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So Did the Dog. [Newspaper Article] — Swan Hill Guardian and Lake Boga Advocate — 14 May 1914
So Did the Dog. The defendant, \vho was chargetid with keeping a dog without a license, repeatedly tried to interrupt the evi dence, but was hushed each timlie by the court. Finally the clerk t-rned to him: "Do: you wish the court to under stand that you refuse to renew your dog license?" : "Yes, but ". "We .want no 'buts'.' You.must rc new your license .or be .fined. You know it. expired on slet January."" ".Yes; and so did. the dog!" An amusing story is told of a De vonshire man who invited a Socialist to visit his estate and-see what he 'had done for the villagers.' As they drove about the men touchb ed their hats and the boys and girls '-'bobbed" and curtsied. Soon they passed a man nsmoking his pipe, who toolk no notice of the squire. "Ah!" said the Soci±tlst. "That's the sort of man for me N.-_N bowing and s.craping.'. "No," replied the. squire,? 'that's the village idiot' . :: And so lie was.
Advertising [Newspaper Article] — Swan Hill Guardian and Lake Boga Advocate — 14 May 1914
This W. SL Means a Lot THE PEOPLE'S POPULAR DRAPER, to YOU... MEN'S AND LADIES' OUTFITTER. Correct Style in Footwear for Ladies and Gentlemen. The VERY THING in Men's Hats, Shirts, Collars, Ties, Underwear, &o., &c. Agent for Woodrow's Hats. "Where Everything is Best by Actual Test." W. SILK'S RED HOUSE AUTUMN AND WINTER GOODS. You Must Inspect to Realise. -o- YOUR MILLINERY.-A First-class Milliner employed on the premises, .All orders executed with exactness. Fete Day is near at hand, so call early and satisfy your wants, -o-- NOTE THIE ADDRESS NEXT TO POST OFFICE, SWAN HILL. _=, J. MACPHERSON, Motor and General ' Engineering Works, M'OALLTUM-STREET, SWAN HILL (Opposite Shire Hall). FORD OARS. Motor Repairs a Speolality. Brazing a Speciality. Bearing Metal. Beesb Quality of Steel Phosphor Bronze. Local Agent for Dunlop Motor Tyrea and Acoessories, Lubricatling Oils and Greases. Centrifugal Pumps, Mayer's Grain Cleaner and Grader, Welch-Perrin Wolsely Shearing Machin...
The Great Tragedy. [Newspaper Article] — Swan Hill Guardian and Lake Boga Advocate — 14 May 1914
The Great Tragedy, "And this," said the alleged ohl -.oli dier, pestering a long-suffering editor who was an old soldier, "is whers the Arabs were mased .ijn front- of us. Here"'--pointing to another place oni a dirty pocket map-"is where our di vision was drawn up. inzareba. We deployed in, this direction, and -our left wipng was attacked by the enelny on. this knoll. Just at t]j_ pcint I was Wounded on the left shoulder, aird a .hundred yards farther-on I got my right.arm shattered by a 'iec3 of one of our own shells, and-" "'But,' interrupted the bored edito, "where'did you get your- brains blo\ws out?" A. well-dressed lady having g?ien the signal that she desired to al"ight, the tramcar was brought to a stiu;, buit just so that the rear step wras directly over a small muid puddle. ~"~' lady looked an instant, and then ask ed: "How do you think I can get off here?" - The conductor replied: *"'T cannot tell you, madam, but I do know that we can't wait until that puddle dries up.' ...
PASTURES PROTECTION BOARD. MOULAMEIN. [Newspaper Article] — Swan Hill Guardian and Lake Boga Advocate — 14 May 1914
AsTJRERP ROTEH ION BOARD, MQULAMEIN. The i usual monthly imeeting- of- the above ,board was theld ,at M£oulamcin on Thursday, 7th inst. Present-M?assrsi. M'Oonniell (chairman), J. I.. Browir, W.. R. Homhns, G: O. Carr, E. 8. Blilliere? and W. O.1;naiy.-* SThe bank book showed cre:i t i btil] ance, and :accoumits amiuiting to £161i 14s 7d -wor:lpasosedrfor-payment"' • ?. ,alki an. - . IKfr. BRobert lM'binfleJl1 -was elected chairma?-ifor. \the .current year . iThe 'ireturning officet.: reported tuat only two nominations were recoived in, time.--NMoved by. Messrs. .Bailliero aniid Car', that Messrs. Grahami -Rhind JTolnson? and:William Robert HIolm~s be recoinmended :.for aepointanent as directorstheir nominationa.liavingi be?n received too late.-~Carried. Comrmesondence. Prom: -Agricultural ,-department, re. Conmnittee -for Investigation: of '-Blow., fly Pesti--authorising boards to con tribute;-fMessrs. Ca3Trr and' Bailliere moved; that l£10l be contributed to the funds of-the- Comm...
Chaff Standard. [Newspaper Article] — Swan Hill Guardian and Lake Boga Advocate — 14 May 1914
'..Chaffr BtandaP d.- : Farmers: in districts about ;Ballarat were desirous of knowing to ..what,.ex tent thee 'proposal of certain: produce merchants to. make !a :reduction! in :the f.a.q. standard- of.chaff :would affect them, and they approached Six? Alex. ander Peacock- ·with a& request that a stay of action should be made until they were 4ble tjo give ,tlhe matter con sideration. They. desired to, compare the sample of tho special ,or No. i chaff, ilih jit was:proposed to. rIeduce. with 'their own ehatf;. Sir Alexander Peacock interviewed the Miinister for 'Agriculture (Mr:. Hutthinson)h 'yp in rsply stated that a deputation of pros ducers. from: the Geelong. district had waited uaponhJim'and had -asked for ::a feductionf~n .thep?,'esent standrard' They wer'e informed -that tite standard: was jixed by a trade cotihmittee of the Chaff and 'Produce -Association, and that he had nothing at all directly 'to do with thie minatte. JThe -comm~ttee re coivedt the.samples ;colle...
POSTAL ARRANGEMENTS. [Newspaper Article] — Swan Hill Guardian and Lake Boga Advocate — 14 May 1914
POSTALt ARRANCEMENTS. Mails are recived and despatched at the Swan Hill Post Offlle as follows : MAILS CLOSE For Melbourne, Bendigo, Mitiamo, Pyramid Hill, Kerang, Mystic Park, and Lake Boga daily at 11.25 a.m. For Burra, Broomhead's, Lockhart's, O'Bree's, Youngiera, Euston, Narrung Bumbang and =ildura on Tuesdays and Fridays at 5.45 p.m. For Tyntynder South, Tyntynder Sta tion, T'yntynder West, Bruce's, Nyah, Wood Wood and Piangil on Sundays at 10 p.m. Tuesdays and Fridays at 5.45 p.m. For Goschen,-Lalbert Road, Mumble Plains; and Lalbert on Mondays, Wed nesdays and fridays at 8.45 a.m. For BulgaI M'Naughton's, - Algie's, Standen's and M'Lean's on Sundays, Tuesdays and Thursdays at 10 p.m. For Mallan, Cunninyeuk, Jeffrey's and Moulamoin on Tuesdays and "Fri days at 7 a.m. For Albrecht's, Nesbitt's, Liewah. Neild's, Yanga, Stony Crossing, Hos burgh's, Holmes', Wakool, Stenning's, Condoulpe, Finlay's,. Spinks', M'Clel land's, O'Riley's, Cannally and Bal ranald on Mondays, Wednesdays,...
COMMONWEALTH AND MONOPOLIES. MINISTERS AND TRUSTS. CONTRIBUTED. [Newspaper Article] — Swan Hill Guardian and Lake Boga Advocate — 14 May 1914
IOMMRONWEALTH- AlD 'MONOPOLIES, MINISTERS AND TRUSTS, .ohctRfBstED. - Whilst members of the House of Re prescntatives haves been talking, long and 'loosely, ofmany things, house holders .have: been concentrating their ttdntion on one--the increased cost of liviig.n: ..:Knibbd,4the Commonwealth :tatist;-2 tells us that the first three months of 1914 saw yet another rise in the. weekly bill which the wage· earner arid his wife must face, unless they arc prepared to forego some of the com forts that they have been accustomed to regard as necessaries. Since that, the grocers have come to some sort of understanding which further-swells the oeek's accounts; the butcher's charges are higher, and the cold comfort offered to fatlhers With their quivers full of healthy, hungry children is that to day's ~prices are 'low compared to ,those the future will bring. As regards.meat, Labor &lt;asserts that tho rise is .due to .the machinations of a trust. ...On Wednesday .Mr, Groom, .finiste...
One for the Butcher. [Newspaper Article] — Swan Hill Guardian and Lake Boga Advocate — 14 May 1914
One for the Butcher. A candidate. at'one of 'the recent by-elections was subjected to much in terruption by a butcher, who enjoyed eonusiderable notoriety as a "heckler." The candidate bore the thing. good humoredly for a time, but at last he .gave his questioner .a hint that he -was taking up valuable time by ask ing silly questions. This so enraged the butcher that he shouted out:, "If' I- had the candidate in my sau sage machine. I'd:make. mincemeat of hi~m" - The candid~ie calmly retorted: "Is thy servant a dog that- thou Shouldst do this thing?" . And nothing more was heard of the butcher.
Poetic Justice. [Newspaper Article] — Swan Hill Guardian and Lake Boga Advocate — 14 May 1914
Poetic Justice. Little things can be very trying at times,. especially when they happen to you. Mir. Fry thought something like this. when, one wet morning, he coiuld not- find his umbrella. Like most married men, he believed in the max im, "when in trouble blame your wife.'! '"I say, MIary," he shouted, "what on earth has happened to my new um brella? I brought it honie last night, and now it's gone; and, of course, it's raining like'mad!" "Why, it's hardly raining at all!" "said Mary. "But last night-it was simply pouring when .the vicar left, aild so I lent. him your umbrella." "What a silly thing to do! I shall never see it again now, so I.may as well buy another to-day!" "How can you be so wicked, Perci val? As if the vicar would stoop to stealinig your umlbrella!" "Stoop to stealing it-be hanged! I borrowed it firom him a couple of -months ago!" .
Advertising [Newspaper Article] — Swan Hill Guardian and Lake Boga Advocate — 14 May 1914
ASSURANCE 00. * LTD. ESTD. 1782. WORKERS' CGMPEHSATION. FIRE. . ACCIDENT. SIOSSES PAID EXCEED £90,ooo;ooo. LOsMe by BUSH FIRES and by LICHTHINO r ' . mada good by this Company.. AGENTS WANTED. VICTIIAN 461 TO 4711 BOURKE ST,, OF:IE MELBOURNE., ' A' LCETY & CO. LTD., AGENTS. POULTRY FOR EXPORT. SAll Classes wanted. We buy by live weight. Crates lent No Commission or Cartage Charged. Chickens & •Ducklings, 6d lb. Old Fowls from 2/- to 4/6 pair,any breeds. DAVID HYLAND & 80N8, 8ENNITT'S FREEZING WORKS, MELBOURNE. FOR CHILDREN TEETHING. there is notti.ng equal to KERNOT'S SOOTH ING POWDERS. They are a safe and eertain, remedy; 1/- plits.; posted i/i. stamps. KiERNOT, Chemist, GEELONG. PITT S NOISONED WHEAT. -Fof destroying: Rats, Mice. Sparrows and Parrots, etc.: It is the only certain and genuhine- preparation. Refuse all -initations. . In- Gd. :(large 1/-) yellow packets; 2/6 Farmers' Tins. MADE1 SNOWY.WHITE WITHOUT A ROB SIMPLY BY USING HE IRTe -4 RROW !I( Y/ ...
HOTEL FOR "DOWN-AND-OUTS." [Newspaper Article] — Swan Hill Guardian and Lake Boga Advocate — 14 May 1914
HOTEL FOR '"DOWN-AND-OUTS." An hotel for "down-and-outs," which has just --been. opened in ,Chicago by Mr. Charles Dawes, a milliohaire bank president, is filled every night, while many are turned away for lack of accommodation. Mr. Dawes erectel the house at a cost of £20,000, in memory of-his son.Rufus, who was drowned. The hotel, the "Chronicle" says, provides. a bath,and a. night's lodging for.2"d., while private rooms can be secured for 5d. The rules of the house are framed so as not to hurt the pride of any of the .guests. Soup can be obtained for a penny, coffee at the same price, and other food in pro portion. The place is a godsend to Chicago's poor workers, many of whom are out of employment at pre sent. Every night the place is storm ed by those who wish.to get in out of the cold, a line of nearly 500 men awaiting entrance. The house ac commodates only 300, and the strug gles for priority of place in the line are pitiful to behold.
WHICH END OF A POST SHOULD BE UP. [Newspaper Article] — Swan Hill Guardian and Lake Boga Advocate — 14 May 1914
WHICH END OQ A POST SHOULD BIr~ EuP.: It is a common belief among: fari. ers'that a: post-:will last' longer,.if set in"the ground the reverse of the, way U( grew in the tree, in other words, with the butt end up. Ac~ordingly, one sees. many posts, especially end and gate posts, with the small. end down; The supposition is that sap in a tree' is always ascending, or at least that it is easier for the sap, to 'go up than down. Consequently, it is arigued, turning a post upside down tends to prevent. the rise of water, helps to keep the wood dry, and,' therefore, renders it less liable to de cay. As a matter of fact, sap or water can. flow in either direction with equal facility and the popular notion to the c6ntrary is incorrect. Careful experiments .on the relative durability of post timbers have been made by the Ohio Agricultural Experi ment Station (says the "Scientific American") and the above question was considered. One fence in par ticular contained. 156 black locust posts, of...
Advertising [Newspaper Article] — Swan Hill Guardian and Lake Boga Advocate — 14 May 1914
WELSBACH THE WORLD'S BEST FOR COUNTRY LIGHTING. Air Gas Machines. The Welsbach S Air Gas lMa chine is so simr ple that a child can work it with impunity, Suitable for Lighting, Heat ing and Cook ing. We guar antee satisfac tion with all our Machines, and to prove this we will put a machine in for one month free of charge, and if not suit. able, will remove same free of all cost to you. Write for Catalogue. WELSBACH LIGHT COMPANY OF AUSTRALASIA LIMITED, )o TONqRDALE ST.. MEl0TBOURNE. There are two things which every man or woman believes about him self or herself-namely, that he or she has a strong sense of humor and is a small eater. Most people are con vinced that they are ioor sleepers as well, but this is not quite so univer sal an article of belief as the 'other two. The fellow who knows it al would be a wonder 'ifhe''could only con vince other people of it. The only art worth studying in life is that of taking nobody too serious ly. Healatta Soap and Healatta Balm are made from...
The Neighborly Spirit. [Newspaper Article] — Swan Hill Guardian and Lake Boga Advocate — 14 May 1914
The Neighborly Spirit. The neighborly spirit is an excel lent .thing· to cultivate, although not, perhaps, as it is cultivated in the fl~ lowing story: "How do you like your nep home?" a friend asked a man who had -r cently-moved into the village;. "Pretty well.", - "Have you called on ycur ncigii -bors yet?" "I haven't yet," the newcomer .d-. mitted. '"But I'm going to if any more :of my:woo~ adfdcoal is misa
The Grateful Father. [Newspaper Article] — Swan Hill Guardian and Lake Boga Advocate — 14 May 1914
The Grateful Father. A young man, at the risk of his life, saved a beautiful girl from drowning. Her grateful father seized the rescuer of his daughter by the hand, and, in a voice trembling with emotion, said: "Noble youth, to you I am: indebted/ for everything that makes life dear to me. Which reward will you take -fifty thousand pounds or the hand of my daughter?". "I'll take the daughter," replied the heroic rescuer, thinking thereby to get both the girl and the money. "You have well chosen," replied the grat'eful father. "I could not have given you the fifty thousand pounds just yet, anyhow, as .I.have not laid.l up that amount, being only a contri butor to the magazines; but my daughter is yours for life. Bless you, my children."
NAPOLEON AND SCIENCE. [Newspaper Article] — Swan Hill Guardian and Lake Boga Advocate — 14 May 1914
NAPOLEON AND SCIENCE. We think of Napoleon as the great Lord of War, the butcher of human lives, the builder of a great empire, built only tofall even before the death of its founder. It is well to remember that his gen ius was great also in other most last ingly fruitful fields. He was not only a great warrior, but also a great states-? man-and as such he did not fail to re alise the importanceto tlihe community of arts and sciences. Writing to the astronomer Oriani, from Milan, which he had entered in triumph, Napoleon said: "The sciences which do honor to the human mind and the arts which em bellish life and' perpetuate great achievements for posterity, should be especially honored. under free govern ments. "... I invite the scholars to meet and to give me their opinioins as to the means that should be taken, and the needs to be fulfilled, in order to bring new life and activity into the sciences and the fine arts. Those who wish to go to France will be received with dis tinction...
PATTERN FOR CHILD'S KILT AND JUMMPER. [Newspaper Article] — Swan Hill Guardian and Lake Boga Advocate — 14 May 1914
PATTERN FOR CHILD'S KILT AND JUIMMPER. :Many a mother will welcome this simple little frock. It is easily made and would look well in any material. The jumper is separate, the kilt be ing given on" body lining." It repre sents "Everylady's Journal" pattern No: 137-cut for little girls of 4 and 6 years. This. pattern may be bought for ninepence from local pattern agent, or will be, sent post free to any ad dress if ninepence in stamps is sent to Dept. "A," "Everylady's Journal," 376 Swanston-street, Melbourne. State number of pattern and size required. If a penny stamp is sent to above ad dress- a-48-page catalogue will be sent to any reader who writes "send free catalogue."'
In Trouble Again. [Newspaper Article] — Swan Hill Guardian and Lake Boga Advocate — 14 May 1914
In Trouble Again. Traveller (to an Irishman): Well, Mike; I see you have a small garden. '"Yes,. sorr!" :- "What are you,.going to set in it for next season?" : : "Nothing, sorr. I set it with pota toes last year; and not oneof them came up.?" S".That's strange.- How do :you ex plain it?" "Well, sorr, the man next door to me set his garden full of onions." '"Well,- had that. anything to do with youir :potatoes not growing?" S"Yes;,sorr. - Bedad, them onions was that strong that'ny piotatoes couldit't see to grow for their:: eyes water. ing!". .4- '. -
A Persuasive Tongue. [Newspaper Article] — Swan Hill Guardian and Lake Boga Advocate — 14 May 1914
A Persuasive Tongue. At school in Cornwall, Mr. Rudyard Kipling,. never a brilliant scholar, was known as "Gigs" (i.e., "gig-lamps,!' meaning spectacles), and was esteem* ed because.he won the confidence of an austere spinster who kept the lo cal tuckshop, with the help of three cats. She hated the college youths, gridgingly took their cash, and stern ly denied them credit. But. "Gigs" went round one day, and, while his companions were bursting* with sub dued laughter, he blandly "talked cat" to the old lady, and succeeded in win ning her confidence to such an extent that his name-the .only one--was placed on her books.