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Head of the House. [Newspaper Article] — Northcote Leader — 18 April 1914
Head of the House. A man, accompanied by his wife, visited a tailor's to order u suit of clothes. The couple differed as t,o the choice of material, aud tlio man ner of making until the wife lost her temper. "Oli! well, please yourself," she said, turning away, "I suppose you are the one who will wear the clothes." "Well," observed tho husband meek ly, M,I didn't suppose you'd want to wear the coat and waistcoat."
The Same Line. [Newspaper Article] — Northcote Leader — 18 April 1914
The Same Line. Several "commercials" were seated in a railway carriage, when the door opened and an elderly woman enter ed, wIiobo appearance denoted that she was a native ol' the Emerald Isle. One of tho party, who posed as a wag, at once began to extract amuse ment from lior by asking a number of ridiculous questions, to which she replied good liumoredly, and at Inst exclaimed: "Now, sorr, I've given you a good dale ov me history, may I take the liberty av nxln what ye aro yorsllf? What ye do for a livin' loiko?" "Certainly, ma'am, certainly," was the ready reply, "I'm a traveller in tho hard and soft goods Ills'." "Indade, now," said Biddy, "that's ((uare, my oiild man's a traveller,-too." "Indeed, ma'am," was the surprlsod rejoinder. "What lino is he in, pray?" "Just tho same as yorsilf, sorr, the lmrd and soft goods loino—he tliravels up a ladder wid bricks an' mortar." The inquisitive bagman did not I press for further information.
II [Newspaper Article] — Northcote Leader — 18 April 1914
ir. Hawes Park—like Death—lias many gates, and. that Mr. Stoggs should ar rive without Ills host's knowledge was not in any way remarkable. Jock hint ed to Mr. Mulgrave, In a hurried aside before dinner, that the man of mil lions had lost his luggage at the junc tion, but that he had been able to fit him out secretly with clothes for the evening. Mr. Mulgrave approved of this as a friendly act. The dining-room at Hawes Park was a very splendid apartment, hut Ga briel Green—to give the pseudo-Stoggs his real'name—was accustomed to the splendors of the mansions of the great, and viewed the display 6f sil ver on sideboard and table, and even the pictures on the walls, ivith a &lt;iulet ly appraising eyo rather than with tlie gaping wonder of the humble. It had been intended that he should take Syl via in to dinner, but Sylvia, after learning the result of Jock's interview with her father, had determined never to touch food again, and was in point of fact crying her eyes out In ...
THE HONORED GUEST I [Newspaper Article] — Northcote Leader — 18 April 1914
THE HONORED GUEST By Derwcnt Mlall. Tho room was In darkness, and the mood of the occupant was black. Ho lolled back In a well-stuffed armchair, hie oycs fixed abstractedly upon a dis tant constellation that showed through the open window. Ills Inward vision entirely occupied In Imaginary con templation of nn archly provocative feminine face. Jock Ballina was esteemed by his Intimates for a young man of re source—an adroit and amiably ■wilful person. Hut Tor the moment ho saw no arts by which ho might counter the weighty opposition of Joshua Mill grave, M.I'., to his marriage with Syl via, sole daughter and only hope of Ills mushroom house of Mulgrave. Tho room In which he sat was tho dressing-room apportioned to his use during his stay at llawes Park, the Mulgraves' magnificent, restored, re habilitated, re-decorated country house. Mr. Mulgrave bad been a coun try neighbor of Jock's father for twen ty years, prospering progressively all the while, whereas the llaliinas hnd marked t...
Wasted Energy. [Newspaper Article] — Northcote Leader — 18 April 1914
Wasted Energy. The excited individual entered the crowded room wjillst the meeting was in progress, and, having cleared his throat, lie took out a bundlo of notes, and commenced to.address the moot ing. . The chairman made repeated ef forts to interrupt the Bpeaker; but ho refused to bo called to order. The oration lasted close upon an hour, and when he had resumed IiIb seat the chairman managed to gain a hearing. "Have you quite done, sir?" lie asked. "Ves—quite; but I defy you to deny the truth of my Htatomonts," ho re torted. "I have no wish to, sir," said 'he chairman. "The gas' company> I lie management of which you complain, Ik holding its nnmml^ineotliig In the next room. This is tlio Vegetarian Society!"
The Limit. [Newspaper Article] — Northcote Leader — 18 April 1914
The Limit. Mary Jano's master is a'slightly ec centric bachelor. He line one moBt Irritating habit. Instead ot telling her 'what ho wants done by word of mouth lie leaves on his desk, or on the kitchen table, or anywhere else where she is likely to see it, a note curtly directing lier to "Dust the din ing-room," or "Turn out iny cup board," and so on. The other day lie bought some note liaper, with the usual die-sunk ad dress imprinted upon it, from tlie sta tioner, and ordered it to be sent home. Mary Jane took it in, and the first thing that caught her eye was a note attached to the package. She read it open-eyed. "Well," she said, "lie'B asked me to do a few things in his blessed notes, but this is the limit. 1 won't stand it no longer!" For the note read: "DIo Inside This Package."
Already Equipped. [Newspaper Article] — Northcote Leader — 18 April 1914
Already Equipped. "Don't know whether it's now or not. I hoard it at G said tlio man who had recently returned from that town. "There's u rich widow living just outside the place," he continued, "and utter several elderly gentlemen had vainly endeavored to lure hor into matrimony, a report gained circula tion that alio was a regular man-hater. Finally a wealthy widower, carrying with him tlio.ovldence ot good living and the heartiness that seeks con genial companBhip, visited the town, mid was soon u caller upon the in- • tradable widow. "After he' thought sufficient ad vancement had been made to justify a proposal ho proceeded to feel his • way. . " 'Beautiful homo you have here.' "Yes, I enjoy it.' '"Fine outlook, fine trees, very flue all round. But there is one thing lacking.' " 'Yes.' " 'It is an Adamless Eden, don't you know. You aro so good in everything else that I should think you would he glad to share these blessingB with a husband.' " 'Are you proposing, sir?' " 'In a te...
FEMININE TRAITS. [Newspaper Article] — Northcote Leader — 18 April 1914
FEMININE TRAITS. A womnn walking on a city foot way will generally choose the inside. She does so partly In order to look at tho Bhop windows, but chicfly on ac coiftt of the slope of tho pavement, which Is less on the inside. In trams and oinnibUBes women mostly sit near the door. At the far end you will, as-a rule, see a majority of men. When men read while travelling they nearly always read newspapers, but In the hands of the reading girl, you will, with rare exceptions, see a book. When a woman is crossing a street with much trnlllo; she runB, in nino cases out of ten, and the older she Is, the more Inclined she Is to run. But the man walks very deliberately. A woman holds a closed umbrella by tho middle, and usually clasps it to her body. No ono over saw a man carry It in this way. A woman usually raised a cup or a glass or a fork to her lips correctly—that is with her el bows close to her body. Most 111011 stick their olbows out, against ail rules of etiquette. In lighting a m...
III [Newspaper Article] — Northcote Leader — 18 April 1914
Tlie Cabinet Minister nnd his secre tary lind gone to their apartments. A despatch box hnd come from- town, and public affairs claimed them. Other guests made their adleux, and l»y eleven o'clock only a small find Inti mate group remained grouped by the drawing-room fire—host and hostess, vicar and vicar's wife, and Jock Bal lina. Mr. Mulgrave stood with Ills •back to the fire, gently see-sawing from lieel to toe In front of tiie enrved emblazoned mantel. "I am-agreeably surprised In Mr. Stoggs," lie .observed complacently. "His outlook Is very refreshing. It is not always that the very rich ap preciate the trials and temptations of tho poor. Quite a prlvllego to know him." "Oh, a young man of excellent prin ciples," chanted Mr. Trott, the vicar, in ills clenr, gently mournful mono tone; "one can see at once that wealth has not spoiled him." "I think he has a very kind face," put in the vienr's wife timidly, and no one 'dissented. ' "'Kindhearts,'" quoted Mr. Mul grave, sec-sawing, ...
THE AERIAL GULF STREAM. [Newspaper Article] — Northcote Leader — 18 April 1914
THE AERIAL GULF STREAM. Tlio Gulf Stream, when it leaves the Gult ot Mexico, outers the Atlantic with a speed ot 8 kilometres an hour. It is -GO kilometres wldfs anil 400 motrcB deep, and dally transports about 40 millions of milliards of ca lorics. This enormous quantity of heat, of which it'Is almost Impossible to obtain an exact Idea, plays a funda mental role in the general climatology of tho oartli. Strangely enough, it is .this stream ot hot water, exorcising its tompernture action on tiie coasts it waters, which Is the direct cause of the existence of deserts. And this is how. Water is one of the bodies in which heat Is the most easily pre served, and consequently tho Gulf Stream, even In high latitudes, still keeps an enormous quantity of heat. Tho masses of air that rest on these hot waters are kept at a temperature higher than tho surrounding tempera ture, and form a veritable aerial gulf stream superposed over tho marine current. But tho aerial current is not like the mar...
HOOPS. [Newspaper Article] — Northcote Leader — 18 April 1914
HOOPS. Willi Uio arrival of the lioop season, ' Jessie I'ope sends 1110 tho following:— When you're walking Rood as gold Down the new suburban street, Where the villas to be sold Aro inordinately neat, When you're musing with dejoctlon On the latest bv-olection, Or brooding oyer business which Is wearing rather thin, If there comes a savage clanking And a swift metallic spanking And a bounding loop of Iron harks a sogmont of your shin— Pray accept tlio Bltiuitlou With submissive resignation— Hoops are In! When you're driving in your car With the luggage up behind, ■ Ami n wook-nnil free anil far In tho forefront of your mind— If a maldon small and sporting Sonris n wooden sphere cavorting In tho middle of the roadway with an oscillating spin, And nil blue-eyed and seraphic Marks the panic of tho traffic Aijd tho progress of her plaything with appreciative grin— Prltheo check your malediction: 'TIs a time-honored affliction: Hoops are in! —Loudon "Opinion.,,
AUSTRALIAN EUCALYPTUS. [Newspaper Article] — Northcote Leader — 18 April 1914
AUSTRALIAN EUCALYPTUS. The Australian euculyptus, or, as it is commonly called, the gum tree, lias a world-wide reputation. It lias been grown successfully in many countries, and in New Zealand it lias been found that its growth. Is, In favorable spots, faster than In Australia. In Brazil, in which country tho eucalyp tus was first introduced a quarter of a century ago, the authorities have came to recognise its intrinsic value for timber. Some ten years ago the systematic culture of the tree was be gun, and recently Senhor Aiulrade, Chief of tho Forest Service ill Brazil, came to Australia to secure further varieties, and to consult with Mr. Maiden, Director of the Sydney Bo tanic Gardens, who is regarded as tho chief authority on eucalypti. The Gov ernment of Brazil desires to cultivate tlio tree for tho sake of tho timber, which is eminently suitable for rail way sleepers and also for fuel for railway locomotives. Even in Austra lia it lias been found necessary to re sort to reaf...
NO GOOD FOR BALDHEADED MEN [Newspaper Article] — Northcote Leader — 18 April 1914
NO GOOD FOR BALDHEADED MEN For many years Europeans strove in vain to master the art of a certain kind of painting executed by the Chinese. It was a comparatively easy matter to obtain the materials, viz., the brushes, paints and the particular kind of paper used—but there tlie matter ended. They failed to get the paper to "take" the paints. Persuasion and bribes alike failed to extract from the wily Oriental the secret of applying the colors, and for years the art remained the knowledge of the Chinese. It fell to the lot of a young English bank-clerk to discover the socret. One day—unknown to the artists he was watching them at work. Ho was struck by the fact that each time before dipping the brush into the paints, they rubbed it through their hair vigorously a few times. He procured the necessary mater ials and tried to put the colors on, in the ordinary way of course, without success. He then cleaned tiio brush, rubbed it through his hair a few times and again essayed the experim...
A GREAT ENGINEERING WORK. [Newspaper Article] — Northcote Leader — 18 April 1914
A GREAT ENGINEERING WORK. : The completion or the Los Angeles aqueduct, says the "'Scientific Ameri can," marks the successful ending of ail arduous struggle with nature in its most rugged aspects of mountain 'and desert, and with powerful and subtle privato interests for the pos session o£ a priceless supply of water. Tho ten aqueducts of ancient Home were marvels of engineering skill and durability; - but their construction stretched over a period of live cen turies, against tho eight years that have elapsed since the Los Angeles aqueduct was first proposed, and the length and dimensions of the ancient Roman aqueducts bear 110 comparison with that of modern Los Angeles. The longest of the Roman aqueducts was U2 miles, while the Los Angeles aque duct is 254 miles in length, from the fntake 011 Owens River to the city limits of Los Angeles. The irrigation aqueducts of tho lnca Indians of an cient Peru, one of which was 3(>0 miles long, are among the wonders of the world, especial...
A CHINESE FUNERAL. [Newspaper Article] — Northcote Leader — 18 April 1914
I A CHINESE FUNERAL. I ' A most curious sight Is tho funeral of a Chlnoe, and In describing the same it Is necessary briefly, to relate tho mode o£ procedure just prior to anil a£tor death. When a Chinese becomes danger ously Hi, It tho relatives consider thore is 110 hope ot ills recovery, Ills face is turned towards tho window, and once thus turned, lie seldom re covers. Ill passing, I think it just as well to mention that In China it Is not lfecossary to have any medical train ing or pass any qualifying examina tion to become a doctor, but tho aver age Chlneso medico lias usually pre pared himself by careful perusal of books writton for that purpose pre vious to establishing himself us a curor o£ ills. Ot course tho success of his practice depends largely on his ability to cure. But there is 110 law in China to prevent an unqualified man from practising. After death, tho body Is taken into tho parlor, whore the corpse is dress ed in special clothes—tho best tho family aro able to...
FORTUNE OF THE GLYNS I [Newspaper Article] — Northcote Leader — 18 April 1914
FORTUNE OF THE GLYNS By Goo. H. Sims. At six o'clock on a December morn ing Barbara Mnllcson held the candle nlott and looked around tlio little bedroom which had liccn hers ever slnco 8he could remember. She was dressed and ready to start on the llrst long journey she had over taken from home. She opened the bedroom door and called softly down the stairs, "Jenny, Is breakfast ready?" The old servant, the only one they kept at the vicarage, came hurriedly to her. — "Yes, Miss Barbara, everything': ready but, oh; my dear, must yon go?—must you go?" "Yes, Jenny, ot course I must; tni1 please, pleaso don't make It harder for me than It Is" Jenny Pohvnite's eyes wero very red, and the tears were still In them "It's dreadful, Miss Barbara," she moaned. "I've known and loved you moat from a baby, and I can't lioai tc think you're going all alone to that terrible London." "Rut I'm not going to alone, Jen ny. I'm going to be companion to a rich Indy, who lives In a benutlfu.' house and trav...
Sound Advice. [Newspaper Article] — Northcote Leader — 18 April 1914
Sound Advice. The Muddioton footballers woro re turning homo after having defeated I heir opponents, anil cousoiiuentiy sev eral of thorn hail a surfeit of spirits. As tho train drew til' at a small sta tion one of tho party ' who appeared to be more foolish even than the oth ers, and wlio was sucking a two-for a-penny cigar, popped, liis liead out of the carriage window and address ed an elderly man whri was leading a donltoy. " 'Ow much'il yor take? for the moke, Buv'nor?" Tho answer staggeited the youth and convulsed those %'Vithin hearing distance. J ■ ' "You've onougii to do I to lieep your self, lad, without buyink anottior, so draw in your head, an[d mind your oars against the sides I o' the win dow." ^ Dead moil tell no tafies; which may explain why wldcjwtt so often marry again. j Says a dally paper ailwertisement: "Motor for sale; owner ino further use." Why Isn't ho? HoVIiiik oither Bald too much or too llttlof. \
III [Newspaper Article] — Northcote Leader — 18 April 1914
llarbara had Been a good deal or I'aris, but not nearly so much as she would have liked to. The count pas, who was a victim of moods, had a melancholy one soon after they ar rived in the C.ay City, and went out very little of an evening, anil Bar Vara had to remain with lier in her rooms at the Klysee I'alace Hotel. But after a few days they went 011 to Cambo, and in the charming iiltH Chateau liarbara was supremely happy. The view over the country was su perb. and the air of the Pyrenees was in glorious that only to breathe it | was to feel the joy of life. In Cambo she found the countebs less exigent. Madame had visitors, cud Barbara was not always invited to join tlieni. She was told that she might make little excursions 011 her own account, and she did not fall to do so. The countess went out now more frequently than she had done in i'aris—and she went alone. The gossip of the servants at the Chateau speedily enlightened liar bara as to the change in he count «sb'b habits. "Mada...
II [Newspaper Article] — Northcote Leader — 18 April 1914
II. Two days after Barbnra had boon hi London slio obtained permission of hor employer, the Countess .Martinez, to spend the evening with the Glynn. The meeting was a lit tic painful to Barbara at drat. It almost brought the tears to her eyes to see .Mrs. Glyn, who had boon accustomed to everything that wealth could com liuiud, seated In the small, low-ceiling td, shabbily furnished sitting room of the little suburban house—one of n j long, monotonous row. Gilbert was nt iiome when Barbara arrived, and his face was a little flushed as he oponod tho door to her nnd greeted her in the narrow ball. Gilbert was only humnn, nnd ho felt just a passing pang ot humiliation ns he welcomed tho girl ho loved, the , girl who had known him In such dif ferent circumstances to these sur roundings. But Barbnra had not been with Gil bert and his mother and the two girls long before she hnd quite cheered them up. "It is very linrd on Gilbert," said Mrs. Glyn during tho temporary nb sence of her son. ...
Pender's Grove Settlers' Association. [Newspaper Article] — Northcote Leader — 18 April 1914
Pender's Grove Settlers' Association. The fortnightly meeting of the above was hold on Wednesday evening. The president, Mr. Phillips, in the chair, and about 45 members present. Four new members were elected. Reports were received from the social and hall committees. The former reported that there was a small profit on the previous social, that the annual social was to be held on Saturday evening, April 25th, and that the picture night in aid of the mayoress's fund for the Austin Hospital would result in a profit of about £3 10s. Mr. Brown, of the picture theatre, donated 10s to the fund. The hall com mittee reported haying let a contract to have the ante room floored and the new steps fixed at the back door. The reports were received and the secretary instructed to write and thank Mr. Brown for his donation. A notice of motion was tabled by Mr. Harkins— "That this association, viewing with alarm the high cost of living at the present juncture, pledges itself at the earliest opport...