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Too Light. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 19 March 1887
Too Light. First Sweet Little Thing :(engaged to wealthy stockbroker, who is-well, just a trifle past his prime)-" Well, yes, Gebrge's hair is rather light." Second Sweet'Little Thing (who fished for George herself, but did not catch him) "Yes,, dear, very light-so light, indeed, particularly on the top of his head, that I should.not think he can feel the weight of it at all." [And yet they kissed one another when. they said good-bye !]
The Way Out Of It. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 19 March 1887
The Way Out Of It. A young couple have recently been sen tenced to matrimony in rather a curious way. A young man and a young woman were contesting possession of a piece of pro perty, the one claiming under an old lease, the other under an old will. "It just. strickes me," said the Justice, " that there is a pleasant and easy way to terminate this old law-suit. The plaintiff appears to be a respectable young man, and this is a very nice young woman. They can both get married and live on the farm. - If they go on with law proceedings, it will all be frittered away between the lawyers, who, I am sure, are not ungallant enough to wish the marriage not to comeioff." The young lady blushed, and the young man" stammered they " liked each other a little bit ;" so a verdict was rendered for the plaintiff, on condition of his promise to. marry the defendant within two months-a. stay of execution being put to the verdict till the marriage ceremony should be completed. About the first match ev...
The Household. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 19 March 1887
CRANBERRY. JELLY FOR TURKEY OR. G-AME.-For each pound of cranberries, after. washing and sorting, allow half a pint bf water and one pound of granulated sugar. Let the sugar and water boil once in a granite or porcelain-lined kettle, then add the cran-. i berries, and, after boiling point is reached, I let them boil for ten minutes. At the end of this time pour into moulds wet with cold water. Stand for twenty-four hours before using. FAvORITE MINOE-MEAT.-Three pounds of cured tongue, three and a half pounds of suet, six pounds of apples, three pounds of raisins, three pounds of currants, three pounds" of brown sugar, one-quarter ounce each of mace, cinnamon, and, cloves, two nutmegs grated, six ounces of citron, a few blanched almonds moistened with rose-water, the juice of four lemons and grated rinds of three, one, pint of brandy and one pint:of sherry. The spices must be grounnd and the other ingredients finely minced. -Should fresh tongue be used salt must be added. To PRESERVE...
Diplomacy. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 19 March 1887
Diplomaey. ScENa - Churchyard after service on Christmas morning. First Member of Congregation-" Did you notice the strange mistake Mr. Parson made in his sermon this morning ? He stated that sin entered the world when Adam tempted Eve." Second Member of Congregation-" That is not a mistake, my dear fellow." F. M. of C.-" But surely ;he must know that it was Eve tempted Adam, and S. M. of C.-" Of course he does; but Mrs. Parson was in church this morning, and' she goes in for Woman's Rights, you know. So, if the poor fellow had said a single word derogatory to Eve, he would not'have heard the end of it for a month to come,"
Some Reasons why the Butcher is Dear. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 19 March 1887
Bome Reasons why the Butcher is Dear, Because he lets people who don't intend to pay get into his ribs. Because his heart is set upon good prices. Because he is determined to have more than one silver-side out of a bullock, and look after the pieces. Because he is so forcibly reminded of rent day by the fore-gquarters being always before him. Because he has lights constantly going, and some meat's melt,. Because he is expected to supply you with sweet-bread at short notice ; he must keep saddles for his 'customers' use, and have something of a library, as he is sure to be asked for tails of a souperior kind.: . -Because, if the farmer does not sell at small profits, the butcher can supply the best beef and undercut= as wellj and still;-have big profits. Because if a business is brisk-et has many expensive rounds. Because so manyshouiders and legs get cut in the shop, and every cut-lets the butcher in for money. Because he charges for every chop, as also for bone-in(g) your meat. Bec...
The Huntsman's Cross. Written Specially for the Sentinel. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 19 March 1887
m1o -T-it.;man Cr83 ; ·I lint ý ittuzi eei~ialiv f n1 the Scutinol I [~v i j 1 i:,T1 i Lou i~i-t3Wl1 i`..telr ti`l'fF .r.i~r 1_ ,^,z :::: ' 11.' ia'ic nc -i CS'I1-izy (liiiYý1''i,7 ;un'f- wthu b.)C ? L"- 1 ti' ri'i "'ten st vin' t 1lojliejll :o l)Ut itne f- iit'' met rhtmu one- i c hnb'k t' AThi tc'1?i t'llo~;t1'o iir Ili~i -.I-; b- ihatr -ll ýccmncd g'oldcz irn "groat -iij piorn- 0-iI And l:i ':!t ' o calrry -llhei c'unldl bear lie'iI) u ti :b'ib'; "a tuu e.' his:,he co] I lli.t luscl. u e; anil str'iunle_1 hiis * pJ~ ,l *Iiekhi.:ii. ?. '';: ' :'_ Th. ,toilb ~:;:a 1We hd :never `ii 'dil phis" hif Ur i'hego i isasure aUi safe wit'iun the=: alt could not slcop f i 'btiild tag gre ttca~stles" ii the an, A;ui ijih L itn, tit Iniin upon:Lis b ioken cilight (falhti thioiner h Ie douiway, i VI; t ie ;iiuqiietl' leiisirc ýias brutý 'i lot of' tic clitd71:n w.eic de i iteJfor they could. ha': a ii e; To r0 n.U F little rabbit they caiught upn a The huntanit ·an ·VCtr-d deinentud and- sat 't...
Rules for Whist-Players. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 19 March 1887
Rules for Whist-Players. i. Always look solemn. II. Allow no conversation within 500 feet of the game. , IIl. If playing. at a club, hotel parlor, or any public place, show clearly by your manner; that you: expect thie other occupafiti of the' room to, withdraw. IV. Judge others by their-knowledge of the game, as no other pastime requires so much memory, such close attention to established rules, so little originality and absolute silence as whist. V. Never forgive a partner's error. VI. Do not allow the fact that the solem nity of your appearance is out' of all pro. portion to any amount of intelligence that can possibly be brought upon the game to deter you from playing in. the presence of others. VII Never forget that many of the greatest men in history were good enough in their own way, but knew nothing of whist, otherwise you may fail to realise the importance of your own accomplishments. VIII. If, during the game,za child should drop anything or raise its voice; it is best to ...
Joe Potter's Elephant [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 19 March 1887
Joe Potter's Elephant Bi R. P. WHrIoRTh. ," What! not know Joe Potter ?" said Bates. in accents of the most -unqualified astonish .ment. " But who was Bates ?" asks the reader. : Oh, Bates. Well, you see it was our cus tom,'myself and one or two friends of mine, to .meet every day at lunch hour in the cozy back parlor of a well known hostelry not more than a thousand miles from the new cathedral, and, : there enjoy our post-prandial glass of beer and our smoke, and a little chat and badinage, be fore returning to the labor which racked our gigantic intellects (as it were), and there Bates, who was a friend of one of my friends, was in troduced into our galaxy of wit and refinement (as it were), and after a time became one of us. He was a " Commercial," was Bates, a man of varied experiences and knowledge of the world. He seemed to know everything and everybody, and as he could make a g od pun, tell a good story, and tell it well (which you will please to observe, is a different matt...
Escaped from Siberia. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 19 March 1887
Escaped from Siberia. The San. Francisco Chronicle contains a story of the adventures of three fugitives who fled from Viadivostok and crossed the Pacific in the Russian man-of-war Moskova, and are now in that city. These three men were Nihilist students at the University of Kief. One night at a secret meeting the police descended on the room, and fourteen were captured. The evidence was clear, and one who was delivering a speech received twenty years in Siberia, while the others re ceived ten years. The names of the three friends who clung together and finally es. caped are Dimitri, Vissati, and Ivan. The family names they refused to divulge for fear of conseqnences to their relatives. They were taken with several hundred condemned Nihi lists by sea to Viadivostok, suffering great hardships on the voyage, as the vessel was overcrowded, and whenever near a port the hatches were fastened down, and their quar-. ters became like between decks on an Afri can slaver. Ten men and two wome...
Diary of a Belle. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 19 March 1887
Diary of a Belle.. Sunday.-To church. Mournfully monoto nous. Sermon on same old subject, " Sin," &c. Monday.-To Mrs. Jones' tea. Deadly dull Ghastly gathering. Tuesday.-Dined atDe Smythe's. 'Fear ful failure. Soup, sloppy. Fish flavourless, and no ice pudding. Wednesday.-Lunched with the Browns. Awful affliction. Nothing to eat, and no one to speak to. Thursday.-Concert at Robinson's. Terri ble torture. I was not even asked to sing. Friday.-Ball at Willis'. Disgusting dis appointment. Not-a man there who could Saturday.-Party at home. Particularly pleasant party. Gladsome gathering. De lightful dancing. Successful supper.
Too Polite. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 19 March 1887
Too Polite. One evening last week, young. Muggins was seeing home form a party an awfully pretty girl on whom he was very sweet. She complained of the cold, and Muggins at once offered her his silk handkerchief to tie round her neck. It happened that the poor young fellow had a cold in the head, and two minutes after parting with his handker chief he: discovered that he had left the other one behind him. Horror ! how can a man make love who has to snuffle and snuffle every half minute? The walk passed over in comparative silence, and Muggins has fallen fifty per cent. in the young lady's estimation.
Another Deadly Missile. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 19 March 1887
Another Deadly Missile. A professor has` found a new and danger ous explosive that might perhaps take the place of the dynamite bomb. He received the other day from a scientific friend in South Africa. some specimens of ostrich eggs which he had ordered some time ago. However fresh and. fit for the table they might have been w. en they were shipped, they had time to become a little stale, for they had been. en route from Cape Town since September last, the ship, being wrecked during the voyage. Some of the cargo was lost, but the ostrich eggs were miraculously spared. When they arrived at their destination, Prof. Wise, to whom they were consigned, was in ecstacies over them. Only thick, ostrich eggs fresh from Cape Town I Not altogether fresh, per haps, but sufficiently so for experimental and scientific purposes. While he was opening one, mEntally cogitating, perhaps, whether he should fry it with a bit.of ham or make it into an omelet, it suddenly exploded and knocked the professo...
For Domestic Uses. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 19 March 1887
'For Domestic Uses. A new invention has just been patented which promises to add very materially to the resources of modern actresses in sentimental and tragic parts, as by its means a flood of genuine scalding tears may be produced on the shortest notice. The modus operandi is q :ite simple. It suffices to pour a few drops f this new extract of onions on a pocket. baudkerchief, which is then fluttered about in thi: old approved fashion with the result before stated. The'fluid is said to be devoid of sui.el and does not cause the eyes to smart. It is highly recommended for domestic use in traditional family scenes,
Advertising [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 19 March 1887
LEIS WHITTY' A TREASURE IN EVERY HOUSEHOLD. ;" o Wae. or. Looss in Weight by Keeping. Save Two-thirds. in Freight. S~eia, - -Brightens a" ~or.: ,i , . C a-T H o .e.- O -r' : i .. . . . - ' - I'_ . ?abe sed in Hot, Cold, ard or rackish Water. . .. , HEAL., AND. .- PURIFIES THE SK -. OR"CALYPTUS SOAP BORA .C;ARBOLI SOAP! I'TnD.CayeThnfedtion, and is Cheaper than the Ordinary Household. Comb ig 11 the qualities of the Borax Soap, together the MjedicinalandDisinfecti ."'"? sProperties of the Eucalyptus and Carbolic. * - REFRESHING AND AGREEABLE: - The. Only Makers of Eucalyptus Soap in Australia. -0-i iawTI8 Ar Wr ýIITTY'S To be had from Il Grocers and Storekeepers. WORKS- FITZROY AND `RICHMOND, MELBOURNE / E?\TR.?.- IIT,\ 'dY. . ;-ANNOUNCEMENT S. .- -. . _ , - ". ' • M UPLIES 'Furniture, Caripets, Floorcloths, .. Pia nos &c. . "Electro Plated Ware -Guniýs.by? ?:il:'tieBest .English i~ akers. WITHiOUT MONEY OR SECURITY Colon . . S. NATHAN'S THE ,E'rnishing Arceade. 225 Elizabeth...
THE DOG NUISANCE. To the Editor. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 19 March 1887
THE " DOG NUISANCE. To the Editor. Sir,-- Your correspondent of last week, writing under the above heading, appea'rss to have hlad lhis feather s ru ffled at, the sight of a few dorg's doing -the block in the main street of this city; (beg pairdon, .Borough I. mean), and he seems.tn think the spiil doigs have not as in ch right to disport themselvcs in public as hlnself,i thoughi he aplpar entry has not" taken: the troable to ascertain. if the caiiimu promenadeys refer:red. to have, through their masters "paid the registration fee as required by law for the current year, as I. venture to submit he ought to have done before blaming me for what I have not any thing to do wiith. He must be aware that it is no part of my duty to ilnlounlld dogs at large, or.order: them to "move on," .nd 'it is not only reasonable t.o suppose that wheli they are! taking their usual' afternoon airing, they nmust, like their Inasters, exchange their usual civilities with each other, ani nmongg!rels' or not...
St. Andrew's Church. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 19 March 1887
The aiinnuI Con i`ciratw ii 'i[cetiriig 0 ;the. repo't .1iiil hit i a:i i hcld iii the' Giii Ci· tli d n veV I balanc bliethe for the. ii. 1S t i also a jIIrr>,;i~e~i VCPift f i tiled ciirid nt yeai S I(I IVIIig I1iii t ahthoiihi s ai iin;iil i~ ,of thle formler aliietriit. oh. thoe C. i .cb t lihae beens 1Ciii. ctl fciii it, still funs arein i:a atilts i ct ', }t :stte, ;*IIIi the b:ºUil 10iiie i liiil I' e'1ieve! toe ii of itll. 'ii (1 Vrot tfo.. pt-iw :ltj l-: tidgl: cLhil si'asoII. ho bidieý hº;'icý.bet? W;0a dudoteO Oft r' t nltoo Ol i Mif J A i r .ztiia ;us, `s:'Ciili.3l Inlt. V;IS I):aolei A.i\t' , th itV reisi ot 1 tlidii. t l ie v'.idn l tifr tiit, J ti tS l1 iits 1.i\f iol'we to tlivitl - l.ctin, wtl dix.i .1 'iiiil ii I gave .'i! t11C'll·' ;slice 1n : e lu c;·c 1ýi; ; tai =1J, t ii'oe biief IiIt itu i Ca i j'si wj jiicii~i Wash leldl last itiont t i' 'he ikiiidlless o thesel aLi s, mny of whoii amrten cnt on? nee tcll &lt;wth thie .Ch'inich w t liinkfull)y :,1a...
Strangers Yet. [Newspaper Article] — Queenscliff Sentinel, Drysdale, Portarlington & Sorrento Advertiser — 19 March 1887
Strangers Yet. The train was half-way across the border and had stopped at a small station. The guard entered a carriage and said with a loud voice : " Here is, a telegram from Albury, inquir ing if any Sydney men are in this train." Seven men at once arose in their seats. The guard counted them aid withdrew. When the train reached Albury a sedate looking man entered the carriage with a basket containing seven oblong, flat packages wrapped in paper, which he sold in about two minutes at one shilling apiece. " What are those things ?" inquired a pas senger of the sedate-looking man. "Bibles," he replied in a solemn tone, as he opened the door and Went out. The seven men stared straight ahead of them, and said nothing. A deep silence fell upon the carriage: