ir ish blood was eq.ual to that of her employer, .picked up the ^offending fly paper, balanced it a brief moment thoughtfully 011 one hand, and then slapped it carefully on the bac...
LADY EXPERT'S ADDRESS. [Newspaper Article] — Tocumwal Guardian and Finley Free Press — 11 September 1908
LADY EXPERT'S ADDRESS. "Tho Art of Butter-Making," was tho subject of nn address delivered by an ' American Ipdy expert recently. She f explained that the secret of success in butter-making depends largely on clean i liness from start to finish; healthy cows, fed on wholesome food, lcept in a well ventilated stable, with plenty ol light and sunshine. Milking should be done as cleanlly and at as regular Intervals as possible, the milk thoroughly strained and separated immediately after milk ing. Care should be taken to raise speed on separator gradually up to the number of revolutions stamped on tho crank, and speed should be maintained at tills during tho operation of separat ing. Set tne cream screw so as to havts tho cream delivered from the separator at about 30 per cent, butter fat, which will bo about one pound of eream to 10 pounds of milk. Cool tho cream as soon as eeparatlng is completed, being care ful not to mix warm cream with tho previous lot until cooled. Cream should, ...
Advertising [Newspaper Article] — Tocumwal Guardian and Finley Free Press — 11 September 1908
PEROY MEILLQN,. Solicitor, &c., JERfLDERIE. .Commissioner for Taking Affidavits in New South Wales and Victoria. "Will visit Fiulc.v nii.l Tocmuwal ,011 Jlnntlily Court D.ivjj' (I'm/ey T.hiu*&lt;k:y, Toemuvvitl tfcMiiy, .?following -ud Meiul:iy;, and when required.'. Trust Moneys to Lend on h proved security tu ftny amount «t lowest current nitc's of ifitert'st. ' ARCHIBALD C. TUTHILL,. Solicitor &c., ATTENDS Tocuimval everj' Thursday Afternoon and will re main for regular Court days. . .. Commissioner for Affidavits for-. New South Wales. lKacI&lt;eiiziei'ro(Ixrs Stock Station and, Financial -Agents and Auctioneers,'etc. DENIL1QU1N & JERILDERIE. ' Stock Lists 011 application. .* . Clearing and Special'Sal£sconduc: tedinaiiy part of the Districts :-Fin ley, Berrigan, jerilderie, Tocumwal Moatntf, Mathoura., Barbara, Moula meiii, and Deniliqiiii;. (H. LLOYD, Auctioneer.) CAMPBELL c67 AUCTIONEERS jSTOMURKAH (Vic), and TOCUMWAL. ?Regular Stock Sa...
Advertising [Newspaper Article] — Tocumwal Guardian and Finley Free Press — 11 September 1908
SOMETHING REALLY NEW! THE CROP MAKER, v >? ? . ; ' -P -... . . _.. ? ,. - . Take a -good look at this Cultivator, it's the . £6 g fi' \'t H . j. »C' >v^~ .** ' )i\ i*'- ' ' -J.&lt; C T 1 - j. PATENTED AND. MANUFACTURED BY . '? ' at His Steam Imolement Works, FINLEY, NEW SOUTH WALES.; .. . v Write to him*for full-particulars of the Imperial "Ideal" Disc Cultivator'and copies of Testimonials from practical farmers, Did you ever see a better proportioned or more simple-looking Implement ? It, is just as good as . it looks. It is made right,-.works right, and is not , an untried experiment. It has a record UN SURPASSED by any like tool on the market. Its praises are sounded from all parts'of the State-m . fact frpm many other State*, crs, -.» , ^ ^ . The "IDEAL " is built of iron and steel, well braced up and stayed, and is mounted on|'three . massive iron wheels. It is practically indestructible. Send a post card to J. T. CLOSE, Finley, N.S.W.', for full particulars and t...
PRINTERS' AMALGAMATION. [Newspaper Article] — Tocumwal Guardian and Finley Free Press — 11 September 1908
PRINTERS' AMALGAMATION. Endeavors are being made (writes the London "Dally News" of 10th June) to effect an amalgamation of the various trade unions which exist throughout the kingdom in connection with the typo graphical and allied occupations. The Typographical Association, which has 19,0Q0 members, has just expressed ap- | proval of the projcct, and it has also been formally approved by the London! Socicty of Machine Minders and the! Bookbinders' Socicty. Other organlaa-' tions which It Is proposed to include In the scope of ..the scheme arc the Lon-1 don Society of Compositors, tho Scottish. Typographical Society, and the Society! of Paper Cutters. The amalgamate:] | body would havo a membership of 50,000, and accumulated funds exceeding' L100.000. w ._ ^ u |
WHY A CAT FALLS ON ITS FEET. [Newspaper Article] — Tocumwal Guardian and Finley Free Press — 11 September 1908
W.HY A CAT FALLS ON ITS FEET. A Frenchman, of an ingenious Inrn of mind, ilias constructed an experi mental model in order to show why a cat always falls on its feet, lie, ' came to know that it is one of the laws of mechanics that a body or a system of forces cannot set itself in rotation as a whole. 'II one part of it begins to rotate another part must rotate in a reverse direction as a compensatory force. .A simple ex ample of this is furnished by the ex periment of twirling an oar in the rowlock of a boat (without allowing the oar to touch the water); t'liL boat will begin to rotate in a direction op posite to that of the rotatory oar. Now at.lirst sight it might appear that the cat ddied this law of mechanics, since in falling it»seems always able to rotate its body so that its feet come undermost. Hut the French man, M. llartman, sJhows reason for supposing that a cat is really an cxaiu "'e of compensatory rotation. He has j made a .model of a .primitive ca«t« put* | of cardbo...
A REMAKABLE STORY. PASTOR'S TRAGEDY: [Newspaper Article] — Tocumwal Guardian and Finley Free Press — 11 September 1908
A EEMAKABIE STORY. PASTOR'S TRAGEDY: The Rev. Valentine Strauss, for flfteer years the venerated pastor of the Gcr* man Evangelical Church at Hermann, Missouri, was shot dead by twelve in furiated members of his congregation last night Immediately after their dis covery that. he was insane (said the "Daily Mail's" New York correspondent on 22nd June), It was the clergyman's wife who re vealed the fact that the clergyman was a homicidal maniac. She noted with alarm the Intensity of his religious fer vor in recent months, and how he had taken to the streets appealing to all'the men to join his church. Acting on the belief that since tho people could net be won by kind deeds they must be sent to heaven without de lay, he secretly roamed the country at night, hiding behind trees, and shooting at all - -men, wo men and children - who passed. Fortunately his aim was very erratic, and his shots generally went wide, but a score of people In all were wounded. The inhabitants were terrorised ...
TOMMY'S LIMITATIONS. [Newspaper Article] — Tocumwal Guardian and Finley Free Press — 11 September 1908
TOMMY'S LIMITATIONS. "Tommy," said his teacher, "the words 'circumstantial evidence' occur in this lesson. Do you know what circumstantial evidence is? Tommp replied that lhe did not. "Well, I will explain it to you uy an illustration. You know we have a rule against eating apples in school. Suppose some morning I should sec you in your seat with a book held up in front of your face. I say nothing but presently I go round to where you arc sitting. You are busily studying vonr lesson, but find turn your 'face is smeared, while under the edge of your slate I see the core of a freshly eaten apple. "I should know, just as well as if I had caught you at it, that you had been eating an apple, although, ui .course, ,1 did not sec you do it. That is a ease in which circumstantial evi dence convicts, you. -Do you think you know what it is now?" &lt;'Yes, ma'am," said Tommy. "It's eating apples in school,"
TOILET HINTS. UNDUE BATHING. [Newspaper Article] — Tocumwal Guardian and Finley Free Press — 11 September 1908
TOILET HINTS. UNDUE BATHING. Many women,,' nnd more especially young girls, spoil their complexions and health by too frequent , bathing in tlie'sea. On the principle that one cannot have too much of a good thing, they soak themselves for hours in the sea, getting cbillcd and soddon. What should be an invigor ating tonic becomes a weakness. Bathe daily in the sea in summer by all means, if it suits you; but bathe with discretion. If you do, your skin will become firm and beautiful, your eyes bright and shining, and your whole frame invigorated, alert, and braced-up. Itemember, salt water docs not strike so cold to the skin as fresh water does, so a lower temperature may safely bo indulged in. Only very strong women and girls should bathe in the sea before break fast. To prevent a weary, dragged look and prematura wrinkles, a wo | man who values her looks should bathe two hours after breakfast. ! * WHEN NOT TO BATHE. 4 I Should you feel any chiltaess in tbo [ water, accompanied by nu...
THE LADIES' COLUMN. HOMELY FARE. [Newspaper Article] — Tocumwal Guardian and Finley Free Press — 11 September 1908
THE LADIES' COLUMN. ; HOMELY FARE. St. Ncots Pudding.-Required: Six ounces of*breadbrumbs, four ounccs of beef suet, four ounces of sugar, six ounces of sour chopped apples, a table spuonful of treacle, the grated rind of a lemon, a little mixed spice, two eggs, half a tcacupful of milk, soino apple jelly. Mix the breadcrumbs, suet, sugar sour apples all together, add the treacle, lemon rind, and spice. Bind all to gether with two eggs beaten up in the milk. Turn into a greased mould, cover with greased paper, and steam from two hours and a half to three hours; Turn out to serve and pour round tho pudding some liquefied jelly. Prunes and Tapioca.-Required: Half a teacupfu! of tap/oca, half a pound of prunes, a salt-spoonful of salt, a table spoonful of lemon juice, half a cupful of sugar, one ounce of stoned raisins. Wash the tapioca, and soak' it over night in three tcacupfuls of cold water. Wash the prunes also, and soak in cold water. In the morning put the tapiooa and water in a...
SUDDENLY ENRICHED. [Newspaper Article] — Tocumwal Guardian and Finley Free Press — 11 September 1908
SUDDENXY ENRICHED. A contributor to tho "Dally News" tells how a peer found himself enriched owing to the forgetfulness of his father. The nobleman referred to, who has been a Cabinet Minister, sent three boxes of plate to his bankers for safe Custody, and askod for a receipt. It was not the custom of the house to give such acknowledgments, so tho peer went to satisfy himself as to tho safe arrival of his valuables. The porter took him to tho strong room arid re marked, "Here are your four chests, my lord." "I only forwarded three," re plied tho peer. But tho official pointed out that all four boxes bore the noble man's name, and at last it was resolved to have tracod in the books how the fourth chest was in safe keeping. It was then discovered that it had been sent to tho bank fifty years before by the peer's father, who, apparently, had overlooked tho matter, and never claimed his property.
THE CLUB-ROOT DISEASE, A DESCRIPTION OF IT. REMEDIAL MEASURES. [Newspaper Article] — Tocumwal Guardian and Finley Free Press — 11 September 1908
THE CLUB-ROOT DISEASE, A DESCRIPTION OP IT. 0 ' REMEDIAL MEASURES. ' One of the worst diseases that cabbage growers In this State# hove to contend with Is that known hs club-root. It is in existence in almost^ovcry part of tlio world, where vegetabic-grow-log is car ried on, ana the following orticlc taken from "Irish Gardening" is interesting, and instructive: "Club-root is a very troublesome disease In cabbage, turnip, and other cruciferous crops. It begins with tiny swellings on the roots of the young: plants, and qs the plants grow bigger tind bigger the swellings enlarge mora and more. At last, when the affected parts. of the roots have attained an enormous size, tliey gradually die, an&lt;l then rapidly -puss into a mass of soft putrescent matter. r "What is the cause of this? "What ex cites the root to such extraordinary growth, and why docs it all end in the early and rapid decay of the affected parts? The- cause is a particular kind of fungus that enters the plant t...