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His One Consolation. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 26 March 1887
His One Consolation. "Can you give me a drink, madam ?" begged the tramp. "I can give you a drink of water," she said. "Well," he said, after some consideration, " water'ill do, if you can give me an old beer bottle to drink from. I'm a poor and lowly wreck, madam," he concluded with pathos, "but, thank heaven, I have still left the remnants of what was at one time considered the finest imagination in the country where I was born."
Ossy[?] [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 26 March 1887
Ossyl Bertie, when in Mhelbr.unre, was the mashiest dude I ever knew. You ' never saw him out of his lavenders an i patents, but in spite of his effeminacy lie wa a bold rider at home on the station, and he had a manly love of horses. There was a butcher ini the vicinity who rode a fine bay horse that Bertie coveted greatly for its splendid.action and grand pace. So he made overtures to the butcher, and after a lot of bargaining, he secued the prize. When he had paid inp he mounted. eagerly to try a canter, when, to his surprise,t the horse refused to inove. Coaxing, petting, and patting were of no avail; the.whip was cqu-lly useless. "Look here, don't. you know?" he said to the butcher, ' it's a swindleg ; he won't stir a hoof." . " Not without the basket," answered the butcher; "here, take this:' And before he -knew it the basket was thrust into his dainty hand, and off shot the horse like an arrow. That's how the elegidt Bertie came to be seen by ..the Do Browns and the O'Jones g...
A Woman's Memory. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 26 March 1887
. A Woman's Memory. A woman in one of the Ballarat drapers' abops was in a quandary on last Friday fore noon. She had too many strings on .her fingers. "Now," said she, "that string on my forefinger is to remind me to get four yards of baby ribbon, and. that red string there is so that I won't forget to call at the stove shop and get the wash-boiler that's being mended.' The piece of yellow ribbon is for powdered sugar for cake for the festi val, and the yarn on my thumb is, lemme s-e-, is to get four sk-ins of domestic yar for socks for the boys. What puzzles me is this other piece. Seems though it was somethin' about givin' the horse some dinner somehow, -but I don't just remember. Oh, dear me I How-nervous it makes me I Iwant twelve yards of unbleached cotton cloth and two reels of thread.. I've got to get some velvet to trim over my own winter bonnet, and I want some pins and some buttons on my cloak, and ruching, and won't, you let me look at some of your winter garments? and-l...
Wit and Humor [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 26 March 1887
A planted devicefor openig letters.--It is called "letter ti'i;." i Talk is cheap--inless you employ a swell barrister to do it fir you. When a man gets to be a leader of work ingmea he is able to quit.work. Some men have greatness thrust upon them, specially whenu a fat person sits next to them in the omuibas. A grocer got a new pair of scales and drew' large crowds to his store by.putting out a sign re' inug -' Pr.tty girls given a-: weigh." Some cne wants to knoiw vhat the use of a fashionable ob anty is. Well, we don't know, unless it is to have her picture in a soap ad vertisement. What is more pathetic than to see the sim ple faith with which a bald-headed m:onwill buy aninfallible hair'restorativefrorn a bald headed barber2 It is moarnlul 'comrmentary on human vanity to see the inuurners looking back, on turning a corner, to see if the procession. is : worthy of the corps . Old Dick was -like .his dog, 'twas said, , in every particular; And upright were the lives they led, Th...
Lemuel and Statira. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 2 April 1887
Lemuel and Statira. S' Walk right in, Mr. Barker," cried 'Manda Griier, an:d Lemuel entered, more awkward and she",pish in his new suit from the Misfit Parlboirs .than ne bhad been before in his Willoughby Pasturcs-,best clothes.. Statira merely ?did, " Why, Mr. "Barler i " and stood at ,her..:chai' wliere"she rose,: "-You're quite-:a stranger. Woni't you sit down?" ý .Lemuel sat down,:and 'Manda Grier said, politely,: "Won't you let'me take'youi bat.; Mr. ,Biarker ?? and they both treated 'hita withs?o muclih-ceremony and deference that it 'se'emed inipossible he could ever have done sucih idmonrtrois thing as kiss a young lady-like'&Miss Dudley ; and he felt that he n'eve:-could approach .the" subject even to accepta just doom at her hands. They all talked about the weather for a minute, and then:'Manda Grier' said, "Well, I -guessI shall la~ve t6 go down-and set this boneseep to 'steep ;" and as he rose, and stood' to let her pa;s, she caught his arm and gave it a clutch....
Advertising [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 2 April 1887
.?1O "P ?' '^ ? ?? Any description of Genera, Printing executed in First-class Style-it SQ B * A~ Ai r Q &lt;1 Quick Despatch, and for. I\cderate Price, at the Office of . ' 'this Newspaper. . In the Advertising Department every effort is made to satisfy customers-Special Inducements for Large Advertisenmnts, and Low Qotatios for al. " " .. . . .... " : ? . ... " ; . . .. . . .._:.":" . - -- " -" . !"t9--"-, "-d ..... .... n ts as'- - ?? ? ?'? ,. i ,,
Wit and Humor [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 2 April 1887
He (on horseback) -" Shall we , take :ithe : higbwav home ?" She-"Nd; I. would prefer:.. the bridal-path, I'think.":' . " Wife-" Say ,hubby, hsc'e you read=- that : novel called?' OneWi :: Y ees'I presses6T>Wife'Do YLfow who is. the author ? " , HusaniidT'"No; ;"butit ' I'm sure it was not written by'a woman." ' A modern . writer. says : Mi "Man is a ro mance to a woman." In a great many cases, judging from the number of hard-worked and worn-out wives, man is more of a tragedy to woman. The romance is all.before marriage. He was looking for a rich wife and thought. he was on the trail.. "I love you," he said to her in rich. warm tones, "more than I can tell you in,. words." "You'd better. try' figures," she replied, coldly, for she' was not so green as she looked. An old gentleman accused his searvant of having stolen his stick. The man protested perfect :innocence. :" Why," rejoined his: master; " the stick could never have' walked ' off with itself." " Certainly not, sir;" unle...
The Naughty Little Girl. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 2 April 1887
The Naughty Little -Girl; She is cunning, she is tricky, I am greatly grieved to tel',' And her hands are always sticky With. chocolate caramel; Her dolly's battered features, Too, tell of many a frantic hurl; She's the terror of her teachers That naughty little girl. She dotes upon bananas, - And she smears them on my knees,; And she peppers my Havanas, And she laughs to hear.me sneeze:; And she steals into my study, And she turns my books awhirl, And her boots are always muddy That naughty little girl. When she looks as she were dreaming Of the an els in the air, I know'she's only scheming How to slyly pull my hair; Yet--whv, I can't discover Spite of every tangled curl, She's a darling and-Ilove her -That n~ighty little girl. -
A Sensational Story. BRIGHAM YOUNG SAID TO BE ALIVE NEAR LINCOLN, NEBRASKA. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 2 April 1887
A Sensational ':Story. BRIGHAM YOUNG S ID TO BE ALIVE NEAR. LINCOLN, NEBRASKA. Two miles south of Lincoln, Neb., is. a fine residence owned by an Euglsih gentle man long identified with the Mormon Church. The residence has been irtenanted for the last two years, save by.an-old ser vant, a man named White, who at one time was connected with the Jeserets of London, a sect similar to the Mormons. White claims that he was defrauded by them out of his .property, and latterly became converted to the Mormon faith. He was considered. ar trustworthy man, and partially, through ne cessity, was taken into the confidence of the leaders of the Mormon Church of- Zion,; which, according to his statements, is about to perpetuate a fraud to which he is unwil ling to become a party., A correspondent from Lincoln describes; White as relating the followingstory : "Two months ago there arrived at the mansion an old gentleman bearing letters from my master in London, the purport of which was to obey his ...
A BIG SCHEME. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 2 April 1887
A B10- NCHEILM1'`ý: A niw ta of _ýireeýtors.nnd.'dtirelaoII In~··H ft;lill()l:, io;ta I Go" Iiuuited 'Was hl f' 'ElI Ifln'r artyrooli)II 0 eon'iiU ij a jopo~sid U), tirau"fer tIuý prop ea c o;.f 'tue :.Couiii ny ntiz. "t e' Ci~anol ilutel. at Q.iuteensdtifF ;:tiai II vaidiu ix I a adit Bnitits a:t ;a ti1rlanper P.,,i t ti e ` ro entor hlitel antdrthic. 4teAnin erui F~ouqd~ale' and Golden iC'row iis!toii Unw N1bqf ) ata&Alottitty, (:I:t) th art'.iniaiu. prinuple- :Tie salieutie: 'waq 'favoureýlad atid likcly tA).:i he- laceus huh l bef no the., pnbli!. shaortlt '.TIere ivil: be 100 0t)) °£ 1 R'sares, antd of "thoae;e t ie` shareholldet s: and dlirectors ta kea abut 2500t1 the rh n oe l5Ur heret bený ofeed. h -17(
CHICKEN DISEASES. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 2 April 1887
CHICKEN DISEASES. "I have lately had several cases. of. roup among my poultry and have cared every one discovered in time-bad attacks, too--by simple remedies. 'First,, give, a bread pill containing cayenne pepper and red horse-powder, and at night a teaspoonful :of the best castor oil. Also wet the the nostrils 'well with kerosene oil during the day-twice if the :ittack be severe-and let the birds breathe fum s of the flowers of sulphur. I take.a; pan of ashes,. put live coals on, it, sprinkle sulphur on the, fire and move the pan under thu. roosts in the evening when' the fowls-are on them. :Care must be'taken -not to 'allor it to be too strong. I have used cdmpounds made by long recipes,-aud have not found them nearly as effective as the above:- remecy? ::: would no more be without thisthan-. 'would .go without cam phbr. and 'cbgh medaiihine oidtiment in the house.. " I think the lime.dust treatment the best of'all:cures. for, gapes in chickens. It is cheap, simple and effective....
A Good Turn. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 2 April 1887
A Good Turn. Young Winks-:-" Dick, my boy, will your sister be home this evening ?" Little Dick-" Yes." " It's only a night or two since I called, but I'd like to call again this evening if I thought she'd be at home. Here's some stick. jaw for yo i, Dick." l'Thanks, awfully." "No*-, Dick, I want you to- be a good little friend of mine." W" ell, I'll be careful not to let her know you're coming." 446
A Fight With Convicts. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 2 April 1887
A Fight With Convicts.:. All was quiet in the house,.but. there was still light in one of the upper front windows. I saw, with a throb of joy, that it was one which Young used as a sort of private study ; he kept his papers there, and often sat in it alone, especially at evenings; and it could be reached from the roof of the verandah'.:'-- Thad feared he would have .gone to bed; -and wondered all the way hiowI :could get speech with him without alarming the house. The window was open, the blinds up, and I could see him, as he sat a'table writing-the same badnidoine' head with the curling brown locl the same face, the same attitude, only it sewied to me that he looked older, colder, and sterner. " However, this was no time to think; IDhust get over into the garden. All was per f~itfly still. The cook must have kept her pro cfiiih as regards the dogs. I drew off my l ts again and crept up to the verandah, a?king care to keeli in the shadow, climbed up tie corner post, and worked my wa...
TO CURE A STUMBLING HORSE. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 2 April 1887
TO CURE A STUMBLING HORSE. Some good horses, says the Pittsburg Stock. man, are addicted to stumbling while walk ing or moiing in a slow trot. A well versed ,ecl?ar1. ";statthat thereaere two causes that `woiuld:.ii teind to proiJne. this faulty action; one a general' weakness in the muscular system, such as would be noticed in a tired, horse ; the other,. a -weakness of the exterior muscles of the 'leg, ·broiught about by carrying too much weight on the toe. To effect a cure, he adds, lighten the weight of each front shoe about four ouIces; have the toe of the shoe made of steel in stead of iron ; it will wear longer; have it rouhded off about the same as it would 'bie when a third is ivorn out' in order to pre vent tripping; allow one week's rest; have the legs showered for a few. minutes it a time with cold water through a hose, in or-. der to create a spray ; then rub dry briskly from the 'chest down to the foot. Give walking exercise daily during the week for 'about an 'hour ti...
About Dogs. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 2 April 1887
About Dogs., " Talking about dogs," said the . arn teller, " I-had a grand one: a couple L ?3 cars ago. He was'a prize fighter. H& it oner fight than eat. One of tho.e yellow and white bull-dogs. He didn't differ much fi -m the two-legged pugilist of modern days, o ly he was more of a gentleman than to walk ui to a man and shake hands with him, and 'then haul off and ?break his face. He was awful indifferent too. It made not the slight, st difference in the world where he got his grub so long as he got it. And indepen dent-why, he used to go around: like as if he owned the'town. One day hw wna l'afing around and he happened to'drtip into a pub. The publican had a big Newfoundland dog, so he shut the door and went and got him, and dropped him on Nero's back--(l forgot to mention, that my dog's name was Nero.) The big dog took Nero by the back of the neck and started to sweep all the saw-dust up in the corner of the room with him; but .like jll flesh and blood he soon got wind...
A Broadside of Advice. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 2 April 1887
A Broadside of Advice. Stop fighting the inevitable. Stop t9lling ultra-venerable stories. Stop whistling airs from "Thee Mikado," unless by special request. Stop wearing giraffe bonnets in theatre st. lls. Stop telling fresh stories whose point can only be apprehended by the aid of a double convex lens. Stop neglecting to return borrowed books.: Stop indulging in more thanone hundred pounds of self-conceit to thesquareinch. , Stop supposing that the world could not get along fairly well without you. Stop lookig at the dark side of life. Stop giving. way to fault finding.. Stop furnishi,'g your friends with the minute particulars of your bodily ailments. S top taking pessimistic views of men,thin gs and the theory of the universe. Stop working too hard. Stop working not hard'enough. Stop writing to famous people for their au tographs. Stop procrastinating. Stop sending to newspapers "something I've just dashed off and haven't-stopped to correct." Stop informing your conscience that ...