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John Obeyed. [Newspaper Article] — Trafalgar and Yarragon Times — 29 May 1914
John Obeyed. Just prior to the balloon ascent, which formed one of the chief events at a big gala and flower show, a deter mined little woman elbowed her way through the crowd towards the car, and began to make a scene. Her hus band had arranged for an aerial trip, and had already taken his set. He hd, however, reckoned without his wife. "My dear good lady," said the aero naut, soothingly, "your husband is quite safe in my hands. I'm no nov ice, you know. I own quite a number of balloons!" "I'm not talking about balloons!" snapped the lady decidedly, "I'm talk iug about husbands. lie's the only one I have, and he's not going up in that thing! Como out, John!" And John came out. Mr. Tiglitiist-And so yoli are the noblo fellow who rescued my wife irom In front ol the electric car at tho risk of your life? Take this shil ling, my heroic man, as an expression of our undying regard. Mr. Rags - All light, boss. You know botter'n I do what that woman's worth!
Then She Rested Hers. [Newspaper Article] — Trafalgar and Yarragon Times — 29 May 1914
Then She Rested Hers. "It says here: 'Ono oE the Idols most revered by tho Koreans is the figure of a woman, seated resting her chin in her hand,' " said Mrs. Chatter ley, reading from the newspaper. "Which proves tlmt the Koreans are about the wisest nation on earth," suggested her husband. "How's that, Joshua';" "Well.V said Mr. Cliatterley, with distinct and deliberate emphasis, "simply because they make a deity of a woman wiio has sense enough to give her chin a rest!"
A BOTANICAL CURIOSITY. [Newspaper Article] — Trafalgar and Yarragon Times — 29 May 1914
BOTANICAL CURIOSITY. It is time wo should loam more about that wonderful invention of Dame Nature? known as the Venus Hy-trap, which, in the United States, flmla its home mainly in the swamps near Wilmington, North Carolina. A specimen transplanted into moss and rich earth will thrive in the house if kept very moist, and it makes the best kind of fly-trap, for it is alway.5 on duty and looks after itself. As the older traps lose their vitality fresh shoots appear and new traps are de veloped. The Venus fly-trap fs regarded as cue of tiie greatest wonders of the plant world, for it seems to exercise a discrimination of taste that is more than numan. It is provided with three delicate hair-trigyers, and it exudes a sort of honey-dew that attracts the flies. Woe to the fly, however, that touches one of the triggers, for, quick as a Hash, the two heavy leaves of the trap close upon the victim and crush it, much the same as an ordinary steel trap acts. There is no escape for the fly when...
A Wicked Defence. [Newspaper Article] — Trafalgar and Yarragon Times — 29 May 1914
A Wicked Defence. A college poet wrote an ode whore In he declared that The mesage came to the waiting laiul, The winds oC heaven carried the word; And vale and mountain and lonely strand Rejoicing listened and, jubilant, heard. But a class critic said to the col lege poet: "How can land hear, crazy?" "Easy enough," was the roply. "Hasn't it got frontiers?" Johnny Jones, the office boy had been detected in a lie. It waB- not one ot tho ordinary prevarications of Cn ovoryday world, and, moreover, to inako tho crime more grievous, he had persisted in adhering to his orig inal mendacious statement. "Do you know, my lad," asked a fatherly clerk, in a kindly faBhion, "what becomes of young lads who trifle with the truth?" "Ayo," was the aBsured reply, "the boss sends them out as travellers when they grow up."
Youth. [Newspaper Article] — Trafalgar and Yarragon Times — 29 May 1914
An old man Bald to a youth: "My 'boy, when I was your age, X thought, like you, that I knew It all; but now I have reached the conclu sion that I know nothing." The youth, lighting a clgarotte, an swered careleBBly: "H'ml I reached that conclusion, about you yearo ago." Wife (reading letter): Mother says sho'll pay UB a vlult soon, George, as si e'B dying to seo us again. Hiubbie (magnanlmouhly): It seems a pity, she should have to drag alf this wuy. Tell hor we will get some' photos taken. It pays to be honest, vbut too often the pay BOOB to the other fellow. . I
MOE SWAMP The Drainage Question. [Newspaper Article] — Trafalgar and Yarragon Times — 29 May 1914
MOE SWAMP The Drainage Quettion. For years past, (ho Mo.. Swamp flrainago question 1ms forao.l us in uomplotonoss upon the Peltiers bv tho v»qwn&lt; nor»ainB of the area, U!" 3"Nwj'H'nt losses entailed as a rpfluH.. Wh," tho first heavy and mwi»froin flood* oemirml, tho gov ermno.it, wore forced to admit the scheme was unsatisfactory, and tho granting.of additional thousands im mediately following considerably alloviated the u-oublo. But tho dilli ciilty as yet, is only partially over come ami settlers contend that an ad J11.0T expenditure of £10 000 or ii.),UU( at, the presont time would grant them rninmiablo relief from the incessant unnu il floods to which thoy nru suhj..",,|. K(r,lrl8 ,m been made to;,,|llC:, .Wmp |mM °n ^atei Commission, bat, i''* sl'y of this pro. P 1 . "'OJ' feel that to )o placed under the control of tho Water Commission would bo a good lung on general principle, thoy con tend that the government should first do its part and not permit the settlers t...
YARRAGON. [Newspaper Article] — Trafalgar and Yarragon Times — 29 May 1914
YARRAGON One of Yarragon's oldest and most highly respected residents, in the person of Mrs Devine, was ten dered a complimentary s-ocial in the local hill on Wednesday evening the i.'Slh itist. People were present from all parts of the district and the hall was filled. During the night Mr O'Toole, on behalf of the tennis club and local residents, presented Mrs Devine with a purse of sovere igns and referred to the sterling qualities of the guest. By the large attendance he felt sure that she was respected in every corner of the district. Cr. Mahony, Mr Dan Dalrymple, us presidents of the tennis club and Mr Geo. Murray, who had known the Devines ever since they came to Yarragon, oi-er 30 years ago. also spoke in laudat ory terms of Mrs Devine. Mrs Devine had been treasurer of the local tennis club since its formation and had always taken great interest in its welfare. Mr Devine respon ded 011 behalf of Mrs Devine and thanked the people for their gener ous gift. He said that Mrs Devi...
Advertising [Newspaper Article] — Trafalgar and Yarragon Times — 29 May 1914
Special Announcement. OWING to increased Railway Facilities we are now doing a Steadily increasing business in Your District and Neighborhood, and Cus tomers will find it very much to their advan to send their orders to us WHY ? BECAUSE our prices are much Lower. Even less than Mel - bourne when Freight added. BECAUSE of Greater Variety, Larger Stocks, ^Direct Importations from Manufacturers, Seasonable. ? ? Novelties. Up-to-date Goods all the Year Round IP Ton want Anything from a Needle to an Anchor, Send us a Trial Order. We Guarantee You will be pleased and bccome a Regular Customer. .pers, Grocers, Ironmongers, Wine & Spirit Merchants Central Emporium, Warragul. Millar-Wade Automatic Milker. The Last Word in Milk ing Machines. Revolui ionises work in tlio cow y;ml. Can Iks carried in the pocket. Muvvt'UvMis in its simplicity. Requires no export knowledge in order to work it. A Boy of Twelve with Four of these Machines can milk THIRTY COWS AN HOUR COST (which means so mu...
Foresighted. [Newspaper Article] — Trafalgar and Yarragon Times — 29 May 1914
Forealghted. Now Moid: Would yoz mind giving 1110 a rlkommndation, mum? .Ml6trcBs: Wliy, you've only juat como! Now Maid: But yez may not want to give mo wan when I'm lavin', mum, Fh'Bt Lady,: Too (bad! MrB. S.'al ways has BUCII abominable woathor for lior aCternoon teas.' Second Lady : YCB; BUO novor pouro but It rains.
DELIVERED SPEECH BY TELEPHONE. [Newspaper Article] — Trafalgar and Yarragon Times — 29 May 1914
DELIVERED SPEECH BY TELEPHONE. President Wilson luis crcatcd a pre cedent in speech-making which will probably be imitated by future Presi dents and prominent politicians, who, through lack of time for travelling, are unable to fulfil many engagements. The President lmd promised to address tlie Rochester Chamber of Commerce at the members' annual banquet which was held recently, but being unable to leave Washington ho arranged to deliver his address by telephone. Accordingly special ar rangements were made by the, tele phone companies at Washington and Rochester, New York, and each of tho three hundred diners at tho banquet was provided with a headpiece re ceiver. About S00 miles away in tho WUlto House tho President stepped to a specially iitted-up telephone in Uia private oiiico and delivered hia ad dress, which was clearly heard by all present. Tho President himself had a headpiece receiver, and was able to listen to tho cheers which greeted his address, and to tho vote of thanks...
THE REPORTER—AN ASSIGN. MENT. [Newspaper Article] — Trafalgar and Yarragon Times — 29 May 1914
' THE REPORTER-AN A8SIGN. MENT. Tlio flfth liouso from tlio cornor In this row LIUlo black tents against tlio ulglvt alty's indigo. Beside the door I flashed a mutch to llnd The numbor right-and'Sudden blank ness took my mind! I hesitated, peering from the gloom 'Beneath the shado Into the yellow lighted room, Curious justly, In my errand's name: And then I blamed myself, though 1 was not to blame. A woman sat beside a table spread For one, but auppei'tlmo was hours past; her head .Bent low tor listening, while at lior ' thighs A sleepy child was frowning, gouging, fists in eyes. 'The woman stirred; I saw her young, worn face. She glanced, impatient, puzzled, at tlio empty placo. I gulped and knocked. God knows the words I said! I asked her, somehow, if she know that ho was dead! ?Paul Scott Mowrer in January "Smart Set"
Trumped. [Newspaper Article] — Trafalgar and Yarragon Times — 29 May 1914
Trumpod. "I wish I had novor learned to play cards!" exclaimed a man who had been unfortunate at the game. "You mean you wish you hud learn ed, don't you?" was his wife's sarcas tic rejoinder. At a club meeting held in a public houso in a small village a dlscusBlon took place as to whether a hard or soft substance would laBt the longer. The debato continued for some time, until one man spolto up and said: "Now, men, you aro all mistaken, as 1 can easily provo. When mo and my wife married ,Bho had as good a set of teoth as any woman could have now she hasn't got one, and her tongue is as good as ever." When littlo Doris climbed up to lier father's knee it was quite ob vious that somo deep problem waB troubling her mind. Presently she unburdened herself of tha moment ous question. "Papu," she asked, "was it a very wise person who said, 'The good dla young'?" "YOB," replied tho fatlior. -"I Bup poso ho must liavo been very, very wise." "Woll," said tho child, aftor medi tating for somo...
A Little Conversation. [Newspaper Article] — Trafalgar and Yarragon Times — 29 May 1914
A Little Conversation. TIio workman -was engaged in ex cavating operations, i.e., he wbb dig ging. The wayfarer ot the inquisitive turn ot mind stopped for a moment to look for a moment to look on. "Sly man," said the wayfarer at length, "wlmt are you digging for?" The workman looked up. ".Money," he replied. ".Money!" ejaculated the amazed wayfarer. "And when do you expect to strike it?" "Saturday," replied the workman, and resumed operations. Irish Barrister (addle.sing tlio (bench): Your honor, I shall llrst ab solutely prove to the jury that the prisoner could not have committed the crime with which he is charged. It that does not convince the jury, 1 shnll show that he waB insane wlion he committed it. If that fails 1 Bhall show that ho was insano when ho committed it. If that fails I Bhall prove an alibi." The rector o£ a country pariBh hav ing scut blankets and coals and some of the good tliingB usual at ChriBtmas to an old parishioner, a lady expatia ted warmly to him ou the...
Improving His Mind. [Newspaper Article] — Trafalgar and Yarragon Times — 29 May 1914
Improving His Mind. fl'he gentleman who bad dined at his club arrived homo in the small hours, aud wavering into the library, adjusted tho light und, picking up a heavy tome, settled himsell Tor a studious hour. Presently ho felt, rather than saw, his wife standing at tho door; ho exaggerated his attitudo of close attention to his volume. 'Do you know that it's past four o'clock, Jame3?" she addressed lilm. "You'd better put out tho light and come to bed." "Now, m' dear," ho said impatient ly, "g' 'way, I'm studying-improving my miu'. G' 'way." She stood for a moment eyeing him intently. "Please-please close up that suit-caso and come to bed," she implored.
Gentie Hint. [Newspaper Article] — Trafalgar and Yarragon Times — 29 May 1914
Gentie Hint. A fastidious old gentleman was en joying a cigar witli a Irlond one af ternoon. The guest, having i cached the cud of Ills Havana, hurled the stump on to the well-kept lawi,. "What made you throw your cigar there?" said the old gentleman, an grrty. "See how unsightly it is on the lovely grasB." "That surely won't do auy harm," said tho other, "for nobody would no tice a little thing like that." "My dear fellow," solemnly replied tho old grumbler, "it's just little things like these that constitute tidl jiess, and tidiness is half the com fort of life." llis friend said no more for a time, and, in a few moments lie arose hur riedly, disappeared, and was absent fcr a full twenty minutes. "Where 011 eauh have you been?" said his host when ho returned at last. "Oh, I vo ouly bcim across the mea dow to spit in tho river'
AIRMAN'S ROMANCE. [Newspaper Article] — Trafalgar and Yarragon Times — 29 May 1914
AIRMAN'S ROMANCE. The story of M. Chanteloup, the famous French "looping airmail," wlio recently gave demonstrations at Hen don, la a most romantic one. He was born at Bcaunc in 1 S'JU, and started work as a farm laborer at 8/4 a week, but his ambition bad always been in tlio direction of motors and mechan ism. In 1901) he passed his tests for a chauffeur's licence, and drove a taxi cal) at Nantes for two years. After careful saving he managed to raise about £75, ills tuition fee, and then went through the usual course at the Caudron school at Crotoy, where ho passed the Aero Club tests for Ills .pilot's certificate in July, 1911. In October ot that year he commonced his military service as a sapper-avia tor. It was during his military service that Chanteloup created a sensation in France, on September 0 last, by being the first aviator to "loop the loop" and fly upside-down, l'egoud not having accomplished this feat until a fortnight afterwards. His daring ex periments earned tor M...