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Stubbornness of Pat. [Newspaper Article] — Foster Mirror and South Gippsland Shire Advocate — 28 January 1915
Stubbornness of Pat. Patrick O'Rourke hud the misfor tune one day of falling from the sec ond .storey of a house just being com pleted. iMike Flaherty, the foreman, saw him fall and immediately called an ambulance, which in due course of time arrived. The surgeon gave one glance toward the still form and said: "He's dead." Pat, who was coming- to, heard him and, rising to a sitting posture, re plied: "You're a liar! I ain't!" Mike was standing close by, and look hold of Pat, gently saying: "Lay down, Pat, the doctor knows better."
Inside Information. [Newspaper Article] — Foster Mirror and South Gippsland Shire Advocate — 28 January 1915
Inside Information. "Uin, yes! All! IJm!" remarked the medico in his best bedside man ner to his patient, as they stood in the consulting-room. "I'll give you the following prescription." And he handed liim the small packages. The patient opened them and read the directions. "A powder for my headache," he said aloud, "a pellet for my liver," lie continued, "and a capsule for my gouty foot." Then he stopped and pondered deeply for a moment. "I say, doctor," lie queried, "liow'll the little beggars know the right place to go when they get inside?"
Married in Haste. [Newspaper Article] — Foster Mirror and South Gippsland Shire Advocate — 28 January 1915
Married in Haste. Housewives who find the servant problem a source of endless •worry may set some consolation from the fact that in no country is the matter a perfectly simple one. Miss Evelyn Adam, in "Behind the Screens," in ■Taipan, describes some of the difficul ties of keeping servants in that coun try. The maidservants are untrust worthy, but they are gentle and cheap—while they stay. Unfortun ately they are fond of playing the vanishing trick upon their mistresses. A lady in Tokio had a valuable ser vant of somewhat mature years, who rejoiced in the poetic name of "Oh aru San"—the Honorable Miss Spring. One day at teatime Miss Spring did not appear. The kitchen was deserted, the kettle was cold: half the luncheon plates lay im mersed in a bowl of soapy water, the other half stood on the sink, ready to be put away. The next morning Oharu San reap peared, and demanded the fragment of wages due to her since the begin ning of the month. The lady asked why she was leaving so sudde...
Mistaken Idea. [Newspaper Article] — Foster Mirror and South Gippsland Shire Advocate — 28 January 1915
Mistaken Idea. While Patrick was on his way homo lie decided to take a short cut. across Farmer Watson's hay lield. lie had reached the middle of the field when he was startled by an awful roar behind him, and, looking over his shoulder, saw the farmer's prize bull rushing upon him like a cyclone. Taking to his heels, he ran for dear life. "If I can only make that fence," he said, as he tore along. Just as he got to the fence the bull got to him—with a perfect rear-end i collision. High, higher in the air wont the spinning Patrick, and on the descent he landed, in a bruised and punctured heap, on the other side of the fence. Clotting to his hands and knees, he faced the bull. It. was pawing and tearing up the ground at a great rate, whereupon Patrick smiled sadly and said: "Faith, if it was not for ver bowin' an' scrapin' and yer humble apolo gies, ye baste, I'd be t.hinkin' that ye chucked me over the fence intintion ally."
The Fortunate Mr. V. [Newspaper Article] — Foster Mirror and South Gippsland Shire Advocate — 28 January 1915
The Fortunate Mr. V. There is a theatrical magnate who is up 011 the needs of the tired busi ness man, ljut a little bit shy on gen eral education. In liis office they were discussing the prevalent hard times—theatrical and otherwise. "Well." he said, "there's one guy in this town that I envy. He's busy all the time. Everywhere I go 1 see people using his machines." "Who's thai?" inquired one of the company. "Wliy, this chap Vacuum, that makes all them patent cleaners!"
A Short Ride. [Newspaper Article] — Foster Mirror and South Gippsland Shire Advocate — 28 January 1915
A Short Ride. All old Irishwoman travelling on a train one day noticed that two young men who were fellow-passengers and who were travelling 011 passes did not pay. Turning to them, she said: "How does it come that you young men do not pay, while an old woman like me lias to pay?" "Oh," they explained, "we are tra velling on our looks." She looked from one to the other a few seconds, and then said: "Sure, and you must be near your journey's end."
FIXTURES. [Newspaper Article] — Foster Mirror and South Gippsland Shire Advocate — 28 January 1915
FIXTURES. Jan. 30—Toora v Foster Welshpool v Fifth Creok BenuUou a bye. Feb. 6—Foster v. Bennison Welshpool v Toora Fish Creek a bye. Feb. 13—Bennison v Welshpool Toora v Fish Creek Foster a bye. Feb. 20—Toora v. Bennison Fish Creek v. Foster Welshpool a bye. Feb. 27—Bennison vFisb Creek Welshpool v Foster Toora a bye. March 6—Foster v Toora Fish Creok v Welshpool Bennison a bye. Matches to be ployed on the ground of the first-named club. The Defence Department appear to have very strict regulations regarding the typo of recruits they will accept for active service, and men who possess all tbo qualifications—with one exception—are being ' rejected. Mr Roy Wbiteloy, of Toora, recently en listed and passed all the medic il and physical tests required, but on present ing himself at the barracks was in formed that he was half an inch de ficient in height. Roy, who was eager to serve the Empire, naturally felt keen disappointment at being rejected and it is to be regretted that men of bi...
HUMORS OF THE LAW COURTS. [Newspaper Article] — Foster Mirror and South Gippsland Shire Advocate — 4 February 1915
HUMORS OF THE LAW COURTS. Wonderful indeed is the oratory of counsel at times, but one would liave some difficulty, perhaps, ill finding a more amusing example of highfalu tin legal language than the following, which is quoted from "Law and Laughter": — "Slander, gentleman," said t lie learned counsel, in a libel action, "like a boa-constrictor of gigantic size and immeasurable proportions, wraps the coil of its unwieldy body about its iHiforhinate victim, ami. heedless of the shrieks of agony that come from the utmost depths of its victim's soul, loud and reverberating as the night thunder that rolls in the heavens, it finally breaks its unlucky neck upon the Iron wheel of public opinion: forciug him first to despera tion. then to madness, and finally crushing him in (he hideous jaws of mortal death." No less amusing was the address of the American Judge Itodgers to a prisoner who iiad been convicted in his court in Louisiana. "Prisoner, stand up!" lie said. ".Mr. Kettles, this cou...
THE FALKLAND ISLANDS [Newspaper Article] — Foster Mirror and South Gippsland Shire Advocate — 4 February 1915
THE FALKLAND ISLANDS By F. A, Newman. The sinking of the German cruisers Scharnhorst, C.snoisenau, Lelpsig and Nuernberg by the British Squadron under Vice-Admiral Sir Frederick Sturdee off the Falkland Islands, has brought into prominence a group of isjets which to most people have been terra incognita. Until the publication of the news announcing the British victory which has so adequately avenged the Chil ian disaster, how many grown-ups could have correctly located the Falk lands? Schoolboys and girls would, 110 doubt, have been abie to put their ciders right, but the fact remains that the inhabitants of this strange group, if not "the world forgetting," have almost been "by the world for got." The islands lie about 250 miles east of the southermost portion of Pata gonia, and N.E. of Cape Morn; or, more correctly speaking, in latitude 1 51 dog. to 52.31 deg. south, and long itude 57.10 deg. to G1.20 deg. west. In such an out-of-the-way corner of the world, with a somewhat inhosp...
CHAPTER IV. [Newspaper Article] — Foster Mirror and South Gippsland Shire Advocate — 4 February 1915
CHAPTER IV. So still did Lady Alicia stand, .so frozen was licr manner, that the girl's overcharged heart at once realised that something was •wrong. She drew away from her mother and trembled a little, and in that mo ment Lady Alicia becamo mistress of horsef again. "Why do yon rush at me in this ab surdly emotional manner?" she ask ed: "and what nonsense is this yon are talking?" Hvcry scrap of color faded out ol' •Margaret Torriiigloil's face. "1 thought von had seen daddy," she said. Krom purest, most splen did joy (a joy like tho golden glory of a hot sunshine) she felt plunged TnIo an icy atmosphere in which it was difficult to draw breath. "I've only just come in," said Lady Alicia. "I have not seen your father." She rang for her maid, and Mar garet stood trembling with fear and with a sensation of impending sor row, whilst her mother's maid was removing Lady Alicia's hat. Sundry little commands were given to the maid, and Margaret was seemingly ignored. When they were alone ...
On the Berlin Agenda. [Newspaper Article] — Foster Mirror and South Gippsland Shire Advocate — 4 February 1915
On the Berlin Agenda. The German Emperor dreams, it i.s suid, that just as Napoleon gave out crowns and kingdoms right, and left to his brothers, so will he, when he is master of Europe, set up all his sons as kings. France he intends,'I am told (says the London correspondent of the "Daily Despatch") as a king dom for his second son, Prince Eitel Fritz, who will be known as "Kouig von Frankreich." In Paris they are highly amused over this. Their an swer is, "We will talk about that in Berlin." The itinerant, photographer was very urgent. "A picture post card of your house, sir, with your family at the gate. Ualf-a-crown a dozen—you can't say that's unreason able." "Don't want any," said the house holder. "Just suppose your 'ouse was de stroyed by a Zeppelin, wouldn't it be a comfort to have a picture of your old 'ome?" The householder was hard-hearted enough to say that he would prefer a photograph after the destruction, for Hint would he readily saleable to Hie illustrated papers. ...
THE MIRROR. WITH WHICH IS INCORPORATED THE SOUTH GIPPSLAND SHIRE MAIL. THURSDAY, FEB. 4, 1915. [Newspaper Article] — Foster Mirror and South Gippsland Shire Advocate — 4 February 1915
THE MIRROR. i WITH WHICH 18 INCORPORATED TUB SOl'TH OIPrSLASI) SHIUK MAIL. THURSDAY, FEB. 4, 1915. The Trusters Executors it Agency Co. Ltd. of No. 412 Collins-street, Melbourne, is applying for Probate of the will and codicil of tho late Andrew Unger, of Fish Creek, licensed victu aller, who died on the 31st October last. The estate which is valued for Probate at £3558 5s. 1 Id., consisting of realty £2554 10s. and persoualty £1003 las. lid. is bequeathed to his daughter.* The following is a list of prices obtained for pigs forwarded by Mossrs A. W. G. M'Phorson and R, Thomas, Foster, t* M'Phail Bros, and Co., Melbourne :—F. Piona 1 pig £3 Is, Jas. Dickson 3 £6 15s, John Dickson 2 £4, A. Bakor 4 £7, M. Murdoch 3 £12 3s, Mrs Fidgo 1 £3 18a, F. A Bird 3 £6, H. Newman 2 £3 17s, G. Buckland 2 £9 7s, A. Tannahill 2 £7 4s, Long Bros. 3 £8 lis, J. Dodge 4 £9 10s, Joffrey Bros. 2 £8 13s, M. Jeffrey 2 £6 19s, W. Haskins 2 £3 2s, E. Quine 1 £15 18s, A. Gardiner 1 £3, Munro Bros. 1 £3 9s, R. ...
SUNSET AND DAWN (Published by arrangement with Ward, Lock & Co. Ltd., Lon. & Melb.) All Rights Reserved. CHAPTER III. [Newspaper Article] — Foster Mirror and South Gippsland Shire Advocate — 4 February 1915
SUNSET AND DAWN j(v ICKFI13 ADELAIDE ROWLANDS. (Published by arrangement with Ward, Lock it Co. Ltd., Lon. & .Mclb.) All Rights Reserved. CHAPTER III. Dolly Torrington slept very late the next morning. She had "given special orders that she was not to be roused for any reason whatever. .Margaret, 011 the contrary, rose un usually early. She had been too rest io?s, too excited, too nervous to sleep. Towards the dawn she had drop lied into a heavy kind of doze, but from this she had been roused with a jerk. Something had happened the night before which had shown Mar garet very clearly that the lack of •sympathy between her mother and herself, which she had so often de plored, was likely to become even more pronounced. In her charming, frank, girlish fashion she had done her best to help her mother make the ball a great success, very often standing aside to provide partners for other girls. As a matter of fact, though she had been so happy, .Margaret wanted to dance. She had lo...
The Clergyman Knew. [Newspaper Article] — Foster Mirror and South Gippsland Shire Advocate — 4 February 1915
The Clergyman Knew. Here is n good and true one; (if Kitchener's Army. During the recent, heavy rains the men returned one evening from a route march to find their tents inches deep in water. They were disconsolately surveying the scene when the vicar of the adjacent village hustled up and offered the use of his church as temporary sleep ing- (|uartcrs. The commanding olli cer thanked him, but remarked that he hardly liked the idea of using a sacred edifice for that purpose. "My dear sir," replied the good-natured cleric, "pray have no scruples on that point—not one of my parishioners ever has!"
South Gippsland Race Club SATISFACTORY ENTRIES. [Newspaper Article] — Foster Mirror and South Gippsland Shire Advocate — 4 February 1915
South Gippsland Kace Club SATISFACTORY ENTRIES. On Wednesday next the annurf meeting of the outh Gippsland Rsco Club will be held and favored with (jiu- weather one of the best meetings ever held on the course should result. The entries appearing below are good ami most encouraging for an excellent day's sport. The public are being well catered for and they should not over look the fact that this is the only rac® meeting in the district and one deserv ing of support in assisting to meet the expense involved, such as the char tering of special trains which have been arranged to leave Foster for Ivorum hurra and Port Albert after the meet ing. A luncheon and refreshment booth will be on the ground. Follow are the entries :— Maiden Plate. Lord Result 8st. 31b, Tom West 8.0, Greedy 8.0, Lady Pomader 7.9, Miss Frederick 0.9, Coreenas Daugh ter —r Cruiskeen Lawn —. Novelty Pony Ilace 14.2 to 13 h. Queen Royal 9.4, Greedy S.9, Decoy 8.0, Gyroscopc S 0, Flambeau 7.9, Hivinu 7.6, Tarwella 7....