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Advertising [Newspaper Article] — Berwick Shire News and Pakenham and Cranbourne Gazette — 3 June 1914
A NEW STORY Of great interest Enttled ABROTHER'S LOVE By Graham Brown, Will be Commenced Next Week. WELSBACH THE WORLY'S BEST FOR COUNTRY LIGHTING. Air Gas Machines. 'Che WV~ibnbch A:ir Gas ,l.a chine hs no ??m ;ln that a child can work it with iyrunlty, Suitable tfor Ligftin?', IHeat Ing and Cook ing. We guar antec ent~ifac ti?on with all our MachInes, and to prove this we will iput a mnchlne in for one month free of charge, and If not bult able, will remove name free of all cost to you. Writo for Catalogue. WELSBACH LIGHT COMPANY OF AUSTRALASIA LIMITED, 580 LONSDALE ST.. tPLBOURNE. WO N'T SiMRINK WOOLLENS Lux for Woolinns. Lux for F=rnels. Lax for Biuse~s Lax for DaLnty Fabrica. Lux for Sxampotng.w iLux for WSshing Silver & Cut!ery I vrr Brothers L:mitoo Sy~dny. I?'? ?"°?°°'?'? F / T O I I NTOR PATENTS Obtained in Commonwealth and Else where for improved methods of Appli ances. Tools, etc., of any description. Full Information, Costs, etc., sent on sppllcatlon to A. O. BAC...
Amusements of Lunatics. [Newspaper Article] — Berwick Shire News and Pakenham and Cranbourne Gazette — 3 June 1914
Amusements of Lunatics. There are many interesting, ii withal distressing sights . to b lit ut-sed in the daily round of a altrg lunatic asyllinl, such as one of the runty etstabilishmenlts. Not the least is the many difflerent ways in which the intmates seek to amuse tIcmSel5c es, apart from the fornms of recreation provided by the autho-: rities. A visitor to a Lancashire - county asylunt describes what he witnessLed there. There was one. oId gentleman of venerable appearance,. who had be-.. come insane through the' shock caused by the failure of a company in which all his fortune was invest ed, who spent all the day in fly ing a huge kite, in which he seemed to ·take as great .a delight zas any ten-3ear-old boy.- On the visitor asking himn whether he nevsr got tiredl of this pursuit, he answered that he did it, not to amuse hiilm self, hut In order to -preserve his bodily vigour, for; he gravely ex plalinteI.' the kite attmeracted elcttri city, which, in its turn, was cont lducte...
AN ABSENT-MINDED MAN. [Newspaper Article] — Berwick Shire News and Pakenham and Cranbourne Gazette — 3 June 1914
AN ABSENT-MINDED MAN. She is a Kensington gill, and has recently married the dearest fellow in the world; She is fully aware of the latter fact; nor. does she hesitate to mentfon it to her friends; Indeed, so recent Is-her marriage that some of her acquaintances have not yet had a~ chance to meet the most charming of his sex. Brief as the time has been, however, it has yet been long enough for her to discover that her husband is absent minded. The other day she- was expecting a girl' friend, to lunch with her and.l make the acquaintance of this para gon. The guest, however, failed to make her- appearance, though a cars ful search of the husband's pockets failed to. reveal the note of invitation. It was a rainy day, and late in the afternoon the now-despaired-of guest made her appearance, wet and dishev elledr. "What' onr earth is- the matter?" cried. the bride; '"You poor thing, you are' dripping, wet, and you have misa ed. meeting-Fred?" "INm awfully sorry,"' replied the guest, "bu...
LADIES' COLUMN. SHOULD OLD LOVE-LETTERS BE KEPT? [Newspaper Article] — Berwick Shire News and Pakenham and Cranbourne Gazette — 3 June 1914
LADIES' COLUMN. SHOULD OLD LOVE-LETTERS BE KEPTf Stould old love-letters be kept? Most people would say if asked the question. "If you're unmarried, keep them;. if you're married, destroy them most decid dly." In other and plainer words, if you are unmarried, you can do as you like. If you are married,.you can't if you want peace. A love-lette? is sure to be read sooner or later,'however carefully you may hide it; however emphatically your may deny its existence. This is one- reason why married geople should nut keel old love-letters--they are sure to le found. The- next ls oelvi ous. -A woman can't forgive a. rival, and a man whll not.. It is unreasonable- really, but there it is, and you have to accept things as they are in this life. Itis unreas onable of the man,. because if lie comes to think about it, a vanquish ed host adds glory to himself, but he is still afraid- the other man, wilt cut him out. Not being sentimental himself, he, can't believe she kept the. old love letters...
LOVE'S ARITHMETIC. [Newspaper Article] — Berwick Shire News and Pakenham and Cranbourne Gazette — 3 June 1914
LOVE'S ARITHMETIC. He was teaching her arithmetic, lie said that was his mission; Efe kissed her once, he kissed her twice. Hie said, "Now that's addition;" And so he added smack to smack In silent satisfaction, Till timidly she gave him one back, And whispered, "That's subtrac tion." But pa appeared, he raised his foot, And snorted with decision; He kicked poor John ten yards away, And said, "That's long division."
LEILA AND HER LOVER Published by Arrangement with Ward, ck and Co. Ltd., Lond. and Melb. All Rights Reserved. II. [Newspaper Article] — Berwick Shire News and Pakenham and Cranbourne Gazette — 3 June 1914
EEILA AND HER LOVER Dy MAX PEMDBERTON. Published by Arrangement with Ward, IC and Co. Ltd., Lond. and Melb. All Rights Reserved. IL Hugh saw the great steamer put about for Southampton, and he watched Mat come out of the opera tor's room. An. Impulsive exclama .tioe called the Irishman to his side. The- hour for .subterfuge had gone. "Well, old chap, is the doctor aboard?" "No. he Is not on board." "What made you. thina- he would come via Cherbourg, .Mat," "What the priest told me-and- my commonsense." "You. thought he would_ set out Im mediately?" "I was sure of it." "Because- of their friendship." - "Man, ye know better-'twas for the sake of. the little girt " "Then the priest agrees that he: was In love with her?" "As mad in love as the other.. I'd be the same myself if she were 'n this boat another day or two." "Whtt will we do now, Mat?" "Cable to America, and say we're taking the child on to London." "I don't believe she'll go, Mat." "Ah, then, 'tis precious little, ye know of...
Hoaxing the British Navy. [Newspaper Article] — Berwick Shire News and Pakenham and Cranbourne Gazette — 10 June 1914
Hoaxing the British Navy. - 4- In LtGit; a Spanish oficr in uni frm Lr:nentt'le himself aIt t.h main Z.gate of t)'rtnm ollth DloNtard, and askedc for the C'ooninLandlr-in-Chicf, ito wh m he twas conduc'lteid. With mnally a)tlegiei)tie he txplninel that 11he ?s front a. Spantlih cruiser at Cowes. T'here ens ;ni'shipmnn on hoard i er,- ill. Wold ItEngtlatd Ixtent! to thi uinfirtiiunate Iatient the co;urte:iy of her nnaval hospittl ? (tf i'urne t, everything waii at once ujona. Instructins nero telatlhontted to the Sliotar Itonstital for the rocrptitt If the nick otitehitinman, and "it h niany thtlutiKS the tnih alt lif left, etcorted Iy a lieuteitant to Co.P him to the Ioait, which, ht sit, wans meeting him. No taiat ras isible, howe· or, and after caniting boite tittet t)ic hocitaltle lieutanait inti- t ni t hat the. Spaitiath i flic.r slhutd return to thit ticrtnte and part.tke if dinner. 'this ha aigr-ed to doi, antlI hald I right rs tl timnte, furthermnlrtc Iorrownig £1, .a ing( t...
Crisp Toasts. [Newspaper Article] — Berwick Shire News and Pakenham and Cranbourne Gazette — 10 June 1914
Crisp Toasts.. A rather cynical toast runs thtus : "Women-she requires no eulog?r; she speaks for herself." A gallant young man, in the same lestal circumstances; referred to one mnember of the sex he eulogised as "a delectable dear, so sweet that honey would blush in her presence and molasses stand appalled.'" At the miarriage 'supper of a dleaf and dumb couple one goest, in the speech of the evening, wished them "unspeakable bliss." A writer of comndles was giving a banquet in honour of his latest work, at which a Jovial guest gave *he toast: "The author's very good health i May he live to be. as old as his jokes." At another gathering were thaste.l "The Bench and the lar ! If it were not for the har, there would be little urse for the bench." As pithy was the following toasb. Iroposed at ar shoomnaker' dinner: "May we have all the women in the country to shos, and all the men to boot."
His Revenge. [Newspaper Article] — Berwick Shire News and Pakenham and Cranbourne Gazette — 10 June 1914
His Revenge. A master butcher gave his ssles man° a week's notice, and now he wishbes he had paid him off at once. A lady came into the shop the day after he received notice of his discharge, and was shown a loin of mutton. . "I'm afraid that. is rather to heavy for me," she remarked. "'I think not, mlum," replied the man. "You see, the poor animal died of rapid consumption and fever, and consequently--" But the lady had fled, and he replaced the joint with a grin ci satisfaction,. "Sausages, sir ? Certainly," he remarked, to another customer. "We hiive the very best. Ever since the .tizzling., oder has -been in fdrce we--" Buf he, too, had fled. And with a sweet, revengeful smile, the salesman hung them on the hook again and waited for the next.
The Soundograph. [Newspaper Article] — Berwick Shire News and Pakenham and Cranbourne Gazette — 10 June 1914
The Soundograph. A veritable box of tricks is a new&lt; instru?llent a'lled a soundo graph, which flurnishes all the sound effects usIl in conjfnct;on with the operation of moving-pi.ture rla. chines. P'rnducing the sour.ds which take place in real life, it adds to the realism of the scenes cepicted on the screen. Dy operating twenty-seven different devices, fifty-four effects can be produced with it, amnong them the tramuping or running of horses, a thunderstorm, the wash of the sorf, rain, wind, , locomotive exhaust, train whistle, automobile, fire ap paratus in action, running water, crash olf glasJs or dishe., fall of heavy articles, the firing of arms from a single shot to a fusillade, and many othera. The instrument is :?ft. 6in. in height.
Too Great a Test. [Newspaper Article] — Berwick Shire News and Pakenham and Cranbourne Gazette — 10 June 1914
Too Great a Test. The professor was giving a lecture on phrenology, and had asked a boy to :;tepl forward to act as a sub jt., After a careful examination of tthe latn. cra;niu:, he turned to the aulienc', and said : "Ladlies anld entlemeniet. one pro tuh.r.lnc, ,n the bo 's he.ad is par oi,'c.hly w'll developed. It is tho h : '',,f philprogenitiiventes. In thi- c;ase it dtubtless proses that th" ,.atr lad hlis a deep affection fr his parento. Turnling to the boy, he asked, per selasively : I-nt that true, nmyv lad ?" The boy hesitated a moment before repl ittg. Then he hblurted out: "Please, sir, I likes mulvver all right; but I ain't sure of fearver." "Why. mny lad, how is that ?" asked the professor. "Well, sir, if you nmust know." finished thle lad. "that-there bump as you're a-feeling of is where farver hit Ine last night with the buckle end of his belt."
Home-made Vise. [Newspaper Article] — Berwick Shire News and Pakenham and Cranbourne Gazette — 10 June 1914
Home-made Vise. An ordinary monkey wrench that has been discarded is used in miak ing this 'ise. The wrernch is sup ported by two L-shaped pieces of iron, fastened with a rivet through the end jaw, and these in turn are bolted or screwedl to the bench. T'he handle end is held down writh a staple. The inside jaw is used in clampting and is operated ~;ith the thumb screw of the wrench. Two holes bored through the thumb A Sivel fench Vise pi)ce will greatly f;cilitate settinlg up the ae s tightly t ,SIling a I mlul rod in the holes as a l.wer. Thre iisclt. m e madtle lute a 'ning .it ii the wrerich it tllliontel on on arilr ii h?h ii Stittig on .1 htlt at olie elu ant held with a piii at. thi otltcr ais shown in the illtiutra tion. Various holes borel in tihe tIellch onl an arc will piermit the board to Ie set at any angle. A Deionshire Indy once nent to her :oll a tailr if trouIteris hy Look pout, whicli i o)f (.otI'ue, clettiller thaln Iparcel tlost. 'The pontat olticiialt wrou t' ht...
An Audacious Postmaster. [Newspaper Article] — Berwick Shire News and Pakenham and Cranbourne Gazette — 10 June 1914
An Audacious Postmaster. ~-4- He was a postmaster, and rats in his olice were playing havoc, with the letters and postal packets; so he. vrote to his chief, and his chief wrote to lhis chlef, and so th?e irt;. ter went on till about six months later, when he was older and greyer, he received . oficial permnission to keep a -couple of cats and provide for their cost in milk. Tor a nlontb, all went well; but then he nabs compelled to forward to headquarters this ominons ,mres sage :; "I hate the honour to inform you the senior cut is 'absent without leave. \What shall I do 7" .. The rats were busy.v again, and it was impossible to wait another six months, so he took the matter in his own strong hands, and wrote: "Re absent cat. I have promoted the Junior cat, and have taken into Covernment service a probationary Cat-on full rations." The "powers that be" are still marvelling at his audacity.
BERWICK SHIRE COUNCIL. [Newspaper Article] — Berwick Shire News and Pakenham and Cranbourne Gazette — 10 June 1914
BEtWIlCK SiPt GOUUGIL. The ordinary '-o-'hly meetinm of the local co? tll was held on Saturday list. -.; the follow ing mem'er a re present : Crs James. Ma;n, Bnarr, Sharp, h'Beckett, Cle, O. Lre. Carney, Fahey and Sme: hurst. In the absence of the Presi dent, Cr James ,vas voted to the chair. FINANCE. Accounts amounting to £6i17 9s were passed for payment. CORRESPONDENCE. From D. Ryan, Gembroo!k, re the bad condition of the road from Herd's to Taylor's, -Clerk of works to replrt, on the motion of Crs James and Martin. Erom rA. R. a!l,. Nar Nar Goon, drawing attention to the advisabiiity of sanding the road between the 5 and 7 mile drains. -Work to be done, on the motion of Crs Carney and Fahey. From W. thomas and Sons, seeking permission to clear ,he road adjoining their pronerty at Tynong.-Permission granted, on the motion of Crs Dore and Close. From Mrs Quigley, complain ing that Mr Toner had not com plied with an order given by the council to remove a fence that had been erected...
Cart Without an Axle. [Newspaper Article] — Berwick Shire News and Pakenham and Cranbourne Gazette — 10 June 1914
CGart Without an Axle. -4--~- STho boy who has a couple of cart wheels. is not alwnas lucky enough to have an nxle of the proper length to fit the wheel5. In such wanl· Pntsntd to ~M Bo· a case the cart cnn be constrluctedl as shown in the illustration. 'Thlis cart has no axle, ench wheel being attached with a short pin for an axle, on the side and at the Iower edge of the box. The outer end of the pin is carried on a piece of srood *extending the full length of the box and supported by cross pieces nailed to the ends, as shown.
Advertising [Newspaper Article] — Berwick Shire News and Pakenham and Cranbourne Gazette — 10 June 1914
For Cbaonie Cbort Cony1ainos ~Wodod Great Pd~pprmint Uor~o-J 16. :o Br~3CuEhial C~rgha tdlo kG - Waodb' Great Peppermint Czre-t16D. for ,"~~~dCGU~"~hB~*rid Co1d ev fiaI/6 S THE Rev. J. HOSKING] Minister of the CONGRE8ATIONAL MISSION CHURCH, Fizroy, talbhurne. Sends his opinlon of GLEME TS " I was recommended to try Clements Tonic I was completely run down, suffered from nervous prostralton, with insomnia and severe headaches. I had spent much money on medicines to no purpose. "One bottle pwt me right and was worth its weight in golr "I recommend this medi cine strongly. (s(4Ced) JOHN HOSKING." The Rev. J. HOSKING, D.D., in known as an earnest church worker. and his testimosyto CLEMENTSTONIC was sent for the good it might do, This medicane is certainm in its efects on run down or irritated nsvee. and quickly relieves Biliouosness. Weokes,. L.os of Sleep. Poor Appetie. Conlstpetion and Indigestion. ALL CHEMISTS an STORES SELL IT. - Msls Primanprude lispod to her lodger, " Minter Barke...
What Martial Law Means. [Newspaper Article] — Berwick Shire News and Pakenham and Cranbourne Gazette — 10 June 1914
What Martial. Law Means. The great Duke of Wellington voiced the clue to what happened in South Africa when hie said : "'Martial law nians no law at all. hut the will of the general till th: ordinary laic c'nb ll either hei..tabli-h ed or restored.' Even in tileas of peauce all iillllls a re n m r, n ? a rn. . : ..? wI - , r to' ru ni h tary law, inasomuch a for llgiti rate sale or near of .rnu"I uII forms or medals they ciould ,e pro cedede against, to say notlting if their oblligations under the Arlmy Billeting Act. But under strict imanrtial law a commander may order a curfew l)eIl to ring, after which hour any in habitant found witli a light in his hotuse or in the streets would be liable to arrest. Looters are shot at sight. Publicans and others hold their licences only subiject ¶o the whimn of the military ccmnmander. and no one can either enter or leave a tow'n or attend a concert or meeting of uany sort writhout a pass signed by the colniaindant. This has. to )ie producedl t...