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A College Study. [Newspaper Article] — The Kyabram Union and Rodney Shire Advocate — 22 March 1894
A College Study. I tell yru, William," said lIanldrson, to her husband, '*our eon Henry has learned a heap at college in only one year. I heard him talking to the 'eqtuire'e eon this morning in some foreign language. All I could make out waso something about being caught out on a fly; Murphy reached first base on a famblo by Cully; scored a euan on a wild ball; muffed a fly; a steal and two sacrifioes in the fifth, and a triple and a double in the ninth. That's Creek ain't it ?" " Yes," said her husband, " it's all Greek to me." " I thought it was," said his wife, proudly, " and you thought it was no use to send him to college, too." " I think so yet," said the father, in an undertone. Tnans are two thousand seven hundred and fifty languages. IT is not at all likely tha t we shall ever fnd out what is the condition of things at the centre of the earth. Thus far we have only acratohed its surface, and can never go much deeper down than we have already done because we could not live t...
THE PUNISHMENT FITTED THE CRIME. [Newspaper Article] — The Kyabram Union and Rodney Shire Advocate — 22 March 1894
THE PUNISHMENT FITTED THE CRIME. Soste years ago in Georgia, there lived a teacher who was very pious, and went up. stairs to her room regularly at every recess for her devotions. In some way the school children found this out, and one ,day, as she came down stairs, a a!d of about twelve greeted her with : '".Miss Blodgett has been upstairs to say her prayers." Slhe said: " Tom, unless you make another rhymo within five minutes, I in tend to whip you." The time was about up, when Tom exclaimed, "Hero I stand before bliss Blod gett, she's going to strike, and I am going to dodge it."
Varieties. Three Popular Animals. [Newspaper Article] — The Kyabram Union and Rodney Shire Advocate — 22 March 1894
Vatcettce. Three Popular Animals. Judge: " You say these men were In your public house and took a drink each bafore the diamond robbery mentioned was com* mlltted ?" Barman: " Yes, air." Judge: " What- did that fancy.looking gentleman take?" Darman: " A ' pony' whisky." Judge: "Whatdid that solid.looking gent. take f" Darman: " lie took a' horse.' " Judge: " A * horse' ? Then I suppose the tll gentlemen to the right there they call the colonel must have taken an elephant, eh?" "Barman : "Yes, sir; that wasaboutthe size of it." At this point the animal discussion became 0o exoiting tbat we had to go out of the court room and into the plao across where such animals are kept and look at an " elephant." We always did admire that most noble ant. mal. Wire : " If I were to be kidnapped, John, and spirited away from you, what would you do ?' IIusband: "'No danger of that, my dear." Vifo : " Well you 0pn just imagine it, you know." Husband : My dear, don't you know that there is a limit eve...
Sketcher. Balancing Accounts. [Newspaper Article] — The Kyabram Union and Rodney Shire Advocate — 22 March 1894
Shetcber. Balancing Accounts. W?.ra Mr Jenkins went to the city on Saturday morning his wife aeoon pan?ed him to do a little ehouping. Ae they were walking to the train, MIr J., happening to glance down at his coat uttered a vigorous exclamation, and added, "I thought you promised to sew that loose button on my coat. Now it's gone, and a finoe figure I out I Don't 1 1" " I'm very sorry, John, but-" "'But' won't put it on again. There's going to be a committee meeting in the omoo, too, this morning, and I don't care to look as if I were coming to pieces. I'd like to know what was the use of my leaving it at homeyesterday. I" " Ihad the needle and thread in my hand to do it, John, just as the baby fell down stairs, and that frightened me so that it put everything else out of my mind. I was anxious about her for hours, you know." " How she came to get such a fall is more than I can see. What's the use, anyway, of you women staying at home all daj if you can't even keep the children fro...
SPORT AT THE FAIR. [Newspaper Article] — The Kyabram Union and Rodney Shire Advocate — 22 March 1894
SPORT AT THE FAIR. IrT was the violet calm of evening. A Kaffir chief stood at the entrance of the last tent but one on the Midway Plaiennce. Hlis eyes rested upon the form of his wife, who was pounding corn on the front lawn. " Dcarest," he said softly, at last, "is there anything I can do to help you get supper ?" A glad smile illumined her face. "Yes," she answered; "take your asoegal and spear a few of the microbes in that drinking water over there."
Cooking Recipes. BREAKFAST ROLLS. [Newspaper Article] — The Kyabram Union and Rodney Shire Advocate — 22 March 1894
Cooking Recipes. oRiAKFbTr nWLLS. One teaspoon of sugar, one quart of floor, two tablespoons of butter, one and one.half sup tf milk, one-half cup of yeast, one-half teaspoon of ealt; mix and let stand over eight ; in the morning knead fifteenminutes aud let rise; when light roll out thin and att in shape; butter one-ball of the top and losble it over; bake twenty minutes in a uintk oven. ORITTEa?, flak slices of stale bread in water over tight; in the morning tress out the water, and t. one pint of bread add one half cup of silk, two tablespoons of segar, one egg, one "ait teaspoon, of-bakig..powler, one hall -oup .slf8our,; aveor with nutmeg, fiy in hot ard.' CREAM PIuDDtNG. Beat six eggs and add to them one q'lart of our cream, two cups of brown sugar, one sint of stoned raisin.., one cup enah of our. auts and chopped c.tron, one nutmeg, one easpoon sal, two Ihtapoons eods, flour to oake a stiff batter ; buil one and a hatll u.urs ; eerve with sauce. L?BEFNTINE PUDDING. Jl il ona...
Advertising [Newspaper Article] — The Kyabram Union and Rodney Shire Advocate — 22 March 1894
THE IERALD AND KYABBAM Eight pages, or nearly double the size of any other paper published in the, district. Published every Friday Morning, at the Offices, CASEY ST'., TAT'URA NEW MACHINE. NEW TYPE. EIJ0 EVERY DESCRIPTION OF JOB PRINTING, Equal in style to best Melbourne work, and reasonable prices; no extortion. O-o Stick to your old Frienl, and give us a trial, and givo your own verdict. GQ,, ORFOIRD, Printer and Duiblishor, PHIL. MURRAY, Licensee. 0 Wines, Ales, and Spirits of the best quality keplt. -o Do not pass without giving your old friend a call. Good News is Always Welcome! And so is the news conveyed to our readers by the M\ANAGERI of the Tatura Tailoring Establisllhent, to the effect that thi newest samples in W?INTER GOODS01, consisting ,f Tweeds, Worsteds, Overcoatings, Fancy Vestings, Andl all the requisites of l.the trade lre now on view. Snits, as always, frinm 50s. Trousers, a splendid lot fnrom 12s. thi. Waterproof Coats anid Capes, to mensure, from £2 All other...
CAN WE DIE OF A BROKEN HEART? SOME AUTHENTICATED CASES. [Newspaper Article] — The Kyabram Union and Rodney Shire Advocate — 22 March 1894
CAN WE DIE OF A BROKLEN HEART ? SOME AUTHTENTICATED CASES. How often we hear tih exhressions, "Hie heart was broken," " loe died of a broken heart." It is one of the commonest say ilgs, utsed whenever a man or womann dies in thoe midst of sono hanrassing trouble, or immediately after some bad news has been imparted to them. Still, how such an expression can have come into gonoral ueo is rather curiouo, for a broken, thaitis to say ruptured, heart nfoold entail a verdyspeedy dtath, anl tidir gi that brought great hlappines ti the receiver of them would bho much more likely to effect such an occurrence by accelerating thile circulation and increas ing theo blood pressuro than those of a reverse description. But the expression must really be taken to mean ia broken spirib--tllhe collalpse of Lthe body consequent. uponl extreme depreesion of the mind. Novertlheless, instances-rcre, it is true on record where m ulical men havI found death resulted from a "broken heart" not ill any way as...
Ladies' Column. [Newspaper Article] — The Kyabram Union and Rodney Shire Advocate — 22 March 1894
nabfeo' Coltmn. Mab: and;umerous admonitions are given illng to marriage, one of which tells as ILat a man's beat fortune, or his worst, is his wife. Similar'y, Lord DBrleigh says to his ton, " Uie gre?s prudence and ciroumepea. Ion In choosing the wile, for from thence sill spring all thy future good or evil; and it is an action of life unto a stratsgem of v a, wherein a man can errbot once." Onse more, Sir John Moore, the famous ohancel lor's father, compared matrimony to a bag conteining a hundred snakes and one eel, and save, " It a man should put his bhand into Ihis bag, he may chance to light on th eel; but it as an hundred to one he shall be stu'g by the snake.
MEN WHO NEVER ADVERTISE. [Newspaper Article] — The Kyabram Union and Rodney Shire Advocate — 22 March 1894
MEN WHO NEVER ADVER TISE. Tum " Pelican" recently had .the follow. ing:-The good Dagonet girds at me, I see, in his most recent "Mustard dnd Cress," in that I suggeated that he should go lectur lag " On the Art of Self Advertisement." Says Mr. Sims; ' I fever mention myself. The persoli I write about dberi't exist. He is somethiig on papor and in a paper;. Ie lives only in the columns of Muetard and Cress. There le is a wonderful fellow." Wonderful perhaps he is. Anyhow he is always entertaiining, bright, kindly, sym pathetic, and\amusing. The Dogonet we all know, and please the pigs will continue to know for many a long year to come, is a good writer, ia good sportsman, and a real good fellow dll round, and Sunday would be a deal duller than it is now if it were nob for his three weekly columns. Keep them on, Mr. Dagonet, and go on writing of yoursell. You are by far your most inter-, eating subject. Ie DOESN'T AnDVRTISE. (Not to be found in the "Dagonet Ballads.") He was a pale an...
QUITE A DIFFERENT THING. [Newspaper Article] — The Kyabram Union and Rodney Shire Advocate — 22 March 1894
QUITE A DIFFERENT THING. Tiue Wife: " Well, what do you suppose I saw lasinight ? The Husband (complacently reading his magazinie): " I don't know, I'm sure. What was it" . The Wife: "Three tiaras precisely lko my own." The Husband : " Indeed I" The Wife: " Y'es, and a dress that was simply copied from mine." The Husband: " Imitation is the sin cerest flattery-that's good." The Wife: " And as for Mrs. Brown Jones, why she simply makes it a business to look as much like me as possible." The Husband: "I knew I'd get even with Brown-Jones some day." The Wife : "Therefore, what good does it do me to go to Europe twice a year for the fashions? I simply give them to these other women for nothing, and the first thing, I know, I'll be accused of is copying them." The Husband (seeing a chance for economy): "That's so. I wouldn't do it anly more." The Wife: "I won't. I'm sick and tired of it. I'm going to Paris next week, and The Husband: " What I I I" The Wife: "I shall have my toilette enti...
SOME THRILLING EXPERIENCES. [Newspaper Article] — The Kyabram Union and Rodney Shire Advocate — 22 March 1894
S O ME THRILLilNG IEXPERIENCES. Tue story of Miss Kato Marsden's journeys " Oi Sledge and Horseback to Outcast Lepers in Siberia " is a sensational romlnce, and we might fill many pages with some notes of her thrilling experiences and adventuree. She was not altogthcer an unprotected female, for she was always in charge of a private or officer of the Cossack police, and fo. the police she has nothing but praise. But her guardians could not save her fromn the inevitable accidents of the route. More than once she was left alone inl the night while her companions went after horses which had bolted. She was sometimes at the mercy of drunken drivers, and once she nearly shared the fate of the driver who was crushed be neath the feet of his runaway team. Another time she was cheeredl by lights in the darkness. She took them for the glimmer of fires through cottage windows, but they turned out to lie the eyes of a pack of wolves. She repeatedly came nearly to shipwleck in the flooded and h...
THE APOTHEOSIS OF THE PAWNBROKER. [Newspaper Article] — The Kyabram Union and Rodney Shire Advocate — 22 March 1894
THE APOTHEOSIS OF THE PAWNBROKER. A ?E?EI?ATION ago the publican was regarded as a comparatively respectable member of the community, while the pawn broker was universally despised. To have any dealings with him was to touch the unclean thing, anil it \was difficult to geb the most clharitable to admit that the work man who ever pledged his belongings could be aught butdegradcd atid dissolute. Time has clhanged the estimate in which the two callings are held, andl now the worst that is said of the p)awnbroker is that Ihe plays into the publican's hand.. So he does; but there are other causes than alcoholic thirst wlhich may induce a man to pass under the golden balls, and now it is generally. ndmitted that the pawnbroker is the poor mail's banker. Au honourable and indus trious working-man may find his resources unexpectedly strained by illness or lack of work; he goes to his banker, asks for a loan, and for security deposits his watch, his more superfluous cloth ing, some of his ho...
THE CARE OF THE SICK [Newspaper Article] — The Kyabram Union and Rodney Shire Advocate — 22 March 1894
THE CARE OF THE SICK Tuent are, says the "Spinning Wheel," few situations in lile where more judgment, prudencc, fortt'hough t, and untiring watch. fulness are necessary than in the care of nervous invalid. Those patients who are just well enough to be blight and just ill enough to be in dan.. dr serious injury from too much excit.r.nent, are the most dliflicult persons to take care of. They want company, but lb is to them often a faintl desire. There is one thing that cannot be too strongly impressed upon the minds of those who have the care of invalidsi, and that is, under no circumstnuces should the sick room be made the sitting-room of the family. Many a life has been shortened and mannny a family circle broken into because of nffectionate solicitude or fra ternal interest on the part of the other membets of the household. A sickroom is no place forchat, or gossip, or the presence of other than those abso lutely necessary to attend upon the invalid. Of course, it seems very hard...
MEN WITH IRON MUSCLES. [Newspaper Article] — The Kyabram Union and Rodney Shire Advocate — 22 March 1894
MEN WITH IRON MUSCLES. ENOLAND has always paid a sort of sneak. ing reverence to its strong men. We are not speaking now of the Gladetones and Salisbnrys who alternately hold the reins of power in these political islands; but of the Goliaths and Samnons who spend their days in breaking iron bars and records. " Whatsoever thy hasil findeth to do, do it with thy might,"says a Biblical writer, and it cannot be denied that.the strong men of today have laid thin injunction (o heart. Sandow isoven now with us nighltlydelight. ing a London andience with his mighly mns clesand herculean feats of strengthl. Sceptics there are who would have us believe that these feats are merely the tricks of a con Jurer in disguise. One of these scoffers not. long ago attempted to provo his disbelief in the genuineness of these performances, but he met with a bhumiliating rebulf. Armed with a steel chain, he attended the hall where Samson was performing, and, producing the chin when the strong man was about...
EXPLAINED. [Newspaper Article] — The Kyabram Union and Rodney Shire Advocate — 22 March 1894
EXPLAr?ED.-First Sister : "1 can't think why Ethel is such an advocate for the crinoline.-Second Sister: "Oh, I can. Shle' bow-legged." MAY DAnLtNo: " And am I the only girl you ever really loved '" Ben Thair : " Yes, darling ;you are the only girl I ever really loved, although I have had numerous love affairs." May Darling : " Why, I thought you just said " Ben Thair :" Oh, you know w? ab I mean. Just making love to girls, and telling them they wereo the only ones I ever really loved, and all that."
RECOLLECTIONS OF DION BOUCICAULT. [Newspaper Article] — The Kyabram Union and Rodney Shire Advocate — 22 March 1894
IRECOLLECTIONS OF DION BOUCICAULT. Mrn. AUBRE i OVCICAULT, eon of the famous dramatist, tells some tteresting anecdotes of the author of "Theo Shaugh ran," " The Colleen Bawn," &c. " My father," ho says, " was a man of most systematic habits. When he worked, he worked hard, and when he played, he thoroughly enjoyed himself. "His favourite time for work was in the c?ily morning hours. He would do more work in a given time than any man I ever knew. HIe wrote mostly on square sheets of white paper, and in a small, firm hand writing. Few corrections were made at the firnt draft of a play, but when the rehearsals carne the drama WQbuld undergo a complete transformation. "Mly father always seemed to feel his oxtravaganco so far as brilliant wit was concerned, but, unlike many authors, he never hesitated to destroy any of his Work which to his mind did not suit the artistic unity. For instance, in the play, ' Led Astray,' lie led rehearsals for thirty days before allowlhg its produ...
CORRESPONDENCE. [We do not necessarily endorse the opinions expressed by our correspondents.] TO THE EDITOR. [Newspaper Article] — The Kyabram Union and Rodney Shire Advocate — 22 March 1894
CORRESPONDENCE. o-0 [We Ido not necessaruily endorse the opinions expressol by our corrnspondents.] -:o: TO Till' EDITOR. Sin,-In the issue of thie " Goulburn Valley Y1eomlan1 " of tlhe 9th instant, the readers of that journall are treated to a dissertationlI the question of amalga tlation of the Rodney Shire Council and the Rodney Irrigation, Trust, and nd ralces wlhat, to thile editor's mind, no doubt, are incontrovertible argulents in favor of the scheme. Witl your kind permis sion I would endeavor to disabuse his mind, and show the fallacy of his con tentions.' Passing over tle opening remarks of this, sapient article, we come to a sentence in which the writer says : " There are not the mallny mighty diffi culties in tile way that some interested persons make out." What h1e means, and who the interested persons are, is not very clear ; but it certainly seems to be capable of being construed into a gross insult to those Commissioners who dare to differ in opinion to him, as to th...