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NORTHCOTE THEATRE. [Newspaper Article] — Preston Leader — 9 May 1914
NHORTHCOTE THEATRE. "The Three Musketeers" has proved a financial boom at the Northcote theatre during the past week. Crowded attendances have mnightly acclaimed and followed with eager interest the won derful cinematographic porlrayal of Alexandre Dumas' famous novel. To dwell upon the plot would be a useless reiteration, as thie story is so familar to everyone. Sullice it to say that both from the point of view of photography and of acting, nothing better has been presented. Interest never flags for one instant. What more needl be said of this beautiful production, whliichli will be screened at the matinee this afternoon at 2,15 pm., and for the last time at 7.45 to-mnight. Two special features are announced for next week. The chief attractioni for Monday, May 11 (three nights only) is a Patlhecolor drama "ln the Grip oft' a Villian," a picture which is beautifully acted and staged. It contains a strong dramatic story that will appealto every one, and some of the scenery, in the s...
Advertising [Newspaper Article] — Preston Leader — 9 May 1914
The Northcote Horticultural Socitty will hold its next monthly meeting on Monday enening, 11th May. Mr. G. Cooper will deliver a lecture on Japan ese Iris; treatment and planting of samne. Members kindly suend along money and tickets re autumn show on or before 11th May. [Advt]. For Children's Hac king Cough at Night, Woods' Great Pl'eppermint Cure, I ti. The .. . Business Man Appreciates Our prompt tailoring ser vice as much as the dis tinctive individuality of every suit we turll out, and our extremely low charges. Our Suits are modelled on the latest Iondon style, Our windows show the latest Sunwner Suit ings. F'or Well-Tallored Clothes cornre to us. TREVENA& SON, TIIE REL1A IAI, E GENTS' TAILORS 266 Smith Street, Collingwood Phone, Central i5410, For BUroiichiaI Coughsa, tuko W~oods' (arvat I'~permp~iiL (Cure, 16 F'or Chronic Cho~st Conhlarints, Woods' (hrth I'CjphJri nllhI Court, 1,0. COMPULSORY INSURANCE Workers' Compensation Act 1914 This Act has ipassed both lHouses ...
THE NORTHCOTE GIRL AND HER PRESTON COUSIN. A DUETTOGRAPH. [Newspaper Article] — Preston Leader — 9 May 1914
THE NORTHCOTE GIRL AND HER PRESTON COUSIN. A DUETTOGRAPH. [Br y applying a lighted match to goods sold m Sydney s hops as the finest silk, a visitor to Australia showed that they contained no silk whatever, though they were wonderful imitations. It was said that one article sold at 7/11 a yard could have been sold at a profit at 1/6. Other goods, such as ties, were sold at from 200 to 400 per cent. above the retail value. In each instance the articles were made from wood fibre.] We've paid for silken blouses, just How much we dare not say, And now a paltry wooden match Has flared their worth away ("And isn't it vexing, when we've just got our new under wear, all silk, and paid for poufl" ' My dainty camisole and vest, Your tailor'd dress, I fear, Our clockwork stockings, X-ray gowns, They're all wood-pulp, my dear! ("My word, and oughtn't the Government to step in and protect us from these robbers -these daylight robbers-. silk, indeed!") Your opera cloak and goodness-knows, Must th...
A NIGHT IN A JAPANESE INN. [Newspaper Article] — Preston Leader — 9 May 1914
A NIGHT IN A_.JAPANESE INN. Sly Will W. Rock. It' iwas the lDrummer who conceived the brilliant idea. Froml his nrimle brain emanated the suggestion that dropped into the midst of our noon-dqy lethargy with the startling suddenness, of a bomb. We came to attention in various attitudes. The Drummer called for immediate decision, as the time was short,. Even as he spoke the Engineer turned the proposition down . flat, "No," he sanid sinking bhack . on the lounge. "Your theory's all right, pard. I agree that you can't touch the lif of the people from thie halcony of a first-class hotel. I know the bulk of the tourists miss the real thing. Give you all that in, but the hotel for mine. I'm on vacantion," The lfiter preotor followed his load. "'less I'nm too old for oxperimits, boys,'" lie said, dlrowsily, and stretching himself luxuri ously, drapped off to sleep, So it 1e. fel 'that the Drummer and I started off alone, Fast sprinting by tlhe rickshaw coolies landed us at the station with...
RANDOLPH'S UNIVERSITY. [Newspaper Article] — Preston Leader — 9 May 1914
RANDOLPH'S UNIVERSITY, Cawmill Carrmichael's proposition to establish a chair of journalism at Sydney University (writes Peter Persnurkus) recalls a tale of that ebhul. hlent genius, Randolph Bedford. The thing happened in the days when Bed. ford still belonged to dally-press work. He went to a Sydney journal looking for a job-Bucephalus offering to pull an ice.waggon, This journal had a. sort of fiction that it loked for Unli verslty men to write its paragraphs about the Lord MIayor and the Drum. moyne drainage. It was only fiction, but it was cherished, To this august place came Randolph, to see the gen eral manager, "What can you do?" the potentate asked, 'Paragraphs, stories, articles, re. ports," said Randolph, "Ah!" said, the employer, not ill pleased. "And can you write short. hand?" The superstition of those days was that you might be Jonathan Swift and Rudyard Kipling and Hilalre Belloc rolled together, but if you couldn't write shorthand there was no place for you there. "...
SAYINGS OF TO-DAY AND YESTERDAY. [Newspaper Article] — Preston Leader — 9 May 1914
SAYINGS OF TO.DAY AND YESTERDAY, Someo people nover get higher thalln a towering rage.--Auhley Sterne. Tho only thing most people ve\'r achieve hi old age,.--Saun 8tusou, They who novor kick aro but too apt to become football.-- J, 1litcholl. Thore are lots of people wo know uot wlsely, but too well.--Charlen Leedy. It's easy to run luto debt, but hard to erawl out even at a slow walk, J. D, Rockfeller. Some girls celebrate the anniversary of their birth by taking a day off the more popular idea, however, is to take a year off,-Nathan Levy. Men, like watches, are judged by their works.-F, Morton Howard, Anything that's worth doing at all is worth overdolng,-Keoble Howard. You shock a good woman if you make love to her, but you disappoint her if you don't.-Anon. The telescope Is good for star gazing but most of us prefer a pair of opera glasses.,--Charles Leedy. The only difference between wit and impudence lies in the size of tile mall uttering it,-Estello KIlauder. A Royal Commissi...
Her Way of Telling Him [Newspaper Article] — Preston Leader — 9 May 1914
Her Way of Telling Him A young ploughman and his neigh. bor servant lass were going home one night from the Dumfrles Fair. When about a mile on the road he said to her, "Jenny, I wad kiss ye, but I'm feart ye wadna let me," No answer. Another mile on the road he again said, "Jenny, I wad kiss ye, but I'm feart ye wadna let me." No answer. When they were getting near home, for the third time he said-"Jenny, I wad kiss ye, but I'm feart ye wadna let me." "Rab," said she, "daeo ye mln' yesterday I couldna lift yon bag of potatties Intao the calrt, an' ye lifted them?" "Ay," said Rab. "Well, dash ye, ye're far stronger than me!"
A Slight Mistake. [Newspaper Article] — Preston Leader — 9 May 1914
A Slight Mistake, She was young and rather nervous, and when the precious baby was ill, she sent for tlhe doctor hastily. When the servant told her he was down stairs, she carried the baby into the drawing-room and iuterviewed a sol emn young man, to whom she related various interesting details of the child's allments He Igoked worried 'nd finally exclaimed. "I don't know much about such things, madam, being , unmarried. Wouldn't It be better to consult a doc tor?" "But, aren't you the doctor?" "No, madam, merely thle piano tuner!"
Intention Only Credited. [Newspaper Article] — Preston Leader — 9 May 1914
Intention Only Credited, A fashionably.dressed young man strollud into a small Scottish church while service was being hold. The time for the collection came round, and, wishing to draw attention to him self, he flung his penny (as he thought) down on the plate with a crash. Immediately after so dolng he discovered, to his great dismay, he had given half.a.crown in mistake. He at once got up and followed the old sexton, and asked to be allowed to got back his money. The old man shook his head and said-"Na, na; I canna gio it back to ye. Ye gled it to the Lord." The young man argued for some time, .and at last gave It up and ox. claimed impationtly-".Well, I suppose I'll get.credit for it in heaven." "Na, na," replied the old man, "ye'll only get credit for the penny."
Sweetly Innocent. [Newspaper Article] — Preston Leader — 9 May 1914
Sweetly Innocent, Mr., Sydney Buxton has some amus* ing things to say in his recently pub. lished "Book of Fishing Stories," "Why," he asks, "ls It that day at. ter day a single salmon, and one uonly, is caught? Is it that among so many fish covered by the fly there lIs in one pool one fish more active, more enterprilsing, more alert, and moro intelligent than the rest? Or is this particular fish, so to speak, the village idiot?" Mr. Buxton tells a story of a fisher. man who, after a successful four hours' tussle with a large salmon, came back In triumph and related tihe story to his aunt, Like all anglers he laid wearisome emphasis on the time occupied and the muscular ex. penditure. "But, my dear Tom," the aunt re marked at last, "why did you not cut the string and get rid of the brute?"
The Worm Turned. [Newspaper Article] — Preston Leader — 9 May 1914
.The Worm Turned. The other day Sir Gilbert Parker, MI.P., referring to Lord Rosebery's re. mark that "most bobks in a library ought to be burned," told of a lively exchange of complliments he once had with a publisher. Sir Gilbert had been pointing out that in many cases, owing to the in ability of literary men to look after themselves, publishere made far more money out of books than their authors did. The publisher remarked that what Lord Rosebory should have said was that, "It was not most books, but most authors who should be burned." "That may be true," retorted Sir Gilbert, t'but judging from the pub. lsheros' share of the profits of the au thors' labors, most of the authore were too green to be burnedI"
Followed Advice. [Newspaper Article] — Preston Leader — 9 May 1914
Followed Advice, In a country neighborhood there was an old woman who kept a small general shop, where she carried on a lucrative business. Unfortunately, she persisted for a long time in car. rying on her trade on Sunday, much to tile scandal and disgust of a cer. tain parlsh visitor, who entertained strictly orthodox views as to the ob. servance of the Sabbath, The latter remonstrated with the shopkeeper, and eventually, much to the satisfaction of everybody con. cerned, persuaded her to refrain from Sunday trading. A few days ago she met the old woman, who looked happy and prosperous. "I'm glad," said the parish visitor, "to see that you are doing so well. You have snot lost anything by fol. lowing my advice." "That's so, mum," was the reply; "but you can't imagine how many of my customers come round the hack w'ay!"
FROM VARIOUS SOURCES [Newspaper Article] — Preston Leader — 9 May 1914
FROM VARIOU3 SOURCES Many folk seem to believe that ma. trnimonial ads. In tile daily papers are either fakes or jokels Some of them are not. A young gentleman, rising 50, and well worn at that, spent qutte a number of half.erowns with Auck. land papers without any beauteous young damsel laying her rank and fortune at his feet, So he got on to a "matrimonial agent." It seems al most Incredible, but this agent an. tually found a sweet young thing of 491/, and arranged a wedding between them without either having seen the other, Three days prior' to the wed. ding the giddy young flapper of 491, awaited her selected bridegroom in .a boarding house, The bridegroom dressed himself with care and went along. The "agent" introduced them thus: Mr. -, this is Miss -, your flancee! The far from beautiful young man took one glance at a simpering mummified face that might have been dug up in ancient Egypt, and, without a word, grabbed his hat and departed. His ad, is still appearing at intervals...
More Like it. [Newspaper Article] — Preston Leader — 9 May 1914
More Like It. "We had a corking time last night," ",Judglng from the noise you made whelln you came in I should eay you had an uncorlking time." Hubby: "You will never get the dog to mind you, my dear." Wife: "I shall, with patience, You wore just as troublesome yourself at first." To many women a man is but a mark on a slate, to be rubbed off and brought back at will. A man might just as well malkeo up his mlindl to like being fooled by girls, becaus ho's going to be, anllyhow. Why do men who don't deserve it always get loved divinely?
BILL BONG'S BENEFIT. AN AMUSING STORY OF A STRANGE DISAPPEARANCE. [Newspaper Article] — Preston Leader — 16 May 1914
BILL BONG'S BENEFIT. AN AMUSING STORY OF A STRANGE DISAPPEARANCE. By Scudamore Jarvls,. It seems quite the fashion nowr. days-said Private Coles as he look. ed up from the nowspapor he was using as a table-cloth, for blokes to suddenouly disappear and leave no traces behlind 'em. Traces are about tlhe only things they don't leave behind though-he went on-for If you read betweeoon tlhe lines In those disappearance cases you'll Ind that whei the feller did1 tlhe silent get.eoway act he left at honme a wife andtl six hkid chargeable to the parish, a largo crop of tailors' bills, or 'arf a dozen young ladies, all of whom he'd promised to marry. When you think over these things you come to the conclusion as a rule that tihe dlsappearance aln't so marvellous as you fancled and you can understatnd why the fellor takes such a lot o' find ing. Talking o' disappearances reminds me o' Bill Bong what enlisted In '01, and did three hectic years in the reg! ment afore what I'u going to tell you a...
The Answer. [Newspaper Article] — Preston Leader — 16 May 1914
The Anawer, Father, teaching his six-year-old son arithmetico by giving a problem to his wife, bogs his son to listen, PFather: "Mother, if you had a sovo reign and I gave you five more, what would yoiu have?" Mother (replying absently): "HIys terics," Sir Robert Peel and a friend were once going throuJh a picture gallery whereo there was a portrait of a well. known main who was famous for say ing sharp things, "How wonderfully like!" said th3 friend, "You can see the quiver on his lips," "Yes," replied Sir Robert, "and the arrows coming out of it," "I have patrician blood nla my vein'. MIembers of my family were traced to Flodden Field in the days of chiv airy!" Young Lady (archly): "Oh! They traced them, then! o80 there were detectives even at that remote per fod!" "I \was not drunk," declared a prl soner. "I was only intoxicated." "Ahl!" remarlted the magistrate, "That malkes all the difference, I was going to fine you half a sovereign, As it is I shall only line you ten shilling...
Too Weak. [Newspaper Article] — Preston Leader — 16 May 1914
Too Weak, Smith Is a lover of coffee, and un. less it is both strong and good the waiter at restaurant or hotel soon hears from him. Recently he went into a restaurant for dinner. On raising his cup to his lips he made a wry face and then beckoned to the proprietor. "What do you call thils stuff?" hi asked, "Coffee," meekly replied tile man, somewhat surprised. "Coffee!" repeated Smith, with scorn. "I could put a cotfee.bean into my mouth, dive into the Yarra, swim up to Kew, and I'lI guarantee that anyone coul( ball up much better colf fee than thils over tile entireo route."
WIT AND HUMOR. Bad Boy's Resolutions. [Newspaper Article] — Preston Leader — 16 May 1914
WIT AND HUMOR, Bad Boy'sa Reaolutlons, "I will not put pins in my dear tea. cher's chair." (Tacks will hurt just as much, anyway.) "I will not quarrel and fight with my big brothers all this year," (What have I got a little brother for?) 'I will not play truant from school to go fishing or swimming," (That is, In the winter.time.) "I will be a regular attendant at Sunday school," (At Christmas.time and Just before the summer excurslon, of course.) I "I will not take mother's currant jelly from the pantry without permiis alon." (I-Her raspberry Jam is good enough for me,) "I will be lkind to dumb animals, such as tigers, lions and elephants." (Stray cats and dogs, however, had better keep out of this neighborhood,) "I will not-Oh, that's enough. They say tjo good die young, and I want to live until I catch that red.headoJ boy in the next street who stuck out his tongue at me yesterday!"
PATTERN OF LADY'S DRESSING GOWN. [Newspaper Article] — Preston Leader — 16 May 1914
PATT~IRN OF LADY'S DRESSING( GOWN, A good Dressing Gown is alwayl welcome, This design is for pyrences flannel. It represents "Evorylady's Journal" pattern No. 183, cut In three lsizes, small, medium and large. This pattern may be bought fol t?inopence from local pattern ag?lt or will be sont post free to any address It pintopence in sttamlps is stCnt to Dept. "A," "Evoerylady's Joural:," 37T Swanstonmtreet, Melbourne, State number of pattern and size required If a penny stamp Is sent to above address a 48.page catalogue will be seat to any reader who writes "send free catalogue." Actor: \What, baclk so soon? Didn't the play takero? Actress: Yes, the play took; the manager took the receipts, the bhal. lflt'u tbo conory, tihe landlords the trunks, and the author' took to drink!