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Scientific Notes [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 11 July 1885
-4------- Invalid? are now fed on baked niilk. The milk is put in a glass jar, covered with pa per on top, and baked ten hours in the oven. . t"'Th edicl'a 'Wortld eports a case, now under; observation, in which the spatient's°: hair--which had -becbme "pre'maturely grey -'is -slowly-returning' to`'its "original?'colorb under the internal administration of phos. phorized cod-liver oil. The World had pre viously noted similar restorations under the same treatment. A floor of paper has been made in a new' rink in Indianapolis. Straw boards are pasted and pressedstogether by a hydraulic press, and when seasoned they are sawed up into flooring, the edge of the paper form. ing the floor,;which is without joints. ' When sand-papered it becomes smooth: as ice, and is noiseless. M. Fordoz gives in Cosmos. a very simple and useful method of detecting lead in the tinning of culinary utensils. Thel vessel being carefully cleaned to remove grease, a drop of nitric acid is applied to any part, a...
Not Legal. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 11 July 1885
Not Legal. A well-known clergyman, .h..oi hsp'ne' of the largest congregations in:Ballarat;-as; well as the largest capacity to appreciate a' joke, relates that one day last. wee)k be rya called on to marry a couple. His catechism of the prospective bridegroom was satisfas - tory and he then turned his attention to the lady. "Have you ever been married ?" was asked. "Yes, sir." " Husband dead ?" '"No, sir." S'"Are you divorced ?" " N-no-not exactly, but I'm just as good as divorced. My husband left me, and went to. England; and, besides, we- never' paid `the minister for marryin' us ; so it ain't legal, is it."
Welcomed. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 11 July 1885
Welcomed. Bright flowers blooined on every side, Song birds trilled in ecstacy, Young Nellie came with steps of pride, For fair and beauitiful was she. Her heart was filled with love and bliss; He, her bright star, had home retuirned :Fromfar across.the'sea to kiss The maid for whom he yearned. A fond embrace, a winning smile, Was then her welcome; for her heart Was too full for words, and while Garessess passed 'twas not his part To break the silence, so he stood Receiving all her love could give, He wished,; he was in merry mood, That he could that way always live. Her face was hidden in his vest, She nestled there as though to stay, No words had hi as yet expressed, For he dbild think of nought to say. His silence quite surprised her, so :Up at his face she took a peep, And fainted dead away, for, oh, She'd kisseid and hugged the chimney sweep. " Outstripped by a Woman," is the head line of a despatch in an exchange. There is nothing remarkable in that. Women have constantly outs...
Wit and Humor [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 11 July 1885
Epitaph for a carpenter-" Passed to the higher plane." It is the man with the swelled jaw who "ei?fis?i naiknees.'goln . One and one makes one won, as the happy man said when he led his bride to the altar. -"-If-you. don't-give--me.a-'penny,-'-said a young boy to his, mamma, " I' know a boy that's got'the measles ; I'll go fhnd'catchl'em." A miss is not as good as a mile ; for a mniss has only &lt;two feet;while a',mile has five thou. sand two hundred and eighty. " " Isn't your hii'i and little bd ?"' asked Mrs. Smith of Mrs. -Jones. "There isn't a ,bald hair in -his head'" was the hasty reply.... ofthe latter.. , ,, The editor 'who kicked a poet downstairs Spologised"to a friend' wih came indto stal exchaiges; by saying rthat"'ie c'ouldi't help it, he had a sole for tioetiy.; i . . A citizen was told bythree different doc tors that he ,would not live thee week out (that was 1fie years agoY.''Las week he at tended the:funeral of the last df-the three. The only kind of chin' ...
Revised History of England. (AFTER MACAULAY. YOU MAY CALL IT WHAT YOU LIKE) CHAPTER II. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 11 July 1885
Revised Hist ?ry of England. (AFTER MACAULAY. YOU MAY CALL IT WHAT S I? :; 'you iO ;·c) S BY THEBARON. CHAPTER II. A....Alfred.the.Great ,was, succeeded .by, hisson. Edward the elder, though why the " elder," since there existed no Edwar'd.the youniger, history does not explain. 'After reig'ing a shilr'till ieh got a hiilftroaimipi aloftPaidras" *dis-mist. After him. Athelstan was knifed by an outlaw to whom he wouldn't give 'any more wine... In the reign'of' Ethelred, Dun stan, the Abbot of: Glastonbury, kicked up shines:: He'was a'cunning old' codger. Once in, a debate, seeing he was likely to:get the worst of the argument, he had the joists of the flooring, sawn half through, and at the pro~'e'r "omerit the flbooring 'gave way and the debaters, all except Dunstan, who took care to be out of the way, were not interested in the subsequent proceedings. Dunstan evidently knew how to `get: the best of an argumeut. Ethelred was nick.naihed the "Unready," because he was never prepared o...
A Romance. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 11 July 1885
A Romaioe. I hate you, sir; 1 made you,miss I You're made to scorn .. You're'maid to kiss, I loathe your face Ij i'm loath to go j My father comes i No, farther, no. His boots are hard What boots to tell; You're sold, you see ; I'm soled, farewell,
Didn't want it. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 11 July 1885
Didn't, want it. A book agent called at the office the other morning whilst our funny man was cutting out :some screaming jokes for this week's edition,. -" ed Good morning, sir," coinmenced the agent. " I want you to subscribe for our haidsomely bound illuninated revised edition of the New Testament"? -"Nothanks," replied "our- fi?iy l??iia? " Don't want it; we've got an old Testament abodutsomewhere. We' do 'all our business with that one." "But this is not the same," said the book man, sticking to his .man like a leech to a boy's hind leg. " This has a lot of things out. of it and: ever so many changes,%and--" " Eh ? I haven't heard of that," and our funny 'man faced round and looked liked business. "Lots of things taken outf'ehi Is the_ ten commandments taken out ?" "'Oh, no 1'but-" ':Well, I don't want it, then. Slide," and as the funny man look up a: pastepot for a shy at hin, the agent slid; ,, • :" · ! ?
Never Here ! [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 11 July 1885
. Never. Here 1. This happened at'Sydney, or New Zealand, or somewhere. Excited editori to sub :-" I say, Mr: Blank, what's the meaning of that heapof papers in the cellar " i Sub :-. Oh; they're1;10,000 copies of our last week's Daily ,Dustbin." '"10,000 copies of, last week's; Daily Dustbin! Why in thunder were they not dispoased of 7?" "Impossible, sir; couldn't sell 'emnio one cared.to buy 'em." "Well, s'pose ou coiildn't sell 'en;, why the' deuce didn't'y' give\enem away? Don'tcher.: know th'. accouintant's' comin' round next month t' certify, to enormous, in-: crease of. our :daily circulation? Enter 'em up as iss~ied at once, and therasi soo?n as itis. quite dark pack 'em' offto 'Gudgeon's fish shop" round th 'corner'."' That's-the. way, they ,work? the oracle in Sydney,NTew, Zea-!, landu, or somenwhere; lut it is .never done in odfdf~Ul~ee
A Mistake. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 11 July 1885
i well-known detedtie,, after the recent baink robbery deterihined to 'distinguish 'himiself: Provided with a pair of revolvers, he ijeregriiiated ad plermeatedthe neighbor hood' Where the olbery had.h been committed. .Early one morning, his eagle eye rested on two men who were apparently. " cracking a ciib." They had already succeeded in taking out two panes of glass in the back window of a large store. " I've got em," soliloquised the. D., and visions of promotion floated through his brain. It was the work of a moment to puall out his " pops," and he:had theiir at. his mercy: "Surrender!" said the D; "'You be blowed l" said the burglars; " what do you mean ?" " What do I mean ?" said the D., "you are my prisoners I" "For -what ?" asked one of the burglars, "For attempting to break into a dwelling house," replied the D. "Here's the bracelets ; put 'em on 1" " Well, so help me never I" ejacu lated oib of the burglars; "why, .the blooming bloke thinks we are going to rob the house. W...
Not up to the Law. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 11 July 1885
Not up to the Law.. A certain lawyer took in a new boy the other day, and as' h had.sufferedto some extent from the depredations of the former onie,he decided to try the new lad's holiesty at once. "He therefore placed two pounds under a weight upon his dek a~id' walked out without a word. Uponhis return half an hour later, the notes were gone and six shillings in silver had taken their place. "Boy I when I stepped out to get a draft ona:London I left two pounds under this weight 1" "Yes,-sir." "And now I 6nly find six shillings !" "Yes, sir, but see you hadn't been gone five minutes when a-man came in with a bill against you of 6ne pound fourteen, and I paid it. I think the change is correct." S"You--you paid a bill ?" "Yes, sir, I did--you know-there it is, all receipted. The man said it had slipped your mind for the last four years, and so-" He didn't get any further before' he Iwas rushed for the stairs, and he isn't in the law business any more.
Agricultural, &c. SMUDGES AND FROSTS. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 11 July 1885
SMUDGES AND FROSTS, The orchardists near Placerville believe in smoke as a preventive of injury by frost to fruit-trees; -They' have about detefilifeld this year to act all together in this matter of killing off the effects of frosts. Whenever, in the springtime, .the thermometer shows that there is danger to blossoms and buds, all the fruit-growers will have huge smudges kindled at night in gardens and orchards, Thus. will be Imade 'a - anopy of smoke and the smoke will contain, or retain, some heat, so that destruction will be prevented. Some times this plan does good. If the atmosphere is in that light condition which will cause the smoke.to stay close'down to surface, the buds and: blossoms will, be protected; but when the atmosphere is clear and the barome ter is ahigh,:the. smoke will take a straight shoot towards the zenith, and will not wrap :up .the. trees and plants worth a cent.., One night,,-about two years; ago, when Grass Valley had the killingest frost ever felt here,...
Liveried Wrongs. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 11 July 1885
Liveried Wrongs. In pursuance of our proclaimed intention of investigating the injustic suffered b those who, for a paltry wage, beconie whit slaves to their employers, we again publish a few cases of more than ordinary injustice suffered by those who, fora long timse, h. e, labored tinder the disadvantage of not being able to make their wrongs known. CASE 5.-Clara M'Tavish, cook at No. Toorak road, says her mistressis'the'meanest' woman she ever met. Clara has no perqui sites beyond the dripping, and the fact of .the butcher giving her ten shillings a month as a present is looked on with suspicibn y the mean old thing who-calls herself a lady, who thinks the butcher claps it on in the bill. She only gets £75 a-year, and would sooner' be badkin dearo61d Glasgow charing at Is, 3d. a day,: as she used to, than put up with such meanness. i CASE 6.-Horace ;Muggeridge,: footman at merchant-prince's residence, Brighton, says the hinsults he 'as to put up with is hawful. Gents poke fun hat...
The News. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 11 July 1885
The News." :O'er sea and land, by pot ad hand; :The news was telegraphed.:'" Prince, Bismarck :smiled, and France was riled, El Mlahdi only:laughed. On mountain-heighlts; at muffin fights, '-Throughout all Christian nations, 'Mong birds and beasts atcivic feasts 'Twas told with variations. The papers daily gave it gaily, S.Set up in largest type, in the Age and Punch, at dinner, lunch,. 'Twas made a subject ripe, . Alpine scalers, Greenland whalers, Pebple' of every kiid,, Wonidering,:read the news that said, 'E SLo, !Gladstonehas resigni d I"r None could conceive it, none believe it 3 Thus run the people'sniind,-?. Until the joyful news was proved:.; That Gladstone-had-resigned. As. novelists;have it, it'sa dreary winter's day;'a-raggedmnian is seekn pacing the cold pavement, bootless and forlorn. "-'Tie night -'tis.always .so .when evening-comes on clear and cold; every. sound audible for miles round.. The ragged man is seen again ; this time with a dog. He makes his way to a stat...
Some "Jars" of Pickles. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 11 July 1885
Some "Jars" of Pickles. A young lady and her young man lwere passing a butcher's shop, when she said; ' Oh, I do love-roast veal," to which hey replied' (deeply shocked at her tastes), " Well, .you had better get that calf over there,'.pointing to one of his rivals. i The following piece of advice was given by a smart girl to a mopish follower the other day, after he had been pouring' out his " sole " wish in wishy-washy compliments : "James," said she, while the' addressed one looked up, and the nervous twitching ',6fhis mouth gave it a strong resemblance to a crushed empty jam=tin, "James,jI think you had better save your tongue" for:-your mother's next \vashing day ; it will do ex cellently to 'soap ' the:clothes with."' "It is remarkable," said Mrs. James,Wt a sewing meeting, last week, "it i?r?markable what a powerful influence the pulpit has." "Yes," Mr. J- remarked drily, "I often thought that if they would let us bring the cradle to church we might be able to'get our youngst...
OUR ILLUSTRATION. DEATH OF RICHARD O'HARA BURKE. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 11 July 1885
OUR ILLUSTRATION. DEATH OF RICHARD O'HARA BURKE. The subject of our sketch this week, as most of our readers are aware, represents the death of the leader of the largest and most completely equipped exploration party ever sent forth into the desert of Australia. The object of the expedition was to cross the con. :tinentto the Gulf of Carpentaria. This RBurke accomplished, being accompanied only from Cooper's Creek by Wills .(the astronomer), King and Gray. On their return journey to Cooper's Creek, Gray died of dysentery. On arriving at the Creek, they found that the party left there in charge of the depot had forsaken it in the belief that Burke's party had either, perished or been taken on board by a steamer sent round to the Gulf to meet them. Burke and his. -two companions lived for many weeks on the fish of the camels and horses, together with -a native plant called nardoo; which is commonly used by the natives for food." At last, Wills died, and Burke and King attempted to see...
NEWS AND NOTES. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 11 July 1885
NEWS AND NOTES. The secretayv of thc. Sports; Club aeknoiw. ledges receipt of the follow\iing subscriptions. toward the formnition of lBowling Club: -Messrs T. Arkins.,S. Frlser.•: Induni.i MeWil liains, J. Williains, J.:I. Barber, £1 s ecich. Sports Club meeting on 'Tuesdaynight - Oii the division on'the;libianr" site in tlhe council the chairman voteit ! twice. Ontlbe. 'first division his vote tmade it equal.: He 1 then, gaye ,his gsecond vote wiithitle ayes, and of course the ayes lhad' it' The ch ir-?, nman's authority for voting -twice on this occasion is contained in li:art 4, clause 120. of the Local Government Act. Last Saturday night, as the 7.40 p.m. train from Geelong was passing the buhtts the engine-driver, AMr:organ, and his fire man, noticed ani ohject theyv'supposed to be a man uistrike against the buffer of the en gine:anid it was dragged alongthe line for fully 20 yards, when, fortunately 'it' was thriown to .the. rightof the: engine, free 'o: the rails. The pleril...
Borough Council. Monday, 6th July. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 11 July 1885
Borough' Council . V:,i, "if .. lon(hiyh6thin.ulyi:, ,' 1 PresentC(i' Cis uien(in'lhe chnr)Arkmii, ,iallieu,. Cttihcr, Iiikin. . . Con.espondenlce in rxefeincee to thetPoint Tonstale road wiasread.u:. l The .towti cleik staid,tlitiLM I tfeviti talit replIe alied tai ?tiiihlifte!L . " eid'g?: 'npl6n tet ?wvyern inert, ..thi? ndeiiA.r' Qti h?? e imilpl tiiiof this iroadi uinild he d stted. ' theii iiatter now rtjcd with ihe'ic ? t"et:trie.,chanies tof tlsiehrondt riniutey lieipn yo tlisetm?.ti otuuald ?elpetil? .thee ;1Estinmiteiste, .wetbeitig ,prtep erd.: A, lcttIer : wis .l ?e?lfroni. tht.delrartmnent to the, am.e effect *'; .otitncilkas were oef' rlfpinitl thab the p+l n'ibselgive ii t l er ahluost ufliiecit tinoar ?nii them i calling for.ten-. idocnimmiedtiately. ., "?.i f ! i l Sii rIclievi jwrote:;to the effcct that. tlie. Mi utiste.itof I:ind: ha: sat ietd that be:fore tlhe .presentttibirary,? itce ~u1d be sol d and dialh ~ .withby .the tirustee,, iit ,would bu ncues? ry tativ...
Advertising [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 11 July 1885
-- TO FAIhI1 ERS AND OTUihES. U31BENZER+ASH liuhas somefew thousands 1 of. firit-clas' Trollojs ii Victoria, and La 'Marquerite litrawbeijy plants fori sale at leks than nursery prices. St:rawberries are" the earliest, mostelegant and most healthful fruit for desert: 'No table should be without them in 'tho spring and early summer, All plants arc guarrantued true to name ::I i:-ill lear comiun suminier. - Address -.Jurstautial ?. n, ! -: :":: i Pt r *l I icjii d?cill, x i1? 1 , l- W i egir ' tohri nd • *:****; ... - ,;-,-* . v ? , ... ih , ) -j, "o d ',Ii . i 'i l 3Iu; n t- L'ii u ice oft lie p ..lic ihcr'Ni #-t 6 S ), is. 41 ti6y - -8 u - L"ite r M s .iii ne forooahc8 N -e ;,wrkt - ?:-:: , (,++, niefr I i. y " I I. ' .AIbtriflil fr i ' >i d bi"ft ll' a i-| t iviU I1ii's )lec lot 11'*' ; · : ~1-CIiTED . aLandF Ha ,rvy j 8i. 3 ItYIRIE STREET ;., Geelongii.' ' A -FOR GE, [O URADI' GRAI' "=i S'.'NTS."." I J ospi . . 'T .-) il j i .i. . , i s a **U. t '- i i lt . ,a 's I'1i'll h ' I ...
Haceling [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 11 July 1885
If your wife falls asleep perhaps a shovel wake her, " Crawled Back."-The New South Wales contingent. "Forget my Knot."-As the hangman said to Barnes. ":Reduced to Bones."-The corner man in Lawton's minstrels. He who Mrs. to take a kiss Has Mr. thing he should not Miss. "Rumors, of War."-" This is a pretty hour of. the night to come home, .Mr. Brbwn 1I" 'Why is the author of " Called Back" a queer animial,? Because his tale comes out of his head. The boiling-down establishments can, at any, rate, be considered as boney-fide con cerns. .Why. are they gunboats in Hobson's Bay like hats ? Because: they save thousands of lives by protecting the Heads. .Why is the. corporation dust-cart like a young lady's 'belt ? Because it goes round and gathers in the waste (waist). Our charwoman wants to know what the 'allee "scrub." islike. She says she don't believe'in anynew-fangled ways of cleaning: Stiggins, who pretends to know all about. agriculture, writes to say " that the first corn grewon ...
An Appeal to Wits. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 11 July 1885
• An Appeal to Wits. Give us a rest on the old, old jokes,. And let ius hae something nero, Let up on the masher:and mother-ih-law, And thieffirting policemen--do I Let'us heai no more of the brainless dude,' Or the girl who deyours ice-cream, And put the husband who stays out late In his little bed to dream. Is there no reason or rhyme that the gushing `.girl Should worry the editor so?. And the squibs on the size of the major's boots, Grew stale, aMhl long, long ago. Let Dalley and Gladstone alone awhile, They hre too, too overdone, And give us a rest on, these worn-out jokes, We decline to consider them fun.