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On Oratory. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 6 June 1885
O g orspatory. Twenty'intfries ago last Cbristma~ there was born in Attica, near Athens, the father of oratory, the greatest orator of whom his tory has told us. His name was Demos thenes. Had he lived until this autumn, he would have been 2,270 years old ; but he did not live. Demosthenes has crossed the mysterious river. He has ,gone jto that. bourne whence no traveller returns. Most of you, no doubt, have heard about it. On those who may not have heard it the announcement will: fall vith a sickiening thud. This sketch is not intended to cast a gloom over your hearts. It was designed to cheer those who read it and make them glad they could read. Therefore I would have been glad if I could have spared them the pain which this sudden breaking of the news of the death of Demosthenes will bring. But it could not be avoided. We should remember the transitory nature of life, and when we are tempted to boast of our health and strength and wealth, let us remember the sudden and early deat...
A Coming Cat-astrophe. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 6 June 1885
A Coming Cat-astrophe. A feline scieritist says that iii jiist sixthy one years and twenty-six days there will be' one hundred cats .where there is one to-day. Each dwelling house of the 'future will, therefore, need a back shed about the size of the roof of a grain warehouse, and our grand children will have .to invent some'kind of' improved Gatling for the rapid firing of bootincks.
Can't Find 'Em. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 6 June 1885
Can't Findc'Em. The guard of one of the'railway trains. says he is seriously thiiking about hand ing in his resignation. Not that he doesn't like his job, but that the stationmaster is all the time finding fault witli the way he does his work: He says he does the besthe can, and has purchased a pair of goggles, but even with them, and with the exercise of great care and patience, he is unable to find all of the passengers in the smoking cars and get their tickets. The last seen of him he was in consultation with a member of the fire de partment on the best means of avoiding smothering to death in a dense smoke.
Correspondence THE LIBRARY. To the Editor. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 6 June 1885
:Corresp oncdence.: .:0: THE LIBRARY. To the Editor. Sir,-HIave you got such, . tlhingras a long stick or even ail antiquated gingham, a la Paul Pry, to poke. 'em up with, because they-necd it sorely, and it was as much, as I could do to keep' iy ' two :sticks out of their -is the other evening. . Yes,' you are quite iight', it's the libtirry people I mean, and -I am goinr to take you into my confidence about them. niowin", there was to be. a meeting, I ithought I wonld satisfy mn?self as to 0what Was going on1 ;! So, in rimy nivsteri ously quiet manner, I lifted the roof..of the;Mecha nics' isave -tihe idrii)'::last''Friddy ;evening, at, 8.x' p.m;,anadnearly got chokl.l''witli the diistof aies for my trouble. Oh, that thecrpmmittee had been with die, then there would bel no more talk of addlitions and patches, but rather'the sweepirig away .of so much rottenness. :Hoivever, there'they, weaer beneath iiie,,,in solemn conclaveassenibled, all the olons' of 'the town, divinity,'law, me...
Kensington Concert. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 6 June 1885
Kensington sConce ; Oin ednesdav overnl ln ,ay 27th;,- concert wvas giveyuin thle hall of the localiubiic library they :obj'ect' heim"g to show pnwrt.izqJ sympathy:.with. a, respected late'rs en't - (Mr W 'dhllb) ?f1 the .dist"ict; owho- has hleen.for:thelastrl;iiiýitfths an il'i~niteof' the Geelong Hospital:suffering from a liit eriiig andt painif1 dis ease. Mrr.1 rLeien (who hai been :most enereohs to the su!fercr ?urin; his ilhies). ws invited to prcwide; but tusmincs. o.iigegeineits prevented, and' the chair. was taken Iby:Ir-Wallace, the president of the In?tit?ite, whoso: position :was a: sinecure, save sonime little diveirsion causd by a representative of the hooiluum sieci.es, who;: riuler the influence of some extranotent giiizer ale uisaoccessflly;endeavnred lone hInded to tou riun a side show in :a corner of the builditi»:. 'It' being a beautiful mnoonlight night the hall was filled" to exesos, and'judgilng from the p!audits bestowed so heartily by the audience the perfor...
Borough Council. Thursday, 4th June. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 6 June 1885
.: u . gh Council: S: .Thursday -.4th June: t-'The adjoui Ined monfthlyv neeting- of the council was held on the -bove'date at 2 p.m. IPresent- Crs- Jimiesoi (inthe cliair), Arkiis,. Baillieu, 'Cottici, Cuicns, and'Rm nki?'. The town'clerk read the I:innutes of 'pre ,ious meetings of tihe coduncil, aitd also a inumber' of,& letteis,- the gist of which lias alreaidy' appe'ed iti our columnus. : Thel following letter wams reaeived 'firom the Hon. J. F. Lviei - I have seen the.secretaiy for works and he informs me that .the::Pnblic Works in no single instance ever prepared plans for muni cipal buildings,.budt that wi-lien the pl)hs of the.Post-office is.approved pf,:that he will get aioulgli pencil sketch prei)ared, and which' I will send you., 'rom. this youcan get proper plani priepared.. The plans for the Post-office. Iiliop soon to.send you, but big works toovi: slowly? ' : A petition ua s.read from. Mr Bi idges, ask: sng the cuinucil to form. the;footpath near his his prem...
Big Teeth. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 6 June 1885
" What very largteetyour reporter ha ,said a smart littlegirlof laboutthiirfteeiinim, mers to our editor. '' mi Large, mydear,' exclaimed, the; editors - scratching. his head and thinking the matter. L over.", "Not :larger than anybody else's,iare irit they?" " a .' Oh, yes," said missie; "he called ,at our, house the other day,; aiid Wihni papa asked? him ift ;he would take something to drink, ho:''" said he would jtist 'take a toothful ;' and he put nearly half a tumbler full in his tooth, and didn't spill a drop." !
Died Happy. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 6 June 1885
Died Happy. . An ex.commercial travelleb in'thii'ity ac. cidentally fell.: down a four jtory' eldvator. They got up'what they could of him, and laid it out on the sofa. " Don't disturb me," gasped the 'injured. one, whilst a look of ecstacy playcdQyerdjs features. "I, hivei't ;felt ianytbing~like it since I left off travelling on the lines with Jack Woods' brake." ' A peaceful smile slid'over his face, and hed was gone. He nevercine ,6.i iHe couldn't,
Police Court. (Before Messrs T. S. D. Heron, P.M., and C. C. Simpson, J.P.) [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 6 June 1885
Police Court. (lefore Mesi..' T. S: t). Heron, P.M, a'nd C: S O.Smlpsoln J.l.) George Floppaml, alias Wilson, wias ,called on a icharge of bshcene laLguage conmuitted oin ?h?i Gilfe, Tile defetidiintdid not Ippeir, 'and the chairman of the bench asked why he was not arristed,. Constable Jiieen v'ho con ducted the cies for the Crown expluained to his worships that the police:in iGeelong and surrounding staitions werieon the ,alert for iim"iiid'ino douibt he Would be efore their woihilnps next court uay. iThomnit h lliuliide was next called on list, inut Conlstabl Bteein proluced a tele i.m frtioni' Supieriiilteneit .Toohey. stating thal thie iaccused was brought before time Geelod" benchthat morning, and remanded to QuLcuscliffi l 'icIs iadnmitted to bail in one surety of £25 ,iid himself in a like a?ounht 'This man is charged with stealing _10fs fioi"i '.i'fllo?" idiý¢cr at b. u boarudin iouse 'on the nifoht ofthe 28ish inst ' . =CJad-le HUfntfer; c??eiitr, ileadea guilty to an unla...
SPORTING PORTARLINGTON v QUEENSCLIFF. [?] [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 6 June 1885
SPORTING PoAtTA1tLINGTo'v v QU1?NSCLI'F'. (2i,:. Ti.eu.e?.) The Queeselilfs-.icnd twen'y journeyed to t Ptort on Sa urday last to try cone n ions v i h the Port riaIng ionll team. The day was s,o blebhuj.fuutba i ,lo:tt-aecoun tof° fhe: rnul is blwin u fro '.ml to ' iii 1, iý%Q,!, t tn;i- 1:1"SMplI, :1:'l,',t?/] fn ai~,o/1. hr ,iuss, ,tuffl wito.:u [ieti ititn a let'tl to k, ck. nihrdll _b1e, nlda lye" l ,irateaili1yt15 sr4 .te'b iv' Cue l'teicion tof tit: Jel y i o :i's und 1i. A !lnu On. the balt bheilrg set rilling, the (Uii?ites *¶eidry ,i-i fl d- I, buj the ?,iILbhaeks reliutecd lI fi'ltp-: ?-zi." nfdl lie h . 1'i,.l- is- criir I u'i the .ot'i, .(,Iti gro tid, where the biill ,as furced . it of iouti:d. The Cliff follow';rs 1were lti) in ltthpyptl, ijtL ýYutkdftRu :t~id iIGfor o t 1 i fot n.dt i resltin" ulla?e'. i ittilitpg',i rul? :.ans f" ru t'h e '? . . a i; 4u i* d r ni th. s icky,, auid byj file dopki; khe iI d ht st g ,'l on lvalf' of t Ce Gll1, "uittly to the tlihA.it u...
Advertising [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 6 June 1885
A NEW WORK ON REPROD TI T E - UR i0. eýie 1 The above worl It lio aI eas o-Sd The IfEPRt #DUTIIV,- OJRGaN-, showing their Con traction, Functions, and thr SDerangmrint.i to which they are li:Ale. ...Ihbs tlto bo!; is one which may ~c : ornuodi with advan:,t.ge :býs 'll wh Ae desirous of obbiid:nng niuf;imaiioni o.n a.. -subjoct which ougt. -ta form a nortio:rof tlE'-BaKiatioa of the IMaze Eex. A loa w , ledge of. .ths subject is. undoubtedly ofC "ihl,' '.:ulabla valuo, aa by it. m;Inly of the rn 4likwlhich afflict after life siiar ba:lvoi led il.,,or-rronaediedl. SCopies .will be forwardo' unnlor stilct ' covr to any address on receipt oe post v'o stamps issued by any of the colonies. it..R. J.' P04UL ; ON S186' BOURKE STREE'f EAIAT, '. . MELBOURNE. '; . A T- T 1? .-, LT 0,1,-U01, Ti__- Ti. G. . ..., ,.A.lktst tables 'mniy savi us niAy a evii .1glor-s : 6 f e~ci. " .cm sipir t is - :f uch. l rii rcocos i, lu llst tirSC 611 i 1I -11 Cds d lolly . J . ll g non gh , 'iis. every . , ,ea...
Served Him Right. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 6 June 1885
Served HRiji Right. A man named Henry Martini hired a horse from a livery stable-keeper in Geelong, and, rode it over seven miles in something .V6r twenty minutes. This feat of horsemanship.. cost Henry about thirteen pounds.' Probably . he thought heowasridiug the next°winncr of the Melbourne Cup, and:wa.s giving him a trial, Cruelty to horses is only the crime of asses, and the fine will, no doubt, have the effect of preventing a lot of brutal fellows trying to emulate the speed of a Maitini Henri bullet whilst on the back of other people's horses,
Facetiae [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 6 June 1885
The sword is'smitier than the pen. The ballet girls are'spoken of bythe dudes as the "' bully " girls. Snake stories are very scarce in the country just now."' And yet whisky is as cheap as ever: Colored, stockings are' quite the fashion now.': I picked up this' item during'the're cent windy weather. If Bill Jackson is not'a liar, he shot four hiindred Swans 'at the Gi;pslaid lakes at Easter time. P.S.--But he is. A lady fell black on her dignity and broke it, but has since had it soled and heeled,'and it is now stronger than ever. " Will you love me whenI'm old 7" he sang. "Yes; 'wheh you are very, very old, I .will, but not till then," she answered. Justice' is stern in Adelaide. A, man got six months" for" stealing a pin.. .I fancy, though, that it was a gold scarf pin. Mrs. Brown never drinks spirits, and yet the neighbors say 'she is an inveterate drunkard. She.soaks a piece of bread in the liquor, that's ali. A boarding-house:was recently started at Avenel. A local paper warne...
Military Despatches. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 6 June 1885
M Iilitary: Despatches. At the mayor's quarterly dinner, Mel bourne, HisWorship alluded to Cesar's "Veni, Vidi, Vici," as the shortest military despatch on record.' There is one shorter, however. Sir Charles Napier, after one of his brilliant Indian victories, sent this despatch to Palmer ston : : Scind ?eMairch 10, 1811. ..PECCAvI. NAPIER. Of' course" Pamn; saw: the villainous d pun at once ;: but, `ever ready for. ajoke,he siummoned a Cabinet eliieting, and submitted the mys iterioius despatch. All his' colleagues were: puzzled, soime fiiious:. "Peccavi Why,. that nmeans caving in," said one. . ",What the deuce can: Napier be iibut ?. He is is :ju the sort of maniii wvhoii'er would cry peccavi:' Pai;suggdited: :ihat' it 'jight b'e as well to kookip u som dictionary. The book was brought, and Pam. solemnly read out, " Pec cavi-1 have sinned "(Sciide). Tableau,
News from the Soudan (Sudden News.) [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 6 June 1885
News from the Soudan (Sudden News.) New South Wales contingent in thevan! !I (Ammunition van in the rear'. Ad-van-ce, Australia 1) They are under fire l (Camp-fire also- ,under blankets.) They. charge the enemy 1 (Whether the enemy paid has not yet been ascertained.) They are commanded to order Arms I (But order drinks instead.)' " No. 1 whole file--close line "' (No. 1; a respectable recruit-not: table.cruet-fancies he hears himself called an " Old file"'and ," a' clothesline,'" and objects.) .. (After a hard day's nmarch)'-ý" Stand at, ease 1" (The vhole reginient fall' dowii and goes to sleep.) . w More news later on, when they wake up.,
Lost Opportunities. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 6 June 1885
Lost Opportunities. An apparently unassuming young man was arrested oni the charge of stealihg a watch, When taken before the court, he said : " Your worship, I would like 'to make a statement which I think will softeri the ver. dictir? this case. I was raised and educated in Ballarat. My parents were' honorable and strictly honest. I was brought lip with the greatest care. I never told a lie ; never made a bet; never saw a horse race; never went to a circus; never .smoked or chewed tobacco; never was drunk--" "Hold on ! young man," exclaimed his worship, ".hold on. I discharge you; for a man that has missed as much fun as you have couldn't help stealing soniething. Gc on, young fellow, and get drunk, and perhaps you may. regain some of your lost opportuni. ties." '
Matrimonial Measure. [Newspaper Article] — The Queenscliff Sentinel — 6 June 1885
S, t M?lrimonial Measure,: . : : STwo glances make one introduction; ... Two introductions make one dance. Two dances make one squeeze of the hand.: Two squeezes of the hand iake one 'pretty? speech. Two pretty speeches make one sitting on the stairs. STwo sittings on the stairs make o'ne mild: flirtation. . I Two.mile flirtations,,make one kiss. Two kisses make one' awful "spoon " Two awful "'spoons " make' one over-head: and-ears. Two over-head-and-ears make one love letter. Two love-letters make one assignation. Two: assignations make one moorilight. walk. Two moonlight:walks make one proposal. Two proposals make one engagement. Two engagements make one wedding. Two weddings make four happy or repen tant people.